Do you want to be informed of bad news while on a cruise?

[flagger]

When you are on a cruise, would you want to be informed of bad news or wait until you get home?

 

For me, I do not want to know either a death, a serious injury, a housefire or even a terrorist attack while I am on a cruise. I have been on vacation and had to cut it short when a family member died. Never again.

 

The dead will still be dead when I get back, the doctor's are much better at healing than I am, and the house will have still been burned. Let the show or in this case the vacation go on, I say.

[hdawson]

I definitely feel different. If there is a fire in my home I want to get back as soon as possible to take the required steps to protect whatever was not destroyed. I would think that if a close family member became seriously ill, parent, child or grand child, my presence might just be comforting for them.

And if someone died, I would not inconvenience the rest of the family making them wait for my return to make arrangements.

[BobbyK]

My dad was seriously ill for a few years. For each cruise I talked with my TA about the what ifs. This is what we chose. Relatives had her phone number and would contact her. She in turn would contact us on the ship. I was always relieved to get off the ship and not hear from anyone.

Robin :cool:

[jobinhume]

I definitely feel different. If there is a fire in my home I want to get back as soon as possible to take the required steps to protect whatever was not destroyed. I would think that if a close family member became seriously ill, parent, child or grand child, my presence might just be comforting for them.

And if someone died, I would not inconvenience the rest of the family making them wait for my return to make arrangements.

 

Now, it depends on who - if it was a distant relative or casual acquaintance, that is one thing....but I am trying to imagine my mother or one of my sisters being sick and not wanting to know what was happenning.

 

I guess everyone deals with stress in their own way, but I can always take another cruise - nothing substitutes for being there for your family.

[nu2sea]

Wow, I find myself in agreement with everybody. (Must be the heat!)

 

There is something about a cruise vacation that makes it seem like a fantasy, one where everything goes right. At least, ours was like that. We felt truly separated from the real world and loved that sensation. I would hate for anything to intrude on that and destroy the illusion. Especially if there was no way I could use the knowledge to change anything.

 

On the other hand, I agree with hdawson. If my presence could help someone, or my absence hurt someone, then yes, I would want to know.

 

But all the same, I would hate to lose the dream....

[hermang]

Many years ago ( a few thousand I think) on the day we were married,

my 94 yr old grand mother passed on. She was in NY and we were married in Ohio. No one called my dad or us for two reasons - one they did not want to spoil the wedding and we were told that in the Jewish faith that it was permissable to have a wedding even under those circumstances.

 

When we arrived home from our honeymoon a week later grandma was already buried. They did hold the funeral up for a day so dad could get back.

 

Unless it was the death of an immediate family member - I would not want to know - nothing I could do anyhow.

[Cruise Junky]

It's funny, when I first read this topic, I started to think long and hard about it...then it occured me to me...when was the last time we ever left a contact number when we go on vacation? NEVER! I think we've subconsciously made up our minds.

[brigittetom]

We have only left a contact number the last few years after my mom had a stroke. We did receive a call after the first leg of a b/b in Ft. Lauderdale. My mom had fallen and had to have hip surgery. By the time we got the call, she was doing well and recovering. After much soul searching we decided to take the next cruise and spend time with her on our way home. We couldn't even get thru to her at the rehab center because she checked the box that said no information is allowed to be given out and no one could contact her.

 

I always call our vet before a cruise to let them know the pets will be brought in by a pet sitter and give them carte blanche within reason. The pet sitter know's that we don't want to hear about anything that we can't solve by coming home.

[dkjretired]

Disregard

[mahdnc]

Reminds me of the old Cat's-On-The-Roof joke:

 

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on a cruise. His brother calls him in the middle of the trip to let him know that the cat died.

 

When the man came home, he admonished his brother: "You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. You could have first told me that the cat got out and was on the roof and wouldn't come down. The next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then the third day, you could have said he had passed away."

 

The brother thought about it and apologized.

 

So on the next vacation the same man goes on another cruise. His brother this time calls him and announces, "Mom's on the roof".............

[chrismch]

I was on a cruise on "9/11". We just tendered in Catalina. I went to the gym to work out and saw the news of billowing smoke from a building but since the sound was off, I didn't connect it to a terrorist attack. I met with a personal trainer who then told me what had happened. The whole ship was in shock as we didn't know what or where we were going. The port of Los Angeles was closed and no one knew if we would be continuing to Mexico. It was truly odd. You're on vacation and you want to have fun but you feel guilty about it because of the national crisis. Of course it was the main topic whenever anybody met and we turned on the news everytime we returned to our stateroom for updates. However, one of the most touching things that happened either that night or the next was that after dinner the waiters and staff sang "God bless America." I think everyone was teary eyed and speechless for a minute before we all applauded our staff who felt our grief and pain. Returning back home at port of San Pedro was a madhouse with everybody trying to get some sort of ride as the airport was still shut down. It was truly eerie to see no planes in the sky where there were always several coming and going...I still watch news and read papers when I vacation, because I want to know what I'm coming home to. I also want to know sad news from family who always know when I'm away - but who also know we will probably not cut short a vacation nor do we expect them to cut short their time away. And we have delayed funerals for family members who were away so that we could share all our grief together.

[Ericknow32]

Reminds me of the old Cat's-On-The-Roof joke:

 

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on a cruise. His brother calls him in the middle of the trip to let him know that the cat died.

 

When the man came home, he admonished his brother: "You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. You could have first told me that the cat got out and was on the roof and wouldn't come down. The next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then the third day, you could have said he had passed away."

 

The brother thought about it and apologized.

 

So on the next vacation the same man goes on another cruise. His brother this time calls him and announces, "Mom's on the roof".............

I am very ashamed to say that I found that joke funny. That's some dark humor you've got there.:eek:

[Maureenie Beanie]

I was on the Zenith in Hamilton on 9/11/01when the NY attack happened. While in my room after breakfast actually saw 2 2nd plane hit. Yes I did want to know all the details and yes if there were a death in my family I would want to know that also.

[AFT_LOVER]

but out petsitter where we are & even she doesn't know ship's name. Our fathers & mothers are dead, so that leave my BIL & 2 nieces as close relatives and they are usually on the cruise with us.

 

We get home after the past 3 cruises to a voicemail telling us one of my husband's uncles died, but so what since we have never seen him since a family reunion that they rented Public Hall in Cleveland for back in 1992. He had no idea who we were, so no big deal.

[Happy ks]

It all depends on timing and location. If we are in the middle of a 7 day cruise, we probably cannot make it back home much sooner than the original plans. So, I would have to say that I would be comfortable receiving the news upon our return home.

 

But, that's easy for me to say, all of our parents are already gone and we usually have our kids with us. Everyones situation is different, some people want to know bad news right away, I can wait if I have to.

 

We reciprocate with neighbors for taking care of mail, newspapers, feeding pets etc., and always leave emergency info. We also have an understanding not to use those emergency numbers unless it is a dire emergency. I once had an experience taking care of someones house when they had a pipe burst, flooding the house. Since they had left no emergency info, we were left to make choices for them. It was very difficult not having insurance info, we ended up having to go through their personal files, I was very uncomfortable with this.

 

So, more important than your emergency contact number, leave the name of your agent, the policy number of your insurance and instructions how to handle something like a flood. That and, don't do your own plumbing repairs, it can cost a whole lot more in the long run!

[LindaM]

25 years ago, my mom flew to Hawaii. My grandmother (her mother) died unexpectedly. I called the airport, mom got the news upon arrival, and immediately booked a flight back home.

 

In retrospect, I really feel she should have stayed in Hawaii ( if she chose to). There was no reason to cut her vacation short, particularly since it is so uncomfortable to fly 12 hours!! Her mother was old, lived a full life, and died a peaceful death. The funeral could have been postponed.

 

My mom will be cremated immediately upon her death. I told my sister that I wouldn't be returning until the cruise was over, if mom died. Death is a fact of life. What point would it serve to return home?

[TechKnowBabble]

On our frist cruise my grandmother had been struggling with her health for a while (on dialysis, etc) My aunt told me that she would NOT contact us if anything happened because there would be nothing we could do and it would ruin our vacation. Thankfully nothing happened during the cruise, although she passed away Sept 2004. However when we did land back in Maryland there was a message on my cell phone to call my boyfriend's mother. A distant relative of his passed away that day. I agree with not wanting to know...personally if we were out to sea or whatever we probably couldn't afford to get tickets to fly home right away.

[hdawson]

TechKnow. If you had travel insurance and it was a close family member, the additional cost of getting home would be reimbursed. I just can't imagine being on vacation and my Mom, daughter or grand child was dieing or very seriously ill or injured and not going to be with them as quickly as possible.

To me it seems very selfish to put my fun ahead of their comfort.

[pamkev]

This is a very good question. I know if it was our parents or children or grandchildren I would be off the ship in a heartbeat. Anything else not going to happen. I was called away once from a vaction over something I had no control over and no one was dying and now I tell them don't call me unless it's a really extreme situation Pam

[flagger]

My feelings come from having experienced it first hand and my feeling about life and death in general. My father hated funerals and only felt they were for the living. My father's spirit remains with me to this day. Being at a ceremony only for the living is not necessary for me to celebrate life. I also understand that everyone grieves differently than I and I respect that. My feelings are that the show, the cruise, the vacation must go on and to live life like it is your or the people you are close to's last day on earth.

[DaisyL]

On one of the 1st cruises my parents were on many years ago, there was a couple who was informed that their house had burned down. The couple had to wait several days to reach port so they could travel home. My mom recalls how they would run into the couple on board ship and how visibly upset the woman was, sobbing in the theatre, etc.

 

At that point my parents made the decision to not let them know if the house burns down. We all leave contact info with each other before going on vacation, but always add "don't call us if the house burns down'.... Everything else (I guess even the house burning down), we just have to use our judgement at the time.

[ParrotHead4Life]

This past January, we were on day 6 of our 7 day Western Caribbean cruise. I went out on deck as we were pulling in to Key West and for some reason decided to give my parents a ring to say hi. I was told then that my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

 

To this day I'm still torn on whether it would have been better to wait to get the news. Yes it put a damper on our day in Key West and our last night on board, but I already felt guilty enough being away and not getting to know about it sooner. Part of me wished they would have reached me at sea when they originally found out.

[karen_cpa]

Good question!!

 

Personally, I would not want to know. Like flagger said in the original post, there is not much we can do to change it, and the person affected would not have wanted us to change our plans.

 

Two weeks before I got married, my father was diagnosed with prostrate cancer. The only people who knew were my parents, one uncle and my aunt who is a hospital adminstrator. They didn't want to tell anyone else for fear it would take away from the wedding. The day we came home from our honeymoon, I called my mom from LAX and could tell from her tone something was wrong. My mom finally told me. And the kicker - my father had scheduled his surgery for the day after we came back from our honeymoon because he wanted us home, but didn't want to interfere with our plans!!

[MISSYLOU]

I don't want bad news while on a cruise. Last April on a cruise to Lisbon, I emailed our son to let him know we were okay. Couldn't call him. His reply email told me he had been in an accident, and one of his three children had been hurt but was okay now and the car was totalled. I was relieved to know granddaughter was okay but I worried about her and son's transportation until we got back home. Told him don't tell me anymore bad news and never emailed again while we were out of town.

 

My bottom line would be if one of my kids or grandkids were critically ill, I would come home.(DH would be with me ofcourse) But they don't need to bother emailing or calling to tell me the house burned down or that someone broke their arm.

[Druke I]

Put me on the "no" side of the register.

 

Little I can do to change what has already transpired.