Questions for solo cruisers

[vswan]

My husband passed away last week after bypass surgery. He was home one week and gone. I had booked a cruise for 8 weeks after the surgery and was wise enough to by the cancel for any reason insurance. I know the kind hearted people on CC will offer sympathy and prayers, so thank you in advance.

 

We had traveled together on more than 30 cruises and this is my favorite type of vacation and know that I will want to continue. I have a number of questions for those who have needed to make the switch from sailing as a couple to sailing as a solo.

 

I understand that most of the time you will be charged for two people in the cabin, even if there is only one. There are occasionally sales which only charge solo, but sounds like those are far and few...

 

How long did you wait to take your first solo cruise. Did you go alone or take a family member or friend with you? Would you go sooner or wait longer?

 

If you want to purchase the HIA, do you pay once since there is only one passenger or do you pay double. Same with Club Orange.

 

We have not been loyal to one cruise line, but have cruised the most on HAL. I'm only 65, but no party animal. Would you stay with HAL or try something else?

 

Are there things you would recommend for a solo to do? Book more shore excursions versus doing your own thing, etc.

 

Do know that I would probably go to the meet and greets. Husband wasn't a joiner, so we didn't participate.

 

For a little context. Have been sailing primarily in balcony cabins. Enjoy just sitting on my own balcony with a book and cocktail. Don't feel the need to be entertained at all times. Primarily looking to get out of the frigid north to someplace warm. Love to travel and can not see myself at a resort someplace by myself. On a ship there is lots to do and people around.

[vjblk]

My sister passed away in July. We were really close and traveled together at least twice a year when we both were working and hoped to cruise after we retired hut then covid hit. We loved to travel and I really want to continue to travel if even by myself.  I went on a HAL cruise over New Years to the Mexican Riviera. I was a little apprehensive but I had a good time.  I went to the meet and greet and met some nice people. They also had some solo events. They had 2 solo traveler meetings that were fun. Met more nice people.  It was nice to meet these people as you would see them around the ship and they would stop and talk with you. They also had a solo travellers lunch one day.  Again had a fun time talking with other solo travellers. Met one lady where we had a nice connection.  Made arrangements to meet for dinner and we enjoyed it so much that we met every night for dinner.  Did our own thing during the day but met for dinner to catch up in our day and then went on to check out the music venues.  I did ship shore excursions and again people are so friendly. Never felt too alone.  I enjoyed this cruise so much, I've booked another one for this summer. I hope this one goes well too.

 

Also there is a solo cruiser forum here on Cruise Critic where you can get tips. I think cruising 

Will be great for solo traveling as you can have alone time and time with others.

[Navybikermom]

As a solo traveler, I can answer some of your questions. My husband doesn’t like to travel, so I can’t answer the first couple. You only pay HIA for one person. I’ve never gotten Club Orange but I would think it would operate the same way. 
 

I always find something enjoyable to do as a solo - either by myself or with a group. I always have my TA select early seating, large table, for dinner. That way, I make new friends and sometimes end up doing things with them ashore if not on an excursion. 

[OlsSalt]

Thank you for opening up this topic - many of us now also know .... there but for the grace of God go I ...someday too. Best wishes and love getting the positive posts already on this sensitive topic. 

[RuthC]

I'm very sorry for your loss. Especially when it is sudden like your loss was, it's a terrible shock. 
You asked about how long before others cruised solo. For me, it was one year. My husband and I were in Rome to board our ship in two days when he died. A year later I needed a vacation desperately, so went back to the familiar---a HAL cruise. 
I was alone, and will admit it was tough not knowing anyone else on the ship. But it got easier with every passing cruise, and now it feels so natural. I have sailed several times with friends I met on CC, and will admit that being with friends is easier and nicer. 

I can't think of a cruise I have taken alone where I was not charged double. It's possible an inside cabin or two might have been less than double, but never one of my balcony cabins, and most of my customary insides, but those are usually longer cruises, too, so little chance of a discount. 

I have my travel agent compute the price of Have It All vs. Advantage Fare, and the Advantage Fare is lower every time except once. 

I have tried other lines, but until recent years I have been pleased with what HAL offers in terms of atmosphere, food, entertainment, and itineraries. I have loved the quiet elegance that, sadly, is not what it used to be. 

As to shore excursions, vs. heading out on my own---I take the HAL excursions. I am not up to the challenge of putting together a tour that meets my needs/wants, then going off with a small group of strangers who may or may not be compatible. I have gone on private tours when cruising with friends, however. Very good experiences. 

Every one who is suddenly single gets back into cruising (if they do get back into it) in their own way. There is no right or wrong way to do it. After so many cruises with your DH it will be tough. Plan on it. A cabin by yourself, a place to escape to when you need to be alone, I think is essential. Eventually, you will come to love the feeling of space, even in a small cabin. You can come and go as you want, and not have to check with anyone. Going solo does have it's advantages. 
Just be willing to put yourself out there. Introduce yourself to others and start chatting. If you can climb up there, a barstool with others around is better than a table by yourself. Join a table for 6 at dinner---more, and no one can hear what is said; fewer, and you might not get enough conversation going. 

I wish you well. It does get better with time. 

[shippmates]

 

 

 

 

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.  I lost mine 2 weeks after our 50 anniversary very suddenly from Covid.  My first solo cruise was with friends we had met on a cruise many years ago which was 6 months after his passing.  I had also promised him I would continue to cruise and complete his last wish.

i did a crossing out of NYC to Belgium, Netherlands and Germany on the Queen Mary 2.  I also had his burial at sea.  The captain did an wonderful service for him.  I met the nicest group of people and we are planning another trip. I had a great time with my tablemates, but I also spent time on my balcony when I needed to be alone.  It was the best of both worlds.

When you plan your dining time, I recommend requesting a fixed dining time at a table for 6 or 8 person.  

You will know when you are ready to get back on a ship.  Just a little warning the sadness will hit you at the most unexpected times.  Do as much as you want and go with the flow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[3rdGenCunarder]

OP, your preferences sound a lot like mine. I like a fairly low-key sort of cruise experience. DH and I did a lot of cruising, and we enjoyed our winter escapes in the Caribbean. When I would ask him about this island or that port, he was say "All I want to know is will it be warm?" When he was ill, I thought about a cruise that friends were taking, thinking it would be part of his recovery. But it didn't turn out that way. And then I thought, that cruise could be MY recovery, my return to travel. So three months after he died, I was back on QM2. I  might not have cruised again so soon, but the idea of going with friends was good for my comfort level. Going with them was the best thing I could have done. I had company at times, and time on my own. I had some "moments," and when you return to travel, you probably will, too. Mostly they were being on my balcony watching the arrival or departure at a port we always enjoyed. The pipers at Halifax made me cry. 

 

Since then, I have traveled quite a lot, but it has rarely been totally alone. I've gone to a few conferences, but mostly I've cruised. Cruising is a wonderful cocoon--you're cared for very well, and on HAL, the service is comforting, especially that friendly "hello" from the stewards you pass in the hall. You'll have time with other people and time on your own. I always get fixed dining, large table, so I meet people that way. If the roll call is active, that's another way to meet people. I haven't gone to solo gatherings on board. No particular reason, I just haven't.

 

I am more inclined to do ship tours than independent tours, unless it's something with a roll call group. I do find some security in a ship's tour now that I'm solo. For example, I did a ship's tour to a beach in Curacao rather than take a taxi to a resort. We were herded into "our" area at the beach, so I felt like it was okay to leave my stuff on my chair and go in the water. If I had a rented chair at a resort just by myself, I'd have been uncomfortable leaving things. That sounds paranoid, I know, but I pay a lot of attention to logistics and how do I do this or that on my own. I've always been the travel planner, so in that sense my role hasn't changed. 

 

I don't always do tours. In ports where there are interesting things to do and see close to the ship, or within reasonable mass transit or Uber, I will do that. Often, I just grab my camera and wander. I'm an avid photographer, so that gives me something to do and not notice I'm alone. 

 

I agree with Ruth. Just as everyone grieves differently, everyone has to find his/her own way back to travel--and living in general. And yes, cruising is expensive because of the "single supplement." Adding HIA or CO does not charge double, so that's a small mercy. 

 

As you can see from the responses here, you aren't alone in your concerns about solo travel. I've been there and you have my sympathies.  The first trip will be the hardest, but it does get easier. 

[vswan]

 Thank you all for your responses. Most of the cruises we took were 7 day, but had upped to 10 to 18 this past couple of years, usually adding on shore days to stretch things out. Would you start with 7 days? or would you go for longer since I won't be doing the pre or post days - will of course fly in a day early..

 

My sister is retiring in about a year and could go with on some of this since she is also alone and if I have to pay double occupancy might as well fill the cabin. But her financial situation will not make this a common thing with airfare, etc. So, if I want to do this several times a year will need to get used to doing it on my own.

[3rdGenCunarder]

1 minute ago, vswan said:

 Thank you all for your responses. Most of the cruises we took were 7 day, but had upped to 10 to 18 this past couple of years, usually adding on shore days to stretch things out. Would you start with 7 days? or would you go for longer since I won't be doing the pre or post days - will of course fly in a day early..

 

My sister is retiring in about a year and could go with on some of this since she is also alone and if I have to pay double occupancy might as well fill the cabin. But her financial situation will not make this a common thing with airfare, etc. So, if I want to do this several times a year will need to get used to doing it on my own.

 

I would start small, with 7 days, maybe 10. Look at itineraries and see if there's a port or two that you haven't been to before--maybe it will get you excited about going. Or, if too much unknown makes you uncomfortable, do a repeat of an itinerary you like. 

[RuthC]

I would pick an itinerary you like, and want to go on. If it is as long as the mid-length cruises you have gotten used to, that's fine---so long as you know you like that length. 

My first solo cruise post widowhood was 18 days; we hadn't done many that length, but had done a few, and were booked on a 22-day cruise when my husband died.
I didn't find the length of the cruise mattered so much as finding compatible passengers to spend time with. 

[vswan]

Thanks, I think the hardest thing to get used to will be changing the cruise experience from what I'm used to. I am a planner and would already knew when we would rent a car or grab a cab to the beach - rarely took shore excursions. Know that may not be the best solo, so will need to reset my mind and just decide that the experience will be different, but not necessarily worse.

 

I would add, that when home alone this past week dealing with as much of the paperwork as possible at this point, planning a service, and answering phone calls that I didn't really want to talk about anymore, these boards have given me something to look at that was happy.

[Gunther1]

1 hour ago, RuthC said:

I'm very sorry for your loss. Especially when it is sudden like your loss was, it's a terrible shock. 
You asked about how long before others cruised solo. For me, it was one year. My husband and I were in Rome to board our ship in two days when he died. A year later I needed a vacation desperately, so went back to the familiar---a HAL cruise. 
I was alone, and will admit it was tough not knowing anyone else on the ship. But it got easier with every passing cruise, and now it feels so natural. I have sailed several times with friends I met on CC, and will admit that being with friends is easier and nicer. 

I can't think of a cruise I have taken alone where I was not charged double. It's possible an inside cabin or two might have been less than double, but never one of my balcony cabins, and most of my customary insides, but those are usually longer cruises, too, so little chance of a discount. 

I have my travel agent compute the price of Have It All vs. Advantage Fare, and the Advantage Fare is lower every time except once. 

I have tried other lines, but until recent years I have been pleased with what HAL offers in terms of atmosphere, food, entertainment, and itineraries. I have loved the quiet elegance that, sadly, is not what it used to be. 

As to shore excursions, vs. heading out on my own---I take the HAL excursions. I am not up to the challenge of putting together a tour that meets my needs/wants, then going off with a small group of strangers who may or may not be compatible. I have gone on private tours when cruising with friends, however. Very good experiences. 

Every one who is suddenly single gets back into cruising (if they do get back into it) in their own way. There is no right or wrong way to do it. After so many cruises with your DH it will be tough. Plan on it. A cabin by yourself, a place to escape to when you need to be alone, I think is essential. Eventually, you will come to love the feeling of space, even in a small cabin. You can come and go as you want, and not have to check with anyone. Going solo does have it's advantages. 
Just be willing to put yourself out there. Introduce yourself to others and start chatting. If you can climb up there, a barstool with others around is better than a table by yourself. Join a table for 6 at dinner---more, and no one can hear what is said; fewer, and you might not get enough conversation going. 

I wish you well. It does get better with time. 

Ruth, we have never met, but once again, you have impressed me with your response.  You are one classy person !!!!!

[RuthC]

3 minutes ago, Gunther1 said:

Ruth, we have never met, but once again, you have impressed me with your response.  You are one classy person !!!!!

Thanks, Matt (am I remembering correctly? it is Matt? it's been a long time since we didn't meet in Seattle)

[Gunther1]

8 minutes ago, RuthC said:

Thanks, Matt (am I remembering correctly? it is Matt? it's been a long time since we didn't meet in Seattle)

It is...you have a good memory.  Hopefully it will happen :). 

[Destiny0315]

Thanks vswan for your post as it touches an area that I think needs more attention within CC. There are forums for 55+, single, and solo cruisers on CC but after reading so many posts in those forums from people who are widowed either for years or recently I feel that maybe that area of the CC world needs its own category too. Whether your a widow/widower at 45, 65, or 85 you have things in common with others who are also and many of those things are different than true single people, married but cruising solo, divorcees or separated people. For some it means learning to live alone again for the first time in 25, 45 and even 65 years. As for myself I know that feeling of excitement in planning that next cruise with your partner. I still remember in February of 2016 being with my wife who was in a cardiac intensive care unit after she had coded three times in 8 days and was having an ICD implanted of us talking about and researching our next cruise. She survived all that and few more things along the way before passing in late February of 2020 on the eve of the world changing event for everyone. Sadly that next cruise together never came about(we had to cancel one in the summer of 2019 for health reasons)partly too because with her being a teacher we were limited to certain weeks or months during the year. Covid put a crimp in any thoughts I had of floating again in a new ocean of life throughout the rest of 2020 and into 2021, but I eventually booked a holiday cruise on HAL for December of 2021. I also took a one week casino balcony offer cruise out of Baltimore with CCL in May of 2022 and now I have some booked with HAL and CCL this year, and looking at 2024. There will always be moments that will bring back the memories but it sounds like it will be for you as it has been for me always good ones...Rob

[vswan]

I'm going to go there and ask a question that is somewhat uncomfortable. My daughter and son-in-law love to cruise and go yearly with their 2 children ages 13 and 2. I know I would be welcome to join them, and probably will on occasion, but feel this is their family time. The one week a year they take as a family. I am also concerned that our cruise styles are very different - not because they are huge party people, but just the time and place they are in life. At this point their favorite cruise line is CCL, and I'm more of a HAL type person.

 

Would you suggest that I jump in and join them for my first return to cruising, or should I go solo or find a friend to go on a more peaceful cruise first. I do have several single friends, but even if I share a cabin that's already paid for, asking someone else to pay airfare, taxes and port fees, gratuities, shore excursions, etc. adds up. And asking them to spend money so I can have a companion for vacation just seems wrong to me.

[vswan]

To Destiny0315, I admire your courage to make your first foray back into the cruising world on a holiday cruise surrounded by happy families celebrating the holiday. Don't think I could do that.

[Destiny0315]

Well it was in December but one before the actual holidays which were spent with family. Your own families are helpful to be around especially around the holidays but they can also intentionally or unintentionally bring up memories that you may not be prepared to deal with.

[lcand1923]

My Dad and I travelled together for many years.  After he passed, it took me about a year to “jump in” and try a solo cruise.  I booked one that he and I had planned to take but had to cancel when a health issue appeared.  Several River Cruise Lines offer “solo special” rates.  I’ve never found them on an Ocean Cruise line and definitely not on HAL.  What cruise line makes solo cruising easy?  In my experience it is HAL.  The crew is wonderful!!!  They are always friendly, but seem to kick it up a notch when they know you are traveling solo.  It may be my imagination, but they seem to go out of their way to watch out for you.  I stick with ship sponsored shore excursions.  I have never participated in a Meet & Greet and have only attended Solo events on other cruise lines because I am not much of a “joiner”, but have always had a wonderful time cruising solo.

[NCTribeFan]

I mostly sail solo, simply because I've been single for about 35 years.  Once my daughter was out of college and working, her schedule no longer fit with mine, so I started going solo.

 

I always join the Roll Calls and like to find independent excursions to take with others.  Those smaller-sized groups made it much easier to make new cruise friends.  Also always attended the Meet & Greets.

 

One of the best parts of cruising is that you can partake in as many activities as you wish or you can find somewhere quiet to sit and read or just relax.  Well, not so much on Carnival!  LOL.  I've sailed them nearly 40 times and my biggest complaint these days (32 nights last fall, 14 in January) is the lack of anywhere even remotely quiet on their ships.  Since I almost always book interior cabins, it pains me to have to retreat there just to get away from the noise and activity.  But, sometimes, I want some noise and activity and they do have plenty of options during the day (more than HAL offers).

 

My past 4 sailings (2 HAL, 2 Carnival) have been with friends I made years ago on a Carnival cruise.  Often, I'm the 3rd wheel, but they don't seem to mind.  Sometimes I'm the 5th, or 7th, or even 9th wheel!  The great thing is I can do my own thing during the day, or join up with them, and we always have dinner together.  So, I'm solo but I'm not alone.  It's great.

[Navybikermom]

1 hour ago, vswan said:

I'm going to go there and ask a question that is somewhat uncomfortable. My daughter and son-in-law love to cruise and go yearly with their 2 children ages 13 and 2. I know I would be welcome to join them, and probably will on occasion, but feel this is their family time. The one week a year they take as a family. I am also concerned that our cruise styles are very different - not because they are huge party people, but just the time and place they are in life. At this point their favorite cruise line is CCL, and I'm more of a HAL type person.

 

Would you suggest that I jump in and join them for my first return to cruising, or should I go solo or find a friend to go on a more peaceful cruise first. I do have several single friends, but even if I share a cabin that's already paid for, asking someone else to pay airfare, taxes and port fees, gratuities, shore excursions, etc. adds up. And asking them to spend money so I can have a companion for vacation just seems wrong to me.

If I were in your shoes (and again - this is only what I would do), I would do the quiet solo cruise. I have found that there are many solo cruisers on HAL ships and they are quite welcoming to the “newbies”. I have traveled the world in my Navy career, so being solo is nothing new. Being on a noisy Carnival ship would not excite me, even with family present. I would prefer a quiet ship to “find” myself again in my new role. 

[shippmates]

I have sailed solo on Royal Caribbean and Cunard.  Doing my first HAL solo with a friend, can not wait to see how I like them.  I know between Royal and Cunard, I would rather sail on Cunard.  With all the live music, planetarium, shows, lectures, The Golden Lion ( English Pub).  The library has 8000 books are wonderful comfy chairs overlooking the ocean to read.  I know sailing solo on the QM2 is pricey but when I was on her for 23 days I was not ready to get off.  We all have to figure out how to adjust to cruising without our partners.

[vswan]

Thank you all. Know that I will need to decide what is right for me and when I feel comfortable jumping in again - which I will. What has been shared here is helpful. A special thank you to RuthC. I have read and appreciated your posts for years and knew you sailed solo from the comments you shared.

[kazu]

13 hours ago, vswan said:

My husband passed away last week after bypass surgery. He was home one week and gone. I had booked a cruise for 8 weeks after the surgery and was wise enough to by the cancel for any reason insurance. I know the kind hearted people on CC will offer sympathy and prayers, so thank you in advance.

 

I am so very sorry for your loss.  It’s a hard road when you lose your life partner, but even harder when it is so sudden 💔  My sincere condolences.

 

 

13 hours ago, vswan said:

 

We had traveled together on more than 30 cruises and this is my favorite type of vacation and know that I will want to continue. I have a number of questions for those who have needed to make the switch from sailing as a couple to sailing as a solo.

 

I understand that most of the time you will be charged for two people in the cabin, even if there is only one. There are occasionally sales which only charge solo, but sounds like those are far and few...

 

Correct -you usually end up paying double - it’s rare that is not the case.

 

 

13 hours ago, vswan said:

How long did you wait to take your first solo cruise. Did you go alone or take a family member or friend with you? Would you go sooner or wait longer?

 

I don’t know if there is a right answer to this.  I already had a cruise booked and knowing that my sisters and friends were going, I decided to continue with the plans and do a burial at sea. In my case it was just over 6 months but everyone is different and I’m not sure if I would have done it if I didn’t have the support on board if needed.

 

 

13 hours ago, vswan said:

 

If you want to purchase the HIA, do you pay once since there is only one passenger or do you pay double. Same with Club Orange.

 

If you book the cruise without the HIA (advantage fare is refundable) and then add the HIA and Club Orange you are only charged as one passenger.

 

13 hours ago, vswan said:

 

We have not been loyal to one cruise line, but have cruised the most on HAL. I'm only 65, but no party animal. Would you stay with HAL or try something else?

 

Tough question.  Do what’s right for you.  I would tend to stick with something familiar for my first one - but that’s just me.

 

 

13 hours ago, vswan said:

 

Are there things you would recommend for a solo to do? Book more shore excursions versus doing your own thing, etc.

 

Do know that I would probably go to the meet and greets. Husband wasn't a joiner, so we didn't participate.

 

Definitely join your roll call - there may well be private tours you might want to join in and you might ‘connect’ with others.  There is nothing wrong with doing your own thing in the right ports if you like.

 

 

[3rdGenCunarder]

I agree that a more quiet cruise would be the better choice. Your family will work hard to make sure you have a good time, and that might make you feel bad that you were interfering with their vacation. And it might not be the atmosphere you prefer. 

 

I agree with @Icand1923, the crew do pay extra attention to solos. I noticed it particularly on my Eurodam cruise. The steward always asked how I was doing, did I need anything, how was my day in port, etc. I know they do that a lot, but I felt he made an extra effort with me. 

 

I've been thinking about this thread, and it occurred to me how many singles, especially widows, commented here. You won't be the only widow on board. Sometimes, when you travel, it seems like the world is Noah's Ark, everything is set up for two by two. But on a cruise, there will be other solos. We tend to gravitate toward each other on tours. I had the nicest chat with a woman on the tram ride to the stable at HMC. Just one widow being friendly to another.