Wine Etiquette at Dinner

[dsfischer]

My husband and I will be on the October 24 Tahitian Princess and will be doing Traditional second seating for dinner. We have requested a table with others, and I am wondering what the "proper" etiquette would be when ordering wine with dinner. On my last cruise I was with my mother and two teen daughters, and a bottle of wine lasted about 2 nights. When you sit with an "unknown" group will most people order their own bottles of wine (if they drink wine), or do you take turns "sharing" a bottle? I know this seems like a silly question, but my husband is not a wine drinker so I would (basically!) be ordering a bottle for myself every few days! Would it be better to just order it by the glass? (My memory of our first cruise 20 years ago is that 3 of the 5 couples took turns ordering bottles of wine during the cruise, but everyone drank it!) Thanks for any help!

[randolph]

Your wine should remain yours. If
someone else offers you a glass of
their wine, you can say thank you,
but no. Then you will not feel
obligated in any way. If you accept
their offering, then you should
offer yours in return.

[rkacruiser]

I enjoy having wine with dinner. Therefore, at dinner on the first night, I very quickly let the Dining Room Steward know that I want the services of the Wine Steward. I will order what I hope will be a wine that most would enjoy and that is an inexpensive to moderate priced wine(as shown by the wine list). When the wine is served, the Wine Steward will ask to whom he should serve the wine. I will offer the wine to any at the table who wish to join me. It would then be my expectation that on future nights, those who have drunk my wine will then order and offer their wine. A regular rotation pattern for ordering ought to develop. And, in fact, I have found that both the Wine Steward as well as myself become very uncomfortable when such a pattern does not develop.

I have had the good fortune of being with fellow cruisers who have had the good manners of ordering and sharing their wine when I share mine. I have also had the experience of being the only one at the table who drank wine. The Wine Steward is more than pleased to cork, store, and serve the remaining wine at another dinner.

If one would find oneself at a table when someone was drinking and not buying, I think it would be appropriate when their turn to order would come to politely ask them, "What kind of wine are you going to order this evening?" If none was ordered, I would then order for myself and indicate to the Wine Steward to whom the wine should ONLY be served.

24 cruises: 10 Holland America, 3 Princess, 3 Pacific Far East Line, 2 Royal Viking Line, 1 each: Cunard, NCL, RCCL, Sitmar, American Hawaii, Home Lines

[rkacruiser]

Just another thought for those who enjoy wine--

If one enjoys wine, Princess usually offers during the cruise an excellent wine tasting event and a special wine tasting activity called the Maitre d's Wine Club. Both are well done, I have found. The Maitre d's Wine Club offers the chance of tasting some wines in the high moderate to expensive category(i.e Opus One at $149/bottle).

24 cruises: 10 Holland America, 3 Princess, 3 Pacific Far East Line, 2 Royal Viking Line, 1 each: Cunard, NCL, RCCL, Sitmar, American Hawaii, Home Lines

[mii]

Rkacruiser said it perfectly. That is exactly the way we do it on the ship. Nines times out of ten someone else shares our wine and the following night they then buy the wine. It has worked so far; knock on wood.


Marilyn

[sultan_sfo]

We are just novice cruisers having been only on 2 cruises. On both cruises we were at a traditional table for 6. On the first cruise, a frequent cruising couple at our table, ordered by the bottle and did not share. On that cruise, we ordered by the glass except for the one bottle we got at the wine tasting. We shared that with the other couple. On the long 15 day cruise, we took about 10 bottles with us and purchased at the wine tasting plus at ports. So we had a bottle each night except for the first night. When the waiter opens the bottle, he/she will automatically pour ONLY for the couple that orders the wine. We made a request that everyone be served at our table and always invited the waiter and asst. waiter to also try the wine because we had some very nice wines with us. The waiters always poured more for us! The camaraderie we maintained with our group was well worth sharing the wine. Whatever you choose, let the waiters know discreetly your wish. As regular wine drinkers, we feel that you will be better off just ordering by the glass except for the wines you may bring on board. Remember that wines brought on board will most likely be charged corkage. /Sultan

Island Princess SFO - FLL 9/2003
Star Princess -- Alaska 6/2002

[samscruiser]

IMHO, ordering wine should be no different than ordering any other type of drink. Each couple, individual, etc. should do their own thing just like they would with a mixed drink, beer, soda, whatever. This is especially true since they will recork your bottle and serve it at future sittings.
There's much less chance for misunderstanding, feeling imposed upon, having to force down a vintage you don't care for, etc.
Now if everyone at the table has known each other for a while and arragements made in advance, that's a horse of a different color.

94 Fantasy - Bahamas
95 Fantasy - Bahamas
02 Inspiration - West Carrib
03 Sensation - Exotic West Carrib
04 Royal Princess - European Explorer

[Toto2Kansas]

When we order wine at dinner, we make sure there is enough to share, just as some have stated above. I think it is very rude to request a larger table and then just ignore others that you are sitting with. If I can't afford to buy wine for the entire table to share, then we just don't order wine. If I don't want to share, then we request a table for two.
That is my opinion of coarse and that is also the way we solve this problem of shareing or not shareing wine in the dining room on a cruise.
I have never sailed on any ship where this practice was not returned by the others sitting with us. It is a great trade off. But then again you will find those that consider you shareing your win a freebie and then when they order wine, they will not even offer. Human nature, I just can't figure it out and never will I guess.

Email: [email]LoveCruisinFor2@yahoo.com[/email]
Caribbean Princess 8/14/04
Tahitian Princess 10/14/04
RCI-Legend of the Seas 3/27/05 Panama Canal.

[ginak1112]

If you and your husband were both drinking wine I would suggest that you offer to the others at your table. Since it is just yourself drinking, why not order by the glass the first night and see if anyone else at the table orders wine also. If they do you then might suggest to share on the following nights. If you only drink one glass a night it might be nice to order by the glass and try a different one every night.

[dsfischer]

Thanks for the replies so far - excellent suggestions! However, I have to laugh at myself - if 9 people at the table (excluding my husband since he doesn't drink wine)want to try the wine, I'll have to order several bottles to get my 2 glasses! I do think sharing a bottle of wine with tablemates is a wonderful way to try new wines and make new friends. But, as some point out, not everyone has the same taste in wine. And, it's possible not everyone would want to provide wine for the whole table.

I did attend the wine tasting on my last cruise and really enjoyed the opportunity to experience a wide selection of wines. Hopefully, it'll be offered again on this cruise! Maybe I'll find that special bottle that my husband will enjoy!

[LARGIN]

Guess that is why I only sit with known cruismates or at a table for two.. I am not snobbish but do enjoy fine wines. I prefer to eat slow and enjoy my meal and my wife and I usually finish a bottle of red wine with dinner. My normal tablemates sometimes share a taste of wine that the other is not familiar with but most of the time we do not. It would upset me if I shared a bottle of Brunello or a good Cabernet and my dinner partners brought out a bottle of Rose that they received from their travel agent.

9/5 Coral Princess Alaska
[img]http://escati.linkopp.net/cgi-bin/countdown.cgi?trgb=000000&srgb=00ff00&prgb=0000ff&cdt=2004;9;4;21;30;00&timezone=GMT-1000[/img]

[Hlitner]

This is a great question! When we first started cruising (about 27 years ago) it was the norm to offer to share your wine with the table. In those days, most ordered wine and did the same so it all worked out in the end. I think that these days, the etiquette has changed to something quite flexible. We generally order wine on the first night (and every other night) and do not offer to share (assuming the table is for 6 or more). On the 2nd night we usually have a feel for our table mates and things take their natural course. We have been at tables where we all share.. but most of the time every couple does "their own thing!"

Hank

[imsulin]

I guess we've been very lucky! Way-back-when, wine by the glass was actually included with dinner, and if you wanted more, you bought a bottle, and offered to share. On my last three HAL cruises, it was very funny to note that at our table/s for 6/8, on the first night, we all looked at each other with the same thought in mind, and ended up with each couple buying a bottle of wine for dinner each night, and sharing with others. This is certainly my preference, and has led to making some pretty good friends!

[spongerob]

[I]My favorite wine is that which has been purchased by another [/I] - Aristotle

I think it is polite to offer, but not expect reciprocation. If the tablemates aren't willing to return the favor, just don't offer again. They probably aren't wine drinkers anyway.

Don't accept an offer if you have no intention to return the favor, or at worst accept "just enough for a taste."

I've been fortunate to be seated with fellow oenophiles on occasion. We sure run up a tab when that happens!

Completed:
Sea Princess, Royal Princess, Grand Princess (3X), Caribbean Princess, Golden Princess

[socrafty]

My husband and I can and often do drink a bottle of wine at dinner--especially and long, several course dinner. We usually save special wines to bring on the next cruise and bring to the table whatever will go with the dinner we plan to have. Other than "atste or so" we pretty much do our own thing and assume everyone else will do the same!

[Froufie]

Interesting topic - when I sailed many years ago on Costa they had a wine "package" you could purchse - something like 6 or 7 bottles for a specified price - not being big drinkers we did end up sharing with our tablemates (table of six) and they did the same - in fact we ended up "tipping" our room steward w/some of the leftover bottles!

I also agree that if sitting at a table of six or eight one bottle of wine won't go far if everyone wants to enjoy it - may need to get a couple bottles for the table???...but what happens when PC dining??? I understand since there are no "assigned" tables you may be sitting with a different "group" each night (we like to meet others while travelling and I doubt we will request a table for 2 unless we are feeling tired and unsociable)?? Hard to do the sharing thing and reciprocation...I would feel bad if I shared someone's wine and was unable to return the favor on a subsequent evening....

Froufie [img]http://messages.cruisecritic.com/infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif[/img]

[Lynda90]

I vote for everyone buying their own wine, drinks, or whatever they want. I am very unknowledgeable about wine and I'm sure I'm not alone. I do like a good martini, however. Special, expensive wines would be wasted on me, but I might order a glass of house wine once in a while. I know, shudder the thought of a house wine. I find the whole wine thing extremely awkward. I have been at tables where wine was ordered for the table, and we followed suit because it was the right thing to do. However, I much prefer to order what I want and not feel obligated. I know I can decline the offered wine and I probably would. However, if I did except, I would reciprocate (sp?). Anyway, that's just one person's opinion.

Lynda

Lynda

[imsulin]

I've never done this with "personal choice" or "freestyle dining". Good food for thought! (With some good Chardonnay or Merlot!)

[Lou33]

[quote name='rkacruiser']It would then be my expectation that on future nights, those who have drunk my wine will then order and offer their wine. A regular rotation pattern for ordering ought to develop. And, in fact, I have found that both the Wine Steward as well as myself become very uncomfortable when such a pattern does not develop.[/QUOTE]

In my opinion, the easiest way to avoid that is for each party to order their own wine. But if you really want to buy wine for the table, do it out the kindness in your heart, but never expect anything in return.

Others at the table may have different feelings about wine. If they are offered on the first night, they may feel it is impolite to decline. Some people have to drink expensive wine. To others, cheap wine is just as good. Others may like wine, but not every night. Others may not go to the dining room every night. If people are "expected" to buy wine in "rotation" that is sure to make some people uncomfortable.

Actually, the first night in the dining room I am hoping that nobody offers to buy wine for the table. It's just a ticket for misunderstandings. It only makes me uncomfortable to be put in a position where we need to reciprocate. Will we even be in the dining room when it's "our turn"? Is our bottle as expensive as the last bottle?

Somebody also mentioned that the camaraderie from sharing wine makes it all worth it. On our last cruise, each party bought their own wine, and some didn't drink at all, but we couldn't have had a better time.

[Coral]

I have actually seen it happen both ways.

On our Christmas cruise, we had PC but the same people at our table each night. Purely a coincidence - but everyone at our table had received wine through their TA or Princess. Each night - someone brought a bottle of wine and that night, someone would indicate who would bring it the following night. It all worked very well. We brought a bottle on board and received a bottle courtesy of the Captian.

I have been on other cruises where people order for just themselves.

[GottoCruise]

Very interesting coments---I agree with a lot of what's been said.....
My comments for what they're worth :-
Cruising is not what it used to be ---as others have said - years ago it was common practise for each couple at the table to buy the evening's wine in rotation....with each bringing the TA's "gift wine", the occasional bottle of champagne from "winning" a quiz or something, it was not a huge expense for each couple individually. Each evening there was both Red and White at the table. and then, of course, - it was best when you were seated with a ship's Officer at your table- there was wine with each course, - compliments of the ship.....and you got to hear all the ship's gossip during dinner. Yes - It used to be that way....SIGH!! even the occasional dinner with the Captain.....I miss those days!! (and the size of the ships too - hate these new floating cities!!))
But back to "reality" the here and now--- ----The first time we were seated at a table where a couple ordered and drank their own wine without offerring to the table - we were "kind of" shocked and offended and thought it was very rude -
However, more often than not, lately, that's what we encounter.....with the excuse that, "my wife doesn't drink" or "I only drink red" (or white as the case may be).
We always offer to share our wine if we are at a table with others...- some have the courtesy to refuse if they do not want to do the same, others take but do not reciprocate...just human nature, easy to spot very quickly those with "social graces".......
Most often now, if we are on an extended cruise, we request a table for 2 - If we meet others, Pre-cruise, or early on, with common interests, we ask the dining room Capt. to change our table. There is no problem with this - it is much easier than to ask to be "re-seated" at another table. We have had some "horrific" tablemate experiences that we don't want EVER to happen again.
We don't mind dining by ourselves at dinner at all...there's always company to be had for breakfast and lunch at those "open seatings", and NO problem with the wine!!! -
So, if you see us on a cruise dining alone - we are NOT snobs - just cautious....
JMHO Renee (aka GotToCruise)

[hulagirl47]

I was watching a show on the Travel Channel that dealt with "behind the scenes on cruise ships." They mentioned that you shouldn't bother buying "high end" wines on cruises because wine on board ship is not stored in a manner to ensure the best quality out of the "high end" wines, and that it's better to go with more moderately priced wines. I don't know if that's accurate for all ships, but thought it was interesting.

We usually bring wine and champagne with us, as there are very nice wineries near us which we enjoy. The corkage fee is not bad -- $8-$10 per bottle, so it makes it possible for us to bring enough to share!!

[gopher's girl]

This is an interesting topic. On my first and only cruise so far, we were in the PC dining room and every night we purchased a bottle of wine (on the less expensive side) to drink at dinner. We never asked nor were we asked to share with others at the table, and honestly did not think anything of it. Each night we repeated this because it worked well and we each had 2 glasses of wine with an extra splash at the end of the bottle. Every night we ate with 6 or 8 other people, and every night there was at least one other couple who also got their own bottle of wine. Nobody made any faces or said anything about this, because everyone was offered the same wine list. We encountered many people who just didn't drink, and that was ok too. On at least one night, someone asked what we were ordering because my friend told them I was good with the wine list (it's a hobby of mine but I'm by no means a wine snob), so I guess they were asking for a recommendation but not hinting at sharing. There was a couple one night that was appalled that we were having a second glass and then finishing the bottle by ourselves - they were rather vocal about it - nobody else minded, but we really just laughed about that later.

I'm sure that in traditional dining I would look for someone to share with - especially if it meant I could have 2 types of wine at one sitting!! But in PC I will probably continue to do what I did on my first cruise, unless the opportunity arises.

[SharB]

We have been lucky enough to have traditional seating on all of our seven cruises. We like to order "by the glass" the first evening, since we're usually too tired for a second. At that time we can tell if others drink wine with dinner and if so, what their preferences are. It's a good ice breaker and topic of conversation, besides the "how many cruises have you been on" and "what's your favorite cruiseline".

Shar

[tom-n-jules]

This has also gone very well for us in the past, TG! Never any problems - even at a large-ish table - with 'taking turns' buying, sometimes 1 couple buying the white, another the red on the same night.

I think our past luck has to do with the fact that we always do traditional dining, so you get a better feel for people and it makes reciprocating the following nights all the more comfortable/easier!