Have you ever had people give you a hard time with your children on a cruise?

[Cruisin' Chick]

"When will people learn that they are not mini adults with the self control, knowledge and understanding adults are supposed to have. "

 

Unfortunately there's many adults who don't have self control, knowledge and understanding.:rolleyes:

[Lori in AZ]

Hello Suzanne!

 

I live in Southern AZ, too. Maybe we are neigbors?

[OsirisShotDown]

I think spending a week without my children would be too long!

 

We're going on our first cruise in March '06 with our two young 'uns. Our DD is 11 going on 15 (attitude-wise), so I wouldn't mind taking a weeks vacation from that pre-teen attitude ;) but I can't even imagine being away from my baby boy for a whole week! :( He'll be 11 months old when we take our cruise and I think I would just be miserable the whole time if I was away from him.

 

However, in regards to DD's stinky attitude at home, I think she'll be much better on the cruise - more stuff to do and not as many chores ;) We've been talking about proper cruise etiquette and whatnot, so hopefully I won't be reading negative comments about her on these boards after our cruise ;)

 

Now, maybe once he hits the "terrible twos & threes"... :eek:

 

Heather

[Cruise Arizona]

I moved to Oro Valley 6 years ago from Texas, and then three years ago we moved to Sonoita. Spend a lot of time in Cochise county with my kids football and cheer program, Huachuca City, Sierra Vista (do most of shopping there) and then games all over ther rest of the county.

 

Where are you located.

[Lori in AZ]

Here in Tucson for over 25 years. Was from back East.

 

Too bad you are not close by! It would be fun to meet in person and talk cruises! I have 5 kids age 19 to 6. We all are going on a Alaska Cruise in May 2006. :)

[TravelWorks]

When I took my children on a cruise a couple of years ago...most of the time it was wonderful. We went during Christmas week which normally brings out greater numbers of families...that is why we went that week-so my kids would make friends.

 

While on the 2nd formal night we were getting into the glass elevator with about 7 other people after dinner. The woman at the very back was in a white dress and had a glass of red wine in her hand. I saw this and moved myself and my children as far from her as possible. When she tried to squeeze out at the next floor up - she tripped on her heel in the door grate on her way out the doors and spilled a little wine on her dress. She turned and snapped at me and said, "Why would anyone have children?" I was so taken back- & My son looked like he was going to get sick! I would normally cry at something like that...and then simmer about it for hours wishing I had said the right thing.... but I was feeling really proud of my cute kids in their formal dresses and tuxedos and not only because they looked good but they were behaving well...so I quickly and loudly retorted "You should be glad your mother didn't feel that way! and-and and- don't blame the children because you are stupid enough to walk around with red wine~ in a white dress~ on a moving ship ~in a crowded elevator!"

She just huffed off.

 

I was so taken back by my own behavior that I realized everyone else was still in the elevator and staring at me... I quickly apologized to the people behind me who then broke out into applause & slaps on the back. The funny thing was the cranky woman was about 35 to 40 yrs old. Most of the people in the elevator where considerably older...and far more supportive! Maybe they were good grandparents? I don't know....But she was the only person that was ever rude to me about my children.

 

I felt sick about the confrontation for about an hour...because that kind of thing makes me very uncomfortable and I even felt guilty about stooping to her level...but She was a Bully... so I got over it!

[Cruise Arizona]

Lori, we are only 35 miles from Tucson now. I come in to Tucson every Wednesday to volunteer at the VA Hospital. My DH works at Rita road. Heck I have to drive 35 miles just to get to a grocery story, so that doesn't seem too far.

 

For Travel Works, it is so funny that the elevators always seem to cause conflict between the grumpy people and kid. I have asked my kids to avoid the elevator in order to avoid the grumpy people. So we'll see. I'll be reporting back, and I'll be honest about they were angles or trouble makers. I am really hoping for the first.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Good for you, Travelworks. Maybe she was frustrated or a little tipsy, but she had no right to blame others for what happened to her.

[Onessa]

 

Well, geez, cruisingqt!! "Unfortunately, in this day and age, parents who work full-time are assailed with feelings of guilt for not being stay at home parents."[/b] ?? Gee, what's wrong with me? I never once felt guilty for having a career and five kids...all at the same time! (And, I'm sure you meant to use the word assuaged instead of assailed...right?) Man, I just feel so badly for not feeling guilty! My apologies for baking cupcakes and hauling them to my kids' school on my way to work! Oh..I also apologize for being a PTO member because our meetings were at night! Egad! I tutored during the summer!! Equally, I apologize for my stay-at-home neighbor who played tennis all day...when she wasn't out shopping. "And not all working parents are bad parents either". Why, thank you! Boy, for a minute there, I was afraid I wouldn't be on the "Good Parenting" list! Whew! Dang it! I forgot to say that I chose to work. I'm currently reviewing my University transcripts to see where I failed the class in guilt. Oh, wait!! It was offered during the day, while I was working as a teacher! Right now, I'm looking for an on-line post-grad. course in Feeling Guilty Because You Had A Career. Aha! I found one! All I have to do is give them my credit card number and they'll send me a diploma! Oh, the years of guilt I've missed!

 

Desparate Housewives being compared to the millions of working parents? Give me a break!!

 

I work full-time outside the home, as does my husband - neither of us feel guilty. What should we feel guilty about? Neither of us are "exhausted or haggard" - we work, the family shares the housework, we spend time together - because of this I don't have time to sit and watch Oprah, "Dr." Laura, "Dr." Phil, and (thank goodness) Desparate Housewives. I don't need to have someone tell me how I should feel and how I should be living my life, because - guess what - I'm actually living it!

[cruisinqt]

I work full-time outside the home, as does my husband - neither of us feel guilty. What should we feel guilty about? Neither of us are "exhausted or haggard" - we work, the family shares the housework, we spend time together - because of this I don't have time to sit and watch Oprah, "Dr." Laura, "Dr." Phil, and (thank goodness) Desparate Housewives. I don't need to have someone tell me how I should feel and how I should be living my life, because - guess what - I'm actually living it!

 

Unfortunately, it seems like my comment was misunderstood. I'll try to clarify the point I was trying to make. :cool:

 

What I was trying to say was that in the media today working mothers in particular are portrayed as "exahausted or haggard" and full of "guilt" because of their plight. I did not mean to imply that that is the truth of the situation. What I was trying to say is that the MEDIA PORTRAYS working mothers this way and it has a huge effect on many women. When my SISTER-IN-LAW saw a particular episode of desperate housewives where one of the characters was a working mother who was "exhausted, haggard" and full of "guilt" at not being home with her kids, it bothered her and made her question her ability to be a good mother since she works full time.:( It's sad the way working mothers are portrayed in the media today and my comment was not an agreement with the way working women are portrayed in the media today but a complaint about it.

 

It's unfortunate that you don't approve of my SISTER-IN-LAW watching "Desperate Housewives," but where in the world did the "Dr. Phil", "Dr. Laura" and "Oprah" come from? They were never mentioned in my comment and have nothing to do with what I said, unless you were trying to belittle me by insinuating that I sit around all day doing nothing but watch tv. Let me rectify the matter by stating that I too, am a working mother. And I most certainly do not sit around all day watching "Dr.Laura", "Dr. Phil", and "Oprah." And if you are insinuating that that is what stay at home moms do all day, then I think you're sadly mistaken as that too is how the media mistakenly portrays stay-at-home moms. Not all stay-at-home moms sit around all day watching tv and not all working moms are exhausted, haggard and full of guilt. That's how the media portrays most women, they are either in one category or the other, there's no in between. But in the real world, many women balance work and home quite well. And in the real world, many stay-at-home moms are quite busy. :)

 

I hope this clarifies any misconceptions you had about my comments.

[Onessa]

Oddly enough I was responding to imsulin2 comments, but as long as you asked - you HAD originally brought up Dr. Laura, Oprah, et.al and also only recently brought your SIL's issues with Desparate Housewives up (see below):

 

Wisefamily, you took the words right out of my mouth! I think Dr. Laura and Oprah would have a cow if they read that comment. Dr. Phil would say that person was justifying their own situation of working full time and not being home much by putting down those who are at home a lot.

 

Unfortunately, in this day and age, parents who work full time are assailed with feelings of guilt for not being stay at home parents. A good example would be Lynette on "Desperate Housewives." If you watch the show she is currently bawling her eyes out and feeling terrible because she's not a stay at home mom anymore. She feels like she's not a good mother anymore. Many parents identify with her and even lash out at stay at home moms in order to make themselves feel better. Telling yourself that you do ten times more stuff with your kids than a stay at home mom does with their kids makes you feel better. It may sound ludicrous to us, it makes no sense, but it makes them feel better and helps them to deal with their guilt.

 

I think good parents comes in all types of packages. You don't have to be a stay at home mom to be a good parent. And not all working parents are bad parents either. A good parent has nothing to do with whether or not you work. A good parent MAKES the time to be with their kids, regardless of their circumstances.

 

Contrary to Onessa's comments, the PTO in our school consists solely of stay at home moms. They have recently put together a school carnival, a school play, and an awards banquet. This was done without monetary compensation and they worked long hours. The little league basketball coach at our school is a stay at home mom. The little league baseball coach is a stay at home dad whose wife works full time. There are currently 3 stay at home moms who volunteer to help kids read books in my 1st graders class. The thought that "stay at home parents are the least likely to volunteer" is ludicrous!!

 

I still say -

1) live your life by your own terms, not the pop-culture's idea of what it should be. Watch whatever you (or your SIL) want to watch but hey remember it is fiction, not life's rulebook!

2) in my experience, having one parent SAH does not, by itself, guarentee that that parent is going to be more involved in their child's life. It's my experience (not Lynette's on Desparate housewives, and I do not presented as scientific fact) - that there are SAH caregivers who don't really seem to be good parents.

[GordonD]

Here are some friendly sugestions I was given about bringing kids on cruises.

 

(note to folks who bring babies -- please don't put the diapered darlings in the hot tub or pool)

 

(note to folks who bring toddlers -- please put them to bed when they're tired... nobody likes hearing them whine in the ship's dining room any more than they like to hear them whine at Burger King)

 

(note to folks who bring teens -- please don't them 'run with the crowd' and then throw a hissy fit when they get yelled at and/or reported)

 

 

Though I dont plan on bringing any kids in the near future these might be somthing to remember.

[Colorado10098]

We just got back from a 7-Day on Princess. Big problem was screaming children -- was it kid's fault? NO -- Why would a parent bring a child to formal dinner when it is the child's bedtime? We saw young children literally falling asleep at table. Younger ones just screamed through the meal. What ever happened to responsible parenting? When we raised our children, we were always concerned about those around us -- if our child started fussing, we took them to another place so as not to disturb the adults. Now in our life, it is our time to enjoy peace and quiet in a formal dining setting, and we can't!! Why not have consideration for others and do the buffet instead of the formal dining rooms? Believe me, we love kids. But we know quite well that even very young children can be taught to behave, be quiet, and have respect for adults.:o

[mruhaak]

We are going on a Disney cruise in January with our 2.5 year old. I am making plans for how we are going to deal with the meals. As I know that he does not do well in restaurants, he most likely will not do well during a 2 hour cruise meal. This would not be fun for me to have him there and have to try to entertain him the whole time, or to fight a fussy child. Frankly I would rather eat room service in my room than do that!

 

And I am talking about a Disney cruise where there is obviously many more children in the dining rooms. I would never consider trying to fight my active little boy in a RCCL or other dining room where there are less children! It's not fun for the parents either. I don't know why people put themselves through that if they have children who do not sit still.

 

Some people's children do well in this type of situation, but mine will not, so I am making alternate plans.

[nybumpkin]

Not all stay-at-home moms sit around all day watching tv and not all working moms are exhausted, haggard and full of guilt. That's how the media portrays most women, they are either in one category or the other, there's no in between.

 

Whether work-at-home or work-outside-home, I think we're all exhausted:eek:

[shellie100]

We are going on a Disney cruise in January with our 2.5 year old. I am making plans for how we are going to deal with the meals. As I know that he does not do well in restaurants, he most likely will not do well during a 2 hour cruise meal...

 

I know you weren't asking for advice, but...A DVD player with headphones was the best thing ever for my 2 1/2 yr old on my cruise last month. Plus, I brought along new DVDs that were new and exciting to him. He sat through every dinner on a 10-night cruise. I wish I had discovered that sooner. Everybody thought my son was so well behaved, hehehe!!!

[mruhaak]

Thanks!

Actually we are already planning on bringing a DVD player in the form of my husband's laptop. We are hoping it helps on the plane too.

 

Last night he sat glued to The Cat in the Hat which was on TV. So I think I may go buy that one and then not let him watch it again until the trip!

[Cruisin' Chick]

If your two-yr-old is like many, he will watch many films over and over again. What I did was make a tape of various tv shows my child loved (mainly Nick...we didn't get Disney Channel five/six years ago), editing out any commercials. Nick Jr. has the commercials only in between the shows. I can put on the tape for a while and she would be entertained by Blues Clues and the other shows.

[cc cruiser]

We are cruising in January with our 6 grandchildren, ages 6 months to 7 yrs. We have been looking forward to this vacation for so long. Now I'm petrified that we will offend other passengers! We will certainly be teaching them good cruise manners between now and then. I pray they will remember them. And I will pray even more that the other passengers on our ship are considerate to the children!

[Cruise Arizona]

My kids did great on the cruise and we only got positive feed back from other passengers, which was a big releif after hearing horror stories.

 

I spent a lot of time with my kids before the cruise emphasizing that they shoudl be polite and courteous, especially to the seniors.

 

Kids had a great time being kids in the Ship Mates Fun Factory program, and being "Little Adults" at dinner and the shows.

 

They loved dressing up and trying new foods, they even both had escargot and frogslegs. They also loved the consomme and the lobster tail .

 

It wasn't like we never had to correct them, but they really wanted to be good so when we did, they straighten up right away.

 

We did end up taking the elevators on occasion, but most of the time the I had scared my kids into having the very best behavior on an elevator, they were really good, and were the last ones on and the last onese off.

[usgoobers5]

We are cruising in January with our 6 grandchildren, ages 6 months to 7 yrs. We have been looking forward to this vacation for so long. Now I'm petrified that we will offend other passengers! We will certainly be teaching them good cruise manners between now and then. I pray they will remember them. And I will pray even more that the other passengers on our ship are considerate to the children!

 

There is a posted question, "any cruises less kid friendly". You would not believe how many kid haters there are out there. I worry I will offend someone everytime we leave the house! People are so judgemental and just plain rude when it comes to parenting. I could safely assume the posters that answered the above question do not have children.

Take your family, enjoy your cruise and toooo bad for the offended passengers. Next time they can enjoy a land trip or learn to love the little guys.:D

[bububr]

BASICS: There are family friendy cruise lines. Disney specifically started as a child friendly "Big Red Boat" to target the market because there really wasn't a lot to do for children on ships. RCCL, Carnival and others followed adding rock climbing walls, ice rinks, Ben & Jerrys, Jonny Rockets...water parks and slides...now surfing. They also offer kids and adult only pools..etc. THese lines are family oriented/friendly lines.

 

Other lines like Celebrity are more adult oriented, however they offer ammenities for children but they are limited. Some ships have a seperate kids pool, limited club activites, and baby sitting. The attraction to these lines for most is that they have fewer to no children on the ships. The prices are a bit higher and they carry tag lines like "be treated famously", not "the fun ships", or "a real adventure".

 

From what I see/have seen parents choose the vacations based on their wants, not the childrens needs. An infant or small toddler is really not going to know what is going on around them and might freak out with all of the new noises, sights, foods, and people around them. An older toddler small child may have a good time on a ship where there are lots of activities, but might be boarded and restless on an adult oriented type cruise that offers only limited services for them. and the teen, I think for the most part they are there only because they were dragged along. Still too young to stay at home alone, (mom and dad don't trust them), and don't really want to be seen with the parents, also have to act 'bad' or 'cool' to make an impression. Now there ARE acceptions to the scenarios I just mentioned, unfortunately they are not the majority.

 

What I don't like is the attitude " I paid full price for my kids, so too bad for everyone else".

 

I don't like children, I'll be honest about that. Do I think they should be on a cruise ship....sure as long as they are old enough and or can follow the code of conduct that everyone else is expected to follow; as well as having attentive parents that will redirect them into doing the right thing instead of getting into trouble.

 

There are some written rules and some unwritten. Hot tubs are for adults, not toddlers or infants. Most say that no one under 16 can use them. Children should NOT press all of the buttons in th elevator, nor should adults. There is NO running around the pool area. Absolutely no throwing of food or anything else. NO ONE should be yelling or screaming including adults. Everyone should be respectful of others. Sorry but if you have a screaming infant...you ARE NOT being respectful of others you are encumbering them. Most parents would not (I hope) take their infants and toddlers to an 'R' rated movie, or a company Christmas party, or an expensive restaurant...so why would you do it on a ship. Once again I'm not saying families shouldn't cruise, just try to make the choice of ship one that is going to be a match for the young ones even if the parents have to do without fancy casinos, late night bars or other adult provisions.

 

As for the " let them find cruises without kids, and leave us alone" Comments. Cruises WERE mostly adult. I am starting to see more and more children especially infant on Celebrity ; I havent seen those family marketed commercials, What I do see is adult oriented commercials, and in their websites there is a link to 'family cruising' which basically says there is a club for age appropriate children. I wouldn't call that marketing aimed at families.

 

The idea of family cruising is a new one, it wasn't written in stone and carried down the mount by Moses. Many families are used to land based vacations where they can leave a restaurant if a baby is uncontrollable, where they pack up and travel as a close group; i.e Disney, Epcot, Seaworld, the Beach, Camping, Etc...When you are stuck on a ship with kids and they misbehave and its not addressed There will be animosity twards you and your family, and the "I paid for it so get over it attitude" only makes it worse.

 

One final comment. If as a passenger I was the scream, run around constantly, harass people, spit out food, etc... There is a good chance I would be taken off the ship at the next port of call. Fortunately the people travelling with me could stay. If a rotten little kid is doing the samething the ship should be able to eject the entire family. I don't think a 1 year old could book a flight back for themselves. Remember I paid for my vacation also, and I deserve the SAME respect and consideration I afford to others. Make sure your kids are aware of this.

 

Dave:eek:

[JandD Mom]

There is a posted question, "any cruises less kid friendly". You would not believe how many kid haters there are out there. I worry I will offend someone everytime we leave the house! People are so judgemental and just plain rude when it comes to parenting. I could safely assume the posters that answered the above question do not have children.

Take your family, enjoy your cruise and toooo bad for the offended passengers. Next time they can enjoy a land trip or learn to love the little guys.:D

 

Ok, I'll bite ...

 

On the last cruise I was on (it was Jewel of the Seas by the way) I ran in to far more poorly-behaved people over 21 than under 21. I am not going to turn into a kids vs. seniors debate, because that is not fair to seniors. On the Jewel, we ran into people in the 40 year old age bracket who just had no manners. And frankly, the behavior was apparent when our kids were not with us, so no one should try to point fingers at us and say "your kids must have been misbehaving..."

 

I think the problem apparent with "some" people is that as soon as they hear the word "child" in connection with a "cruise" they start with the buzz words "crying" "loud" (like adults aren't loud), "whining" (again, I saw more whining adults on our cruise), and of course, the famous "misbehaving."

 

I think those who post here and elsewhere and try to use those words, should perhaps look in the mirror. Those are the people who are going to be obnoxious toward kids even if they are angels.

 

Silversea, Crystal, Seaborn, all offer a great product for anyone who wants to cruise away from kids. Folks who think they can go on a cruise line with a huge kids facility and kids activities and find no kids are not being realistic. Just because a given cruise line had few kids 10 years ago does not mean is is, or should be, the same now.

 

By the way, of all the cruises I was on, Celebrity had BY FAR, the best kids program. So those who think it is not a kid-oriented line are perhaps not carefully reviewing their marketing materials which clearly describe their product. I know this debate appears from time to time on the Celebrity board and Celebrity's own web site just does not support that position.

[Onessa]

What amazes me are the adults who believe that since they did not do certain things with their kids or did not do them when they were kids, that they are automatically not appropriate things for me to do with my kid.

 

To make a blanket statement that an infant or a toddler "will not appreciate" travel - to me indicates that the speaker is not very much in touch with infants or toddlers. Some young children DO have a problem with new surroundings and may not be good candidates for travel, but others thrive in varied environments. And while an 18MO will not remember the ports, they will benefit from time spent with their parents and the experience will somehow become part of their "sum". For example, my now 10YO LOVES sea turtles - I can tell you that at age 8 months she was just as enthralled (having literally knocked me over squirming in the 'front pack' in order to get a better view of one at the Monterey aquarium!) - she does not remember ANYTHING about that trip when she first saw a sea turtle, but it certainly remains part of her. And I would not trade the memories I have of that, or any other, family trip we have taken.

 

It certainly is not an "us against them" fight. There are so many wonderful (abeit child-free) adults that we have encountered over the years who do not instantly raise their hackles when a child is in a 100yd radius. Those of us who travel with our children realize that not all child-free adults are child-haters and do not automatically lump all adults as the "enemy".

[JandD Mom]

To make a blanket statement that an infant or a toddler "will not appreciate" travel - to me indicates that the speaker is not very much in touch with infants or toddlers. Some young children DO have a problem with new surroundings and may not be good candidates for travel, but others thrive in varied environments. And while an 18MO will not remember the ports, they will benefit from time spent with their parents and the experience will somehow become part of their "sum". For example, my now 10YO LOVES sea turtles - I can tell you that at age 8 months she was just as enthralled (having literally knocked me over squirming in the 'front pack' in order to get a better view of one at the Monterey aquarium!) - she does not remember ANYTHING about that trip when she first saw a sea turtle, but it certainly remains part of her. And I would not trade the memories I have of that, or any other, family trip we have taken.

 

 

I could not have said it better.

 

My kids have been travelling with us since they were toddlers. They can't remember a lot about their early trips, but they are now good travellers and have good manners (for the most part). Thankfully, I did not listen to many of these folks and leave them home when they were young.

 

Perhaps those that were left home when they were young are now the "over 21 year olds" who were so badly behaved on the Jewel when I was on it.