Have you ever had people give you a hard time with your children on a cruise?

[mruhaak]

We take our toddler on trips...but it's not really about his "remembering" the places we go. It's more about spending family time together. We own our own business and I have a job as well. When we leave home we are spending time together. And we adults are able to see new places and things.

[I Luv Crusin]

I think it would make for much happier passengers (those of us without kids,as well as families) if the cruise lines would make at least one corridor per deck reserved for those cruising without kids. I know it would be a welcome treat for those of us that like to sleep in late, or go to bed early without having to listen to babies screaming and pre-teens running up & down hallways.

Then, everyone would be happy. :)

 

I'm afraid not everyone would be happy. I experienced a situation like this on the AutoTrain from Lorton, VA to Florida. AutoTrain has a "rule" that they put families with kids on the same car. They put "Adult" guests in other cars. Well, when we took the AutoTrain my kids were 14,13 and 12 and they put us in the "kiddie" car. It was awful. Preschoolers running up and down the aisle at all hours, babies and toddlers crying. My kids are not angels, however they get along and brought items to keep themselves occupied and we all were disturbed by all the noise.

 

On the return trip I knew better and asked NOT to be in a "kiddie" car. We ended up in the same situation but was compounded by the fact we had just gotten off a cruise and were exhausted!

[Onessa]

DIfferent strokes for different folks.

 

As to those who say that they want to have at least a corridor set aside to get away from screaming babies and running children - there are just as many of us who would like to 'get away' from adults who shout instructions down the hall to each other, drunken louts who can't figure out which room is theirs at 2:00am, couples banging against the wall during intercourse, or adults snoring.

 

To those who say kids won't remember anything from the trip anyway - there are those who will say that while they may not remember details, the experience will remain a part of who they are, and anyway, even if they don't remember it, my DH and I will cherish the memories of the trips with took as a family when my daughter was a toddler.

 

To those who say taking their child with them will ruin their ability to have fun, there are those of us who have adapted our expectations so that to even imagine having fun without our children is difficult. We don't do all the things on our trips that we did before-daughter now with-daughter; but there are some things we do WD that we wouldn't have done BD (we went to the Honolulu Zoo and the Maui Ocean Center - both were terrific, I don't know that we would have thought of them otherwise)

 

Do what is right for your family - some kids won't travel well, some adults need to get away and/or still want to do adult-only type vacations, other kids do travel well (at various ages), other adults like being with their families.

[Cruisin' Chick]

well said, onessa!:)

[skoolmom]

I'm afraid not everyone would be happy. I experienced a situation like this on the AutoTrain from Lorton, VA to Florida. AutoTrain has a "rule" that they put families with kids on the same car. They put "Adult" guests in other cars. Well, when we took the AutoTrain my kids were 14,13 and 12 and they put us in the "kiddie" car. It was awful. Preschoolers running up and down the aisle at all hours, babies and toddlers crying. My kids are not angels, however they get along and brought items to keep themselves occupied and we all were disturbed by all the noise.

 

I Luv Crusin- did you book coach or have a private room? We are going on the auto train in March for our upcoming cruise and booked a private room. I'm guessing you went coach with the amount of kids you had with you. I'm hoping the private room with be quieter. Was the food any good?

 

Beth

[rkbw817]

Hello,

 

I guess I need to chime in, because I have some thoughts about many of the posts on this board and I need to share my feelings.

 

So let me start off by saying, I am bias in my opinion. I am not a true journalist or historian so I base my opinions off my perceptions and my experiences. So there is a biasness.

 

I am a father to a wonderful little boy. In my opinion he is a person that deserves respect. Even more respect than I give him on a daily basis. My wife already shows him the proper respect that he deserves. He is a well behaved child that is going through a lot of changes and he is doing a lot of growing. In his 20 months of life, he has gain more that 300% of his original weight and he is 50% + taller than he was originally. He has 16 more teeth now then when he started and he is now able to communicate with words, where before he only had expresions and crying to convey his wants, needs, fears, joys and etc.

 

He has changed a lot and has come through those changes with flying colors. That is not to say that he did not and does not have his tantrums here and there. That there are times when he is angry and sad. But there are many more time where he is happy, he is laughing and where he is charismatic.

 

Let me tell you a little more about him. He is very curious and likes to learn from first hand experiences. He likes to be held and carried, as well as walk on his own. He likes to help with cleaning up, but he also would like to just cavort in a mess of toys, leaves, dirt, paper, boxes, puddles, ect. He knows how to ham it up for a camera, but would also like to learn how the camera works after the picture(s) are taken. He is a hands on type of person that likes to explore his surroundings, but only after he has done his proper inspection and observations. At times while playing and "excercising" he gets a little excited and empassioned. He is still learning how to vent that overwhelming energy. He also wants to be awake for every new experience that comes his way, which makes it a bit difficult at times to calm him down. He also like a good book, even to the point where he likes to have it read to him several times in a row. And finally, he likes meeting new people and seeing new places.

 

My wife and I strive to show him what is right, what is safe and what is good. We also strive to make sure that he is does not "inconveniencing" the people around him and that he does not make other unconfortable. That is how we show him to respect those around him.

 

That is why my wife and I can never imagine traveling or cruising without him. That is why we have never been away from him and why he is always with us. Yes there are some sacrifices involved. We can not go to the movies, concerts, sporting events or do those things where little children are not allowed. But we are still able to go to zoo, parks, the library and restraunts. We have taken him with us to our anniversary get aways. He sleeps just as well in a hotel as he does at home. He even travels well in a car. And hopefully soon we will see how well he travels on the ocean.

 

So I say to all of you that take your child on cruises, vacations and to exotic locals... good job and please continue to do so. Do not pay much attention to those around you because what is important is you and your family. I know that you get it and that you do not want to be away from probably one of the most extraordinary person or people you have ever met and lived with. I know that you get that not matter how old they are, they are always learning and in some form or another will always remember the trips you take with them. Plus why deprive yourself of their company.

 

Before my son, I met a wonderful person, whose company I enjoyed immensely and I still do. That is why I married her and that is why I want to be with her for the rest of my life.

 

I say to those of you who feel that children ruin your vacations, cruises and other entertainment... remember, you were once a child and at one time or another you cried and yelled and ran around. You were inconsoleable a least once and made other uncomfortable. Not because you wanted to make people miserable, but because you were mad, hurting, or just wanting to have fun. And that was the only ways you knew how to express yourself at that time. I also say, remember treat a child the way you would like to be treated yourself. Treat them with respect of their situation, their age and their experiences. Because the way you treat them may affect the way they treat you and others, for that day and many days to come.

 

I know that there will be more posts after mine with much more discussion. Many of you will disagree with me. You will disagree with stories from your own experiences, from your past and from your own biased opinions. I will read them and accepted them as such.

 

Some of you may agree with me. I will enjoy reading what you may have to say.

 

But all in all, I just feel better having written this post and letting you all know how I feel.

 

Thank you,

 

R~:D

[mollyeilis]

Let me first say that I'm the wife of R above. :) I pointed him to post #108 about the leave all children behind, he started reading, and got "hooked" as he IM'd me. I used this site to plan our honeymoon in '03 and we've started thinking about a cruise so I'm back.

 

*********

I'd kind of like the people who don't think kids belong on cruises to read the tread on this sub-board about my agony at considering leaving my 2 year old at home rather than deal with the child challenges onboard an unfriendly cruise.

 

I have pretty much decided at this point to leave her at home with grandparents. But really, this is an agonizing heartbreaking decision.This is not a child I want to be separated from. This child is a joy. And she's incredibly attached to me and never leaves my hip. She's intelligent and loves to see museums. She has exotic tastes and loves elegant dining. And she loves her sister and her family and wants to be with them.

 

And her sister probably loves her, and will not enjoy the separation.

 

I really disagree with leaving her. Especially when it's not YOUR concern of how she will act, but rather your worries of how OTHERS will react to her. Don't let the worry of what others might think, change what you feel is right.

 

I'm very concerned about her freaking out at being apart from us and her sister for over a week. And heaven forbid she gets very sick or something and her mom isn't there for her.

 

Very very valid concerns.

 

(As posted elsewhere, I'd stay home except that I think that this is a huge trip for her 5 year old sister, and I think it would worse to abandon older sister on this big trip with excrusions than to abandon 2 year old with grandparents. We'd skip trip entirely except that it is a family event with 26 people and perhaps the last time the whole family will get together like this and it is just too important to make husband and older child skip trip to accomodate 2 year old).

 

And the trip will be all the lesser for the 5 year old, without her sister.

 

But, as thoroughly discussed on this board, it is unfair to child, other passengers, and ourselves to force our youngest child into a situation that is completely hostile to her.

 

Your little one will barely even know if others are disapproving. And the adults on the ship can deal with it. I sure dealt with the neighbors smoking all over me. I dealt with the neighbors being loud, being drunk. I dealt with the adults being obnoxious, and they KNOW they are being obnoxious, as opposed to many 2 year olds.

 

Don't "borrow trouble". Don't worry about something that might or might not happen.

 

The cruise line HAL has no kids pictured in brochure.

 

So what? Since when is it a requirement for brochures to show every type of person that might be on board? The pictures and ads for our RCCL Alaskan honeymoon showed only beautiful, thin, athletic 20-somethings...but that sure wasn't the majority of our fellow cruisers, or even us for that matter!

 

 

 

They used to have a kids program that starts at 5, but they've lowered it to 3. But no child under 3 is allowed in the kids area at all, ever. Little kids are not allowed in pool. No diapers or wipes are available on board--you have to bring all your own gear. No toys are provided. Excursion vehicles don't have seatbelts for car seats. Excursions are things like helicopter rides, rafting, and glacier walks--not the kind of thing I can do with her in a stroller. And she'd have to eat, so into the dining room she would go with the rest of the family. Short of saying don't bring your toddlers, they've sent the message. I sure wouldn't have picked HAL except that other family members booked this cruise and that's just how it is.

 

We'd be a family of four, none of us good sleepers, crammed into a cabin constantly waking each other up, and child will be thrown off by a multiple hour time change, and she'll be stressed because she's flown 11 hours and changed planes and slept in a hotel the night before and in unfamiliar surroundings with 2000 strangers. So there will be meltdowns and night crying no doubt.

 

 

I noticed even Disney doesn't allow swim-diaper-clad kids in the pool. They say they have a "fountain" area.

 

So what if HAL doesn't allow kids in pools? Almost none of 'em do.

 

Do any of them provide diapers? I use cloth diapers, so we'd have to bring EVERYTHING.

 

I wouldn't *want* to use toys a cruise might provide. Ick!

 

As for excursion vehicles, do you mean busses? No busses have seat belts, not even school busses. (I know I'm spelling busses wrong, but I'm opposed to it being spelled buses LOL and refuse to spell it properly)

 

The 5 year old isn't going to go rafting, right? But you're bringing her!

 

I've lost track of where you're going. Why not organize your own excursions? I'm sure there will be plenty to do and see when you leave the ship.

 

On our honeymoon, *most* of the excursions were not to our taste. I won't go on a helicopter, I don't eat salmon, etc etc etc. The one official excursion we did was a tea-tasting! How sedate is that? (hubby's idea, by the way) Just b/c the excursions are not perfect for your family right now doesn't mean you aren't who they want travelling.

 

They are sending the message that families are welcome, by changing their rules. In a few years, when they have a place for toddlers, won't you be sad you didn't take her?

 

There will be meltdowns being left behind, too. And how are the grandparents going to deal with it? Are they going to do as well as you might?

 

If you take a family vacation, the whole family should go. If a family of 26 is gathering, the youngest child should be there too. I think it beyond unfortunate that there are semi-family vacations that work for some kids in the family but not all, and that both the ships and the fellow passengers have made it so unpleasant that I'm actually planning to leave a 2 year old home.

 

You said it. The whole family should go.

 

You are in such a PERFECT position to take her!!!!! You have 26 family members to surround you with love, to distract her, to tickle her and love her. And, if a meltdown happens, they can support you and protect you from the glares of others.

 

You have no idea how lucky you are, to have such a family situation.

 

 

So if I change my mind and you see me walking the decks and halls and stairwells for a week trying to keep a 2 year old somewhat amused, and you wonder why anyone would bring a toddler on HAL, that's why. And no, I can't control her. With all the above mentioned challenges, there will be night crying and there will be meltdowns, which are not easy to stop. That's why I (and I'm sure other parents) will indulge a child a bit and let some behavior things slide. Because if you are too strict in a challenging situation, you get a complete and total behavior meltdown. It's not "misbehaving." It's a complete breakdown of the child's ability to function. And I've had it on vacation before, when cirucmstances have been out of our control and child just can't take it anymore. So if you see me, please give us all some understanding and indulgence and make it easier not harder.

 

As I've posted elsewhere, I'm shocked to hear so many incidents on cruiseships where children do things to other people (throwing stuff on them, etc.). My experince with kids is that they might misbehave or whine or cry, but they aren't out to do it TO ANYONE. They are just doing it.

 

I'm sure we're not alone. Was it Tolstoy who said all normal families are very much alike?

 

We've taken our kids to very fancy places, where they have been perfect, while adult diners have glared at us all the whole time. Then at the end, they come and compliment us on having such well behaved children. That bugs me. It's kind of like saying you thought they'd be horrible but are surprised they were good. I also have a hard time believing all the posters who claim they never let their kids misbehave in their day and their kids were taught to be well behaved in public. Really all people are the same, and I'm sure all previous generations had meltdowns, too. Except in previous culture maybe kids were not out and about in public so much.

 

My point is that a child who got up at regular time, ate, had 3 hours of activity, ate, took a nap, had 3 hours of activity, ate, then went to bed will probably be a little angel. Mine are. But throw that time change in and some travel and some unfamiliar surroundings and a host of frowny faces and we'll all see some misbehaving. So here's a call to cut families some slack.

 

And I hear you. I used to be a business traveler. I know no one thinks oh happy day, I get to sit next to the baby who might cry at the air pressure or from being confined for 11 hours. But we're all annoying in our own way, so what are you going to do?

 

There. I've said everything I have to say. I'll be quiet now!

 

 

She sounds like a perfect child to go on a cruise.

 

Honestly, if HAL is as stuffy as you're making it out to be (and how can they, since they are having a meet-the-Seahawks cruise in May?), I'd be more worried about other people's reactions to your 5 year old. In my experience a 5 year old can be much more trouble than a littler one. Plus, a 5 year old KNOWS better what is right and wrong.

 

I'm not saying to leave the 5 year old. I'm saying you should take both.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Bravo to the last two posts.

 

That's a good point about the excursions. No one is forcing you to go on a planned excursion. We did three on our last cruise but that was because we found three we decided to try. And on all three, came our 8-yr-old. She even enjoyed the sightseeing one which surprised us as she usually gets bored with scenery. Most of the ports we've been to, we haven't gone on an excursion, just walked around or grabbed a taxi into the town and walked around.

 

It does take planning -- what sights will be of interest to your child, how would you get there (using the ship's excursion, shuttles, taxi or feet if it's close). The Internet is great. You can find out what's appropriate for your child's age, costs, location, etc. Also research what to take (sippy cups, activity sets, etc.). If you get into port a day early, you can pick up much of these items on a shopping trip so you don't have to schlep everything on a flight.

 

If the child is old enough to be enrolled in the kids' program onboard, try it out. I think they all are free. Even a shy kid may find another shy kid (or someone friendly such as my daughter) to hang out with.

 

Think of it as a great experience for you and your children.

 

BTW, we have yet to stay away from our child since she was born.

[EMTRa]

I agree -Bravo to the above posts! Congrats to all of you for enjoying trips with your children! It is fun..DD (and DH's kids) have all grown up traveling/cruising. Now that they are grown and DD is almost 12 with 5 cruises to her name, they have seen incredible places that most adults have yet to see or won't. All of them still love to travel - always will. DH and I have tried to instill the fact that good grades, college, good jobs and hard work = able to have fun including travel and enjoying life. They have all worked hard and now travel every chance they get on their own and with us! Don't get me wrong, I also believe that parents should have their own time in addition to family time..but to each his own.

We just finished our 4th "family cruise" and will continue as long as we can - someday we hope that will include grandchildren with us! I will never pay attention to those who feel children do not belong on cruise ships. IMHO they should be sailing on the ships that don't cater to families. I raised mine with discipline and manners - and common sense. I didn't take screaming children to dining rooms, or let them run wild in elevators or hallways. I do however, let DD eat as much ice cream as she wants and stay up late. :eek:

It is funny how we hear so much about the "horrible" kids but where are the posts about "Wow, I saw the most well behaved children on our cruise?" something to think about..because I have seen my share.

About not remembering?? DD has stated that she only remembers bits and pieces of her first few cruises but you know what? She remembers she was with her family! That's what counts. She has a smile on her face in every picture of every trip. Just remember there are some cranky old and young people who will never be satisfied..and they will throw their weight and opinions all over the place. Ignore them. Obviously, as the above poster stated they forgot they were ever young..or they were dropped here middle aged and the way they are. :p

Don't worry, enjoy your family and your cruise! Make your own plans for excursions..or better yet..how about staying onboard once while it is not crowded or loud? Some of my best days!

I look at the cruise pictures now of my then 5 yr old DD and wonder where the time went. I wish I could have it back. Cherish every moment and have a wonderful cruise!:)

[EMTRa]

I am a father to a wonderful little boy. In my opinion he is a person that deserves respect. Even more respect than I give him on a daily basis. My wife already shows him the proper respect that he deserves. He is a well behaved child that is going through a lot of changes and he is doing a lot of growing. In his 20 months of life, he has gain more that 300% of his original weight and he is 50% + taller than he was originally. He has 16 more teeth now then when he started and he is now able to communicate with words, where before he only had expresions and crying to convey his wants, needs, fears, joys and etc.

 

 

My wife and I strive to show him what is right, what is safe and what is good. We also strive to make sure that he is does not "inconveniencing" the people around him and that he does not make other unconfortable. That is how we show him to respect those around him.

 

.

 

Before my son, I met a wonderful person, whose company I enjoyed immensely and I still do. That is why I married her and that is why I want to be with her for the rest of my life.

 

Thank you,

 

R~:D

 

Simply awesome to see a dad that loves his child and his wife so much ..I also loved your wife's post! Great parents! Happy cruising!:)

[Zaniac]

We just came back from our cruise last week with our 9 mo old DD. Let me say that I was a little worried but soon realized that i was worrying for nothing. She was great on the cruise, at dinner, during the port stops, etc, etc. The crew and other guests were all pleasant and welcoming. The only time she fussed was on the connecting flight home as she missed her afternoon nap and we had been travelling for about 10 hrs at that point. My point is that I worried for nothing as she was as unpredictable as any other child and we never knew when an outburst may happen. It never did and we had a great cruise.

 

Don't worry about offending other people either, my experience is that all the people we encountered were welcoming and friendly to a young child.

 

Happy cruising...

[klarocco]

On our sailing of the Legend last week there was an elderly couple that fell in love with our 3 kids....Our kids took a real liking to them as well! He was a retired superintendent of schools and she was a retired school teacher....we had much in common since I was a teacher for 10 yrs before leaving the profession to be a stay-at-home mom.

 

They sent DH and I over drinks the last night to compliment us on what a lovely family we had.....I was touched beyond words.....so although there are many that will make rude comments there are MANY that will blow you away with their generousity of heart and spirit!...I choose to focus on those individuals.

[nybumpkin]

Hey, R and Molly - I'm mom to three boys. They've traveled with us on our two previous cruises and will be with us on Carnival Legend. We make sure they dress for the dining room, and we've never had complaints from them about having to dress up. They've received a number of compliments from adult pax. At the same time,they love their time with Camp Carnival (which gives us "adult time.") They love cruising and can't wait till our next cruise! All they need to know is what we (and those around them) expect of them.

[marley]

I am leaving tomorrow on the Star Princess with my 6 month old baby. I feel so much better after reading this thread. Not that I ever considered not taking her!

 

Thank you to all of you.