Wearing Hats Onboard

[KamloopsCruisers]

Here's the thing - wearing hats has never been my thing. Some people look "fab" and then there are people like me who just can't seem to pull it off.

 

We're booked to sail through the Panama next month and I've recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm feeling good and the chemo hasn't worn me out, so we've made the decision to proceed with our long-awaited cruise. But, I'm torn about the hat/wig thing. In my favour I have a nicely shaped head - but don't know how my fellow passengers would like to sit across from me at dinner looking at it. My DH is bald as a cue ball, so he thinks perhaps it will look cute, but I'm not so sure. I've purchased a few hats and scarves already - even though I still have my hair - but know this won't last much longer - think dry, dry, brittle hair that no amount of conditioner will save.

 

Wigs are somewhat uncomfortable and hot, especially in the warm, humid climate we'll be sailing in. So, do I forego vanity and go "au natural", wear my silly looking hats or bit the bullet and wear a wig?

 

P.S. I promise not to wear jeans and a ball cap in the dining room.:D

[Ollie_WA]

First I would like to say...sorry for you diagnosis. I say be proud and go el'naturel. I really can't imagine it bothering anyone.

I am like you and feel I do not look good in hats so I never wear them either. I just had a friend have brain surgery,and she had to have her head shaved...in my opinion she looks more beautiful now then she ever did!

Enjoy your wonderful cruise

Ollie:)

[Binney]

Since you decided to take the cruise, it sounds as though you are trying to go on with your life as usual. In that case, I would opt for the wig or hat of some sort. You may not want to make your illness the center of attention.

 

On the other hand, you may be too tired in another month to care about vanity and the decision will be made for you.

 

Whatever you choose, hold your head high!

[SheilaNC]

As a breast cancer survivor, I say do whatever you are comfortable with. You might need to answer some questions (consider if you wish to share with strangers) and you might get some stares...but so be it. You need to be in charge of your wonderful vacation. I applaud you for going forward with your trip... one of the positive windfalls of my diagnosis is the number of wonderful trips that we've taken in the past few years - I now know that there is no way to forecast the amount of time that each of us has and make the most of the precious gift of every day. If you decide to go natural - be sure to use copious amounts of sunscreen since your scalp and other areas of hair loss are not usually open to the sun.

 

I wish you the best...Enjoy!!

[LandLockedInAZ]

KamloopsCruiser, I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis but wish to congratulate you on your positive attitude and upcoming cruise! How wonderful that you are able to take a trip that you have dreamed of for so long!

I don't have anything to add to the above posts regarding hats or scarves. I'm not much of a hat person myself, so I can understand where you're coming from. But if you do feel like you'd rather disguise your situation so you don't need to talk about it while you're on vacation, perhaps there is someone in the retail business or a support group who could help you determine the most fashionable way to pull it off?

[spookwife]

keep in mind that you will be even more suseptable to sunburn without hair.. so you are probably going to want some sort of protection especially while outside wandering around. Lots of sunscreen will be necessary in any event.

 

If you feel wigs will be too hot and uncomfortable, might I suggest a close fitting turban in a nice absorbant terry material or something similar?

[Jane110]

I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis and look forward to when you tell us that "everything's fine now!"

 

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer and I think you should do what you're most comfortable with.

 

If you do decide to go "au natural" and sit down at the dinner table and say nothing, it'll be like the elephant in the room. No one will want to be rude and ask, and there will be some uneasiness. I think it would be up to you to break the ice and talk about how you're winning the war on cancer and trying out a new fashion look at the same time. Humor always helps. If you keep it positive no one will be uncomfortable and everyone can have a great time.

 

Do wear a hat out in the sun AND sunblock!

 

Sincere wishes for a quick and complete recovery. Have a GREAT cruise!

 

Jane

[crucero-amante]

My thoughts are to wear a cap or hat while in the sun and no wig or scarf or turban while on board...dining etc.

I doubt too many people are going to ask questions since most people already know or understand why a woman would be bald.

I tend to be a natural kind of woman and I hate to see women with too much vanity especially after having such a life altering experience. Be proud that you are a survivor.

 

Take care and have a wonderful time.

[lszu]

Kamloops - First off, let me wish you a full and speedy recovery.

 

Definitely wear a hat during the day.

 

For evening, do what makes you comfortable. If going "au natural" is O.K. with you, does it matter what others think? If you'd prefer some coverage, why not a funky scarf?

[MHS4]

talk about how you're winning the war on cancer and trying out a new fashion look at the same time. Humor always helps. If you keep it positive no one will be uncomfortable and everyone can have a great time.

 

Sorry, but I strongly disagree with this concept of talking about it -- I for one go on vacation to leave behind the "real" world and all its ugliness. Disease, like politics, is NOT an acceptable conversation, especially at mealtimes.

 

This does not mean that I lack compassion, but do feel strongly that we need to leave behind the everyday cares and woes for some quiet enjoyment time.

[Barb Nahoumi]

I am so sorry to learn of your diagnosis. So many strides have been made with Breast Cancer------my Mom was diagnosed 10 years ago, and is cancerfree now.

 

I agree with the other posters about wearing sunhats & lots of sunscreen while you're outside. You need to protect your scalp.

 

I have seen catalogs with hats for chemo patients. Many of them are very cute and attractive. Off hand, I cant remember the name of them.

Have a wonderful cruise.

 

Barb

[KamloopsCruisers]

Sorry, but I strongly disagree with this concept of talking about it -- I for one go on vacation to leave behind the "real" world and all its ugliness. Disease, like politics, is NOT an acceptable conversation, especially at mealtimes.

 

This does not mean that I lack compassion, but do feel strongly that we need to leave behind the everyday cares and woes for some quiet enjoyment time.

 

Wow!:eek: :eek: Thankfully, four of our dining guests are understanding of my illness and have offered support and encouragement here on the cc boards. I am happy that you won't be joining us - perhaps you should stay at home in your "perfect" world. I understand from reading your post that imperfect people are free to sail, as long as they they're invisible to you. It will be hard for you to have a perfect vacation, when others like myself, or those who suffer from obesity, and other ailments "get out there" and embrace what life has offered us. As the mother of a disabled daughter, I am more than offended by your statements.

 

I'm off for a day at the spa for some pampering and tranquility. I'm confident that my experience there will be full of bliss and that the spa attendents won't be put off by my one double DD size breast and my one barely B size. That's another dilemna I'll deal with later - how to look fab in my swimsuit, despite my lop-sided "girls".

 

Thanks to the other posters for your advice and prayers. Think I'll try on a few wigs tomorrow.

 

Sue

[Sail With Me]

Sue Dear Friend,

 

NEVER forget that whatever you wear on the outside it is your wonderful warm caring big heart that is what makes you so special to those of us who are your friends.

 

As long as you protect yourself from the sun when outside, we yield to your decision about whether or not you go natural. To us you will always be beautiful!! Pay no mind to anyone who thinks that they do not take their unperfect world with them on a cruise ship. They bring themselves onboard.

 

We are thrilled that you and Rick will be with us and we too think that the two of you will look adorable together. No one would know looking at the two of you which one shaved their head in support of the others illness and most will never ask.

 

We love you and Rick!

 

Karen and Bob

[SheilaNC]

Karen and Bob,

You made me cry! How I remember the importance of caring friends and family while I was undergoing treatment. Your words say it all....I only wish I could sail and celebrate survival and life with all of you!

[desperatehousewife]

Sometimes I am truly amazed at the response of these boards.. How cruel other people can be, thank god they are the MINORITY though.

 

Dear KamloopsCruises...

 

I do not know you I I would like to offer this....

If I were seated across from you I would be honored.Honored to be in the prescence of someone so brave and courageous. I can only guess the fears, sadness, and fight you have experienced. I would only need to take one look at you to see that and therefore I would not care how you "appeared" at my didnig table. If you wanted to explain I would listen, if not.. it's none of my business and I would be hoping that you can feel my support.

Ignore any negative feedback or looks, they are the ones who should be embarassed and ASHAMED.

Keep the wonderful positive attitude that you have.... NO ONE has a right to make you feel uncomfortable..... you have already dealt with enough.

Good luck to you and I hope you have a wonderful cruise!!

 

To the other rude poster.... shame on you...

[Sail With Me]

Karen and Bob,

You made me cry! How I remember the importance of caring friends and family while I was undergoing treatment. Your words say it all....I only wish I could sail and celebrate survival and life with all of you!

 

 

Sheila,

 

Bob and I will celebrate your survival and will raise our glases to you in celebration of your life so you WILL be with us onboard.

 

We will always remember that we are all equal on this earth and none of us knows what God has planned for us on our journey through life. If we give to others, then perhaps one day we shall be lucky enough to have others there for us when we need them.

 

Thank you for your support of our dear friend Sue!!! God Bless You and yours!

 

Karen and Bob

[KamloopsCruisers]

Karen and Bob,

You made me cry! How I remember the importance of caring friends and family while I was undergoing treatment. Your words say it all....I only wish I could sail and celebrate survival and life with all of you!

 

Oh how we're looking forward to sailing with Karen & Bob. Karen has offered immeasurable support and encouragement to us during this past month. We were fortunate to meet and sail with these two sweeties on the Radiance last year to Hawaii and the opportunity to sail with them again has given me a happy focus. Also, Karen will be competing in the Susan B Korman 3-day Breast Cancer walk in my honour. I am truly blessed to have such a fine friend and cruisemate.

[dolfinmusic]

First - good luck to you and I hope everything works out! :)

 

Now - I think you should go on your cruise and do whatever suits you best! Wear a hat, wig, scarf or nothing at all. It is your body and your cruise! It doesn't matter what others think. You are what matters! If you want to talk about it - then go ahead. I don't know how anyone could go on a vacation and leave behind the fact that they have cancer!!! I am sure that you will have a great time and it will not be on your mind every second but you can't just leave it behind and it certainly is not an "everyday care". It is your life and your body and both are precious!!!!

 

Now you go and have yourself a great cruise! :)

[goodml]

Very well said desperatehousewife!

 

MHS4, I hope for your sake you never have to eat those words. Take it from someone who has plenty of experience with cancer patients in our immediate family that no one is immune from this terrible disease. Your remarks were as thoughtless and selfish as any I've ever seen on these boards. I'm quite certain Sue would like to go away and forget about it for a while herself but that's likely not her reality.

 

Kamloopscruisers I hope you have a fabulous vacation. If you feel tired find a wonderful spot in the glorious sun and rest, rest, rest. Actually you should probably not get too much sun, :) , but you know what I mean. As the others have said, make sure you protect your scalp but do it in the way that makes YOU feel most comfortable.

 

One of my most memorable cruise moments was on the Carnival Victory in 2003. One day at lunch in the dining room we were seated with a woman in her 50's and her husband. I don't even remember how it came up but she ended up mentioning that the trip was to celebrate the fact that she had finished her treatments for breast cancer 6 months prior and that her prognosis was excellent. They were wonderful people and we talked for over an hour about her experience and their family. I never saw them again on that cruise but I'll never forget them or their story.

[SheilaNC]

Karen, Bob and Sue,

I love that I will be with you on your cruise. Sue, I'm a Komen Volunteer in our area and, in fact, will be at a Volunteer Recognition Event tonight. Many of my colleagues on the Survivor committee have survived more than one bout of breast cancer and they make me so strong by their example. I will toast you tonight as you begin to count your years of survival (I'm pushing 9 years !).

 

Love to all of you

[nyer]

I agree with desparatehousewife....I would be honored to sit across the dinner table from you. I wish you the best and hope that you have a wonderful cruise.

My advice is pretty much the same. Wear a hat in the hot sun, but go "au natural" in the dining room. Especially if you have a nice shape head. I think that most people (with the exception of MHS4) will understand the reason that you are bald and not ask stupid questions or try to make you feel uncomfortable.

 

Again, have a wonderful cruise.

[spookwife]

I'm off for a day at the spa for some pampering and tranquility. I'm confident that my experience there will be full of bliss and that the spa attendents won't be put off by my one double DD size breast and my one barely B size. That's another dilemna I'll deal with later - how to look fab in my swimsuit, despite my lop-sided "girls".

 

Sue

 

Too bad you couldn't figure out a way to "rob Peter to pay Paul";)

 

As anyone with any kind of long term illness or disease can attest, it is downright IMPOSSIBLE to pretend it doesn't exist while on vacation. I still have meds I have to take every day without fail, I still have precautions I need to take to ensure my comfort and ability to move. My disease is a part of my life, so why on earth would I try and negate it? It doesn't define my life, nor have I let it hinder my enjoyment of life. I simply make adjustments accordingly.

 

God on you, Sue, for doing the same.

[MHS4]

You have all totally misunderstood my comment/request. I have no objection whatsoever to who ever wishes to travel, cruise, etc. You are welcome to sit beside me at the pool, on a tour, and even at dinner -- but do not give me blow-by-blow descriptions of your plight.

 

Actually, the very fact that we have experienced the horror of cancer & the disrespectful, cold, indifferent American medical personnel that entensifies my personal objection to such topics as "my latest operation" "my battle with ...." at a dining table. And I am not alone in this -- there were/are many topics that are not socially acceptable in public situations. Would you want to have someone lecture you on that glass of wine you're drinking & its "evils"? or how awfull this or that President is? or discuss the current War that's dividing our country? We should certainly have plenty of pleasant topics -- the boat's seminars, the port tours, etc., past & future trips -- to occupy and enrich the dining experience. I really feel that I am simply reminding one of Good Manners.

[crucero-amante]

Sorry, but I strongly disagree with this concept of talking about it -- I for one go on vacation to leave behind the "real" world and all its ugliness. Disease, like politics, is NOT an acceptable conversation, especially at mealtimes.

 

This does not mean that I lack compassion, but do feel strongly that we need to leave behind the everyday cares and woes for some quiet enjoyment time.

 

Hello MHS4... Your post says that you DO lack compassion and I'm sure if I knew you I would leave you behind.

[beijobeijo]

MHS4 - its seems that you are going though live with your eyes shut. I don't see how a person could sit at the dinner table for 2 hours every night , for seven days without any " un pleasant " topics coming up. It seems that you would only like dinner mates that are unoppionated in any subject. There is only so much you could speak about, that you would consider appropriate before horrible akward silences would come up, and that would be ten times worse than some one speaking about thier cancer for a moment, to clear the air.

Anyways, kamloops crusers is my mum, so I might be bias, but I think she would look stunning with a wig, hat , or your tanned head . Do whatever makes you happy, its your cruise, and it shouldn't be ruined by some one else opinions. Plus, i think a formal picture with Dad , with two shiney heads and healthy smiles would be amazingly beautiful.

thanks every one else for thier suport for my mummy.