First time on my own

[Shingles Mark]

Hi everyone 

I recently lost my lovely wife. We had been on about 8 cruises in the last 20 years. The last six months have been an awful time and I was thinking of booking a cruise to help my return to some sort of normality. Not sure if it’s a good idea and extremely anxious about going solo . Any thoughts or tips out there ?
Mark

[zap99]

26 minutes ago, Shingles Mark said:

Hi everyone 

I recently lost my lovely wife. We had been on about 8 cruises in the last 20 years. The last six months have been an awful time and I was thinking of booking a cruise to help my return to some sort of normality. Not sure if it’s a good idea and extremely anxious about going solo . Any thoughts or tips out there ?
Mark

Mark.very brave decision all the best to you. I'm sorry I can't offer any useful help, but the folks on here will offer plenty of help. Best wished.

[Cardiff girl]

29 minutes ago, Shingles Mark said:

Hi everyone 

I recently lost my lovely wife. We had been on about 8 cruises in the last 20 years. The last six months have been an awful time and I was thinking of booking a cruise to help my return to some sort of normality. Not sure if it’s a good idea and extremely anxious about going solo . Any thoughts or tips out there ?
Mark

Hi Mark, so sorry for your loss. Only you will know when to take that leap. However, in my experience there are usually a few widowers and widows braving solo cruising with plenty of friendly folk happy to dip in and out of companionship. On Azura there were well-attended daily solo meet ups plus get-togethers we organised. 

For me, solo cruising allows the freedom to be alone when you wish, combined with the chance of enjoying the cruise with a new 'gang'. I always feel nervous beforehand then always meet some lovely people. 

Good luck, whatever you choose to do. 

[showingdiva]

Sorry for your loss.   

 

Only you will know when that right time is, and whether any sort of holiday will be of benefit going forward.   For what it's worth, I was in a similar position when I lost my cruise companion, my mother.  Two years, a serious illness of my own and an aborted cruise attempt later, I was back on board Arcadia, "our ship", where we had enjoyed ten cruises, in the exact same cabin we had always had since the ship's maiden voyage.   I only booked a four nighter to begin with.   It felt a bit strange.  I stood on the balcony and had a good cry.  Then took a deep breath ...

 

7 longer cruises later, and a jump to Cunard and MSC, it's restored my confidence.   You can have as much or as little interaction with other passengers as you want.   Just like travelling with a companion, pick the best cabin you can afford, decide whether to join in with the daily programme and the solo meet up, go ashore independently or book an excursion (which I did that first Arcadia cruise to be with people).   Dine the way you feel comfortable with, in the venue you feel comfortable with, with whom you feel comfortable with.    Or just use it for peace and reflection.

 

Whether it's now or further into the future, you will be okay going solo.

Edited March 29, 2023 by showingdiva

[Selbourne]

Sincere condolences on the loss of your wife Mark. Whilst I haven’t been on a cruise as a solo passenger, I would have no hesitation whatsoever in doing so. We have met loads of solo passengers on our cruises and have always thought that it’s the ideal holiday for somebody travelling on their own. It’s easy to keep yourself to yourself if you want to, but equally the option to join a shared table in the MDR provides the opportunity for some company and conversation when you want it. People seem to be far more sociable on cruises than they are ashore!
 

There are plenty of solo cruisers on this forum who will give you some really good advice and tips, but can I suggest a further option to consider as well as cruising? My wife is disabled and cannot fly. I had always wanted to go to Aushwitz so I did an organised tour with Riviera Travel on my own. They do countless tours specifically for solos, but I actually went on a regular tour and there were a number of us travelling alone. I got on really well with some of the other solo passengers and indeed a number of the couples. There was plenty of time for me to do things on my own as well as the organised bits. 
 

If I suddenly found myself on my own, I would have no hesitation in cruising and doing other forms of holiday. It sounds as though you deserve one. I wish you well. 

[Beckett]

51 minutes ago, Shingles Mark said:

Hi everyone 

I recently lost my lovely wife. We had been on about 8 cruises in the last 20 years. The last six months have been an awful time and I was thinking of booking a cruise to help my return to some sort of normality. Not sure if it’s a good idea and extremely anxious about going solo . Any thoughts or tips out there ?
Mark

Hello Mark

 

I'm sorry to hear about your sad loss and, like Zap, I think it's very brave of you to think about finding a new normal.

 

I should also say welcome to the CC forum - my second family. There are some lovely people on here who can offer help, support, and advice with all things cruising and so much more.

 

I travel solo a lot and have never felt out of place, or awkward, or lonely on any of my solo cruises. There is usually a Solo Cruisers get-together every morning (well there was last time I cruised) and although I haven't in the past been to any of them, I've met loads of people who've met life-long friends via these groups. 

 

I'm a fairly solitary person who is quite happy to spend time alone - and that's OK too. I vary my eating between the main dining rooms, the buffet, and the speciality restaurants. Sometimes I eat alone, sometimes not. You can really do as much or as little as you choose - be as sociable or not as pleases you on any particular day. You will find there are loads of solo cruisers on most cruises - some you will like, others not so much. Your cruise, your choice.

 

It will feel strange for you initially because of your circumstances but don't be put off. You will come back with some lovely memories - just different ones.

 

Best wishes. Jane x

[Interestedcruisefan]

You've had some great replies. 

 

If I were you I would bite the bullet and go and have a great cruise and each night toast your wife.  I'm sure she would want you to.

 

If I passed away I would hope my wife would go and have great holidays without me. I think a cruise is a great place to holiday as a single person

[Britboys]

2 hours ago, Shingles Mark said:

Hi everyone 

I recently lost my lovely wife. We had been on about 8 cruises in the last 20 years. The last six months have been an awful time and I was thinking of booking a cruise to help my return to some sort of normality. Not sure if it’s a good idea and extremely anxious about going solo . Any thoughts or tips out there ?
Mark

Welcome to the forum Mark. Like many cruise ships, you will find us a friendly bunch.

 

I was in a similar situation to you a little over 10 years ago when my partner of 26 years died. I took the decision to go on a cruise just over 4 months after Tony died. He wanted his ashes cast in the sea and it had been a horrible last 6 months or so and I decided getting away  and carrying out his wishes might be good for me.

It was tough but I had a lot of support from friends and indeed from people I met on the ship.

I went on Aurora and I think the smaller ships are possibly better under such circumstances. Obviously I don't know your age but the higher number of more mature people on the smaller ships inevitably leads to quite a few widows and widowers on board. I was on a mdr table with 3 ladies, all of who had been bereaved over a number of years. Their support was very heart-warming.

I met so many lovely people on that cruise, some of who are on this board!

As others have said, only you can decide when you are ready. I'm pretty sure however that your wife would say "go do it".

My thoughts are with you as you weigh up what is right for you and if you have any specific questions, please do ask.

[Waju]

We met a recently bereaved man on a cruise and his story was very similar to yours.  Such a lovely man who used to save us a sunbed in the mornings 😎

 

Anyway, this was his first cruise without his wife and he joined in everything going and was really surprised at how easy it was and much fun he had.  He had his 'moments' and sometimes took himself off somewhere quiet and that's fine, that's how he coped.

 

Strangely enough we don't do many cruises now that he isn't on!  He's living his best life and although I never knew his wife I'm sure that's what she would have wanted.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide - sometimes the first step is the hardest.

[Camberley]

I’m so sorry for your loss and I appreciate how difficult it is to try to do something you both used to love doing.  Only you will know if it is the right thing to do and probably only when you do it. But if you go for it I am sure you can find so much to enjoy and go at a pace you are comfortable with. And yes, celebrating your wife with the raising of a glass to her at evening meal times, for example, can indeed be a lovely way to do this. Wishing you the very best

[Angel57]

Welcome to the forum, Mark.

It will be hard to cruise again but it is oh so worth it.. I didn’t lose a partner, but like Showingdiva, I used to cruise with my Mum. I had promised her I wouldn’t stop cruising when she had passed.

The first cruise without her was not on our usual Aurora but on Arcadia. After a copious amount of tears in the first few hours of being on board - i then had a great time for the rest of the cruise knowing Mum would be proud of me.

I then happily returned to cruising back on Aurora and subsequently met some lovely people (at the fixed dining table) who are now life long friends. Three of us then did two world cruises together (in our own cabins) - something I would never have considered before.

If you feel strong enough - go for it…..

I wish you luck and let us know if you cruise again as it is quite likely there will be someone from the forum on board.

Gill

 

 

[Fionboard]

I can only echo the sentiments above. I have been holidaying solo for 20 years. Cruising is the best for solos (have done more than 70) and have found the smaller ships to be the most friendly and sociable. Go for it and you will have no regrets. Happy cruising! 

[lincslady]

Please book one , Mark,  if only for me!  If you are fit and well enough, make the most of your time while you can.  I am saying this as an older (over  80) widow for just over a year, and would dearly love to cruise, but some walking problems make it pretty difficult, and I am not likely to cruise again.  I do have some lovely memories, though, and would like to think that you will be able to make some more for yourself.  And when you do book one, let us know in advance and if possible post while on board, or afterwards.

 

I love looking up where people are each day, on Cruisemapper, and reading their news.  Secondhand cruising  is much better than nothing,  but I urge you to do what you can while you can.

[FangedRose]

I've cruised solo many times since my husband died in 2009. I love it! It is far more relaxing and fun than having to negotiate activities and mealtimes etc. There is always plenty to do and I never feel left out. (For example, P&O organise the deck games so everybody is randomly paired up so nobody is left out). If you opt for fixed time dining on a large table you will be seated with other solo travellers, and have a good chance that a few of the others will want to go to the show, or for  a drink etc. If there is a noisy table at dinner it will be one of the solo tables! As a male you will be in great demand as a dance partner if that is your thing.

 

The only downside is couples saying how brave you are! I find it patronising and I'm not the one arguing about what to do, or sitting stoneyfaced at dinner not talking to the person opposite.

[Cpt Pugwash]

i could write a long list why you should go as a solo passenger but i won't. I've always travelled as a solo passenger (being Happily Divorced)😁 and love it.

This year i have 2 cruises booked and will be my first Holidays since having a Leg Amputated in 2019 and now use a Prosthetic Leg, which makes me not count when it comes to dance partners as FangedRose says.

There is meetings every day for solo passengers to get to know each other and to discuss what there doing that day.

The people you get to meet in my opinion is a big part of your Holiday like my first cruise where i don't think i had laughed so much on a Holiday.

Go For It, you won't regret it, unless the ship sinks then it will be a different story.🤪

 

Phew Checked the spelling before posting this and noticed i had missed a letter in the 'count', don't need anybody to get me into trouble can do it myself'.😄

[Shingles Mark]

Thanks everyone for the replies, I’m having my covid booster on 19th April as I have a dodgy immune system,so will probably go late April or early May ,I’ll keep you updated 

[Shingles Mark]

Just to let you know I have plucked up courage and booked Iona on the 13th May

[Interestedcruisefan]

5 minutes ago, Shingles Mark said:

Just to let you know I have plucked up courage and booked Iona on the 13th May

The week before we travel on the same cruise!

 

Let us know how you get on Mark!

 

Good for you by the way!!

 

First of many more cruises for you hopefully!

Edited April 16, 2023 by Interestedcruisefan

[AndyMichelle]

8 minutes ago, Shingles Mark said:

Just to let you know I have plucked up courage and booked Iona on the 13th May

Great news, have a fantastic time 

Andy 

[Beckett]

39 minutes ago, Shingles Mark said:

Just to let you know I have plucked up courage and booked Iona on the 13th May

Yay! Well done you. I hope you have a great cruise Mark and please let us know how you get on. Jane x

[Sheila127]

Just now, Shingles Mark said:

Just to let you know I have plucked up courage and booked Iona on the 13th May

I was on the Iona in January as a solo and had a fabulous time! You will have the opportunity to meet with other solos but you can choose how little or how much time you want to spend with others! You may have moments of sadness and that is perfectly understandable but having the company of others may help you! Good luck!

[Clodia]

I have travelled alone for years as well as with others. Cruises I find are the safest, friendliest and nicest way to travel alone. You can join in as much or as little as you choose.

I am truly sorry for your recent loss, but I think you will grow into cruising alone, and make new friends too.