9 year old alone on ship

[Aggiebuttercup]

My daughter (8) has significant freedom at home (more than many of the neighbor kids, less than others), which she has earned by proving that she knows what to do in the potential situations she might face.

 

We cruised when she was almost 7. Our friends, with a daughter the same age, were 4 doors down. We allowed the girls to check themselves into the kids' club (stairs were right outside our rooms, kids club was almost directly above us). They had to go together, and they had strict rules to follow (and the first time they went, one of the adults followed discreetly).

 

She'll be 9 when we cruise next, and while I won't allow her to wander around by herself on the ship, I will likely allow her to go off without an adult if she has one of her cousins with her (they'll be 11-13). Even then, she'll have limits about where she can go.

[Aggiebuttercup]

Totally agree with the "age is just a number" post.

 

My middle child will be 7 on our next cruise, and she won't get the freedoms the eldest had at that age...because the middle child LOVES people and will stop and chat with anyone and believe whatever they tell her. She's much more vulnerable, so she has more limits to protect her.

[guxu]

While I did not let my 9-year-old wandering alone on ship, but if you are worried about other thousand+ people many of whom would be pretty drunk at any time of the day, what makes you think a 12-year-old is safe in that environment? How about those 14/15 year old? Are they safe with other thousand+ people many of whom would be pretty drunk at any time of the day?

[My6Dogs]

I don't let my 22 year old daughter roam about the ship without me or her mom close by... lol!

 

Mike

 

 

 

Sent using the Cruise Critic forums app

[Layla and Beaux]

I am a mom of four....I, along with my aunt, took our daughters on a cruise in 2010. My daughter was 15 at the time, and I STILL didn't let her have free reign of the ship. One evening, my aunt and I did allow the three girls to sit in the jacuzzi for a while, while she and I had some coffee in the coffee shop area. That was HUGE for us to allow that. We also let them go to the spa from our room, for pedicures and facials. We met them there after a while. That was it!! I am astonished at how free some CHILDREN are left to be.

 

With that said....we are booked again for a cruise with my aunt and her daughters. This time, my whole family is going...husband and also our three boys. The kids' ages (in July) will be 19, 11, 7, and 23 months (one week shy of being 2). You can bet that none of the three little boys will be out of arms length from one of us adults. No way. We aren't even putting them in the kid's camp...sorry....but me being in the medical field and my aunt, a police lieutenant...we've seen way more than we ever should.

 

We are all about having a great time, and showing the kids a great vacation....but they will do it within our reach. :)

[funtime238]

I think it has to do with reasoning skills. A 9 year old is still concrete sequential in his thought process, while a 14 year old has abstract reasoning. Also, most 9 year olds are in a single classroom that travels together through the day, and are with friends mostly picked by the parent in one way or another. A 14 year old is typically in a schedule where they meet different teachers with different styles, has different classmates with different personalities and different reasoning skills, and, by using these reasoning skills, has made a set of friends with common interests. A 9 year old typically sees the world as the adult nearest them provides it. The 14 year old, with abstract thinking ability, sees the world and makes decisions on his own. A 9 year old hopefully is not nearly as exposed to the world as a 14 year old is. A 14 year old has been educated, at least in school, on many more situations that might arise. Again, being abstract thinkers, 14 year olds can visualize these items as possibilities, where 9 year olds are typically not exposed to situations that would unduly unsettle them.

 

Again, I was not trying to flame any fires, I seriously was just wondering the thought process of the parent of today. I fully understand life is different from the 1970s and early 80s when I raised my children.

[Athankfulheart]

We just sailed again with all 8 of our children. The 7 and 9yo's did not have sign out privileges and neither did the almost 11yo. The 9 and 11yo are very mature for their ages and the 7yo is an average kid. As a consolation for not being able to sign out for the CC scavenger hunt, we allowed our almost 11yo to participate in the all ages hunt with her older siblings. She never had an issue with our decision and we felt that it was a good middle ground. I was ok with her going from point A to B within my range of hearing such as in the buffet. She is a smart little girl, but she is defenseless otherwise and there is no way that I would rely on " the kindness of strangers" to look out for my child aboard ship.

 

Our 13yo had freedom to come and go from Circle C as long as she walked with an older sibling after dark. All are/were forbidden to travel through cabin only decks or to visit cabins with new friends.

 

We checked up on our children many times during the week to see that they were abiding by our rules and all was well. I don't see these rules changing until each turns old enough to move up to Circle C, and even then they will come and go with siblings/parents until we feel that they can hold their own when necessary. In the current case that was 13yo but I reserve the right to raise that if I need to :p

 

For what its worth, even my 13yo doesn't go to the mall alone. We homeschool our children, and don't use any type of daycare. I feel completely confident in the camp carnival staff. They are kind, resourceful and have excellent security measure in place. If my gut feeling ever changes on that, then I will have to recalculate my shipboard protocol.

 

Edited to Add : We cruised last week on the Dream and I saw several children of ages 7-10 walking without parents. Also, at our muster there was a 9 and 11yo sister/brother sitting behind us. They had no idea where their parents were. The staff person who was assigned to our section called a manager who took down the kids info. They found the parents and had the children stay in place until everyone left the theater, at which time the parents were to come and get them. I was a little concerned that they were allowed to roam, but proud of the kids for being exactly where they needed to be and at the appointed time. I was relieved to see how well the staff handled the situation.

Edited January 15, 2014 by Athankfulheart

[goofytoo]

I can't remember what age the kids start the scavenger hunts, but I let my kids under 11 have sign out privileges so they could participate in camp activities only. If they were not participating in camp activities they could not leave the camp without us. They knew this rule and did not take advantage of it.

 

I let them sign themselves in and out when they were around 11. I knew exactly what activities they were participating in and knew when to expect them back. They also had walkie talkies and a whistle.

 

I was very nervous about letting them do this but I knew they were responsible and I wanted them to develop a sense of independence.

 

By the way and I am 50 years old. When we were kids we left the house after breakfast and did not have to be home until the street lights turned on. The same rule applied to all of the kids in our neighborhood. We went everywhere. We always thought there was something wrong with parents that worried when they did not know where their kids were.

 

By the way, times haven't changed that much. We just have access to more information than we used to.

[MichelleChell]

I think it also has to do with the child. I let my almost 10yr old sign herself out and had strict rules in place. She did great. Others are right age is just a number. Its more about that child. Mine may be 10 but she is more mature then some adults I have seen on a ship. Also a lot of the activities are around the ship. If they can't sign out they are stuck in the room looking like a baby.

I think some get offended by the decision because who are you to judge the parenting style.

 

So because I let my daughter have sign in and out ability I am a bad parent?

[MichelleChell]

I think it has to do with reasoning skills. A 9 year old is still concrete sequential in his thought process, while a 14 year old has abstract reasoning. Also, most 9 year olds are in a single classroom that travels together through the day, and are with friends mostly picked by the parent in one way or another. A 14 year old is typically in a schedule where they meet different teachers with different styles, has different classmates with different personalities and different reasoning skills, and, by using these reasoning skills, has made a set of friends with common interests. A 9 year old typically sees the world as the adult nearest them provides it. The 14 year old, with abstract thinking ability, sees the world and makes decisions on his own. A 9 year old hopefully is not nearly as exposed to the world as a 14 year old is. A 14 year old has been educated, at least in school, on many more situations that might arise. Again, being abstract thinkers, 14 year olds can visualize these items as possibilities, where 9 year olds are typically not exposed to situations that would unduly unsettle them.

 

Again, I was not trying to flame any fires, I seriously was just wondering the thought process of the parent of today. I fully understand life is different from the 1970s and early 80s when I raised my children.

 

Most school systems now are having kids do the class switching in 4th and 5th grade now. They get everything you are talking about but younger. So I think it really has to depend on how that child is maturity wise.

[kazbar]

my children walk themselves to and from school everyday. One has just turned 7 and the other two are almost 9. They have been doing it for around 6 months.

But, I wouldn't allow it on a cruise ship because it is a different environment, with lots of distractions, often confusing layouts, and people doing things that they are not likely to see in our quiet suburban street.

[kristie64063]

No, you're not old fashion, we have a new generation of adults who think that school teachers should do the parenting (it takes a village to raise a child). Fact is that parents who let their children run around unsupervised is asking for trouble. Pedophiles cruise, it's a gold mine for them. Kids getting in with the wrong group and end up drunk is another problem. IMHO a ship is a scary place to let your kid roam around unsupervised. I posted on another thread that no way would I take a kid on a cruise until they were teenagers - and even then my hand would be on their neck the whole time. Not fun at all.

 

This view is a little extreme. I went on a cruise with my son and I, and another couple and their daughter. My son LOVED it. He was 12, and I'd never let him run around alone, but also, it didn't feel like prison either to him. He had a blast and can't wait to go back. Just like any place / situation in life, if you are doing your job as a parent, keeping them in tabs when they need to be / at the appropriate ages, all will go well. My son is now 15 and we're going on a cruise in July, and he can't wait. I'll be nervous, but probably let him have a little more freedom this time around.

[Lovely169]

I am a 37 year old mother. My daughter is 10 years old. We're sailing on the Valor during Spring break. She'll be 11 years old next month. She still will not be able to sign herself out of Camp Carnival. On top of that she's developing. There's no way I would allow her to roam the ship alone. You have men that will be there on vacation, drunk, could be pedophiles just sitting around lurking. Sorry, not my kid!!!

[ladythaij]

I've seen nine year old children I'd allow, and then I've seen thirteen year old children I'd never allow.

 

 

 

Age is a number that doesn't define a person.

 

 

yes! yes! yes!! so true!!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ladythaij]

While I did not let my 9-year-old wandering alone on ship, but if you are worried about other thousand+ people many of whom would be pretty drunk at any time of the day, what makes you think a 12-year-old is safe in that environment? How about those 14/15 year old? Are they safe with other thousand+ people many of whom would be pretty drunk at any time of the day?

 

 

 

another good point!

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ladythaij]

I think it also has to do with the child. I let my almost 10yr old sign herself out and had strict rules in place. She did great. Others are right age is just a number. Its more about that child. Mine may be 10 but she is more mature then some adults I have seen on a ship. Also a lot of the activities are around the ship. If they can't sign out they are stuck in the room looking like a baby.

I think some get offended by the decision because who are you to judge the parenting style.

 

So because I let my daughter have sign in and out ability I am a bad parent?

 

 

 

right!! we all grew up differently and we will parent differently. what make work or one will not work for the other.

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[cmdknw]

We allowed our 9 year old to go back to the room to grab something before a show last time. He was gone *maybe* 10 minutes. He is mature for his age and knew to go straight to the room and come straight back...we didn't allow this until day 5 of a 7 day cruise and it was a special circumstance. Typically he is with us...other than that, the only time he is alone is to go from the pool to get food where we can generally see him.

[Handsome58]

Some of you are missing the big picture. This is not a debate about who can parent better or whom's child is more mature for their age. It is about the safety of a child being allowed to make an adult desicion to sign out of a supervised area to walk around a ship that is a place that has the same worldly crimes that happen on shore. Remember this is not the school bell ringing and all the kids are leaving at the same time. The child will be on their own. I can see wanting to foster independence in one's child but this is not the time or place. There are sick people taking the cruise and sick people working on the cruise [no where near all but it is possible some are]. You will do what you think is best BUT PLEASE ONCE THE CRIME IS COMMITED YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK.

[markntara]

We like us some alone time, so we usually give our 9 and 11 year old sons a bag a marbles to use when they are roaming around. I tell them to go to top of atrium and throw them at people on the bottom level.

 

In the past I would lock them heathens out on the balcony, pull the curtains together, but they kept trying to balance themselves on the hand rails.

[Lovely169]

Cracking up!!!

[Lovely169]

I can see wanting to foster independence in one's child but this is not the time or place. There are sick people taking the cruise and sick people working on the cruise [no where near all but it is possible some are]. You will do what you think is best BUT PLEASE ONCE THE CRIME IS COMMITED YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK.

 

 

Handsome58, I totally agree.

[Andoria]

Some of you are missing the big picture. This is not a debate about who can parent better or whom's child is more mature for their age. It is about the safety of a child being allowed to make an adult desicion to sign out of a supervised area to walk around a ship that is a place that has the same worldly crimes that happen on shore. Remember this is not the school bell ringing and all the kids are leaving at the same time. The child will be on their own. I can see wanting to foster independence in one's child but this is not the time or place. There are sick people taking the cruise and sick people working on the cruise [no where near all but it is possible some are]. You will do what you think is best BUT PLEASE ONCE THE CRIME IS COMMITED YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK.

 

There are sick people everywhere. Trust me I'd like to shove my kid in a bubble and protect him for as long as I live but he'd keep breaking out of it.

 

We didn't cruise when my son was 9 but he was walking 3/4th of a mile to school every day on his own and hanging around town. I'm sure he encountered creeps on his travels but he was smart enough to stay away.

 

Statistically speaking it is a family member or friend of the family that is most likely to hurt a child.

Edited January 15, 2014 by Andoria

[ThirstyFrog203]

I'm 35 now. when i was 9 it would be probably be acceptable and i would of loved exploring on my own, but with the psycho's of today wandering around, no i would not let my child go off alone. If it was a group of kids, say 3 or 4. Then i'd allow it, with strict rules of course but would want them to have those great memories of being parent free and exploring.

[mommyjnny]

We were on the paradise last week and noticed many kids walking around without their parents. Swimming. Etc alone....

My oldest is 10 and we didn't allow her to sign herself out of camp or wander without us at all. My husband and I couldn't understand the kids walking alone either.

Yes kids need to learn independence but things are also not the same as they were 30 years ago..... Call me overprotective but I would rather be safe than sorry..... I am the same way at home. Backyard only.....my kids don't wander the neighborhood alone.

Edited January 15, 2014 by mommyjnny

[Handsome58]

It is not what your son may do or know to stear clear of, but the monsters ARE GROWN MEN, bigger, stronger and THEY SNATCH KIDS no matter what we teach them. I am talking about on the ship. My son knows where to punch, been taught to scream etc but if a monster wants to grab him and no one is around I do not think a 8/9/10 year old is winning that battle. That is why I am saying ON THE SHIP IT IS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY!