Do you get a guilty feeling if you pull your kids out of school?

[Cruisin' Chick]

I think poor parenting is when you don't educate your child in being considerate, respective of others (including other children), nice, curious... We're still coping with the aftermath of a classmate bullying my daughter -- either out of anti-semitism or something going on in her home (another parent told me this girl may be bullied by an older sister). We had to get the principal and the teacher in a meeting to discuss this matter. The teacher claimed this was not bullying but I said the minute this girl told another IN THE CLASSROOM that my daughter cheats, that is relational bullying! Supposedly one or both parents were called in. So far this other mother hasn't said word one to me or my husband when we have come to pick up our children. So I think taking a child out for an educational trip vs teaching them to bully others....guess which parent I would think is terrible.

[cruisinquestions]

Wow, I haven't read the whole thread, but those who want to throw fits about other's people's parenting need to get a grip. To each their own, no? One poster pointed out 'bad' parenting is not teaching kids to be polite, helpful and basically good human beings, and I would agree. My mom ( a social worker who fought for decades for the rights of abused children -not real career, I'm sure, since she 'struggle on a megar 20k a yr not in the 60s mind you in the 80s and thru most of the 90s) would let me stay home from school 2 or 3 times a school year, just for 'girl time'. I remember asking her, is this really ok? She would look sort of glum and say, maybe not, but I miss you! We'd laugh and go to the mall. I graduated a year early. Can you believe that, with a mother like mine? Who made NO money, obviously, and would let me stay home. How I turned out ok, and a business woman, who owns her own very sucessful shop by 28 years old, I'll never know. :rolleyes:

 

Folks, prepare well, let the teachers know ahead of time, be prepared to help a little bit more upon return, and just go and enjoy. The teachers who disagree that family time and travel is as important as any in school teachings they may miss, are entiled to their opinion, and you will have to deal with those types. I have never found a problem with our teachers, they even encouraged it, helping us prepare. We took all math on board, as that is simple for my kids and read all weekend upon return in order to be caught up on that. So, take what you think you can do on board, and have a plan for when you return. Understand that there may be extra work when you get back. If my kids were not so good in school (again, sheer luck I'm sure, not parenting skills, nahhh) I may not take them out a week a year. But that week off in an honor student's life barely registers in the grade dept. My kids are 10, 7 and 5...and have missed a week of school for 3 years now. In truth, I wonder if we're almost done doing this, simply because it gets much harder to make up the work as a highschooler. But I won't predict, I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

 

So that bit of sarcasm up there was for those who are either jelous of others, or just hateful when they come across others who do things differently. I don't know why people are that way. My next paragraph was simply to offer help (not much I know;) ) for those who are going to do it. It can be done, and it's ok. Guilt may creep in, but a month after your return, you'll see it was not only worth it, but you'd do it again!

Jules - who needed recieve any replies from those who don't have a sense of humor -TIA

[moakes]

This is a great topic with a lot of emotion. I feel compelled to share my thoughts as a parent of two. When I was in elementary school, my parents took me out of school for trips of various lengths and reasons. Some had to do with my Dad's job (conferences in different world cities), some were vacations, some were family reunions. Most of the time I had a packet of homework to do. Sometimes not. An earlier post mentioned that teacher's have the lesson plans prepare a year in advance, while I'm not necessarily sure about a year, I'm pretty certain it's a least the quarter or semester. Given that, the teachers often photocopied their lesson plans for my parents and we brought my textbooks.

 

During several school years I was out of school for 3 weeks at a time. Did it hurt me, who knows? All I can say is that I learned a tremondous amount about the world. By the age of ten I had travelled over 150,000 miles, visited 20 foreign countries and half of these trips were during the school year. I learned about cultures no textbooks teach about. I learned different languages (at least the basics). I learned what it's like to be a "stranger in a strange land" so when there was a new kid in my class I reached out while others gave him/her the cold shoulder (kids can be cruel). And most importantly I learned about my family - things you notice/appreciate at home. The point is today I am a much more well rounded person with a knowledge of the world, an understanding for and of others, and an inquisitive nature to discover "what is around the corner" that all the textbooks / class discussions in the world could never have ever taught me.

 

Why can't all this happen during the summer? I'm sure some of it can, but imagine if everybody in the world took vacations in the summer! Imagine the lines at the Windjammer then! The world would be at a standstill from June to August. Want to go to a restaurant. Sorry closed - gone on vacation. Grocery store - sorry all employees gone on vacation. I know that that is extreme - but the poster who keeps pushing the summer vacation is wishing for an extreme version of an ideal world. I would love to have summers off just like by children do, but alas as an executive in the television industry, we are getting ready for the fall TV season. We all live by our individual constraints and parameters.

 

What is a "real job" anyhow? How demeaning is that statement. Is the person that cleans your house any less of a person than the engineer? Do they not work as hard? We all work hard and with a little luck along the way we get by and succeed. We succeed in our chosen careers, whether it be as a house cleaner or as an engineer, as a teacher or as an executive. We succeed as parents, but most importnatly we succeed as human beings. And as a human being it is our responibility as parents to instill in our children a sense of right from wrong and an understanding that no one, whether it be by race, sex, orientation, etc... is any better than another and the best classroom for that is by travelling. Look around you, there is math, science, vocabulary, history everywhere! It's not limited to a classroom.

 

BTW, if ever my child had a teacher as stressed out as the one described earlier, I'd be the first in line to the Principal's/District office requesting said teacher take a leave of absence to regroup. They need a vacation!

[gregandamy]

Well said, all of it.

[cruisinqt]

Moakes, I couldn't agree more!;) In this day and age where kids are being physically abused, mentally abused, and just plain old ignored, parents that take an interest in their children should be applauded. Parents that can't stand to be separated from their children for a week while on vacation obviously love them and want to spend time with them. I think that is a good thing. If all parents spent extra time with their kids, taking them to see other parts of the world and sharing their lives with them I think this would be a better world to live in.

 

Just because you choose to take your kid during the fall instead of during the summer for personal reasons, does that make you a bad person? I think not!

Should other people who do not know your situation judge you and call you a bad parent? An intelligent reasoning person would not. A selfish judgemental person might.:rolleyes:

[Soxfan05]

This is a great topic with a lot of emotion. I feel compelled to share my thoughts as a parent of two. When I was in elementary school, my parents took me out of school for trips of various lengths and reasons. Some had to do with my Dad's job (conferences in different world cities), some were vacations, some were family reunions. Most of the time I had a packet of homework to do. Sometimes not. An earlier post mentioned that teacher's have the lesson plans prepare a year in advance, while I'm not necessarily sure about a year, I'm pretty certain it's a least the quarter or semester. Given that, the teachers often photocopied their lesson plans for my parents and we brought my textbooks.

 

During several school years I was out of school for 3 weeks at a time. Did it hurt me, who knows? All I can say is that I learned a tremondous amount about the world. By the age of ten I had travelled over 150,000 miles, visited 20 foreign countries and half of these trips were during the school year. I learned about cultures no textbooks teach about. I learned different languages (at least the basics). I learned what it's like to be a "stranger in a strange land" so when there was a new kid in my class I reached out while others gave him/her the cold shoulder (kids can be cruel). And most importantly I learned about my family - things you notice/appreciate at home. The point is today I am a much more well rounded person with a knowledge of the world, an understanding for and of others, and an inquisitive nature to discover "what is around the corner" that all the textbooks / class discussions in the world could never have ever taught me.

 

Why can't all this happen during the summer? I'm sure some of it can, but imagine if everybody in the world took vacations in the summer! Imagine the lines at the Windjammer then! The world would be at a standstill from June to August. Want to go to a restaurant. Sorry closed - gone on vacation. Grocery store - sorry all employees gone on vacation. I know that that is extreme - but the poster who keeps pushing the summer vacation is wishing for an extreme version of an ideal world. I would love to have summers off just like by children do, but alas as an executive in the television industry, we are getting ready for the fall TV season. We all live by our individual constraints and parameters.

 

What is a "real job" anyhow? How demeaning is that statement. Is the person that cleans your house any less of a person than the engineer? Do they not work as hard? We all work hard and with a little luck along the way we get by and succeed. We succeed in our chosen careers, whether it be as a house cleaner or as an engineer, as a teacher or as an executive. We succeed as parents, but most importnatly we succeed as human beings. And as a human being it is our responibility as parents to instill in our children a sense of right from wrong and an understanding that no one, whether it be by race, sex, orientation, etc... is any better than another and the best classroom for that is by travelling. Look around you, there is math, science, vocabulary, history everywhere! It's not limited to a classroom.

 

BTW, if ever my child had a teacher as stressed out as the one described earlier, I'd be the first in line to the Principal's/District office requesting said teacher take a leave of absence to regroup. They need a vacation!

 

 

Excellent post!

 

So do you think you could produce a television program that would expose the competitive "sport" of parenting and promote more reasonable standards for us to raise our kids by..... like the ones that you just mentioned! PLEASE?

[Onessa]

Rule number one - "know your child." A lot of people to try to make hard and fast rules - it's fine to take your kid out of school or it's horrible to take your kid out of school. But as a parent, you need to know your child well enough to be able to make that decision for you and your family.

 

Ask yourself: Can my child "afford" to miss school for x number of days? Can they handle the extra work? Will their school penalize them for missing?

 

Also consider the alternatives that you are considering. If, for example, you will take the trip without your child and leave him/her home - will your child be better off at home with a care giver? This will vary by the child as well - there are some kids that if they are staying home with Grandma will have a great time, there are others who are very disturbed by being left behind or who miss their parents so much that they are unable to sleep and / or concentrate.

 

I feel I know what my daughter is capable of handling - and I work with my DH and her teachers to determine what is best for her. (. . . and we decided that HI at Thanksgiving was going to be a good thing for us all! :D ).

[4boys4mom]

We pull the boys out every year. We can afford to go when the deals are good. Their teachers have come to expect it. Over the years they have been given worksheets to complete before they get back. One teacher assigned a book report, and another required a presentation on the Ports of call. Now that one is in Middle School he has seven teachers to contend with, but their creativity amazes me. He has been assigned reports and presentations as well as really fun creative stuff. His band teacher required him to listen to the different styles of music on the ships and in port. One teacher required him to visit buildings of Historical signifigance, take a picture, and tell why it was signifigant. One teacher even had my son go out on the deck at night and see how many constellations he could find. I think most teachers realize that travel broadens the range of experiences for the student and also understand budgets. Give the teachers plenty of notice, our schools require a week, but I mention it on open house night also. We have one teacher who taught both boys and she still gets a souvinier even five years after she taught the last one. The most important thing is to make sure your child completes the assignments given to him. It teaches him that school is important and shows respect for the teacher. I know some parents lie and say the student was sick, but i think that's wrong. And if we had done that we would have missed some very interesting activities.

[moakes]

Excellent post!

 

So do you think you could produce a television program that would expose the competitive "sport" of parenting and promote more reasonable standards for us to raise our kids by..... like the ones that you just mentioned! PLEASE?

 

 

 

LOL. Competitive Sport of parenting...just watch parents on the sidelines of youth soccer / Little League... WOW - It's amazing each one tries to outdo the other when it comes to screaming at their kid.

 

Actually I very rarely watch TV only LOST and 24.

[Soxfan05]

LOL. Competitive Sport of parenting...just watch parents on the sidelines of youth soccer / Little League... WOW - It's amazing each one tries to outdo the other when it comes to screaming at their kid.

 

Actually I very rarely watch TV only LOST and 24.

 

Just wait, it carries over to EVERYTHING! Imagine having to the be the person who tells the parent that their child is "blissfully average" only to have the parent look for a SPED label for their child's "ailment". If their child isn't above average, they're NOTHING. It's very very sad. They figure if they don't have the "edge" by being above average, they'll give them an edge with an IEP or 504 that will help them with special considerations in college.

 

You're right, sports is a nightmare. I know of kids in our town who are currently playing 2 baseball teams (one is an invite only) and a soccer team. They're 10 years old! Certainly leaves little time for anything else. The team has become a standing joke around the "average kids" ballfield as the parents of the kids who were orginally chosen have made it known it was "special". One realisitic, yet currently disgruntled parent has blown the lid off the scam. Seems the $500 fee for the special league got the kids 2 really nice game jerseys, a jacket and 2-4 games per weekend. No practice time, no clinics, nothing. Lack of practice has cost the team of individual superstars as the team has never won a game and parents are "invited" to drive their children 50-100 miles away to games scheduled for 8:00 a.m. most weekend mornings. Seems they're playing against some true all star caliber kids (the team from our town has 2 legitimate stars). The dads who are coaching (and coincidentally have kids on the team) are upset.

 

 

Keep taking your kids away and exposing them to the wonders outside their little worlds. They will find their bliss and their gift....everyone has one and some just aren't measured by society.

[yetti78]

I just started reading this thread, and I can't believe some people are so concerned with their kids going to school every day.

 

We are taking our kids on a 29 night cruise this october and they will miss a whole month of school.

 

The school district is very much against it and are saying that the kids may have to go to summer school or even be held back, but I don't care because our vacation is more important.

[suzsummit]

I just started reading this thread, and I can't believe some people are so concerned with their kids going to school every day.

 

We are taking our kids on a 29 night cruise this october and they will miss a whole month of school.

 

The school district is very much against it and are saying that the kids may have to go to summer school or even be held back, but I don't care because our vacation is more important.

 

Knowing this was your first post and the tone. No replies needed. Nice try in attempting to get everyone upset again.

[cruisinqt]

There's a little chinese girl in my daughters class who went to China for 3 weeks last year. Since they were going to be gone for so long, they pulled her out of school permanently as if they were never coming back. That way there were no absentee days on her record. And when she did come back, they enrolled her back into school as if she were a brand new student. That way no one could punish her for being gone or being absent for so long because she was considered by law to be a new student that had just arrived. Fortunately for her they just put her back into the classes she was in before and everything was just fine. I guess Yetti78 could do that.

 

Yetti, the chinese girl who was gone for 3 weeks missed out on a lot and struggled with school that year, and she's a very bright girl. But on the other hand, she had never been to China to see her grandparents and other close family relatives. And they just happened to get a really great deal on airfare that they couldn't pass up. Unfortunately, airfare shoots up sky high in the summer just like everything else does.:(

 

Yetti78, if you like to travel a lot and plan on pulling your kids out frequently, you might start home schooling them. Or you could look for a year round school in your area that has lots of extra days off throughout the year. It might help with the kids transition from school to vacation to school again if they haven't missed as many days.;)

[yetti78]

"Knowing this was your first post and the tone. No replies needed. Nice try in attempting to get everyone upset again.":confused: :confused: :confused:

 

huh??????????? :confused:

[familycruzer]

I just started reading this thread, and I can't believe some people are so concerned with their kids going to school every day.

 

We are taking our kids on a 29 night cruise this october and they will miss a whole month of school.

 

The school district is very much against it and are saying that the kids may have to go to summer school or even be held back, but I don't care because our vacation is more important.

 

Have a great time.:D

[MrsPete]

I just started reading this thread, and I can't believe some people are so concerned with their kids going to school every day.

 

We are taking our kids on a 29 night cruise this october and they will miss a whole month of school.

 

The school district is very much against it and are saying that the kids may have to go to summer school or even be held back, but I don't care because our vacation is more important.

 

My students are with me for only 90 days. If your child were in my class, he or she would miss literally 1/3 of the coursework. Of course your child would have to go to summer school!

[tripman]

You would fail my child for missing 1/3 of the class? Why? Isn't what I'm teaching them more important anyway?

[stacieps]

I replied to a similar "kids out of school" thread last year. I would just like to say that I don't feel guilty taking my kids out of school (grade school), although we do try to schedule so that they miss as little time as possible.

 

Late October 2003 we took DD (1st grade) and DS (pre-K) on a week-long cruise. We did what DD's teacher asked and she kept a journal and made a presentation with shells, postcards, etc. that we had collected. A month after our trip DH got notified that his Army National Guard unit was being deployed to Iraq! DH left 1/5/04. Our family was very happy that we'd had a wonderful family vacation so soon before he left. DH returned to the US - in July 04, sooner than scheduled. In May 04 he was injured in an IED explosion - he spent the month of July at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. He was then able to come home in 8/04 - several months without seeing our small children. DH has had 7 surgeries and is still in physical therapy.

 

We are booked on the Carnival Miracle for 11/6/05 - our children (grades 3 and 1 at that time) will miss 2 1/2 days of school. So, for our family - right now is a time for doing things as a family and enjoying life. That is not to say that I would abuse taking the kids out of school - I planned the trip for a time when DH will be done with PT (hopefully), and for a week that our school district has time off (veteran's day, teacher workshop day, and an early release for teacher meetings) - so no guilty feeling here for having my children spend quality time with Dad (and Mom)!

[2Cruise4Ever]

Stacie ~ God bless you, your family, and especially your DH for serving our country. I can't think of a better reason to have a family vacation. And, I'm so happy to hear that your DH is going to be ok.

 

On another note: keep in mind that there are posters who are lurking out there who's sole purpose for being here is to get a rise out of us. Pay no attention to that man (woman) behind the curtain for he/she knows NOTHING of what he/she speaks!

 

Again, blessings :D

[txteacher]

Schools' incomes from tax revenue isn't based on daily attendance. There is A (as in ONE) day every year where they do a head count, and the funding is based on that count. It's been that way since the 1960's.

 

Actually, this is not true in every case. In Texas, school funding is based on average daily attendance over the entire school year. Each state has its own formula for funding.

 

That being said, as a teacher I know that there are experiences that just can't be provided in a classroom! You know your child, and his/her situation better than anyone else, I say go for it! I am, unfortunately, stuck with school vacations as my only cruising option, but in another circumstance I wouldn't hesitate to take my 7yo out of school for a once in a lifetime experience.

 

Txteacher

[MrsPete]

You would fail my child for missing 1/3 of the class? Why? Isn't what I'm teaching them more important anyway?

 

Without benefit of tone, I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic.

 

Your child might learn quite a bit about local cultures, good manners, etc. on a cruise; important or not, that's not the point. When a child finishes my class, he doesn't get a grade in languages or oceanography -- he gets a grade in English. The state has given me a list of concepts which are to be taught in the 90 days of class. If your child misses 1/3 of the classes, he or she will not master those concepts and will not deserve a grade for English class. What he may have learned about life in general doesn't help with the list of specific concepts to be learned in this particular English class.

[the4ofusandallourfriends]

We've seen a couple of extreme views here. I think there's a balance......too much time away can be too disruptive....but I think most parents here are caring and have common sense.

 

For our family (and our family only), a week plus a couple days here and there, once a school year feels right.

 

 

Mrs. Pete, being that you're a teacher, and quite possibly a parent.....based on a Sept-may/june year, how much school would you allow your children to miss for a life enriching holiday (I'm not talking about Disney every year)?

[yetti78]

Are you trying to say I don't have common sense? If the teacher can't get my child caught up after missing a month, then how good of a teacher is she?

[elaineof6]

trollin', trollin', trollin......

[the4ofusandallourfriends]

cough....troll..

 

sblahars....eh, I mean yetti.......I'm saying that as a parent you can use YOUR common sense to decide what is best for your child

 

With a comment like the one you made, it's best for me to let you be the judge of your own common sense...