Torn...family vaca or romantic anniversary

[ZoeyVictoria]

Would it be possible to leave the kids with a family member close to the port for a 4-night romantic cruise, then have them brought to the port to board with you for a family 3-night segment of a B2B?

[bythehex]

You got married in 2004 so your 10 year anniversary won't be until 2014. I don't know your finances, but in the interim, is it possible to take a short cruise with your children and then take one alone with your husband for the anniversary?

 

I've been married for 30 years and we almost always took our son with us, because he's fun to be with and we love him. But, he's an adult now, and we like just being by ourselves too. And we have wonderful memories of sailing with him, but we can't forget that we're also a couple and need time for ourselves. It's a nice chance for us to remind ourselves that even after 30 years together, we still enjoy being in each other's company.

[stargate fan]

My DH and I have been on 2 cruises, one in 2004 for our honeymoon, and the other last year just for fun. We are hoping to not wait another 7 years between cruises this time, so we are thinking about going again in about 2 years.

 

My dilemma is this...do we do a fun family vacation with our DSs, currently 4 and 7 years old? Or do we do a romantic 10 year anniversary cruise? My hubby would say to do just us, he thinks i'm crazy for wanting to take our wild children with us on a week-long, expensive vacation. We usually just go camping or day trips to a water park with them... But, I think they are getting old enough to do a longer, bigger vacation. The increased costs are quite daunting, though....

 

For all the parents out there, what would you do?

 

When our first son was born, I made it clear to my husband that from that point on, all vacations would include him. Along came our second son and I reminded DH that we are a "family". We spent all of our anniversaries with the boys, we took family vacations that, like you, included camping and day trips. Our tenth anniversary was a day trip to the Boston Museum of Science and Chinese for dinner. From the day they were born until our youngest was a sophomore in college, we went away alone only twice. Both times the boys spent quality time with their grandparents. All other vacations, including cruises while the boys were in college, were taken as a family. We even took the boys (men :D) on a family cruise this past April. It was amazing.

 

Our boys are now 24.5 and 22. (Today is his birthday.) One lives 10 hours away and the other is still in college in Boston but has his own apartment. I am so thankful for all the family time we spent together. In fact, our oldest called us just last week to thank us for giving him such a great life and for making him and his brother our priorities. Pretty cool, huh?

 

This decision is a very personal one. But think about this-anniversaries come and go but kids grow up and move away.

[Gail & Marty sailing away]

Take the kids ....

[KeithsKelly]

Take the kids. I really don't think you'll ever regret it and you never get that same opportunity a second time, and with Carnival's kids' program you can still get time to yourselves.

 

DH and I celebrated our 25th anniversary yesterday, and are leaving on a cruise next weekend to celebrate. This will be the first time we've traveled without our kids...EVER. DS22 and DD19 (20 next month) have had a big family vaca with us every year, and we spend lots of time on the lake together all summer long. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. The ONLY reason they aren't going this time is because it conflicts with their school schedules. We will, however, spend a four day weekend together in Chicago sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas for our annual holiday weekend trip, which we've been doing since I was prego with the oldest.

[Jane2357]

The most important thing parents can do for their children it to keep the marriage (or relationship) healthy. Away time with your partner is very important and scarce when you have small children. I saw book a shorter, cheaper cruise for the two of you - then do something at a different time with the kiddos.

[NewKansasKruiser]

I would take the family vacation with the children. Trust me, you will BLINK and they will be grown and gone. You will have plenty of years to vacation alone, but only have a small window that you can vacation as a family and build memories. I have NO regrets in the vacation dept...we took so many cool vacations with our kids and never once took one alone. Now that they are grown, we have lots of years for quiet, alone vacations or cruises. Although I'm thinking we should start a tradition of paying for their cruise once a year so they will vacation with me also. :)

 

My DH and I have been on 2 cruises, one in 2004 for our honeymoon, and the other last year just for fun. We are hoping to not wait another 7 years between cruises this time, so we are thinking about going again in about 2 years.

 

My dilemma is this...do we do a fun family vacation with our DSs, currently 4 and 7 years old? Or do we do a romantic 10 year anniversary cruise? My hubby would say to do just us, he thinks i'm crazy for wanting to take our wild children with us on a week-long, expensive vacation. We usually just go camping or day trips to a water park with them... But, I think they are getting old enough to do a longer, bigger vacation. The increased costs are quite daunting, though....

 

For all the parents out there, what would you do?

[AXiDMonica]

So many replies... I don't have any kids so I may be giving a one-sided opinion here but I am an only "child" to parents who are 64 and 62 now so I have a couple of things to say.

 

While everyone says take the kids they are also saying "you can put them in camp carnival!" I ask myself, why? If the whole point of spending the extra money to bring the kids along is to spend time as a family with them then why would you put them in a camp away from you and your husband? To me that seems so pointless. All of my family vacations were FAMILY time, they never ever put me in camp. I dont understand parents who cruise "as a family" to then stick the kids in a camp to get some "alone time" ... for that GO ALONE. No?

 

Second, I completely understand the fact that kids will grow up in the BLINK of an eye but you cannot rely on the fact that "you will have all this time to travel alone once the kids are grown" .... because truth is LIFE gets in the way sometimes. My parents had all of those travel plans and now MANY things have gotten in the way and they are not able to travel alone as they had planned.

 

It was wonderful to have traveled as a family all of my life along with my mom and dad but I'm still here now, just because I'm not 10 doesnt mean we cant spend time together and enjoy each other. However, they will never ever get their chance to travel alone and enjoy EACH OTHER.

 

Now that I'm married I see how important it is to get away every anniversary and ENJOY MARRIED LIFE...alone... no kids, no family.

 

My vote is for a GREAT 10 YEAR CRUISE without the kids. Who knows? You may come back with an addition to the fam? ;)

[Earthworm Jim]

Leave the kids with Grandma. You spend the other 358 days a year with them, don't feel like you never deserve any time for yourselves. Particularly for a 10th anniversary. It doesn't mean you don't love them, so don't feel guilty over it.

 

When our first son was born, I made it clear to my husband that from that point on, all vacations would include him.

 

Perhaps you could have considered negotiating the point with him, since he is also a full partner in the marriage/parenthood deal. And he might have agreed with you. But you make it sound like you gave him no say in the decision whatsoever.

[jsfromsc]

Hard for me to say since your kids will still be fairly young then. I will say that my husband and I had two romantic anniversary cruises that we loved. Then for our 25th we took 3 of our 4 kids (the 4th had a baby and toddler we did not want to take along because of their age and someone always having to mind them, couldn't get a sitter for the length of the cruise and her husband is afraid to be on a ship). Anyway, it was the best time ever for all of us. Now granted our kids were grown. The youngest was 18. But the best part of the day was all of us gathered around the dinner table talking about what each had done during the day. Some excursions we took together and we will never forget the great times we had. You'll have to decide if all being in one cabin, putting the kids in Camp Carnival, not being able to do excursions as a couple, etc. will diminish your enjoyment of the cruise. But your kids would always have the memories of the really great vacation they took with their parents vs. remembering being left with a relative or sitter while Mom and Dad had fun without them. Not judging here, because I would be reluctant to take small kids on a ship just for the fact of worrying about them in any possible emergency or if they got sick or something. It's different when they're old enough to be on their own.

[T. Advisor King]

.... You'll have to decide if all being in one cabin, putting the kids in Camp Carnival, not being able to do excursions as a couple, etc. will diminish your enjoyment of the cruise. But your kids would always have the memories of the really great vacation they took with their parents vs. remembering being left with a relative or sitter while Mom and Dad had fun without them. Not judging here, because I would be reluctant to take small kids on a ship just for the fact of worrying about them in any possible emergency or if they got sick or something. It's different when they're old enough to be on their own.

 

How is that any different from when the kids go and do things and have fun without the parents? I have never spent my time 24/7 week in, week out with my kids. They've always had their own lives. Most things they did growing up involved me, but many things didn't. I didn't begrudge them if they went off and had fun without me. I think I'd be sending the wrong message if I thought it was wrong for me to enjoy myself without them.

[stargate fan]

Perhaps you could have considered negotiating the point with him, since he is also a full partner in the marriage/parenthood deal. And he might have agreed with you. But you make it sound like you gave him no say in the decision whatsoever.

 

Actually, I did give him no say in this matter. We had a very difficult time having children and thought that we might never have them. Before we became parents, we traveled a lot, ate out, spent years of quality time just being us. But once the boys came, that was it. We have two amazing sons who make us proud. Now that they are grown and on their own, we are again traveling a lot and spending quality time together. I wouldn't change anything.

[rach1fun]

Wow!!! OP here. What great responses! It seems as though most of you say take the boys with. I really would like to, but I do have to convince my DH of it, lol... Unfortunately, we live in Minnesota, so travel fees are about as much as the cruise fees. I wish we could take 2 separate cruises, that would make the decision much easier. But alas, there are no cruise ports within comfortable driving distance :( so its pretty much all or nothing. The other thing is, if we decide to go as a couple, it just means that we would do our next one (probably another 2-3 years down the road) with them. My decision is leaning heavily toward family, but I still have 2 reservations. 1st, $$, which if I knew we were going to do it, we would just have to plan accordingly. 2nd, (and probably most important) My boys are WILD. If the decision were for right now, I would say a H@#L no!! My 4 yr old is crazy and there is no way I would take him on a plane, but I do see him finally starting to grow up (a little). I remember when 7yr DS was 6, we finally exhaled with him and said he is getting better... So, do we cross our fingers for ages 6 and 9, or wait until we are sure at ages 8 and 11. Those are the decisions weighing heavily on my mind, and the choices I have to make!!

[hockeyluver]

My DH and I have been on 2 cruises, one in 2004 for our honeymoon, and the other last year just for fun. We are hoping to not wait another 7 years between cruises this time, so we are thinking about going again in about 2 years.

 

My dilemma is this...do we do a fun family vacation with our DSs, currently 4 and 7 years old? Or do we do a romantic 10 year anniversary cruise? My hubby would say to do just us, he thinks i'm crazy for wanting to take our wild children with us on a week-long, expensive vacation. We usually just go camping or day trips to a water park with them... But, I think they are getting old enough to do a longer, bigger vacation. The increased costs are quite daunting, though....

 

For all the parents out there, what would you do?

 

We took our kids on our first 6 cruises and enjoyed every minute of it, tons of awesome memories for us and them. now that they are older (not us , just the kids) we go either with friends or just the two of us. Our next B2B is just us and I am looking forward to the alone time with my hubby. Hope that answer was clear as mud :p :p

 

I see you were in 9202 on the Victory :D We have that exact cabin for our B2B how did you like it??????? any pics?

[rach1fun]

 

I see you were in 9202 on the Victory :D We have that exact cabin for our B2B how did you like it??????? any pics?

 

We loved it! Thought it was a great size, window was nice to have at cheaper than a oceanview. We loved having the balcony right out our door. We had it completely to ourselves most of the time. If given the chance, would totally do another 4J room!! Here are some pics of the room. I have more here

 

[alligirl78]

Take them. I've never cruised without my DS's (8 and 11) and they LOVE IT. The memories we have made are so cherished..by all of us. My boys have said that when they are parents and grandparents, they will take their kids/grandkids on cruises cuz it's the best thing a family can do. You get the best of both worlds. Camp Carnival can handle Crazy 1 and Crazy 2..no sweat. And they might PREFER it to hanging out with you boring lovebirds. You can spend family time AND couple time together.

 

As a budget minded mom who lives far away from port too..consider going during off-peak season and you'll find lower fares. I have no problem being in an interior cabin with 4. It's cozy but we're never in our rooms anyway. Also, I have pulled my kids outta school (flamers..leave me alone, I don't wanna hear it) for the best rates. Be willing to look at older ships. Most of them have had makeovers and offer the fun stuff kids love!

 

Check into your credit card and it's rewards programs. I've gotten a $5 airline ticket, free car rental and I don't pay to check luggage on a certain airline from one of my cards. Little stuff adds up.

 

You can look for discount airfare but watch the fine print and baggage fees. Went to Myrtle Beach over Spring Break with my fiance thinking we were getting a great deal through Spirit, who charges even for carryons now which made it not such a fantastic deal. With my family of 4, airfare is as much (if not more) than the cruise. I feel ya there!

 

But if the budget doesn't allow for the littles to come, then go with your DH and enjoy yourselves :) You've earned it.

[momto2inkc]

I say leave the kids and go have a special trip just the two of you! My husband and I have been married 17 years and our upcoming cruise will be our first vacation we've ever taken without the kids. Our kids are older (13 & 15) and are totally fine with the whole thing. They've had 2 great vacations this past year (Disney World and San Antonio) and we'll be taking another family vacation just a few months after the cruise. My husband and I are quite excited that we're getting a whole week to ourselves.

[hockeyluver]

We loved it! Thought it was a great size, window was nice to have at cheaper than a oceanview. We loved having the balcony right out our door. We had it completely to ourselves most of the time. If given the chance, would totally do another 4J room!! Here are some pics of the room. I have more here

 

 

AWESOME!!! sending you an EHUG**** :D Thanks, I told hubby if we really like the 4J we will book them instead of balcony's for now on. From what i have read sounds like we might. :D

[deanswife1990]

Well, I'm going to be in the minority here but I say go without the kids. Anniversaries are special. Unfortunately not many marriages make it to the 10 year mark.

 

Some of you may consider this selfish but when my daughter was younger, my DH and went away together atleast once a year, had date night once a month. Now that she is older (21), in nursing school (lives at home) and works part time, DH and I go away twice a year. We always do a big family vacation and weekend trips together. For example, DH and DD are flying to Pittsburgh on Saturday for the Steelers game on Sunday. Family time is important and I truly enjoy being with my daughter. But I love being with my husband and it's nice to be able to focus on each other.

 

It's very important that kids see that their parents truly love each other and actually enjoy being together. I think that happy mommies and daddy's make for happy kids.

[rolaur]

We take the kids every time. Just let them know that when mom and dad need a "nap" it's time for them to play with their friends ;-0. Enjoy the best of both worlds!

[Payd]

My DH and I have been on 2 cruises, one in 2004 for our honeymoon, and the other last year just for fun. We are hoping to not wait another 7 years between cruises this time, so we are thinking about going again in about 2 years.

 

My dilemma is this...do we do a fun family vacation with our DSs, currently 4 and 7 years old? Or do we do a romantic 10 year anniversary cruise? My hubby would say to do just us, he thinks i'm crazy for wanting to take our wild children with us on a week-long, expensive vacation. We usually just go camping or day trips to a water park with them... But, I think they are getting old enough to do a longer, bigger vacation. The increased costs are quite daunting, though....

 

For all the parents out there, what would you do?

 

We waited till the kids were in their teens to take them cruising. We still did all the family vacations, but wanted to wait 'till they were older and more independent to cruise with us.

 

We have seen some families really enjoy cruising with their young ones, we have also seen others exhausted by the demands of cruising with kids.

 

The benefit of waiting 'till they are older...they can share a cabin and we get a balcony across the hall. I know some talk about how roomy the cabins are and how easy it is to schedule showers when getting ready for dinner...good for them, it wouldn't work for us. Note: we are pricing a holiday cruise right now, it is less expensive to get an inside and a balcony - than it would be to put all four of us in one balcony cabin...duh.easy choice.

[maplevale]

For your 10 year anniversary I say without kids.

 

DH and I are getting away next month without our kids (14 months and almost 5) - I feel like a good relationship you need time with just the two of you. And while you can take advantage of the camps - there is still A.LOT of time and planning that you need to be right with the kids. We did a family vacation in the spring with my parents and they were amazed how much day to day activities take up with 2 young kids (yours aren't as young luckily!)...... but they more then willingly took our kids so we can get away for a break!

 

And if you love cruising and want to take your kids another time - make the plans for that. Or - if you have an aunt or grandparent that would like to travel maybe you can do a split vacation (4 day cruise with kids and grandparents and then 4 day cruise for the two of you while grandparents take the kids to a resort)

[packedandready]

I'm another one of the "few"...go with just your DH. The best thing you can give your kids is happy parents and a strong marriage. If you decide to take the kids I think he needs to come to that decision on his on. I don't think you need to try to convince him. You don't want him feeling like he's in 3rd place.

[sweetsixteencruisers]

Wow!!! OP here. What great responses! It seems as though most of you say take the boys with. I really would like to, but I do have to convince my DH of it, lol... Unfortunately, we live in Minnesota, so travel fees are about as much as the cruise fees. I wish we could take 2 separate cruises, that would make the decision much easier. But alas, there are no cruise ports within comfortable driving distance :( so its pretty much all or nothing. The other thing is, if we decide to go as a couple, it just means that we would do our next one (probably another 2-3 years down the road) with them. My decision is leaning heavily toward family, but I still have 2 reservations. 1st, $$, which if I knew we were going to do it, we would just have to plan accordingly. 2nd, (and probably most important) My boys are WILD. If the decision were for right now, I would say a H@#L no!! My 4 yr old is crazy and there is no way I would take him on a plane, but I do see him finally starting to grow up (a little). I remember when 7yr DS was 6, we finally exhaled with him and said he is getting better... So, do we cross our fingers for ages 6 and 9, or wait until we are sure at ages 8 and 11. Those are the decisions weighing heavily on my mind, and the choices I have to make!!

 

You are the best judge regarding your kids. It sounds to me that bringing them will not be a romantic time for you and DH or relaxing. In my opinion, I would wait until they are older to take them. So, all of you will enjoy the awesome time you will have on a cruise. I also think, when they are older they will appreciate going on a cruise more then they will now. Good luck with your decision!

 

Happy cruising!

 

~Sweet~

[Cjh1975]

My DH and I have been on 2 cruises, one in 2004 for our honeymoon, and the other last year just for fun. We are hoping to not wait another 7 years between cruises this time, so we are thinking about going again in about 2 years.

 

My dilemma is this...do we do a fun family vacation with our DSs, currently 4 and 7 years old? Or do we do a romantic 10 year anniversary cruise? My hubby would say to do just us, he thinks i'm crazy for wanting to take our wild children with us on a week-long, expensive vacation. We usually just go camping or day trips to a water park with them... But, I think they are getting old enough to do a longer, bigger vacation. The increased costs are quite daunting, though....

 

For all the parents out there, what would you do?

This is just my personal opinion but I don't vacation without my three kids. I feel like if your gonna have kids take them with you. If I wanted to go on vacations without kids then I wouldn't have had kids in the first place. There will be plenty of time for me and hubby to enjoy vacation time alone when the kids are grown and out of the house. But like I said this is just my opinion. By the way we are taking our three on a cruise to celebrate our tenth anniversary next month