Dining - for me the most difficult part of soloing

[AdoraBelle]

Do you think it is easier for solo women than for men? thought others might be more comfortable with a single woman than with a man

 

 

May be age related--I seem to recall many threads where retired solo women/widows were fairly rudely ostracized by other women who worried the single woman was out to steal their husbands.

 

Women can often be our own worst enemies.

[MaryKEllis]

May be age related--I seem to recall many threads where retired solo women/widows were fairly rudely ostracized by other women who worried the single woman was out to steal their husbands.

 

Women can often be our own worst enemies.

 

Oh, don't get me started!!! I've been a widow for 2 1/2 years and it is like I have a "disease"! I don't consider myself single and definitely not after someone

 

I don't know if it is easier or harder for men or women----it's strange either way.

[Truluv]

MaryK and AdoraBelle - You made me laugh out loud! I am also a widow with absolutely no interest in another romantic relationship. However, I have encountered situations in which men and even other women have indicated that I must be on the hunt since I'm widowed now. Sheesh. And I'm lumpy, dumpy and grumpy. I can't imagine what an enormous threat I'd be to other people's relationships if I wasn't scowling, tired and sarcastic most of the time.

 

On the other hand, I also work with some widowers who are finding that women are knocking down their doors just because they have a Y chromosome and incomes.

 

Glad to be solo, not single!

[Midwestern Cruiser]

When I saw the topic "Dining - for me the most difficult part of soloing" I clicked through to show support -- but the truth is, this thread is more optimistic than not and I've enjoyed catching up with all the comments.

Winchester Ranger: you sure handle difficult with grace!

Written On Your Heart: please tell me about nightly MTD reservations. It almost sounds like set dining.

4boysnana calls solo cruiser dining an adventure...and until it's awful, that's how I'm looking at it :-}

Saint Greg: I hope you try the MDR at least once. No real loss if it doesn't work, but not going means not knowing (and you can always wear your headphones haha). Your CC roll call FB comments make sense, and I've had it happen to me. If it's a FB roll call, it's contained to those who join, but if it's the Carnival FB page, it's open to all.

P.S. to anyone who has sailed Holland: If you've attended a "singles and solos meet" function onboard, can you share how it went?

[eigig]

MaryK and AdoraBelle - You made me laugh out loud! I am also a widow with absolutely no interest in another romantic relationship. However, I have encountered situations in which men and even other women have indicated that I must be on the hunt since I'm widowed now. Sheesh. And I'm lumpy, dumpy and grumpy. I can't imagine what an enormous threat I'd be to other people's relationships if I wasn't scowling, tired and sarcastic most of the time.

 

On the other hand, I also work with some widowers who are finding that women are knocking down their doors just because they have a Y chromosome and incomes.

 

Glad to be solo, not single!

 

I enjoyed your post! I am recently widowed but have travelled solo for many years both on land and sea due to my own business requirements as well as that my husband had Chronic Progressive MS and could not travel. I got so used to traveling for business solo that it was a no-brainer to travel for pleasure also.

 

I can see how the dynamic could shift now that I am widowed. I have absolutely no interest in a romantic relationship but I can now see that this could be more of a threat to other couples than when I was married to a disabled spouse. An interesting dynamic. Thanks for your post and I will see keep this in mind on my upcoming Eastern Med cruise on RCCL.

[mef_57]

I enjoyed your post! I am recently widowed but have travelled solo for many years both on land and sea due to my own business requirements as well as that my husband had Chronic Progressive MS and could not travel. I got so used to traveling for business solo that it was a no-brainer to travel for pleasure also.

 

I can see how the dynamic could shift now that I am widowed. I have absolutely no interest in a romantic relationship but I can now see that this could be more of a threat to other couples than when I was married to a disabled spouse. An interesting dynamic. Thanks for your post and I will see keep this in mind on my upcoming Eastern Med cruise on RCCL.

(the following is all tongue in cheek) I can see why some cultures prefer their widows in black for a long time. Maybe it is easier to see them coming and for wives to lock up their husbands....of course, that won't work in many locations now where black is THE (non)colour of choice. I wonder what colour divorcees would be encouraged to wear in order to stand out? Scarlet has already been taken.....

[Midwestern Cruiser]

(the following is all tongue in cheek) I can see why some cultures prefer their widows in black for a long time. Maybe it is easier to see them coming and for wives to lock up their husbands....of course, that won't work in many locations now where black is THE (non)colour of choice. I wonder what colour divorcees would be encouraged to wear in order to stand out? Scarlet has already been taken.....

 

Sometimes the written word loses the speaker's intention, but this was funny and I think at least most would have seen its humor. And we can all use more of that! :-}

[mef_57]

Sometimes the written word loses the speaker's intention, but this was funny and I think at least most would have seen its humor. And we can all use more of that! :-}

I hope so; and as I am a divorcee and run into similar problems, I hope they can see the humour in it - as I speak from experience. One has to laugh at humanity (and ourselves) at times.

Though in seriousness, I know that the cold shoulder and dirty looks can be so hurtful for people who are trying to branch out and learn to live differently after a loss of another. I don't intend to belittle that at all....moreso to try to make light of the insecure reactions of others.

[Midwestern Cruiser]

I hope so; and as I am a divorcee and run into similar problems, I hope they can see the humour in it - as I speak from experience. One has to laugh at humanity (and ourselves) at times.

Though in seriousness, I know that the cold shoulder and dirty looks can be so hurtful for people who are trying to branch out and learn to live differently after a loss of another. I don't intend to belittle that at all....moreso to try to make light of the insecure reactions of others.

 

I'm one of those trying to branch out after loss and your comment didn't belittle at all. The world could use a little lightening up!

[MaryKEllis]

I'm one of those trying to branch out after loss and your comment didn't belittle at all. The world could use a little lightening up!

 

agreed.

[tmee]

P.S. to anyone who has sailed Holland: If you've attended a "singles and solos meet" function onboard, can you share how it went?

 

 

 

I went to one HAL solo/single luncheon once. Prior to going I had met a very nice flight attendant at breakfast one morning and we kept running into each other all around the ship talking, do the same activities, etc. So he kept insisting that we try to go to one of the single/solo luncheons...to meet other solo passengers. I was not interested but I finally agreed to go. ...Well my new friend (in his 50s) outside of me ( at least 25 years his junior) was the youngest person there. There was one other man in his 80s (at least) all the rest were women. I have to say it was the most bizarre luncheon I had, had. Sandwiched between my new friend and I, was a woman who was offended by almost any subject matter other than the food we were eating. She complained the entire meal, but would be annoyed if you wanted to talk to someone else at the table. I also had a very well meaning women (I keep telling myself she was well meaning), who kept INSISTING that the "young couple" (my flight attendant friend and I) should reaaaalllly get together and we would make such a cute couple, she kept stating this over and over ad nauseam ....Although we tried to explain that in addition to age discrepancy that I was missing a certain chromosome that made me uninteresting to him in that way.

 

It is his story to tell about what was happening to him at his end of the table (he was not interested see above :))

 

 

It was one of the longest lunches, not to mention my "friend" mouthed to me across the table "I'm sooooo sorry" :) He learned his lesson and we chuckled about it later. But, we did keep seeing that one single elderly man surrounded by at least three of the women everywhere he went like he was Hugh Heffner . :D So the solo luncheon was very successful for him :)

 

Luncheon was a bust but entertaining, I/we had better luck meeting people more suited to our interests, by just doing activities and regular open seating, breakfast and lunch dining or at tea.

 

I have never done one again (not that I wouldn't try again, but I just haven't)

 

one girl's experience

 

 

tmee

[tmee]

But to the OP point, my experience on a Cunard crossing was amazing. My dinning companions were wonderful. I was worried initially, as I had not had traditional dining Solo in quite some time. But, at my table we were all traveling Solo, all from different backgrounds, nationalities, a wide range of ages, and we all got along. We even planned breakfasts together, tea, we went to the balls, a themed Casino night, Someone of us would break off and do things in pairs or in a trio. We "resuced" each other from less than delightful experiences from other passengers if we saw one of us giving that "help me" look from a distance. It really was the most cohesive set of dining companions I have ever had.

People thought we all knew each other from somewhere... and we would say no "we just met at dinner three days ago" :)

 

I have to say that experience has definately spoiled me. But I say the OP is right, Be open to meeting people (if that is what you desire) try the dining in the dining room and if you end up with much less than delightful dinner companions (or maybe YOU are the less than delightful dinning companion :)) make a change at that point.

 

The transatlantic crossings do bring and interesting mix of people who are choosing this mode of transportation for various different reasons which in most cases can at least be the beginning of an interesting conversation.

 

tmee

[Midwestern Cruiser]

I went to one HAL solo/single luncheon once. Prior to going I had met a very nice flight attendant at breakfast one morning and we kept running into each other all around the ship talking, do the same activities, etc. So he kept insisting that we try to go to one of the single/solo luncheons...to meet other solo passengers. I was not interested but I finally agreed to go. ...Well my new friend (in his 50s) outside of me ( at least 25 years his junior) was the youngest person there. There was one other man in his 80s (at least) all the rest were women. I have to say it was the most bizarre luncheon I had, had. Sandwiched between my new friend and I, was a woman who was offended by almost any subject matter other than the food we were eating. She complained the entire meal, but would be annoyed if you wanted to talk to someone else at the table. I also had a very well meaning women (I keep telling myself she was well meaning), who kept INSISTING that the "young couple" (my flight attendant friend and I) should reaaaalllly get together and we would make such a cute couple, she kept stating this over and over ad nauseam ....Although we tried to explain that in addition to age discrepancy that I was missing a certain chromosome that made me uninteresting to him in that way.

It is his story to tell about what was happening to him at his end of the table (he was not interested see above :))

It was one of the longest lunches, not to mention my "friend" mouthed to me across the table "I'm sooooo sorry" :) He learned his lesson and we chuckled about it later. But, we did keep seeing that one single elderly man surrounded by at least three of the women everywhere he went like he was Hugh Heffner . :D So the solo luncheon was very successful for him :)

Luncheon was a bust but entertaining, I/we had better luck meeting people more suited to our interests, by just doing activities and regular open seating, breakfast and lunch dining or at tea.

I have never done one again (not that I wouldn't try again, but I just haven't)

one girl's experience

tmee

 

Oh my and bwahahaha. I'm shaking my head, but also grinning.

Thanks for sharing!

[Midwestern Cruiser]

But to the OP point, my experience on a Cunard crossing was amazing. My dinning companions were wonderful. I was worried initially, as I had not had traditional dining Solo in quite some time. But, at my table we were all traveling Solo, all from different backgrounds, nationalities, a wide range of ages, and we all got along. We even planned breakfasts together, tea, we went to the balls, a themed Casino night, Someone of us would break off and do things in pairs or in a trio. We "resuced" each other from less than delightful experiences from other passengers if we saw one of us giving that "help me" look from a distance. It really was the most cohesive set of dining companions I have ever had.

People thought we all knew each other from somewhere... and we would say no "we just met at dinner three days ago" :)

I have to say that experience has definately spoiled me. But I say the OP is right, Be open to meeting people (if that is what you desire) try the dining in the dining room and if you end up with much less than delightful dinner companions (or maybe YOU are the less than delightful dinning companion :)) make a change at that point.

The transatlantic crossings do bring and interesting mix of people who are choosing this mode of transportation for various different reasons which in most cases can at least be the beginning of an interesting conversation.

tmee

 

It's true...I could be the less than delightful one...if I'm hangry, I'm also the first to admit how hard I am to get along with.

I'll try the single/solo get together(s) and make an effort to be pleasant there AND an easy going dinner companion. Shouldn't be that hard, since I'm usually on cloud nine in Alaska!

Thanks for another reply that gives me reason to be hopeful :-}

[Truluv]

TMee - Also laughing! Wish we would all be on the same ship at the same time... it would be fun!

[puerto penasco lady]

I usually do anytime dining when traveling with a friend, but have always done traditional when traveling solo. However, since they changed the early dining to 5:30, it doesn't allow me to use the Diamond or Elite lounge. Am considering trying anytime alone, but definitely would want to share a table. I have a b2b in August, thinking I might try one week anytime and see how it goes. Opinions or experiences welcome.

 

Brenda

[Midwestern Cruiser]

TMee - Also laughing! Wish we would all be on the same ship at the same time... it would be fun!

 

Indeed it would!!

[Midwestern Cruiser]

I usually do anytime dining when traveling with a friend, but have always done traditional when traveling solo. However, since they changed the early dining to 5:30, it doesn't allow me to use the Diamond or Elite lounge. Am considering trying anytime alone, but definitely would want to share a table. I have a b2b in August, thinking I might try one week anytime and see how it goes. Opinions or experiences welcome.

Brenda

 

I've never done anything but traditional...until my cruise that starts Saturday. I can come back and tell you how it went if month end is soon enough.

Prefer to dine around 6:15/6:30, so I can do that with anytime. I'm actually starting to think I might enjoy it whether with others or not. I can keep my kindle in my purse and default to reading if no one else is at the table.

[SandraDJ]

I usually do anytime dining when traveling with a friend, but have always done traditional when traveling solo. However, since they changed the early dining to 5:30, it doesn't allow me to use the Diamond or Elite lounge. Am considering trying anytime alone, but definitely would want to share a table. I have a b2b in August, thinking I might try one week anytime and see how it goes. Opinions or experiences welcome.

 

Brenda

 

I tried Mytime dining on my first RCI cruise. I didn't really like it, as there didn't seem to be an opportunity to get to know anyone.

 

I may try it again sometime, but at the moment I prefer second sitting.

[Midwestern Cruiser]

I tried Mytime dining on my first RCI cruise. I didn't really like it, as there didn't seem to be an opportunity to get to know anyone.

I may try it again sometime, but at the moment I prefer second sitting.

 

That was a concern (not being able to get to know tablemates), but then I decided if I met someone I liked I could try to make plans to meet them the next night. If they hesitate, I'll know I enjoyed their company more than they enjoyed mine :-]

With that thought I've decided to try to always arrive at dinner in a good mood (and not hangry)....we'll see if my plan works!

[puerto penasco lady]

I would be very interested in a report back on how it went. 5:30 is too early and late seating is too late....I am like you, around 6:30 is perfect for me.

 

Brenda

[puerto penasco lady]

I sort of made a decision today....changed to anytime for first half of b2b. If I like it will change the second week while I am on board. Diamond lounge here I come.

 

Brenda

[mef_57]

I sort of made a decision today....changed to anytime for first half of b2b. If I like it will change the second week while I am on board. Diamond lounge here I come.

Brenda

Good call Brenda - that is what I would consider doing too. Covers all bases.

[Moscowlad]

I travel solo, and I enjoy sitting at large tables meeting a variety of people, last time however I arrived on the first night at the MDR and sat on my own, chatting with a couple on the table next to me, the maitre d' explained that it was probably because there was a lightshow as we were leaving port, the next night the same again nobody on a table of 6 apart from me.

It turns out that because the table was near the doors the other people on the table had requested changes and nobody had noticed that left me on my own till I was solo for two nights. Well they said they would rearrange it and a friend who I had met on board said his table had a spare space so I joined them for the remainder and had a great time.

[vacation luvver]

It turns out that because the table was near the doors the other people on the table had requested changes and nobody had noticed that left me on my own

I have a feeling that the other people weren't all seated together at some other table. I bet they were split up, and each person was seated only with his traveling companion(s) at another table. You probably weren't automatically moved because you didn't complain about the table being near the doors, and they figured that you were happy to sit there.

 

One just can't count on being seated with others in the MDR nowadays. Sure, your assigned table may include other people, but maybe they eat at the buffet all the time, or in specialty restaurants all the time, or, like this example, they didn't want to sit at their designated table.

 

That's why I'm a fan of Select/As You Wish dining for solos who don't want to eat alone in the MDR.