Where to put grown son?

[michmike]

as I see all these posts about "get him his own cabin.." I'm struck by the thought that I never received a gift from my parents that exceeded $200 in value (unless you can put a price on instilling the love of reading in all 3 of us kids) and I don't resent that fact.. that's just the way life was for most of us back then.

 

When we got married, the reception was held in the church basement, catered by the ladies aid group, no booze, no dj and afterward my in-laws invited folks out to their place for beer and wine. Her folks gave us a vacuum cleaner for our wedding present and my folks gave us a card table and a set of 4 chairs . The two of us took a honeymoon camping trip to Nova Scotia on about $500 and my gas co credit card. (You haven't lived BTW until you are standing out in the rain, shaking the corn flakes that her brother so kindly provided, out of your sleeping bags).

 

Contrast that to what most weddings involve these days in the belief that kids are OWED something. When our son got married about 7 yrs ago his in-laws hatched this hare-brained plan that we needed to send the kids on a cruise for their honeymoon, (MY first cruise, by contrast, occurred at the age of 53). I fussed and fumed, but finally relented to preserve MY marriage. Then there was the wedding, 500+ (90 from OUR side) and of course open bar, dj, fancy hall, 6 attendants each. And guess what? The kid stayed married for 5 years and is now divorced. His low budget folks will celebrate 40 yrs next August.

 

Maybe it's just hardening of the arteries.... but I can't help but feel we had a world that made more sense back in those days (the Vietnam debacle excepted).

[COLLEYBERRY]

Michmike I enjoyed your post.:)

 

However, the OP stated that her son "has no where to go and nobody to be with"....why this is ,doesn't matter, that is the situation.

 

For this Momma, knowing that my child (don't care how grown they are) would be alone(and apparently unhappy "bad separation") at Christmas, would ruin my cruise anyway.... so best to find a way to include him in our plans...which is what the OP was asking.

Hope they find a solution that results in a fun, restorative, vacation for them all.:)

[Linda&Vern]

Michmike I enjoyed your post.:)

 

However, the OP stated that her son "has no where to go and nobody to be with"....why this is ,doesn't matter, that is the situation.

 

For this Momma, knowing that my child (don't care how grown they are) would be alone(and apparently unhappy "bad separation") at Christmas, would ruin my cruise anyway.... so best to find a way to include him in our plans...which is what the OP was asking.

Hope they find a solution that results in a fun, restorative, vacation for them all.:)

I agree with you 100%. I am always there for my adult kids (especially in "bad" circumstances - which isn't often thankfully). It's a Momma thing.

[vicocala]

I agree with you 100%. I am always there for my adult kids (especially in "bad" circumstances - which isn't often thankfully). It's a Momma thing.

 

Sometimes it's a daddy thing! I am more sympathetic than my wife is. But then, I lived as a bachelor until I was 29.

[Linda&Vern]

Sometimes it's a daddy thing! I am more sympathetic than my wife is. But then, I lived as a bachelor until I was 29.

I didn't mean to exclude you. Let's say it's a Momma/Daddy thing. ;)

[COLLEYBERRY]

Did either of you get a memo when we can be relieved of duty.:D:D

Asked my Mom once " Do you ever stop worrying about your kids" She said "Nope ..and then the grandkids come along ":D:D

[vicocala]

Nope, my memo said you are a parent for life.:eek:

I didn't mean to exclude you. Let's say it's a Momma/Daddy thing. ;)

 

Well, I was a Mr. Mom before they were cool.:cool:

[MR NW GUY]

Wow - What a tough group here...

 

DW and I are also on the same sailing with our (adult) DD.

 

* We are excited to be able to spend the holidays with her.:)

* We are a family and sharing a room really is not an issue.

* yup, we invited her to join us!:D

* if she was traveling with a friend, then they would have a seperate cabin.

 

umm......

 

We will be in an Aft cabin too.

 

This could be a very interesting cruise?:eek:

[nana51]

Michmike I enjoyed your post.:)

 

However, the OP stated that her son "has no where to go and nobody to be with"....why this is ,doesn't matter, that is the situation.

 

For this Momma, knowing that my child (don't care how grown they are) would be alone(and apparently unhappy "bad separation") at Christmas, would ruin my cruise anyway.... so best to find a way to include him in our plans...which is what the OP was asking.

Hope they find a solution that results in a fun, restorative, vacation for them all.:)

I agree. I am kind of shocked and saddened by some of these replies. It is Christmas, he has just gone through an unhappy situation and being alone on Christmas makes it even worse. We don't quit being parents once they grow up. She wasn't asking for advice on how to handle her family problems just what kind of room she should get.

[strummer]

I agree. I am kind of shocked and saddened by some of these replies. It is Christmas, he has just gone through an unhappy situation and being alone on Christmas makes it even worse. We don't quit being parents once they grow up. She wasn't asking for advice on how to handle her family problems just what kind of room she should get.

 

Didn't want to read and run but I agree and am also concerned about people's judgement of the couples son. We do know about the sons situation apart from that he will be alone at Christmas. I'm sure it is the same in the USA but in the UK it is known that Christmas can be a extremely depressing time for people especially if they are on their own - the suicide rate rockets.

To the OP hope that you sort the room out and did they have any availability for your cruise so that he can come with you?

Seasons greeting in advance to all and peace and goodwill to all :)

[solocanadian]

Aqua'sMom: I'd try & get an SY cabin - much roomier. I find the VA's tight for 2. You are good parents to show concern for your grown son. That is exactly how my Mum & Pop were when they were alive - aways caring & concerned no matter how old I was. Hope all works out well for the 3 of you. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.:)

[Typhoon1]

How would having his own cabin enable to make more friends on the ship than he would if he was sharing? :confused::confused:

 

Single supp Peter.

[kazu]

Aqua'sMom: I'd try & get an SY cabin - much roomier. I find the VA's tight for 2. You are good parents to show concern for your grown son. That is exactly how my Mum & Pop were when they were alive - aways caring & concerned no matter how old I was. Hope all works out well for the 3 of you. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.:)

 

I agree - get the SY if you can:)

 

I can actually see both sides to the posts - there comes a time that you can feel you've done as much as you can and there comes a time when parents who have planned a time alone together would like it and I think people sympathized with that:D

 

On the other hand, as much as I may feel that way, if we had the same issue with our son, I know what our answer would be as well and we would be booking an SY or SA - well, truthfully I'd see if I could get him an inside cabin;) In any case I wish the OP a wonderful cruise and blessings to them and their son at this special time:)

[Tampa Girl]

I agree. I am kind of shocked and saddened by some of these replies. It is Christmas, he has just gone through an unhappy situation and being alone on Christmas makes it even worse. We don't quit being parents once they grow up. She wasn't asking for advice on how to handle her family problems just what kind of room she should get.

 

 

"shocked and saddened" - wow! Apparently you are unaware that many people go away so that they don't have to engage in the family dramas during the holidays. I am not saying, let me be clear, that this is the OP's case. But note that the original post was marked with "frowns." OP was clearly less than ecstatic about the possibility of inviting their son along. That doesn't make her any less a loving parent. But parents have their right to their vacations, too. Even if it is Christmas. Particularly if it is Christmas. And before you flame me for being a grinch, I love Christmas. It just depends on with whom I have to share it. So that's my two cents. And for those of you who believe the Christmas spirit trumps everything else, I have a bridge to sell . . .

[Boytjie]

Originally Posted by Boytjie

How would having his own cabin enable to make more friends on the ship than he would if he was sharing? :confused::confused:

 

Single supp Peter.

 

Now I am more confused... what does the single supplement have to do with making friends? :confused::confused:

[arewethereyet]

Drop him off at the Navy recruiting office.

[DFD1]

If he has his own room, maybe he can bring his new friend (s) back for a night cap. Can't do that if he's sharing.

 

Anyway, I hope he has a good cruise, forgets some of his troubles for a while and has a good Christmas.

[Copper10-8]

Drop him off at the Navy recruiting office.

 

Go Navy Beat Army!;)

[innlady1]

Michmike I enjoyed your post.:)

 

However, the OP stated that her son "has no where to go and nobody to be with"....why this is ,doesn't matter, that is the situation.

 

For this Momma, knowing that my child (don't care how grown they are) would be alone(and apparently unhappy "bad separation") at Christmas, would ruin my cruise anyway.... so best to find a way to include him in our plans...which is what the OP was asking.

Hope they find a solution that results in a fun, restorative, vacation for them all.:)

 

I totally agree, Colleyberry.

[innlady1]

as I see all these posts about "get him his own cabin.." I'm struck by the thought that I never received a gift from my parents that exceeded $200 in value (unless you can put a price on instilling the love of reading in all 3 of us kids) and I don't resent that fact.. that's just the way life was for most of us back then.

 

When we got married, the reception was held in the church basement, catered by the ladies aid group, no booze, no dj and afterward my in-laws invited folks out to their place for beer and wine. Her folks gave us a vacuum cleaner for our wedding present and my folks gave us a card table and a set of 4 chairs . The two of us took a honeymoon camping trip to Nova Scotia on about $500 and my gas co credit card. (You haven't lived BTW until you are standing out in the rain, shaking the corn flakes that her brother so kindly provided, out of your sleeping bags).

 

Contrast that to what most weddings involve these days in the belief that kids are OWED something. When our son got married about 7 yrs ago his in-laws hatched this hare-brained plan that we needed to send the kids on a cruise for their honeymoon, (MY first cruise, by contrast, occurred at the age of 53). I fussed and fumed, but finally relented to preserve MY marriage. Then there was the wedding, 500+ (90 from OUR side) and of course open bar, dj, fancy hall, 6 attendants each. And guess what? The kid stayed married for 5 years and is now divorced. His low budget folks will celebrate 40 yrs next August.

 

Maybe it's just hardening of the arteries.... but I can't help but feel we had a world that made more sense back in those days (the Vietnam debacle excepted).

 

Enjoyed your post, michmike! Hmmmm...are you Lutheran by any chance? ;)

[prescottbob]

Drop him off at the Navy recruiting office.

 

...Xmas voyage. Been there, done that.

 

A definitive character builder.

 

Merry Xmas!

 

Bon Voyage & Good Health!

Bob:)

[COLLEYBERRY]

" And for those of you who believe the Christmas spirit trumps everything else, I have a bridge to sell . . .

 

 

...my child alone and unhappy... sorry ,nothing trumps that. Which I think is the situation the OP is facing....she would rather invite him along,as a mother, I totally get her reasoning.Maybe not the cruise she had planned but worrying about her son wasn't the cruise she had planned either. Hope it works out

[Trencita]

I can see both sides of this argument regarding whether or not to make such a big change to a vacation in order to give comfort to a grown child. As a parent, I really hope NOT to give my adult children a sense of entitlement for unnecessary things they cannot afford at this point in their lives. It's hard, because that doesn't seem to be the prevailing view of many parents these days ... but I firmly believe that having to struggle a bit to earn their way is character building.

 

On the other hand, the extenuating circumstances in this case would probably cause me to want to have my son or daughter with me over the holiday. Hopefully, this wouldn't be something that happens over and over - in that case, I might have to harden my resolve, and let him or her solve the problem in the future.

 

Another point - everyone who is recommending an inside cabin --- are you considering the single supplement that will go along with that fare?

[Typhoon1]

 

Now I am more confused... what does the single supplement have to do with making friends? :confused::confused:

 

Use your imagination Peter. :eek:

[COLLEYBERRY]

I can see both sides of this argument regarding whether or not to make such a big change to a vacation in order to give comfort to a grown child. As a parent, I really hope NOT to give my adult children a sense of entitlement for unnecessary things they cannot afford at this point in their lives. It's hard, because that doesn't seem to be the prevailing view of many parents these days ... but I firmly believe that having to struggle a bit to earn their way is character building.

 

On the other hand, the extenuating circumstances in this case would probably cause me to want to have my son or daughter with me over the holiday. Hopefully, this wouldn't be something that happens over and over - in that case, I might have to harden my resolve, and let him or her solve the problem in the future.

 

Another point - everyone who is recommending an inside cabin --- are you considering the single supplement that will go along with that fare?

 

 

 

Well said.:)

 

Bet Holly Petraeus wishes her Momma could whisk her away on a " kiss and make it all better" cruise right about now.;)