Shy Teen

[cocobam]

I will be on Allure in April with DH, DD16, DS12, and DS10. I think DD will enjoy the cruise much more if she can make a few friends and hang out with other teens, but I know she will be VERY reluctant to attend any of the teen events, because it is difficult for a shy teen to walk into a group setting where she doesn't know anyone. Any advice on which teen activities are best for getting to know other solo teens early in the cruise? If she tries out one teen activity and feels awkward, she will never go back!

 

Also, her brother is 12, so he is old enough for teen activities. He will prefer to hang out with his younger brother and us, but he would be willing to tag along with her, if it helps her feel more secure. However, I wonder if they separate the younger teens from the older ones at the teen events? TIA!

[Clarea]

Best advice is to make sure she goes to the very first activity, because all the teens will be in the same boat (PI) as far as being new and not having made friends yet.

[brenderlou]

Not sure of the age cut off but I want to say the 10-12 yr olds are together. If not than the 12 yr old can be with the 10 yr old group but not the other way around.

As for your daughter....I would try doing activities or being around as many families with kids the first day or 2 so hopefully she can click with someone. It's tough that age if you are not super outgoing to go to an event on your own.

Also I would check out the first event for her age group. At 16 she can leave at any time if it's not working for her.

 

 

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[Ken at the beach]

12 and up are all considered teens although they do split them into 12-14 and 15+. Kids in both groups come and go as they please for all activities.

 

First night it is best to attend the meet n greet at about 8:00 or 8:30.

 

My daughter was also very shy and never went until our last cruise. Another parent posted on our roll call that his daughter (same age) was looking to make friends before the cruise on social media. The kids exchanged snapchat addresses and they communicated for 2 months before the cruise. On the cruise they were constantly hanging together and had a great time.

Edited January 12, 2017 by Ourusualbeach

[cb at sea]

Agree with the 1st response. The "orientation" night is a MUST! EVERYONE is "new"...that's when all are equal. She will not be the only "shy" one...

[Jenjer]

Go the first night to the meet and greet. Most of the kids on the ship are in the same boat (haha) They don't know anyone and they want to hang out with other kids more than hanging out with parents all the time. Parents are not allowed in the teen club, they basically come and go as they please. With scheduled activities.

 

Its only 7 days and so there seems to be very fast friendships made.

 

Try and make a connection thru your roll call. sometimes that works sometimes it doesn't.

 

The kids tend to hang out in packs of 4-6 most of the time and most "packs" are actually very welcoming to someone who simple walks over and says "Hi"

 

My DD used to be painfully shy and making quick friends on ships has made her so not shy IRL. She learned in a safe place, its 7 days and she will never see these people again, that most people won't inherently reject you. Most people just want to be friendly with other nice people.

[Jenjer]

There are so many easy conversation starters. Where are you from? Is this your first cruise? What has been your favorite cruise? how does this ship compare? what is your favorite thing on this ship? What are you doing in port? How small is your room :-)

[lucymorgan]

I agree with going the first night. I used to make a deal with my shy teen that she attend one or two events and then she could decide if she wanted to keep going or not. Sometimes she did and sometimes not.

 

If your dd doesn't click with anyone on the first or second try, my advice is to let her do what she wants. Sometimes there may be a 'not so nice' clique and there is no point forcing her to try to join them. (Try reading "Queen Bees and Wannabees" or "Princess B*face" if you want to know more!) There is no point forcing her to be with people who may damage her self esteem.

 

Sometimes instead, my DD came to craft lessons with me, enjoyed eating in the MDR and restaurants, iceskating, etc etc and just hanging around relaxing.

 

She has also met up with fellow teens from cruise critic rollcalls and twice that has been good.

[gi_pam]

Recently on Harmony, over 900 teens on that cruise, with my DD13 and DS16. In our case it's the boy who's quieter/shy.

 

Teen program is 12-17. Both kids should go to the meet and greet the first night. The groups will naturally form. If your daughter feels more comfortable with her brother around the first night, that will help, but then after that, the groups of like minded kids will naturally stick together. Your 12 year old will likely find his own group of 12 year old (ish) boys to hang with. On our cruise, my kids said they let an 11 year old move up into the teen group because he was not happy in the younger group, so I imagine even if your 12 yo thinks he wants to go with his younger brother, he'd feel too old in the 9-11 group.

 

My shy, quiet, 16 year old son had a blast and met lots of great kids.

 

They do separate the kids into 12-14 and 15-17, but by about halfway in, the groups didn't seem to matter. Some (not all) of the organized activities were separated by age, but the groups were not as age defined out of the teen centre.

 

My 13 yo tends to get really annoyed by the typical 13 yo girl BS (I tell her that the worst part about being 13 is that all of your friends are 13...13 year old girls are an annoying bunch!). Sure enough, a couple of days in, the gossip and b****iness started, so she ditched the Queen Bee and her group and started hanging around with her brother and his friends.

[cocobam]

Thank you all very much for the responses! I will try hard to convince her to go to the meet & greet the first night. Does anyone know if they separate the younger and older teens during the first night orientation? She will be more likely to go if she will be able to have her brother by her side for this.

[gi_pam]

Thank you all very much for the responses! I will try hard to convince her to go to the meet & greet the first night. Does anyone know if they separate the younger and older teens during the first night orientation? She will be more likely to go if she will be able to have her brother by her side for this.

 

I'll ask my kids what they did on our cruise, but it may vary by ship and sailing (primarily due to number of teens on the sailing, I think).

 

On our Mariner sailing, it was together...mind you only 3 kids showed up for the meet and greet :) My 2, plus 1 more. There were under 20 teens on the whole ship!