Have you ever had people give you a hard time with your children on a cruise?

[njcruisingmom]

It's definitely not just seniors (and not often seniors) that have problems with kids on cruises or in any vacation spot. My folks are in their 70s, cruise several times a year, and never complain about the kids -- they're more likely to compare them to their own grandchildren. I have gotten some terrible, mean comments from people in their 30s and 40s (not on cruises, but in other vacation spots.)

 

My children are fairly well-behaved, but not perfect, and there were more problems when they were in the baby/toddler stage. We did the best we could -- took them out when they cried, tried to teach them some manners and really depended on the flexibiliy and kindness of strangers to be tolerant. I have to say the vast majority have been. It's unfortunate that the small number of mean, nasty, intolerant people can make parents feel so terrible. (Parenting's hard enough as it is.)

[wisefamily4]

We've found that the "stay at home" parents are those least likely to volunteer to help out and/or if you can get them to help - are the most unreliable.

 

My friend is a teachers aid and has been asked to work fulltime this semester in the Kindergarten classrooms - the reason she was given (and documented in the request to the school board for the expenditure)? - ". . . behavior issues due to an unusually large number of kindergarteners who had stay-at-home caregiving and were not acclimated to the formal learning environment." :eek:

 

 

What a load of $^%$^!

Sure ... some kids do just fine with a working mommy - but there is NO WAY you can really think kids with a stay at home mommy are at a disadvantage..... Oh my.... :confused:

[cruisinqt]

Wisefamily, you took the words right out of my mouth!;) I think Dr. Laura and Oprah would have a cow if they read that comment. Dr. Phil would say that person was justifying their own situation of working full time and not being home much by putting down those who are at home a lot.

 

Unfortunately, in this day and age, parents who work full time are assailed with feelings of guilt for not being stay at home parents.:( A good example would be Lynette on "Desperate Housewives." If you watch the show she is currently bawling her eyes out and feeling terrible because she's not a stay at home mom anymore. She feels like she's not a good mother anymore. Many parents identify with her and even lash out at stay at home moms in order to make themselves feel better. Telling yourself that you do ten times more stuff with your kids than a stay at home mom does with their kids makes you feel better. It may sound ludicrous to us, it makes no sense, but it makes them feel better and helps them to deal with their guilt.

 

I think good parents comes in all types of packages. You don't have to be a stay at home mom to be a good parent. And not all working parents are bad parents either. A good parent has nothing to do with whether or not you work. A good parent MAKES the time to be with their kids, regardless of their circumstances.:)

 

Contrary to Onessa's comments, the PTO in our school consists solely of stay at home moms. They have recently put together a school carnival, a school play, and an awards banquet. This was done without monetary compensation and they worked long hours. The little league basketball coach at our school is a stay at home mom. The little league baseball coach is a stay at home dad whose wife works full time. There are currently 3 stay at home moms who volunteer to help kids read books in my 1st graders class. The thought that "stay at home parents are the least likely to volunteer" is ludicrous!!:eek:

[Cruise Arizona]

I wear many hats around my house and in my community:

Church Music Director

Funeral Music Minister

Sunday School Teacher

County Youth League Cheer Leading Coach

VA Hospital Volunteer

Mom's in Touch Prayer Group

Chaufer (spelling)

Class Room Helper

And pretty much any thing else people ask of me if I can do it and still get all of my work done around the house.

 

I look at being at home as an opportunity to give to not only my kids, but now that they are in school, to give to my community at a whole.

 

But even with all of these things I am involved in, and most of them already involve my kids, the kids come first and if I need to take time away from these activities to be with the kids or support them, or take care of them when they are sick or hurt, I don't have the commitment of a full time job.

I consider my situation a blessing and would not want it any other way. I realize that not every one is able to stay at home with thier kids, but for those of us who can it is a noble job.

 

(Not intended in any way as a negative against working Moms, I know plenty of working Mom's that do a great job with their kids. Many of them even work for companies that allow for flex time so that they can be more involved with their kids.)

 

I'm not superwoman, I think that title belongs to that lady whom I saw on Discovery or TLC Last night who has given birth to 15 kids, and home schools them and from all appearances seems to be doing a great job raising a whole lot more kids than I could even imagine. Two is quite enough for me, I just don't think I could handle more than that.

 

I'm kind of rambling now, but feeling about being a Mom is "try your harderst, the best you can in your situation. Give you kids lots of love and attention, but make clear what your expectations are." I hope all that works pans out and I have well behaived cruise kids.

[Cruisin' Chick]

As I pointed out on a couple of other threads about the children on cruises, it is amazing to me that nonparents will pipe in about what constitutes good parenting and bad parenting. I'm not really into children...didn't really have much experience with them until I had my own child. But I have learned that many of the thoughts I had about raising kids really wasn't based on reality.

 

After being laid off when my child was ten months old and our making a decision that I would be a stay-at-home mom for the time being...I'm not going to say the working mom or the stay-at-home mom is better than the other. There is good and bad for both sides. I don't like the fact that I don't have my own source of income anymore. But with a high maintenance girl, I know she needs more help with homework, interpersonal relationships, etc.

 

As for PTA, we had both types involved last year. In fact, I was asked to take on a responsibility for this year because of my work on some committees last year. Then I found out my daughter got admitted to a magnet program so I had to resign. At her new school, the parent group needed some people to volunteer and I did. This week I also helped the teacher in the classroom for a couple of hours.

 

I'm not going to judge other stay-at-homes wondering why they haven't volunteered. Maybe they help out at another child's school.

[caprcorn28]

We went on a cruise Thanksgiving week in 2003 with family and got into an elevator to head to dinner. I had my 11 month old daughter, SIL had her two kids and my uncle has his young daughter.

 

Mind you, we had all simply stepped on the elevator. No one was misbehaving, there wasn't even to time for them to have begun misbehaving.

 

A man said "to himself", but quite loudly: "I went on vacation to get away from children!" My FIL was also in the elevator, and he simply stated: "Well, I went on vacation to get away from a**holes. I guess we're both disappointed."

 

Now I usually don't advocate using profanity in front of little kids, but he said it so quickly and matter of factly; it was perfect for the situation. It really put that man in his place.

 

I LOVE it!!!!!!!!! :D

[TexasFyre]

of my 5 children, only one left in the nest. he is 10. I have friends who have kids with emotional difficulties from ADHD to Bi-polar. yes, I am getting cranky in my old age, but stuff happens. Children get fussy, it's not like a parent sits there and pinches the child! and the responsible parents, who are right there with kids, teaching them, nurturing them, and trying to keep them in line on vacation, that I commend.

 

The problems I have are the parents who could care less. My neighbors are an example. Three kids, stairsteps in age, oldest in first grade I beleive. Those kids have no guidance, my fence is forever warped due to hanging over it (them) with a running hose teasing my dog. (long story you get an idea)

 

Anyway, these people with the holier than thou attitude drive me batty! I can't wait for my cruise during Spring break. I am expecting the ship (conquest) to have upwards to 700+ kids. WOOHOO! won't that be loud!

 

I think that those who go on these cruises, who I will call Scrooge, aren't informed in regards to kids. They just don't think about it. They are Seniors, there vacations are centered on Seniors and some assume that the cruises are still catering 90% to Seniors.

 

Hopefully some TA's out there are the good informationalists enough to warn the seniors "hey, its spring break there, you like kids?" :D

 

Sorry...long winded...

[angel41]

Somewhat related, it was dinner the night before our cruise left, having dinner in a casual restaurant. A little boy about 1 or so is crying in his highchair. Instead of his mother picking him up and taking him outside to calm down, she reaches over and smacks his hand about 20 times:eek: . This is the type of thing I can not stand to see. These people should never reproduce! After the third time, when she told him "stop crying or I'll really give you something to cry about" I had heard enough. I turned and said, "If I slap you around for a bit, do you think you would cry too?" in my sweetest voice. Maybe I should have minded my own business but that was ridiculous.

Back to the topic, as long as parents realize there may be times when your child may just need a break from a situation (take a walk, find a cracker to snack on, find something to entertain) and try to not disrupt others, the grumpy people need to go live in a bubble and lighten up. The parents are not out to ruin your day and neither are the kids.

[dimama]

Angel41 - if this is how the "mom" behaves in public, imagine how she probably treats her kid at home when there aren't strangers around. I am scared for this baby.

[angel41]

I feel exactly the same way. Even now, two years later, I still convince myself that Iwas right in saying something. I was not being nosy or over bearing.

[Cruisin' Chick]

"I turned and said, "If I slap you around for a bit, do you think you would cry too?" in my sweetest voice. " Good for you Angel.

 

This morning was I was walking my kid from our car to the lineup area, a mother and her kids were getting out of their car. I heard the mother complained to the kid that the school may complain about his sloppy outfit. I did turn around but was just amused because I couldn't tell which kid she was complaining to. They all seemed to be wearning jeans (the dress code requires navy blue or denim pants, skirts or shorts). I figured maybe she was just cranky.

 

I'll be going back this afternoon to volunteer in my child's classroom.

[caprcorn28]

Just a couple of things - there are rotten kids in this world that are being raised by incompetent parents - "working outside the home" or "at-home" parents. It doesn't matter - lazy parenting is lazy parenting. Parents that want to be their kids' "friends" and give them the "Now now honey..." and never say "NO" cuz it might hurt their "self-esteem." Parents need to give the rules/expectations and follow-through with consquences when those rules and expectations are broken.

I resent the comments about the "at-homes" being "unreliable" at the volunteering program...because those comments are once again pretty general. That's too bad that that is the experiece..but once again that has nothing to do with the mother's "title"....I will go out on a limb though and say that the "at home moms" shouldn't probably be labeled as unreliable...I will guess probably what happens is, the other children that they are caring for gets sick, gets hurt, teething and intensely crabby, the babysitter fell through...ETC....there is no one else that can take care of them. Situations happen.

We can go 'round and 'round all day on the debate. It's not worth it. Mothers should stick together...If you are secure in your own decision, it shouldn't matter or be judged by you what others are doing.

All we parents can do is our VERY best to raise responsible, functional human beings!!

[Catnip]

Parents that want to be their kids' "friends" and give them the "Now now honey..." and never say "NO" cuz it might hurt their "self-esteem." Parents need to give the rules/expectations and follow-through with consquences when those rules and expectations are broken.

 

I think you are 100% right!.......too many parents don't want to discipline the kids...........

[ratherBcruizin']

As I pointed out on a couple of other threads about the children on cruises' date=' it is amazing to me that nonparents will pipe in about what constitutes good parenting and bad parenting. I'm not really into children...didn't really have much experience with them until I had my own child. But I have learned that many of the thoughts I had about raising kids really wasn't based on reality.

 

[/quote']

 

 

I had to crack up at this. It sounds just like my DH and I. We were married for over 3 years before we had a child while his brother and his wife popped one out every year for 4 years. While at home we were always like, "they should be doing this, why does she say that? Um, why does their 2 year old get to make her own decisions?" We thought we had is ALL down to a tee. We'd be the absolute perfect parents....and we were until we had our own. And reality smacked us right across the face! :D

[Cruise Arizona]

When my sister and I were about 4 and 6 my Aunt commented to my Mom "Goodness your children are so loud." The she had her first child, the sweetest quietest little girl. All my Aunt had to say to her was a soft "no, no, no," and she would stop what ever she was doing wrong.

 

But then she had her second child, she became very sweet at about age 6, but from the time she was about 18 months until then, she was a living terror. One time we were at an ice cream shop and she threw and absolute fit, screaming, lying on the floor kicking and flailing, one for the ages. My poor Aunt couldn't understand why a sweet "no, no, no" didn't work with this child like it did with her first. My Aunt worked through it, and like I said, by the time this child was about 6 she was an angel, but talk about a terrible toddler.

[Nliedel]

My kids were pretty good. We had a couple of meltdowns but they were in the room and pretty quiet. No one had anything negative to say about them and I was grateful for it. My sister in law kept telling me how to parent them tho and that was unfun. "You should do this, if you want to be a *good* parent". Then she bought their formal night pictures and won't even let us have a copy. The kicker is she does not have kids.

[imsulin2]

Wisefamily, you took the words right out of my mouth!;) I think Dr. Laura and Oprah would have a cow if they read that comment. Dr. Phil would say that person was justifying their own situation of working full time and not being home much by putting down those who are at home a lot.

 

Unfortunately, in this day and age, parents who work full time are assailed with feelings of guilt for not being stay at home parents.:( A good example would be Lynette on "Desperate Housewives." If you watch the show she is currently bawling her eyes out and feeling terrible because she's not a stay at home mom anymore. She feels like she's not a good mother anymore. Many parents identify with her and even lash out at stay at home moms in order to make themselves feel better. Telling yourself that you do ten times more stuff with your kids than a stay at home mom does with their kids makes you feel better. It may sound ludicrous to us, it makes no sense, but it makes them feel better and helps them to deal with their guilt.

 

I think good parents comes in all types of packages. You don't have to be a stay at home mom to be a good parent. And not all working parents are bad parents either. A good parent has nothing to do with whether or not you work. A good parent MAKES the time to be with their kids, regardless of their circumstances.:)

 

Contrary to Onessa's comments, the PTO in our school consists solely of stay at home moms. They have recently put together a school carnival, a school play, and an awards banquet. This was done without monetary compensation and they worked long hours. The little league basketball coach at our school is a stay at home mom. The little league baseball coach is a stay at home dad whose wife works full time. There are currently 3 stay at home moms who volunteer to help kids read books in my 1st graders class. The thought that "stay at home parents are the least likely to volunteer" is ludicrous!!:eek:

 

Well, geez, cruisingqt!! "Unfortunately, in this day and age, parents who work full-time are assailed with feelings of guilt for not being stay at home parents."[/b] ?? Gee, what's wrong with me? I never once felt guilty for having a career and five kids...all at the same time! (And, I'm sure you meant to use the word assuaged instead of assailed...right?) Man, I just feel so badly for not feeling guilty! My apologies for baking cupcakes and hauling them to my kids' school on my way to work! Oh..I also apologize for being a PTO member because our meetings were at night! Egad! I tutored during the summer!! Equally, I apologize for my stay-at-home neighbor who played tennis all day...when she wasn't out shopping. "And not all working parents are bad parents either". Why, thank you! Boy, for a minute there, I was afraid I wouldn't be on the "Good Parenting" list! Whew! Dang it! I forgot to say that I chose to work. I'm currently reviewing my University transcripts to see where I failed the class in guilt. Oh, wait!! It was offered during the day, while I was working as a teacher! Right now, I'm looking for an on-line post-grad. course in Feeling Guilty Because You Had A Career. Aha! I found one! All I have to do is give them my credit card number and they'll send me a diploma! Oh, the years of guilt I've missed!

 

Desparate Housewives being compared to the millions of working parents? Give me a break!!

[mike46250]

Here is an opinion from parents of three. We fell in love with cruises about three years ago. We have not taken and have no plans to take children with us on a cruise. If you want to take them, more power to you! If someone doesn't like it, book an all adult cruise or one with very limited facilities and activities for children. Kids do occasionally get cranky......it comes with the territory, regardless of your parenting skills. If they do, why make a federal case out of it and spoil your fun?

 

There is one thing I have complained about with kids and it is not even their fault! If a ship has an adult pool, why do two or three adults find it necessary to bring kids (most in diapers) and plop them into the pool? This happened again on our last cruise and when the "pool police" told the adults that they must remove the kids from the area, they yelled that the rules didn't apply to them because they were with the kids. Wrong.

 

They only other problem was when a group of five or six kids about 12 years of age, repeatedly pressed all the buttons on an entire bank of elevators. I caught them on the second day and told them the captain had asked me to find out who it was and the he planned to throw them, and their parents, off the ship at the next port if it happened again. It didn't. I laughed each I saw them the rest of the cruise because they ran away everytime! I told at least a dozen people near our cabin about it and whenever they saw the kids, they would say, "There they are, go call the Captain!" The kids would take off in a flash. This running gag went on for five days.

 

I felt we turned a negitive into a positive. We had a good laugh. The kids stopped the pranks. No problem.

 

Kids will be kids. Lighten up.

[mike46250]

Now if I only had spellchecker loaded I would know how to spell negative.

[lisiamc]

Later that day my son and I went to the craft stor to pick up a few things for the christmas decorations. As I was pushing him around the store in the cart he started yelling outlout "F***-it" and "S***". Of course I was horrified. Luckily my sister had taught me a great technique that only works with Toddlers I responded "Yes that's a bucket" and "Chips, we don't have any chips right now, but we can stop at the store."

 

:D That's hilarious - you must have been mortified! Your sister is a very clever woman. I would have just waited for the floor to open up and swallow me!

 

Lisa

[cruisinqt]

 

Well, geez, cruisingqt!! "Unfortunately, in this day and age, parents who work full-time are assailed with feelings of guilt for not being stay at home parents."[/b] ?? Gee, what's wrong with me? I never once felt guilty for having a career and five kids...all at the same time! (And, I'm sure you meant to use the word assuaged instead of assailed...right?) Man, I just feel so badly for not feeling guilty! My apologies for baking cupcakes and hauling them to my kids' school on my way to work! Oh..I also apologize for being a PTO member because our meetings were at night! Egad! I tutored during the summer!! Equally, I apologize for my stay-at-home neighbor who played tennis all day...when she wasn't out shopping. "And not all working parents are bad parents either". Why, thank you! Boy, for a minute there, I was afraid I wouldn't be on the "Good Parenting" list! Whew! Dang it! I forgot to say that I chose to work. I'm currently reviewing my University transcripts to see where I failed the class in guilt. Oh, wait!! It was offered during the day, while I was working as a teacher! Right now, I'm looking for an on-line post-grad. course in Feeling Guilty Because You Had A Career. Aha! I found one! All I have to do is give them my credit card number and they'll send me a diploma! Oh, the years of guilt I've missed!

 

Desparate Housewives being compared to the millions of working parents? Give me a break!!

 

Whoa, hold on there! Where is all of this anger coming from? I express my feelings on the subject and get royally flamed for it? EXCUSE me for having an opinion. I'm so sorry that my opinion offends you, but I stand by my comments.:rolleyes:

 

I used Lynnette on "Desperate Housewives" as an example to show how the media today makes mothers feel guilty for not being stay-at-home moms. If you had seen the episode you would have understood. Lynnette is portrayed as a working mother who is missing out on a lot of her children's lives and is assuaged with guilt (sorry my spelling didn't meet up to your high standards:rolleyes: ) because she works so much. Working mothers can accomplish just as much as stay-at-home moms. They should be commended since they work doubly hard. It's how the media portrays them and how that effects the working moms that I was talking about.

 

I wasn't talking about my attitude toward working mothers, but how they are often portrayed by the media as neglecting the house, the kids, the husband and everything else because they work so much. I think it's wrong that they are portrayed this way. I get especially upset when people like my sister-in-law watch these shows and then starts feeling guilty wondering if maybe she is like the character portrayed on the tv show. I had to reassure her that she is a great mom. It's too bad that working mothers have to deal with this stereo typing wherever they go. Obviously you've had to deal with it too or you wouldn't be so angry.It seems that you totally missed my point and where I was coming from because you were too busy flaming me.:cool:

[C&S]

We have taken our children on 7 cruises and are headed out on another one this weekend. (Can't wait!) They love cruises and are well behaved. Our son, now 8 especially enjoys the formal nights. (He loves to get dressed up and be served in the dining room.) They love the attention, sites and learning experiences that cruising provides.

 

In all our cruises, the only problem we ever had was on their first cruise and it was surprisingly on Disney. We went into the theater to see Toy Story. As we were taking our seats, a lady turned around and told us to make sure he didn't kick her seat. We were shocked. I don't think his legs could have even reached her seat! We just figured she was a grouch and that if she didn't like kids, she certainly chose the wrong cruise line.

[Poomah]

Children are our heritage, our lifeblood. When will people learn that they are not mini adults with the self control, knowledge and understanding adults are supposed to have. Children must be granted some leeway, especially when on vacation. (after all, it is their time to have fun too) We are planning to take our kids on their first cruise next year. There will be four adults (parents & grands) and 3 children ages 2,4 and 8. The children will be expected to show the same amount of courtesy and respect while on the cruise as they do at home. Should we run into Mr. or Mrs. Grumpy we'll just deal with it at the time. Unfortunately this world is filled with rude, crude and socially unaccepatable people and sometimes they too go on cruises and other vacations. I find the best solution when meeting up with any of these types is to politely smile and genuinely and kindly wish them to have a lovely day. ;) Remember,others can spoil our outlook only if we allow them to.

 

ps - In case you can't tell - I love kids, all of them!

[cruise-addict]

I am sure everyone on the bus enjoyed hearing your child cry on the way back. That is a problem with alot of people "to bad for them". Those people probably wanted to enjoy a quiet trip back without a child screaming. After all, they paid money also.

 

You know, as a mother of a toddler myself, we absolutely love it when they scream and cry and all of our attempts to comfort them are unsuccessful. In fact, I Spend hours practicing with them to make sure their scream is annoying enough to others.

 

Yes, I AM being sarcastic...please realize we are trying our best to calm them down. Some times, my angel is well, an angel. Other times not so much. If I could predict when and where I would stay away from crowded places. If someone is particularly aggitated by children...book a private tour instead of a crowded, long ship tour. And as stated before, book a ship that doesn't target families with it's kid's programs. Otherwise, it IS too bad for them.

[cruise-addict]

By the way, my 4 children 14, 11, 6, 2 are going on their 3rd cruise in less than 3 weeks. Nothing to note on RCI, but on Carnival last year we got compliments right and left about their behavior. My then 18 month old stole a lot of hearts and people were saying things like "oh, I miss mine" "I wish we'd brought ours" and the like. I think spending a week without my children would be too long! This time we're doing NCL, hope it's great too!