Cruising with an autistic child

[kitten3008]

Hey everyone! First of all, I am sure this post will end up with people making a ton of "special snowflake" comments and that's fine, I have a thick skin. :)

 

My question is, does anyone have any experience dealing with NCL's accessabilities department in regards to sailing with autistic children? Specifically, my 8 year old son struggles with noise and crowds in general. Why take him on a cruise, you ask? Because he is 8 years old, and he deserves a vacation, and because ultimately, while on the ship, I have a lot of control on whether or not to take him certain places at certain times. A cruise is perfect, because so much is included in the fare. I'm not paying a ton of money to go see a show that it turns out he's having a bad day and can't handle, we can just choose to leave if something becomes too much for him.

 

I am not requesting any sort of preferential treatment during the duration of the cruise, my curiosity runs toward embarkation. I have seen the occasional post about early boarding for special needs, and the occasional inclusion of individuals with autism being included on that list. I am obviously going to call NCL and speak with them on this topic, but I was wondering if anyone had personal experience with this. Thanks!

[ZandZ]

My son is turning 11 next week and it took me a long time to stop trying to make justifications for what people perceive as poor parenting... People are clueless! I don't have any experience with NCL but I really liked what you said so I wanted to say hi... :rolleyes:

 

I just called a certain Florida park to find out if accommodations are offered for the same scenario you describe - I was told they are not allowed to ask health questions or discuss specifics, we are just to come up to customer service and to say that we need accommodations. I assume its the same on a cruise line since it has to do with HIPA....

[Proud Grandparents]

As a retired educator I have worked with a number of students on the spectrum. I would contact NCL with regards to boarding but my gut is that I would board later rather than early as the lines/wait are much shorter. If you can I would also suggest a balcony as your son might like sitting on the balcony which can be very relaxing. Meals will be a major problem...frankly I would try to stay away from the buffet because of the number of people at any given time. Room service would be an option for breakfast and lunch and request a table for two in the dining room for dinners. Hope things work out well for both of you.

[maywell]

Do what others are saying with calling to NCL to accommodate you. And while at, buy your child noise-canceling headphones that play his favorite much because even when the public areas are not crowded, there's still loud music playing through the speakers and your child may not like volume, the tone, or type of it.

 

Sent from my SGH-T399 using Tapatalk

[rydan]

You should never have to explain why you want to take a vacation.

 

Although I do not have personal experience with autism. I feel for you as a parent.

 

What I do know, is that depending when you go will greatly impact the crowds and noise levels. Also, if your son likes his space. You will find many areas onboard that should suit his needs. Especially the back (Aft) of the ship. Watching the ships wake is incredibly calming.

 

There are also groups that specifically cater to those with autism. Although I can't post it here as advertisements are not allowed to be posted. However, if you do a search for autistic friendly cruises you should find it.

 

Also Royal Caribbean has a program dedicated for Autism. Link below

http://www.royalcaribbean.com/findacruise/experiencetypes/product.do?pagename=onboard_prod_autism_friendly_ships

 

I wish you nothing but a pleasant journeys and safe travels[emoji3]

Oh, If anyone questions you, SCREW THEM!.

[kjquilts]

Here is link to NCL information re Accessible Cruising

 

http://www.ncl.com/about/accessible-cruising

[floridacruiser2014]

Having an autistic child ourselves, I applaud you for this. It can be tough, but definitely worth it. You are so right, they deserve a vacation too. We have taken two with our son who is 15. I can understand where you're coming from. Last year, while waiting to embark, we had everything in hand or in a backpack that we thought he would need. The noise canceling headphones help too. Going on RCL next month which have autism friendly cruises. Going on NCL in January. I will be contacting their Special Needs Department as well. Thank you for your post. I will enjoy reading how things turn out!

[rvsullivan]

Speaking to boarding. Depending on the port, special needs/handicap may get some priority but it will be after Suites/VIP's. More than likely you would be within the first 5 groups. But, that is not necessarily a good thing. To be in that group you need to be there early and that means crowds, sometimes huge crowds. And noisy. With noise and crowd issues I would certainly consider a late arrival, maybe 1:30 or 2 pm. Fewer people and no crowds normally.

Last year in New Orleans they put all special needs/handicap in one corner at the front of the boarding area and held them from about 9:30 until 11:30. After Suites/VIP's they were boarded. The noise and crowds were huge. By 2 pm arriving people were walking straight on after check in with no wait.

[kitten3008]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and ideas! You really have no idea how much it is appreciated. My son is a brilliant, sweet kid and he is SO excited about his first "big" vacation.

 

My husband and I have sailed in an aft facing balcony, and while I loved it, a balcony with my monkey child seems like a terrifying idea. He tries to climb out of ferris wheels, lol! I'm not too worried about meals as he LOVES going out to eat and we can avoid the buffet during peak times, no problem! ZandZ made an interesting point about HIPAA, which makes me want to do a little digging. Lord knows I am tired of explaining to nasty strangers that while my 8 year old is the size of a 12 year old, he functions like a 4 year old :P

 

Later boarding is certainly an option, and not one that is completely off the table. My husband is pretty dead set on boarding as early as possible - obviously DS comes first but still, lol - as in his opinion, we paid for that day and should start enjoying it as early as possible. ;)

 

ZandZ - I think it's awful that anyone should have to justify how they parent to anyone else, but it's definitely a nasty habit of mine. So many people have an idea in their head of what autism is, and think they know exactly what I'm doing wrong, lol. My kiddo is most looking forward to going to a comedy show (despite my dislike of Second City, ha!), because his dream right now is to "be a professional joke teller and make all the sad people smile again". I must not be doing everything wrong!

 

Also! Thank you for for the info on the Florida park; that's something I've wondered about in the past!

[ZandZ]

<3 thank you for sharing!!! He sounds like a great kid to have around :) funny thing is, mine is called Monkey Boy too. I just booked a cruise that I will be taking the kids on (for the first time) and the cost for a balcony was in my budget but I didn't do it.

 

I spent YEARS staying away from places, activities and most people. I make no apologies anymore. Monkey Boy is almost as tall as me, wears a shoe size larger than me and people take take their expectations and keep walking. As long as he is no burden on them, its non of their business.

[RIvacationgirl]

As a nurse and a teacher, I often say to my DH that cruising can be a wonderful option for vacationers with individual special needs. You can choose to enjoy shipboard activities, or if you are having a particularly challenging day, just hang out in your room and relax. No need to answer to anyone's schedule but your own- which is NO SCHEDULE! You have already paid for the trip and know that you are not losing any money on not participating in shows, events...

I wish you a wonderful vacation for you and your family.

[Charlie4]

I too have an autistic boy, I would not let near the Balcony ! We have gone to Disney every other year for 20 years, as that is the only place HE wants to go. It is so much easier when they WANT to go.

 

I am disabled with a walker. Sometimes I 'fly' through the lines. Sometimes I follow the Suite people up the Gang plank, so I can walk slowly and no one crowds me. I then head to the MDR, where it is quiet and cool and have a nice lunch with out the crowds.

[wildwanderer]

Kitten,

I am not certain where you are sailing or what boat so my advice may not work. We were concerned about balcony and ended up getting the Family suite on Dawn with floor to ceiling windows. It was a little more then a mini suite money wise but I travel with a 3 and 5 year old monkey team. The extra space, no balcony(but still a great view) and suite benefits are perfect my 5 year old up until recently was non verbal and so it has been a challenge. The suite works best for us as we can get our food delivered if everyone is not up to dinner. We will have priority boarding which should help with the crowds. Also the suite dining room for lunch and breakfast will prevent having to brave the buffet. Last cruise we had a balcony I asked all the furniture be removed and the rule was we sat on floor when on balcony. I also brought a small door alarm in case someone got adventurous. I will say the staff last time in the buffet was amazing. One of the attendants adopted us, knew the kids names, and really helped us juggle the kids every night. We ate buffet almost every meal and it worked out great.

Good luck and as you probably already know stay flexible and have a great vacation.

Take care-Thea

Edited August 21, 2015 by wildwanderer

[Budget Queen]

 

Later boarding is certainly an option, and not one that is completely off the table. My husband is pretty dead set on boarding as early as possible - obviously DS comes first but still, lol - as in his opinion, we paid for that day and should start enjoying it as early as possible. ;)

 

 

Being realistic about this, there ARE going to be waits involved with this thinking. I've seen people, already lining up when I'm getting off ships (I cruised 17 times last year- EVERY cruise). There is no way to know when the boarding will open up, and when it does, there ARE going to be crowds= everywhere- yep in the priority lines, "special needs" (which can have massive amounts of people. So, with your disclosure of noise and crowds being stressful points- I don't think- giving a priority to getting on the ship "early" is an overall good one, no matter the reason. Looking at boarding in the afternoon 2- 2.5 hours before sailing (again in my experience) often has a more nonstressful pace and shorter lines.

 

IF you want exceptions- and the ability to get in the special needs lines- you are going to have to do some "explaining", and disclosing. Sorry, but there are people who try to use these lines to their advantage, so I never dispute the additional "screening" for people who truly need it. (think of the wheel chair rentals for the preferences without medical need)

 

Good luck- I travel with other medical limits, so do have a lot of experience with alternative adaptations, necessary for our travel- traveled about half the year last year. :)

Edited August 21, 2015 by Budget Queen

[flatcircle]

kitten3008

I'm an OT who works with kids on the autism spectrum. So, the first thing that I would suggest is if your child is see by an OT, discuss the upcoming cruise with her/him. You probably also need to consider how you are going to handle the muster drill.

Concerning check-in: One suggestion that I give my parents is to consider boarding after you know you will be able to access your cabin. No matter how well you plan the check-in, the noises/decorations/people can be overwhelming sensory-wise. This would give you private space as soon as you board (if needed) & buffet food could be carried back to the room.

Also, consider having your child wear a backpack while going through the check-in process. The increased weight can be calming (kind of like a walking hug). Your OT can help you determine the ideal weight for the pack.

Hope you have a wonderful cruise.

[gluecksbaer]

We had a wide double-stroller with young children and were told by an NCL representative to board with the priority boarding. I was basically cut off and edged out of the line by a different NCL rep pushing a wheelchair and then pushed out of the way by the family behind it. I kept trying to get back in line as we were uncomfortably jostled by the crowd that was waiting to board and had barely made space for the priority boarding "line". And I use the term line here very loosely as "disorganized crowd" would probably better describe it. I basically had to push my way back in and ended up in the middle of a family (which part of the problem was that I was trying not to push my way into the middle of a family but people would rush ahead of me like they were trying to catch up and I would pause and then they would stop and wait for 3 people behind them).

 

I don't know that's it's always loud and crowded and frustrating like that. But if that kind of jostling in a crowd will ruin your son's day, then unless they can get you into the VIP boarding and not just handicapped type priority boarding, then your husband probably needs to consider enjoying the just afternoon on the ship or possibly none of the day at all.

 

 

I just called a certain Florida park to find out if accommodations are offered for the same scenario you describe - I was told they are not allowed to ask health questions or discuss specifics, we are just to come up to customer service and to say that we need accommodations. I assume its the same on a cruise line since it has to do with HIPA....

 

Having searched a lot on disability access (for an entirely different reason) to that parks California beginnings but finding mostly Florida stuff, I will say that mentioning a diagnosis does seem to help even though they cannot ask and it's not required. And my understanding is they can ask for details about what accommodation is needed but not for details on a specific health condition. And they only need enough info to determine which accommodation is best. (So for example if someone says they can't wait in line they can try to determine what the issue is. If you physical can't wait in line, then the accommodation is to use a wheelchair. If you can't handle enclosed spaces then they have a different accommodation. But they can't say, "Oh are you claustrophobic, or do you have PTSD, or . . . " But they can ask enough to know that the problem is enclosed spaces and not difficulty standing.)

[Shawnino]

Hey everyone! First of all, I am sure this post will end up with people making a ton of "special snowflake" comments and that's fine, I have a thick skin. :)

 

My question is, does anyone have any experience dealing with NCL's accessabilities department in regards to sailing with autistic children? Specifically, my 8 year old son struggles with noise and crowds in general. Why take him on a cruise, you ask? Because he is 8 years old, and he deserves a vacation, and because ultimately, while on the ship, I have a lot of control on whether or not to take him certain places at certain times. A cruise is perfect, because so much is included in the fare. I'm not paying a ton of money to go see a show that it turns out he's having a bad day and can't handle, we can just choose to leave if something becomes too much for him.

 

I am not requesting any sort of preferential treatment during the duration of the cruise, my curiosity runs toward embarkation. I have seen the occasional post about early boarding for special needs, and the occasional inclusion of individuals with autism being included on that list. I am obviously going to call NCL and speak with them on this topic, but I was wondering if anyone had personal experience with this. Thanks!

 

There was a family with an autistic boy down the hall from us on the Jade. He took a special curiosity in me as I walk with a very heavy limp and one of my hands in extremely deformed. He happened to be a very expressive child in his own way. Notes, knowing that every child and every cruise is different:

 

--Embarkation was prearranged via the accessibility desk

--On port days they could choose to leave the ship first if they wanted to

--Meals had not been a problem; they happened to choose early dining times which were pretty quiet

--He enjoyed being out on deck. They had a balcony cabin and his mom said that whenever they were in the room, he seemed to be on the balcony

--The performances in the theatre were judged to be too much for him, BUT NCL scheduled quiet backstage time with a couple performers

--He was given a course in making towel animals

 

It was his parents' estimation that he was well taken care of.

[SuiteCruiser]

Hey everyone! First of all, I am sure this post will end up with people making a ton of "special snowflake" comments and that's fine, I have a thick skin. :)

 

My question is, does anyone have any experience dealing with NCL's accessabilities department in regards to sailing with autistic children? Specifically, my 8 year old son struggles with noise and crowds in general. Why take him on a cruise, you ask? Because he is 8 years old, and he deserves a vacation, and because ultimately, while on the ship, I have a lot of control on whether or not to take him certain places at certain times. A cruise is perfect, because so much is included in the fare. I'm not paying a ton of money to go see a show that it turns out he's having a bad day and can't handle, we can just choose to leave if something becomes too much for him.

 

I am not requesting any sort of preferential treatment during the duration of the cruise, my curiosity runs toward embarkation. I have seen the occasional post about early boarding for special needs, and the occasional inclusion of individuals with autism being included on that list. I am obviously going to call NCL and speak with them on this topic, but I was wondering if anyone had personal experience with this. Thanks!

 

As a Mom of an autistic child you know that there are wide variations on the spectrum and really only you know what works for your monkey. I love that you referred to him that way as our kids have always been the monkeys, even though they are now 17. One of my twins is on the spectrum, the other is not.

 

We took our kids on their first cruise when they were 7, and there were some challenges, but it was mostly positive. When the noise was too much, we would head back to the cabin for some quiet time, this is when I started cruising in suites.

 

Every year after that we cruised and the older the kids got, the more freedom they had, so this helped tremendously. Not being stuck at kids club when it was fun for the first bit, then the noise became an issue was great, because we had a phone that worked on the ship and could run down and bring one or both back to the cabin. Once they could sign themselves out, it improved even more and now our one son may spend more time happily being in the cabin watching a movie and the other out and about socializing, it's a really great vacation for everyone.

 

All this rambling to say, that cruising can be a great vacation that will grow with your son, it very well may just continue to get better and better for him.

Edited August 21, 2015 by SuiteCruiser

[Jane Don]

I was going to suggest the balcony-less suites too. I think maybe on the Star as well. If you can swing the increase in budget, you get the advantage of in-suite meals including specialty. That could be a great break from the headache of hoping for a good day at the restaurant.

[Charlie4]

As I said I am a Mom of an autistic Man too. I can not believe he is 23 ! He has a twin also who is 'typical' what every that means. I have never heard the term "special snowflake"??

 

When Bill was little he would bite people in line, so when we visited the Mouse in Florida, we went straight to the head of the line. Then he stopped biting, and the noise was a factor, so on went the head phones, and we got in the short line. Now he sings and 'talks' to everyone in line, so we just wait like everyone else. These types of things might help you with NCL, as to how much help you need with boarding.

[pretykym]

As a mother of an autistic child I can tell you what we have done.

 

I emailed the special needs department prior o cruise to make sure they were aware

 

When we got to port I made sure port staff was aware and we had a quiet area to wait for boarding

 

On board during drill we were able to stay in the room an watch a video and verify with staff we had viewed

 

Childcare staff gave me a phone to keep while he was with them and he maybe lasted 1-2 hours at a time

 

They provided ear plugs for shows and ding room accommodations in a wiry area

 

The staff was very accommodating and repeatedly contacted us to make sure we did not need any further support

[chloemonkey]

As a mother of an autistic child I can tell you what we have done.

 

I emailed the special needs department prior o cruise to make sure they were aware

 

When we got to port I made sure port staff was aware and we had a quiet area to wait for boarding

 

On board during drill we were able to stay in the room an watch a video and verify with staff we had viewed

 

Childcare staff gave me a phone to keep while he was with them and he maybe lasted 1-2 hours at a time

 

They provided ear plugs for shows and ding room accommodations in a wiry area

 

The staff was very accommodating and repeatedly contacted us to make sure we did not need any further support

 

This has been our experience pretty much! Although also HELPS that my daughter is an attorney that represents the disabled! We have had priority boarding (but would have anyway as we always book suites) have had the muster drill done in our cabins......and although I was worried about the balcony aspect, I got over it in time.......all our son wants to do is sit and look out the windows and watch the world go by!

 

He is pretty much low functioning....non verbal unless you are accustomed to his limited speech.....but the crew caught on very quickly and he was always treated royally by them!

 

One of his main loves in life is eating....so he LOVED the idea of pretty much nonstop food! Between room service, the specialty restaurants, afternoon snacks being delivered.....he was in "pig" heaven!

 

Again, the priority ability of getting off of the ship due to being in a Garden Villa suite helped of course.....but everywhere around the ship he was treated very well by the crew.

 

We have now taken him on 5 cruises....another one scheduled for January.....and he enjoys them thoroughly. At first, we hired private tour excursions as we felt that would be better....but now are able to just book the NCL ones pretty much and he does fine.

 

I think that the "first" time is the hardest...as you are expecting the worst! We found that our son did so well that after two "local" cruises - we even then choose to fly from Los Angeles to Florida to be able to have our adjoining Garden Villas on the Star! Fingers were crossed of course.....as this was his FIRST flight....and a long one at that! And as a side note, we always take the entire family.....so we took up pretty much the entire First Class cabin....but he did SO well that after a couple of hours, the other 10 of us fell asleep! And when I woke up, he was motioning one of my daughters to come and get in HER seat.....turns out he TOO wanted to take a nap and could not figure out how to make his seat recline into a bed! Once that was done, he also decided to take a nap!

 

Next trip......we flew to New Orleans as we were now more comfortable with the idea that he would do fine.....and did Southwest "cheap" seats! He still did just fine!

 

It is a process for sure.....and although we took the other kids on cruises before, we were NOT willing to attempt it with our son until many years later when there were more accommodations in place.....funny thing was that we did not even need most of them.....

 

You are used to this life....as are the rest of us that have been dealt this hand.....so you will know when to return to the cabin, go find a quiet corner, use the headphones.....and you are gonna be just fine!

 

We often think that we should have tried it sooner? But this was also the one or two weeks of the year when the siblings did NOT have to deal with their "special" brother.....so I still think that we made the right call as they too needed some time "off!"....

 

Bottom line is that if you are realistic in your expectations, be proactive in watching for "problem" spots and ASK FOR HELP from the crew/staff, it will probably be better than you anticipate! And also remember......although it is now second nature to US as to how to deal with our kids.....many are just not informed and would be more than willing to be more accepting or accommodating if they knew/understood the issues.....

 

Our FIRST crusie was on RCI......and although NOT a sanctioned autism group cruise - they were aware that he was going to be on the ship and would need some accomodations....and I actually got a bunch of cards from this group (autism......of the.....seas.....) which explains the syndrome and why a child may behave a certain way. I was more than ready to just smile and hand these out when our son was acting "strange" or having a meltdown.....but did not even have to hand out one! But these cards are a nice thing to have as a backup.....as it is better than getting into an argument with people - or having their awkward stares......and truthfully? I makes them feel very SMALL when they realize the actual situation! So might be nice to have something like this to hand out IF you encounter any resistance....

 

Have a great cruise! I think it will be the first of MANY!

[kitten3008]

I really cannot get over how wonderful all of these replies have been. Thank you all so much for your insight, empathy, and for making this momma feel like she's in good company!

 

My son is really what I would consider middle of the pack - not low functioning, and very social to the best of his ability, but not necessarily high functioning either. I have no problem explaining the situation to the cruise line, but it is interesting to note the potential HIPAA information. I love the idea of cards to explain to others, too!

 

It's really great to hear stories about how other kiddos have handled the situation, and some of the amazing ways they have been treated by staff. It definitely gives me a lot of hope! At the end of the day, all I want is for my sweet boy to have the time of his life. I will be sure to ask about standard procedures for early boarding, because some of the instances described would be WAY too much for him, for sure.

 

And as far as special snowflakes... there are a lot of people on this board who use that term to refer to the people who think their child/situation is unique and should be treated specially, which for me isn't the case at all. I just want the best chance for a smooth start!

 

Thank you guys so much, again!

[eynsteinp]

I also have taken my son who is high function on several cruises. He was 6 when we went on his first cruise and he is now 13. while I agree with all of the above suggestions, at least with my son, he absolutely could not stand the kids clubs and programs as he could not make friends with the other children. This just means that when he is with us we cannot plan on doing things without him being with us in most cases even if his twin sister is off with friends she made. Also, just keep in mind that the crowds are not only at boarding and buffets, the pools can be an issue. My son does not like being touched by people he does not know (very ocd and has phobia of germs) and when over stimulated tends to need to spin or flap which can cause issues in crowded areas (especially when he was younger) so things like the pool can be an issue as well. Overall cruises provide a good alternative for him because there is a lot to do and he can take breaks as needed without feeling like we wasted a bunch of money for activities. We also stay in the aft facing balconies (and suites when we are lucky) as he likes the larger balcony space and it does provide a place for him to get away from all the stimulation on the ship. I know that it will be a great trip but be realistic and keep your expectations in line as you might not be able to do everything you want in the length of the cruise (like board as early as possible).

[ZandZ]

This is a wonderful heartwarming discussion... i love reading about everyones wonderful kids.... thank you. I hardly ever get to talk about the experience of raising my son.

 

Sent from my SM-N910C using Tapatalk