Wearing Hats Onboard

[Ehpride]

I hope you have a wonderful time on your cruise.

 

I'd do whatever will make you will feel most comfortable. During the day, a hat won't make you look out of place, especially outside in the sun. Plus as others have said, you'll need it for the sun protection for your scalp. At night, if you don't want to wear a wig, I don't see any problem with you going without a head covering. Since it's your vacation, you may want to escape that part of your life, but if you'd like to talk about it so people understand, that's great too. I can't imagine that anyone would deliberately make you feel uncomfortable. I don't think that it's a topic that you need to avoid for controversy reasons. I hardly consider that a topic that you'd get into a big argument over. A lot of people are touched by cancer in some way at some point in their lives so there shouldn't be a reason for you to feel uncomfortable or alone.

 

Good luck with everything and have a great time!

 

Beijo, you're so supportive of your mom! She must be very lucky to have you around :)

[Bsan1221]

I would not be put off by you or anyone else. My friend was diagnosed with cancer and her hair started falling out so she decided might as well shave it all off. I have never seen anyone stare or point. I have seen her friends and even strangers offer support to her everywhere she goes.

 

Also, I do not think its anyone elses business. So go on and enjoy your cruise and don't worry about what other people may think. They probably have miserable lives and have nothing better to do than critize others who are comfortable in their own skin.

 

MHS4- There are only so many pleasant topics to talk about. On every cruise my table mates and I have shared many incredible stories both plesant and "unpleasant". Many stories are touching and others touch your heart. Maybe you should keep an open mind.

[Sail With Me]

MHS4 - its seems that you are going though live with your eyes shut. I don't see how a person could sit at the dinner table for 2 hours every night , for seven days without any " un pleasant " topics coming up. It seems that you would only like dinner mates that are unoppionated in any subject. There is only so much you could speak about, that you would consider appropriate before horrible akward silences would come up, and that would be ten times worse than some one speaking about thier cancer for a moment, to clear the air.

Anyways, kamloops crusers is my mum, so I might be bias, but I think she would look stunning with a wig, hat , or your tanned head . Do whatever makes you happy, its your cruise, and it shouldn't be ruined by some one else opinions. Plus, i think a formal picture with Dad , with two shiney heads and healthy smiles would be amazingly beautiful.

thanks every one else for thier suport for my mummy.

 

Hi Natalie,

 

You are now added to my list of heroes and there are exactly two on that list, you and your mom!!! You are so very special, and Bob and I cannot wait to meet you on those aft balconies when we all sail together in December!!! Of course the fact that you like babies with orange hair does not hurt either!

 

Thank you for posting and letting everyone know how special your mom is! We also think that a photo of your mom and dad with those "healthy smiles and shiney heads" would be an awesome picture. It would certainly be one we would want to have as a rememberance of our cruise together!

 

We send you a big hug!!!

 

Karen and Bob

[Jane110]

Sorry, but I strongly disagree with this concept of talking about it -- I for one go on vacation to leave behind the "real" world and all its ugliness. Disease, like politics, is NOT an acceptable conversation, especially at mealtimes.

 

 

I would welcome anyone at my table who can go through chemo and still well enough to take a cruise. My hat's off to them! And no, I don't want to spend the evening discussing their illness - they probably don't want to either.

 

My point was that a bald woman will stand out - and people at the table may be thrilled that she's well enough to take a cruise and happy to express their support and good wishes. But unless she breaks the ice, most people will not say anything out of respect for her or fearing putting their foot in their mouth. Saying one or two sentences that you're fighting cancer and plan to make it through, is not going into detail.

 

I too don't want to hear details about my tablemates gall bladder removal or whatever else ails them. But I would be happy to have a cancer fighter at my table and cheer them on to future health.

[Julie of the North]

Hello Sue

 

I was diagnoised with breast cancer (DCIS/ductal carcinoma in situ) just 2 months ago today, 4 weeks before my 44th birthday. I am a 3rd generation bc patient. My mom celebrated 35 years of survival last month and found her lump one year to the day that she buried her mother who lost her battle. Mom was only 39. Grandma was aware of her lump and "ignored" it as she was busy caring for Gramps who had recently suffered a heart attack. If Grandma had taken care of it promptly, odds are she would have beat it. My mom had a total radical mastectomy. They removed much of her axillary area when they harvested lymph and not one lymph was positive. That is just the way they did things back then. They just "took it ALL".

 

I just want to say that this battle is YOURS and ALL YOURS and however you choose to address it is YOUR RIGHT! I could so care less what others think. I speak openly and frequently about my story and my family history. Education is the key and I feel that God put this here for a reason. This cancer affects far too many women a year for ANY woman to ignore it. I had a lumpectomy and further treatment (radiation and Tamoxifen) are optional but I have chosen to "go the distance" as I want to decrease my odds of reoccurance as much as possible. Early DCIS was often undetectable a few years ago but with better mammography it is now found so soon that there is nearly a 100% cure rate.

 

All of my cruise critic friends who are sailing with me know about my cancer and they offered many words of support and encouragement. Good friends and a loving family is undoubtably the biggest factor in staying strong.

 

Most women hear the word breast cancer and just shiver. With so much of it in my family (also an Aunt on my father's side) I must admit I really never thought "will I get if?", rather "WHEN will I get it?". I started mammograms at age 26 and did my monthly exams each and every month. The cancer I had was so small it may have taken years to be felt with a self exam. Mammography has come a long way and they are so very important. Yearly detection is SO important. I told my friends that I had a "specectomy" as my cancer was detected while it was still a speck!

 

My advice to you is spend time with people who love and support you and make this not so pleasant time a one of learning and renewal. I just smiled and thought "atta girl" as I read about your trip to the spa. Chemo can be a rough road and you need to pamper yourself in whatever way you wish...this is YOUR battle, remember?

 

On the cruise I would be careful, lots of sunscreen and cover your head when your in the sun. I think a wig in the tropics sounds like torture. TOO HOT! I lost a dear friend last year to cervial cancer, she was only 41. Cheryl went through chemo 3 times and I must say that even totally bald she was cute as could be. She only wore a hat because she said her head got cold. I feel so blessed that I do not have to recieve chemo but if I did I doubt that I would cover my head with a wig. My hubby of nearly 25 years is bald and don't they say the longer you are married the more you start to resemble each other? LOL! Well then, you and hubby should just "hang bald" together and wear some BIG smiles!

 

I look forward to my cruise next month and when I return I will start my treatments. I plan to have the time of my life on that ship next month and when I hit Orient Beach in St. Maarten, I will be letting the sun shine on the "girls". If people don't want to see "perfect breasts', I advise they stay off that beach on April 11th. LOL!

 

I wear a pink breast cancer awareness bracelet and every time I look at that pink circle of plastic I thank God to have found my cancer early and to remind women how very important mammography is. I found a pink hat at WalMart with a pink ribbon on it so after I bought it I of course had to run to Kohls and get a pink swimsuit too! We gotta be good to ourselves!

 

I hope you enjoy every minute of your cruise. I will think of you often and add you to my prayers. Continue to stay strong and never forget this is YOUR battle.

 

Best wishes,

 

Julie

[Sail With Me]

Julie,

 

Your words are beautiful and say it all.

 

We will keep you in our prayers along with our dear friend Sue! Thank you for sharing your story. We wish you a wonderful cruise and easy treatments when you return.

 

Karen and Bob

[SheilaNC]

Hi, all,

This group is becoming another support group for me. Thought I'd share my experience at a Komen Affiliate Volunteer Recognition event last night. I looked around the room at the several hundred volunteers (survivors and co-survivors) and saw such joy, warmth and friendship. Coach Kay Yow of the NC State women's Basketball team and a 2 time survivor was the keynote speaker and she spoke about the passion and Olympic spirit that she felt in the room (she is also a past Olympic coach). The event brought tears of hope to our eyes and hope to our hearts. Together we will win the war against this foe.

 

I salute all on this board who are survivors, undergoing treatment, caregivers, co-survivors, and supporters. We are in this together and I feel so comforted by your comments.

 

Sue, Natalie, Karen and Bob - have a wonderful cruise and wishes for many more in a long and healthy future.

[Hoyaheel]

I really feel that I am simply reminding one of Good Manners.

 

Yeah, because everyone wants THAT in a dinner companion:rolleyes:

 

Kamloops--to echo what most other people here are saying, in the evenings wear whatever makes you most comfortable (physically AND emotionally) and during the day--protect your skin! I've been nagging my bald husband for years about sunscreen and it finally sank in a couple years ago that every day he puts on the sunscreen and when he's actually working outside, he wears a hat too. In the summer (we live in the south where it's HOT and HUMID) he prefers a somewhat-tight weave straw hat--enough air circulation to be an improvement over a ball cap, but still a tight enough weave that you do get a little added sun protection.

 

I've been re-watching the final season of Sex & the City on dvd and last night was one of the last episodes--where Samantha keeps having really bad hot flashed because of her chemo and rips off her wig in the middle of her inspirational speech--inspiring others in the crowd to do the same--so of course I thought of this thread. If a wig is hot & uncomfortable for you, don't wear it!

[Nliedel]

I am coming into this thread so very late and I am sorry.

 

Bag your fellow cruisers, you aren't baring your bottom in a thong so go hatless. I say if you have a nicely shaped head and are not self concious about it then you should go as you are. Not only will you feel free (and cool in the heat) but the truth is you have nothing to hide. Your head is a badge of courage and never think otherwise. My thoughts and prayers are with you. My mother in law had colo rectal cancer. This January we sat together as a family and toasted her with tears in our eyes, because she sat there with us smiling at all of us. She passed her five year mark and I pray that your family will have that joyous celebration too. Hugs.

[Nliedel]

You have all totally misunderstood my comment/request. I have no objection whatsoever to who ever wishes to travel, cruise, etc. You are welcome to sit beside me at the pool, on a tour, and even at dinner -- but do not give me blow-by-blow descriptions of your plight.

 

.

 

I have read every post on this topic and I found noplace where the OP said she was going to talk about it as a subject for conversation. A bald head is not an invitation and it would never occur to me to ask someone about it unless we becamse close.

 

Life is everywhere and so is sadness, even on a cruise. You cannot hide from it but if you really need to then may I suggest a table for two.

[KamloopsCruisers]

Thank you ladies for all of your kind words. I spent a day at the spa yesterday - pure bliss! My DH really knows how to spoil me.

 

This afternoon my dear daughter and I went shopping for a wig. Oh how we laughed at how I looked wearing some of them. After a considerable search, we settled on a darling with red/brown medium length cut - ever so different from what I have now. Some of you know that I lost my darling son in an accident several years ago. When I finally found "the" wig - my favourite song played at Mark's funeral came on the radio. Mark had gorgeous, thick, shoulder length hair. I think he was sending a message that he too approved of my wig choice and he is with me through this. Once at home, I modelled my "new do" for my DH and he loves it. So, I will wear a wig (sometimes) on board the ship. I did have to promise our daughter that her Dad and I will get our pictures taken on board all decked out in our formal wear - and bald heads and beautiful smiles. She wants a picture as a housewarming gift when she moves out in a few months.

 

I know I have a difficult road ahead, but I will carry your messages of support with me always. I am blessed to have such a good support network - and the fact that soon I'll be happily cruising again.

[Nliedel]

I am sorry you too belong to the club of mothers that have buried children. It's one club I wish we could all revoke our membership in. I too have lost a son. There just aren't words to express what I am feeling in my heart for you but I am so glad you had a happy reminder of him today.

 

Mom (my MIL) and I went to look at wigs but she didn't like any of them. She ended up with scarves, tons of them.

[KamloopsCruisers]

I am sorry you too belong to the club of mothers that have buried children. It's one club I wish we could all revoke our membership in. I too have lost a son. There just aren't words to express what I am feeling in my heart for you but I am so glad you had a happy reminder of him today.

 

Mom (my MIL) and I went to look at wigs but she didn't like any of them. She ended up with scarves, tons of them.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I agree this is one club I wish no one had to join. And, while I miss Mark very, very, much - I'm in no hurry to join him on the other side and I keep telling him so - often. Just hope he is hearing my message loud and clear.

 

I hope the memories of your son bring you comfort and peace.

[FundyGirl]

Hi Sue,

 

I was diagnosed with breast cancer right around this time last year...Feb 10th to be exact. One year later and I am feeling wonderful and preparing to go on a fantastic cruise to celebrate. I'm looking at my wig sitting on my dresser and laughing. How I thought I needed that wig! I could not imagine being bald. But I can count on one hand the number of times I wore it. I wore hats, scarves but most of the time went au naturel. We did a lot of boating last summer and I even managed to get a nice little tan using lots of sunscreen. And I got more compliments on my appearance than when I had a full head of hair! My mother-in-law told me she had never noticed how blue my eyes were!! :) Best of luck with your treatments and have a wonderful cruise.

 

God Bless,

 

Kathy

 

P.S. My hair came back grey (I'm only 47) and curly!!!! Ouch! :eek:

[SheilaNC]

Sue,

You are my hero...I'm sure that your wig look lovely and will be just what you need when you want to wear it. I'd love to see both pictures. Your daughter sounds so special - I hope she gets the formal picture that she requested. What a lovely family and friends you have. I'll bet that Mark is smiling down on you and happy to wait a long time for a reunion.

 

Keep the messages coming when you return from the cruise so that we can all know what a wonderful time you'll have.

[ger_77]

I also extend my best wishes to you in your journey through cancer. I wish you a speedy recovery and the gentle arms of family and friends to see you through.

 

Go ahead and enjoy your cruise in whatever fashion feels best to you - whether it be a cute/funky hat, a scarf, a wig (some are made with very lightweight bases), or au naturel. There will always be somebody who will disagree with your choice, no matter what it is, so do what pleases you and your dear husband.

 

I want you to know that my very good friend (we met on a millennium 1999-2000 cruise) is now in her 9th year being cancer free after her occurrence of breast cancer. It is for people like her and you that I proudly wear my pink bracelet and do whatever I can to help in the fight against breast cancer. God bless you, and please let us know how your cruise goes.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[cruisinfromcanada]

None of us know how long we'll be on this earth so we should always do what we can to enjoy life.

 

As 1 poster said, most people will look at your bald head and be happy that you are fighting this horrible disease in a way that makes you happy.

 

My first cruise (2004) was to celebrate going into remission for Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. Now it looks like my second cruise (next month) will be spent thinking of the treatments that I may have to start on my return home. That being said, I'm not changing any of my plans to have a great time on this cruise.

 

Kamloops, from one Canadian to another, hang in there and keep a positive attitude. I would also be honoured to sit across from you (bald head and all) at the dinner table. It looks like your sailing the Panama right after us. I think you were originally sailing the Infinity with us but had to change your plans.

 

MHS4, I hope you never have to make the choice of going "au naturel" or wearing a hat, wig, scarf, turban or whatever on your head on a hot, humid day. I did it a couple of times to avoid making other people uncomfortable. Never again. It's my life and I'm going to live it.

 

Connie

[ChefPeg]

Sue,

 

First let me say that I am very sorry to hear of your illness. I wish you a very speedy recovery. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your lovely family.

 

Whatever you decide, hat, wig or natural, I would be thrilled to have you at my table. If you wished to discuss your illness at the dinner table or anywhere else for that matter I would be honored that you did.

 

I have known several lovely ladies who have had to shave their heads for one reason or another(cancer, alopecia) who went natural. Let me say that I admired them for their courage.

 

I am a close friend of Karen and Bob. I was looking around the boards today and I found this board, I want to commend you on your positive attitiude and wish you and yours the very best.

 

Take care,

Peggy

[catkoe1]

Hi Sue,

Well, I am hoping Ron and I share your table with Karen and Bob. I think we are and I am DAMN PROUD to be sitting at your table. Whatever you choose to do is perfectly fine with us...... Like Karen we will be there to toast your decision to be sailing with us..... We will have the BEST TABLE ON THE SHIP..... (probably the most laughter for darn sure)!!! We sure do enjoy the company of our tablemates on cruises. Much love from Ron and Cathy!!!

 

Here's a toast to good health, happiness and the month going quickly so we can all be together PARTYING!!!

 

HAPPY CRUISIN TO ALL :cool: (look I have already started with my no hat, no hair look, just sunglasses!!!) I am too cool looking!!

[Cruise Arizona]

I have been away from the boards for a while and I just came across this thread.

 

I had just been telling some friends how nice the regular cruise fashion ladies are, and this thread has reaffirmed my faith in the kindness of people.

 

I wish there was a teary eyed smily, because that is me right now.

 

Having a sense of humor and keeping things light great medicine. It will help you in your recovery. So I think Jane's original comments were right on target. I have a friends who is finishing up her chemo and she laughs about her wig. She bought an inexpensive synthetic wig, that looks really good, but she says she can't wear it when she is cooking because if she opens the oven it will melt and frizz the wig.

 

The wig you described sound gorgeous, and I know you'll look beautiful in it and have a wonderful cruise. But the matching formal baldies picture sounds terrific too.

 

Also, get some toupe tape if you are going wear it on deck. My friend here in town tells the funniest story about how she and a friend had to chase her wig across the Sam's Club parking lot

[cruisinfromcanada]

Suzanne,

I laughed so hard when I read your post.

 

I really hate cooking and used the wig as my excuse for not helping with the turkey on Christmas day a couple of years ago. I also almost lost it in the wind a few times. My closest friends and I have shared many a fun filled get together laughing about my "hair" episodes. I remember a day when a lady who was obviously not comfortable with the "C" word told my friends off for laughing at me but they all knew it was what kept me sane through it all.

 

Sue, be strong and remember that laughter is the best medicine.

 

Connie

[KamloopsCruisers]

Suzanne, thanks for the tip about the toupe tape - your story sure made me chuckle. When I bought my wig, the saleswoman told me to be very careful when cooking, especially around the oven. She suggested I take a vacation from my kitchen duties - using my wig as an excuse. I asked her if I could convince my family that it was also hazardous for me to vaccuum too.:D Actually, my DH is a real sweetie and has arranged a cleaning service for me. I'm a spoiled, kept woman.

 

Our daughter went to her "Laughing Yoga" class yesterday. Natalie claims that laughing like she does at these classes is like using the treadmill for 30 minutes. Think I might join her next week.

 

Again, thanks to each of you for your kind words.

[Chorts]

KamloopsCruiser,

 

I would adopt this attitude: I went through this......they didn't. I'm bald BECAUSE I went through this. If someone has a problem with your bald head, then it's THEIR problem.

 

I really don't mean this in a 'chip on the shoulder' way. Just a fact of life. So, if it were me, I'd just go bald and not let what others may think bother me. Besides, you'll probably look stunning!

[zotzer]

Wow! I stumbled on this thread and have had a heartwarming morning read. What a fantastic group.

 

Now Sue...you look to be a gorgeous woman. Shave that head, do yourself up, wear some big funky earrings, and strutt your stuff around proudly with that beautiful bald head. Frankly, I think that's a better look than trying to cover it up with a scarf or hat. Be proud of who you are (I can tell that everyone here is!)

 

I agree with your hubby...you two will make an adorable matching pair!

 

Have a fabulous cruise!

Tracy

[critterchick]

I just wanted to add my wishes for a full recovery. Do what makes you feel comfortable, although as others have said, mind the sun!