i spent 21 days onboard NCL prima... here is my prima facie case for the good, the bad and the fugly

[UKstages]

 

i recently completed 21 days on the NCL prima on back-to-back cruises:

 

new york --> halifax --> sydney --> akureyri --> reykjavik

 

reykjavik --> alesund --> gerainger --> bergen --> amsterdam --> zeebrugge --> southampton

 

the ship left new york on 5/14/23 and docked in southampton on 6/4/23. along the way, there was some bad weather, some bad tempers, some even worse weather, some canceled ports, some good food, some bad food, copious cocktails and a lot of laughs. i experienced one major service issue, as well as a lot of relatively minor ones. the large service issue was documented in the thread captioned below and resulted in me having to sleep on the bathroom floor in my room in order to rest without being disturbed by excessive cabin noise:

 

 

 

due to bad weather and other mysterious reasons, several ports were skipped, namely isafjörður on both cruises. in addition, we arrived in reykjavik 21 hours late, so folks who were just doing the first cruise, missed out on that port as well. in fact, the 11-day transatlantic had a total of 6 or 7 sea days, depending on how you calculate them. and they added an extra day in reykjavik on the second cruise (in other words, the second cruise started with an overnight in reykjavik). this allowed the B2B passengers (nearly 400) to actually see the city or go on a tour.  

 

my intention with this review is not to provide a day by day, play by play chronicle of my time onboard, but to mention things i thought were exceptional, things i thought were good and, yes, things i thought were bad or silly or that were missed opportunities or poorly executed.

 

i’ll do this in a series of topic-specific posts.

[UKstages]

spoiler alert: EVERYTHING you’ve heard is true.

 

the prima is truly “a tale of two cities”… it is indeed the best of times, the worst of times. it is the most technologically advanced, most splendiferous, most engaging city at sea and a truly dreadful example of corporate blindness. there’s a good chance you will wait for elevators and bartenders and not be able to find a seat at the buffet or the food hall, just as you’ve read online. there’s a reason people have mentioned this in their reviews… because it’s true! NCL proudly proclaims the prima has more outdoor space than any other ship and that’s probably true… but just as you’ve heard, that is also a drawback when faced with inclement and/or cold or windy weather conditions. this ship should not be cruising the north atlantic… it should be confined to the caribbean.

 

as on most ships, the crew is comprised of magnificent overachievers and recidivist slackers, some of whom should not be in customer contact positions. the senior officers, except those in food and beverage, are resistant to customer feedback and don’t really listen to their guests. the food is delicious (in some cases) and (in many other cases) not.

 

but one thing is for sure: in the main dining rooms, the food will always be served room temperature. the hot food is invariably served colder than most people would like; the cold food is invariably served warmer than it should be. (i took the behind-the-scenes tour and one of the things they pride themselves on in the galley is their adherence to food safety regulations and temperature checks… you walk away scratching your head after that because clearly nobody has dined at hudson’s, the primary MDR. everything has been sitting around there so long that it invariably becomes room temperature.)

 

i wanted very much to like the prima and was sure that all those online naysayers didn’t know what they were talking about, but, on balance, i’d have to say that the prima is not yet ready for prime time.

 

the prima is like going to hear your favorite band or artist and hearing only songs from the new album. some of those songs are good, but you still want to hear some greatest hits, too. there are few - possibly none - of those greatest hits on the prima.

 

oh sure… you can replace the fish on the carpet with triangles. you can do away with card rooms, libraries and meeting rooms. you can beef up outdoor space at the expense of having suitable indoor space. you can build venues that only seat a fraction of the number of people who want to visit that venue.  you can build a casino without a dedicated service bar. you can have a fixed menu in the MDR for the duration of the cruise. you can build a restaurant with limited seating that relies on tablet technology that doesn’t always work. you can build a buffet with limited seating. you can attempt to pass off a game show as professional show business cruise ship entertainment. you can hang confusing signage.

 

but if you do all that, people will clamor for what they liked about NCL’s other ships. you can’t change it all at once… you simply can’t. well, clearly you can…  but then you run the risk of getting too many things wrong. and, unfortunately, that’s what’s happened on the prima.

 

they’ve pretty much changed everything… some of it works, but quite a lot of it doesn’t... and management is not receptive to feedback and is sticking to its guns. in nearly a year, the only two things they’ve changed are the menus in the main dining rooms (they brought back rotating menus) and they’ve now put all comedy shows in the theatre to accommodate larger audiences (which makes the “improv” branding on their comedy venue confusing and unnecessary. it would be like having an ice cream shop that only served soup.)

 

overall grade for the prima: C

[UKstages]

embarkation

 

embarkation was relatively easy. it isn’t always that way at the manhattan cruise terminal, but this was painless. i live about 12 blocks from the pier, so i walked down around 9 AM. (i had a 9:30 am check-in time.) at check-in, the agent insisted on taking a new photo. i asked why. he said for “verification purposes.” i said, “there’s an approved photo in there already. there’s nothing wrong with it. it has been accepted and approved.”

 

he said, “no, that’s just for online check-in. this is different. we have to retake everybody’s photo when you show up in person… for verification purposes.” he was wrong, but i wasn’t going to press the issue... choose your battles. this wasn’t worth fighting over. and that’s how i would up with a photo of me - for 21 days - that looks like i just woke up in my cave in afghanistan, rather than a carefully posed and well-lit head shot that makes me look like brad pitt.

 

i am not in fact brad pitt.

 

(if i were, i wouldn’t be on NCL.)

 

but i also don’t live in a cave.

 

the idea of the early check-in time was to get onboard early and make last minute tweaks to restaurant reservations, book the behind-the-scenes latitudes tour and the wines around the world event, as well as shore excursions. i was onboard around 11:20 am and rooms were available shortly after 2 pm. i was able to complete most of my tasks within a half hour (more on that later) and was dining at the indulge food hall before noon.

 

embarkation: A

[UKstages]

cabins

 

i booked a club balcony “suite” on the first leg of this B2B, cabin 11344, which is neither a suite nor does it afford any benefits in any club that i’m aware of. (it’s not as if all the exclusive “club” balcony members got together every day for high tea while exchanging our secret handshakes.) but it was a great room, spacious and comfortable… until we set sail on the high seas. that’s when it became a hellscape from which there was no escape.  i’ve documented that (mis)adventure in another forum post and encourage you to read it, a link is provided in the first post of this review.

 

if you read that thread, you know i was eventually given an additional room to sleep in. that cabin, 10180, was a standard balcony. it was more spacious than balcony cabins on other ships and the bathroom – in all my cabins – was quite big, with an oversize shower that could easily accommodate somebody who was 6’4”. this cabin was quiet, with only some minor noise from the party crowd in the cabin next door, coming through the connecting door. 

 

the cabin booked for the second leg of this B2B was a family balcony, cabin 13190. it too was fine… large room, well appointed, big bathroom. (but i missed the extra space from the club balcony room, not to mention my fellow club members and that secret handshake.)

 

pro tip: there is no traditional dial on the shower heads to adjust the flow of water. but if you take the handheld shower head down and look on the back, you will see three or four buttons to adjust your stream. i’m willing to bet a lot of people never remove the shower head and miss that.

 

prima cabins: A*

 

*unless you get one of the rooms known by NCL to have an excessive noise problem caused by a structural defect, in which case: F

[UKstages]

entertainment: comedians

 

entertainment on this ship is lacking, with one notable exception. the comedians on the first leg of this cruise were truly exceptional. usually, out of three comedians, one will be pretty good and the other two will be terrible or one will be so-so and the other terrible. all three comedians on the 5/14 sailing from NYC to reykjavik were sensational, both together and individually. NCL should continue to book them... NCL should clone them and put them on every ship!

 

midway through the cruise, i hadn’t seen any of them, but i read in the daily that they were giving a midafternoon presentation on “how to give a comedy talk” or some such. well, the description was a complete misnomer; in truth, it was just the three of them holding court, talking about the biz and kibbitzing with each other. (they are all friends and know each other from the comedy club circuit.)

 

these three have incredible chemistry and this impromptu talk was one of the entertainment highlights of the cruise, i kid you not. scheduled for just 45 minutes, it easily could have gone on for two hours! not everything was funny; one particular anecdote that one comedian related was quite a touching story that brought tears to many. the three funnymen said this was the cruise director’s idea, to hold this banter-fest… and it was a great idea and should be continued on this and other ships. later in the week, i had the chance to see each of them perform individually and they did not disappoint. if you have a chance to see any of these guys onboard a ship or at your local comedy club, do not miss the opportunity. they are: jay black, frank townsend and lucas bone.

 

my score for these three comics: A+.

 

all comedy concerts are now presented in the prima theater, as the purpose-built “improv” venue is too damn small. management has finally recognized this. sadly, and inexplicably, there were NO comedians on board the second ten-day cruise… not a single one! i asked about this and was told that it was a corporate decision, that NCL had determined that humor is highly subjective and that on “international” itineraries not originating in the USA, the audience doesn’t “get” comedians.

 

hmmm… that may have been true years ago, but it is no longer true.

 

we live in a shrinking global community. american movies and sitcoms are exported all over the world. in fact, many people learn how to speak english by watching “friends” and “seinfeld,” so that excuse just doesn’t hold water in my book in this day and age. are there some culture and language differences, sure! but nothing that would prevent someone from enjoying a comedian. and why do they have to be american comedians? book a brit, an aussie, an indian or other southeast asian comedian. book a nigerian comedian, for goodness’ sake or someone from lithuania or poland!

 

funny is funny!

 

besides, there were a lot of aussies and brits on board, as well as a large number of americans. even if NCL’s data were true, it wouldn’t necessarily apply to those english speaking groups. and if we’re worried about an international audience not understanding english idioms or comedy, how do we expect them to appreciate “summer” or “the price is right” and its wisecracking host?

 

my score for having no comedians onboard whatsoever: F

[UKstages]

entertainment: donna summer

 

“oh, donna, oh, donna, looking for my donna…”

 

if you’re looking for your donna, you won’t find her on the prima!

 

the big deal entertainment on this ship is the broadway musical “summer:  the donna summer musical.” a critical and commercial failure on broadway some years back. it’s a “jukebox musical” featuring donna’s greatest hits set amidst the backdrop of her personal struggles and successes. or at least it’s supposed to be.

 

it was never a very good musical to begin with and it’s even less so in this mounting… partly because they’ve cut so much of the story out. it ran nearly two and half hours on broadway… as presented here, it’s a truncated 90 minutes or so. there is a whole photo montage at the end of the show of friends who donna lost to AIDs, but it falls flat because there is no context. that part of her story is never explored in this version; they cut all that out. the cast is uniformly good and the show has strong production values. so, it’s a really nice looking, well performed version of a confusing and decidedly lackluster show. i had a reservation to see it a second time on the second leg of this B2B cruise and i passed.

 

my score for summer: D, as in donna.

[UKstages]

 

entertainment: the price is right

 

the other big show on this ship is “the price is right.” it’s a live version of the popular daytime game show classic. hosted by an affable, but rather plastic and stepford husband type of guy. assisted by his real-life wife, the show runs about an hour. yes, contestants are chosen from the audience to populate “contestants' row” and, yes, four or five them do make it to the stage. and, yes, the show does feature all the familiar games you’d expect like the big wheel, plinko, cliffhangers and such. and, yes, somebody will have the chance to win a brand-new car!

 

but nobody is really going to win that car, as they’ve created unrealistic hurdles you have to get through in order to do so. they’ve essentially drafted new rules for the games and dumbed down the dollar values and the prizes. the most money most people will win – if they’re really lucky - is $200 or so. similarly, the top prize you might walk away with will be a TV set or a pair of beats headphones.

 

i’ve seen other versions of this show in land-based casinos and this is a very slick, well produced version, with good production values. but you don’t have much of a show if the most entertaining things presented onstage are archival film clips from the TV show itself. it’s essentially a really slick game show, something that would play in the atrium on any other ship, but here… it has been pimped out and promoted to a featured spot. strictly, speaking, it isn’t really cruise ship entertainment, but it’s better at doing what it sets out to do than “summer.” 

 

oh… and there is this… you’re required to wear a name tag, just like contestants on the real show. no problem, except the distribution of those name tags has not been thought through very well. it’s another example of folks on the prima not paying attention to small details. hidden within the daily on show days is a small line item that says “name tag distribution at the box office” or some such... three 90-minute periods throughout the day. there is no other notice. a lot of people didn’t see that.

 

so they also give out name tags as you enter the theater. but it’s incredibly inefficient for two reasons… there is no reason they couldn’t just send your name tags to your cabin in advance. it’s not like they don’t have your name. (and they sent a “price” letter to my cabin on embarkation day informing me of a change to a reserved show time.) the other reason is because the person who gives you your name tag and laboriously writes your name out on the spot is located before the person who swipes your card for entry. so even the people who already had their name tags had to wait in line behind the people who didn’t. simple fix: put the entry key card swiper BEFORE the guy who writes the name tags.

 

boom! you’ve just freed up more of your guests’ time, not penalized those who were good doobies and already had their name tags, and you’ve given more time for your drink servers to tend to more people inside the theater. simple things like this make a big difference in guest satisfaction and the prima fumbles and stumbles at almost every customer touchpoint.

 

also, it should be noted: as you find elsewhere on the ship, when they call you to the stage, they use your first middle and last name because that's what's in the NCL database. but it does make it seem like contestants' row is populated by serial killers... "lee harvey oswald, come on down, you're the next contestant on the price is right!"

 

interestingly, the original concept for the prima was to have FOUR game shows as entertainment! “the price is right” was to have been joined by “supermarket sweep, “press your luck” and “beat the clock.” this is one instance in which corporate is to be commended for coming to their collective senses and aborting that plan!

 

and does anyone remember that when the prima was first announced, one of the primary slots for onboard entertainment was to have been filled by the “light balance” troupe, the AGT favorites? what ever happened with that?

 

my score for “the price is right” is a solid C+.

[UKstages]

entertainment: syd norman’s

 

people raved about it. i never felt like waiting in line to get in. i saw a few of the performers in other venues, in other shows, and they were quite good.

 

i can’t really rate syd’s because i never went in there. but i’ll rate it anyway.

 

A for the quality of the entertainment (based on what people have told me)

C- for the size of the venue and the inconvenience involved in getting in to see the shows

[UKstages]

other entertainment

 

other entertainment, such as it was, was downright weird… a woman you’ve never heard of did a show called “how to be a headliner.” a violinist was brought on board for a solo show to accompany pre-recorded music tracks. some of the cast from “donna” and “syd norman’s” did a broadway revue that could have benefitted from more rehearsal… and a director. it, too, used prerecorded music tracks for half of the numbers presented. (the cast members on the joy do a similar show to much better effect.) there are solos, duos and trios playing in the atrium and at other spots around the ship and they offer theme shows, saluting the likes of johnny cash and ABBA. these were mostly good. and atrium-style events like “deal or no deal” are elevated to the theater on this ship. and while it’s good to get that nonsense out of the atrium, it’s not really a show.  again, there were no comedians brought onboard for the 5/25 sailing… none!

 

my score for prima entertainment overall: C-

[UKstages]

prima theater

 

the prima theater is a technological marvel. as you’ve probably heard by now, the theater itself features seats which fold up and get tucked away and slid under the balcony so they can transform the theater into a 3-story disco and event space. if you have an opportunity to watch this, do it! in my opinion, it’s more fascinating than most things they actually present on stage. the cruise director will often host a “show” after the first night of “summer” performances in which she invites people onstage to dance as the rest of the audience (in the mezzanine and balcony) watch the transformation, which takes about 25 minutes. they use the empty space for embarkation day restaurant reservations and to accommodate disembarkation lines (if deck six is where the gangways are set up) and other special events.

 

now, the same things that make the theater so flexible also are drawbacks when it comes to being a theater. the seats are, to put it politely, flimsy and not cushioned all that well. and not all of them work properly, since they get slammed down and put away on an almost daily basis. also, the seating in the mezzanine and balcony don’t offer great sightlines, although they are usually fine for solo performers who stay center stage. most seats offer pull down drink holders and pre-show drink service is good.

 

the theater features a state-of-the-art LED screen that offers stunning presentation capabilities and opportunities, most of which are squandered. the legit shows (“summer” and “price”) make good use of these, but otherwise they just display sloppily made boring powerpoint images which haven’t really been prepared by design professionals.

 

still, the theater is a wonder.

 

such a shame that nothing in it is as good as the theater itself.

 

the theater: A-

[UKstages]

housekeeping

 

housekeeping in all cabins was good, the stewards (all of mine were male) were personable and attentive, although i didn’t have the cabin made up at all in the room i used just for sleeping. both of the other attendants introduced themselves on embarkation day, asked about my schedule and my preferences and when i wanted the room made up. i explained that later in the day was usually good for me. and so my cabin was always made up according to that preference.

 

i did not have any problem whatsoever with the once-a-day service; it worked out fine for me.  one thing i’ve noticed, however, and i haven’t seen commented on elsewhere: there appears to be a lot more room service trays, plates, glasses and such left outside staterooms in the halls. service items removed from the buffet and the indulge food hall, too. i believe it’s not because people are dining in their rooms more… i think it’s because cabin attendants don’t have a second shift, so they are not picking up these items as promptly as they used to. no harm, no foul, i suppose, but it doesn’t look great and could be a tripping hazard for some.

 

i did ask for extra towels and got them. i noticed on the second cruise, that the steward had placed four or five extra towels in the cupboard under the sink, along with several rolls of toilet paper. not sure if that was there for his convenience or mine, but i appreciated it. check under the sink in your cabin… there might be extra supplies in there.

 

my attendants told me they used to have 15 cabins, and with the recent change, they now have 20.

 

i get a lot of “treats” delivered to my cabin from the casino and i get at least one bottle of prosecco on embarkation day, although i got none on the second cruise. not a problem for me, as i don’t drink it… it’s better than the bad sparkling wine they used to offer, but it’s just not that good. it’s the same stuff you can get at any bar if you order prosecco. i had that and a couple of bottles of “platinum dinner” wine unconsumed at the end of the cruise and i asked my cabin attendant if he wanted them. i wasn’t sure if he could take them. (i had offered them to my casino host and she said she was unable to accept tips of any kind.) he was very appreciative… not sure if they were for him, whether he actually drank them, or if he was accepting them to exchange or barter with others.

 

i get “ultra” drinks in the casino, so i will often bring back a bottle or two of pellegrino and put it in the fridge. on day 2, i was surprised to find a promotional “for sale” hangtag on my bottle of pellegrino! i explained to the cabin attendant that it was “my” bottle (from the casino) and not a bottle for purchase and there was no problem after that.

 

i thought housekeeping service was very good. and so i tipped both cabin attendants PHP 6000. (that’s 6000 filipino pesos, which is equivalent to about $120. the cruise duration was 11 days and 10 days.) i gave the non-filipino attendant for my additional sleeping room twenty bucks.  he didn’t actually do anything in the room for me, but he was very attentive and always asked if i needed anything.

 

housekeeping: A

[UKstages]

room service

 

i didn’t use room service. but the room service folks are also responsible for delivering the aforementioned “treats”… treats given to the club balcony guests and those sent by the casino. because i was sleepless for nearly three days due to cabin noise (read my other post), i often had the “do not disturb” sign on during the day on sea days. and just as often, i would be awakened by a phone call from the room service folks who pointed out that i had DND on and wondering when i would like my delivery.

 

that’s just bad form… what about “do not disturb” do they not understand? this is another example of people on NCL ships not paying attention to small details.

 

and they don’t come back to redeliver, by the way… those treats are lost forever. they said they would come back, but i waited ninety minutes and let it go. my time is worth more than a half dozen chocolate covered strawberries.

 

i did get shrimp cocktail sent by the casino one day… and because that is a ”perishable” item, they deliver that at a prearranged time. and - indeed - it arrived within five minutes of that time, so that was well handled.

 

pro tip: many people don’t realize that you can make and change your restaurant reservations through room service. there is a button on the phone for this, although they will invariably answer “room service” because… few people on NCL ships pay attention to small details. but this works really well and can be requested or changed at virtually at any time. there was never an occasion when i was not able to make or change my reservation.

 

room service delivery: C

restaurant reservations through room service: A+

[UKstages]

the buffet

 

the buffet, the “surfside café and grill,” is really in two parts… there’s the traditional buffet, a.k.a. the “café,” and then there is a smaller “grill,” that serves mostly hamburgers and steaks (although at breakfast, it’s just another place to pick up bacon, eggs and sausage. i think i saw eggs benedict in there, too.)

 

everything you’ve heard is true here, too… it’s small and crowded and kind of noisy and raucous and the food is, well, about the same as any other NCL buffet. i only ate here twice in 21 days, as i had 10 specialty meals booked and most of my other meals were in the indulge food hall or the local.

 

i would have eaten here more had it been easier to get - and keep - a seat.  it’s a problem for solo diners… there is no easy way to get up and get your food and expect your table to still be there, unoccupied, when you get back. there was a clever fellow, now deceased, who ran a gambling website called the “seven stars insider” and he published a downloadable printable notice that said something like “table occupied… be right back.” or something like that. makes a lot of sense to carry one of those with you if you’re going solo on the prima and intend to eat at the buffet.

 

my score for the buffet: C

[UKstages]

indulge food hall

 

this dining option is terrific and consistently offers some of the best food on the ship.

 

but imagine if everybody who couldn’t get tickets to a taylor swift concert showed up anyway, not to sit in the parking lot, but to storm the barricades and wander around the arena looking for a place to sit.

 

that’s what dining at the indulge food hall is like. it is immensely popular, and even more so as the cruise progresses and word gets out how good it is or people return to get more of what they enjoy. it’s the syd norman’s of NCL restaurants… tremendously satisfying, but you really have to plan ahead and be willing to get there long before they open.

 

there’s a sign at the entrance to the food hall that says “feel free to sit wherever you want.”

 

if only!

 

i don’t think anybody at NCL understands how grating that sign is or how ironic. it should probably be changed to one that says “take no prisoners and pray.”

 

the place is just too damn small. outdoor seating doesn’t help in inclement weather and – besides – it requires human beings to take orders, which upends the high-tech concept. NCL was counting on that outdoor seating to expand the dining capacity and - at the same time - they severely underestimated how popular indulge would be. as far as human beings taking orders… the tablets are temperamental. sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. the tablets use the same wonky internet that we do, and when the software updates, things slow down and your interaction with the tablet delivers error messages and not food. on four separate days (out of 15 or so that i chose to indulge myself), i was given a paper menu and could not order on the tablet.

 

it is a great concept, mostly well executed, except for the tricky tablets and the size of the venue. if you get there a half hour before they open, or possibly twenty minutes or so before they close, you will be able to find a seat, but arrive once service has already begun and you’re out of luck…. most times. many people seem to set up camp and stay for a couple of hours, which means that many of the tables won’t “turn” during opening hours and won’t offer additional guests the chance to dine. there’s also a fair amount of chair swapping and “borrowing,” which leaves some tables without the proper number of chairs. and there are large tables being occupied by just one person, who often say they are waiting for their friends or family to arrive. i was told that very thing, then found a seat, then walked out after having eaten about 40 minutes later, only to see the same person still holding an empty table. bear in mind that lunch service only runs two hours… and that one person occupied an empty table without ordering anything for at least forty minutes.

 

solo diners are at a particular disadvantage… in two ways… most of the seating is for four or more. (there are also a few tables for two.) and most desserts are self-serve, requiring you to go fetch them. of course, if you do that, vultures will swoop in and take your table. (can’t blame therm.) i was able to befriend nearby tablemates, who saved my seat.  but i wound up eating many of my desserts standing, at a counter, on my way out of the food hall. the “free” desserts aren’t that great, anyway. they do offer a mini deconstructed version of banana banoffee, the popular dessert normally only available in the haven. it’s not quite the same as the big version in the haven, but it hits many of the same flavor notes. the paid desserts, available at “cocos” for $3 or so, appear to be much more upscale. (i didn’t try any.)

 

there is a “freestyle” self-serve coke machine in the beverage station at indulge, but it doesn’t work as often as it does. you must scan your keycard in order to authorize the dispensing of drinks and that functionality breaks down frequently. also, they only put plastic cups out during opening hours, so you can’t go in there and get a drink at any other time. of note: this machine may be the only place onboard you can get minute maid lemonade!

 

there are a few other problems, namely that those who can find a seat adjacent to each of the restaurants can only order food from that restaurant. the other dining options won’t show up on the tablet at all. this is another example of NCL suits sticking to their original concept, even though it proves to be flawed once deployed and an impediment to their guests’ enjoyment. there is no reason those valuable seats can’t be made into “universal” dining spots. if the NCL dining team who conceived this think there is interaction between the guests and the chefs behind the counter (presumably that’s the reason they did it this way), they need only visit to see that’s not happening. those seats need to be converted to universal dining. there are also many bar stools at dining counters, which poses a problem for some older guests (a target demographic). as you get older, many people require back support. they can’t sit on stools without a back. many can’t get on stools at all.

 

another problem is that many NCL customers seem a bit bewildered by the tablets. several times, i was called to duty to explain to people how to use them. a big part of the problem is that after you place your order, you haven’t really placed your order. a screen pops up, a few moments later, asking if you want to tip. if you don’t see this, or don’t make a selection, your order will time out. also, the tablets are a disaster for ordering drinks… most drinks are shown as being “sold out.” and the few that are capable of being ordered through the tablet are shown with prices, which confuses people. and if they are able to figure out how to order, a 20% tip automagically appears on the screen further confusing people, since the drinks are fee for those with a drink package. another ordering problem is that certain items can be “customized,” and few people understand how that works. essentially, you’re given a grouping of related items like condiments at tamara, but you have to go in and individually select each one you want separately in order to customize.

 

please note that menus for all restaurants differ from lunch to dinner and your favorite item at lunch may not be available during the dinner service. my favorite “restaurants” at the indulge food hall are tamara, serving authentic Indian food and “q,” which offers a somewhat simplified version of the menu served at the “q” specialty restaurants onboard other NCL ships. one problem with “q” is that, unlike the full-service specialty restaurants on other ships, there are no barbecue sauces available for your use tableside and most of the items are served under-sauced, using just one classic sauce. (there are no options for other bbq sauces.) that’s a problem for a barbecue joint! they should make a “side” of barbecue sauce available to order as an option on the tablet.

 

other restaurants here include “nudls” featuring asian, italian and german noodle dishes (including an excellent shrimp pad thai), the latin quarter (apps), tapas (served out of a food truck), the seaside rotisserie (serving all manner of grilled and skewered meat) and “the garden” (salads). there is also a pay for play starbucks, as well as a full bar, both inside and outdoors.

 

my score for indulge is a solid B, but it would be an A+ if they could figure out how to handle the volume of guests who wish to be served. (perhaps open a take-out window?)

[UKstages]

los lobos

 

one of the best specialty restaurants on the prima. great service. personable staff. tasty and consistent food, killer spicy margaritas, fun and flavorful tableside guacamole, great Mexican street corn. i ate here three times on my 21 day back-to-back.

 

my score: A

[UKstages]

onda by scarpetta

 

this is another standout on the prima. i ate here three times, as well. attentive service, wonderful negronis, great filet, terrific and authentic pasta, great pizza. (unlike la cucina on other ships, you CAN get pizza as an app here on the dining plan!) it’s a lot of food and my only quibble is that they don’t offer doggie bags, or any type of container, as per a corporate mandate. there’s no way you can eat all that pizza and still have room for the rest of your meal. i took mine back to my cabin on a plate, with a cloth napkin, and had it for breakfast.

 

my score: A+

[UKstages]

cagney’s

 

a solid outpost of the popular cagney’s franchise. meat cooked properly, plentiful and well prepared sides, attentive service, attractive surroundings. there’s nothing spectacular here, but in a world where some cagney’s restaurants on some ships are hit or miss, this is a well-executed version of NCL’s signature steakhouse. i ate here twice.

 

my score: B

[UKstages]

le bistro

 

what can you say about what purports to be the most elegant restaurant on the ship when more than half the tables have views of lifeboats? WHAT were they thinking? the food is good, but the menu has grown stale… and what’s with the upcharge now on the beef rossini? it is arguably the same filet you get at cagney’s and onda with no surcharge. and those scallops… could they possibly be more diminutive and inconsequential? service is attentive, but there is just something off about this version of le bistro. i’ve been on ships on which cagney’s was off. i’ve been on ships on which moderno was off. on this ship… le bistro is off. the staff tries hard, the food is OK, but sometimes things just don’t gel. that was the case here.

 

i had a second visit planned here for the second cruise and i canceled.

 

my score: C

[UKstages]

palomar

 

this is another example of a restaurant searching for a concept and a purpose.  NCL was hoping to develop a new hot dining venue they could replicate on other ships going forward, but nearly everything about it falls flat. it has no clear identity, although i take it it’s supposed to be primarily a mediterranean seafood house. but they mix cuisines and proteins indiscriminately. they have those stainless or nickel salt and pepper mills here that many have admired in other restaurants onboard. the only problem was that the salt was placed in the pepper chamber and the pepper in the salt chamber. so, when you followed the “S” and “P” arrows and twisted in the appropriate direction, the wrong spice came out. (at least at my table.) service was attentive.

 

favorite dishes? only a couple. i had the scallops and they varied between being undercooked and just fine… on the same plate.  but they weren’t really seasoned. they didn’t taste like anything, especially scallops.  i will say that the greek dessert, galaltoboureko, was tasty and authentic. and the “mushroom tartare,” as an app, was absolutely a standout. i’d eat that every day, if i could. everything else was just barely OK, but nothing to write home about.

 

i had a reservation to eat here again on the last night of the cruise, but changed it to onda.

 

mmm... onda!

 

my score: C

[UKstages]

the local

 

the local on the prima is really two restaurants. there is a long passage on the starboard side of the ship with the bar and a collection of small low-rise tables (coffee table height), which seat two to four comfortably. these are ideal for drinking, not so much for eating. there are also a series of high-rise communal tables, which seat six or eight people, as well as seating at the bar. on the other side of the kitchen, is a traditional coffee house restaurant set up, with closely packed tables.

 

i found that of all the restaurants on the prima, the local was the most consistently inconsistent. portion size, temperature of the food, availability of items, service… these all varied wildly. service was mostly poor.

 

on the bar side, it often took quite some time to get a server’s attention. and when he arrived, he would invariably get the order wrong. or forget an important part of the order, such as utensils. it’s pretty hard to eat chili without a spoon. or a piece of cake without a fork (or a spoon). and there is no reason you should have to wait twenty minutes to receive a caesar salad and a bowl of chili, both of which are pre-made.

 

(on a side note, regarding caesar salad… i have yet to see an appreciable difference between the caesar salad at the local and that served by cagney’s or the MDR or any other restaurant. OK, maybe you get an extra morsel of shaved parmesan at cagney’s… but it’s essentially the same product in every restaurant!)

 

the bartenders are all wonderful, but not very attentive. they do a big walkup business at this bar and waits of five to ten minutes are not uncommon. i would be OK with this, if the bartenders acknowledged you as you arrived and told you they will be with you in a few minutes. but they won’t make eye contact. so you wonder if they’re just busy or if they haven’t seen you. on several occasions, i would wait patiently and then somebody new would walk up just as a bartender finished a drink and then he or she would move on immediately to the new person, without serving me. at other times, there would be a bartender back there, not making drinks, but asking others questions… “have you seen pilar? where is pilar? is pilar on beak?” and still others would be stocking the fridges rather than tending to customers.

 

on the restaurant side, they seemed similarly clueless.

 

on one occasion, i saw that everybody who ordered after me had already received their meals. i was waiting ten or fifteen minutes, which is a long time at the local, where a limited menu and premade items generally mean service is quick. i asked the hostess and she checked in the kitchen and came back and apologized and said there was a problem with the POS system and my order had never printed. OK, fair enough, but hadn’t anyone who kept passing by my table noticed that i had never received anything to eat?

 

another time, i asked for a sprite zero and the server disappeared and went to the bar and came back and said they were out of sprite zero. another server appeared less than a minute later and i ordered a sprite zero (“if they have it,” i said) and some food. she came back 90 seconds later with a sprite zero, which she got, she said, from the bar at the local.

 

the local also has an outdoor dining area on the prima, adjacent to the restaurant on the port side. same food, same service. but if you enjoy your reuben sandwich interrupted every couple of minutes by screams from those plummeting down the side of the ship in one of the slides, the outdoor local is for you. due to bad weather, i only saw this outdoor area open on two days throughout my entire 21 days onboard.

 

they don’t handle special requests very well. ask for an extra ramekin of thousand island dressing for your reuben in addition to the dressing they normally put on the sandwich and you will get a sandwich with no dressing and the requested dressing on the side. ask for a sprite zero with a splash of cranberry and you will get a sprite zero and a separate glass of cranberry juice.

 

when they get things right at the local (it does happen), it’s a great venue, with tasty food available virtually around the clock, and – since sandwiches and burgers are cooked to order – you can actually get some of the hottest food on the ship at the local. but catch them at an odd time, with an indifferent server and you’d be much better off with room service.

 

my score for the local, therefore, is in two parts…

 

for the food and the nearly 24-hour access and convenience: B

 

for the staff and the service and the overall lackadaisical nature of the place C-

[UKstages]

hudson’s and the commodore room

 

these are the two main dining rooms on the prima, both venues serving the same food each night. they used to feature the same menu for every night of the cruise, but, thankfully, that’s been changed. the menu now rotates, as on every other NCL ship.

 

the wraparound views in hudson’s are stunning, but the choice for their chandeliers can only be described as puzzling. they look like spatulas one might find in liberace’s kitchen. the food is decent… you’ll find something to eat. but it’s mass produced catering hall food, largely unseasoned and under-seasoned and it’s always served room temperature, regardless of what you order. special requests are honored, but just barely so. if you ask for extra marinara sauce or crushed red pepper (or “chili flakes” as the filipinos call them) for your chicken parm, the waiter will arrive without them, but then bring them, after you’ve consumed ¾ of your meal.

 

there is often a long line at hudson’s and they will give you a beeper and tell you to return when a table is available. one day, when the restaurant was very busy, i agreed to share a table. i didn’t realize it would be a table for ten or twelve or whatever it was. i thought i would be sharing a table for two. i met some interesting people, but a table of that size, with different couples and solos, will slow down service considerably. it took me close to two hours to have lunch!

 

another day, i was told to wait until a table was ready… they had no two tops. over the next ten minutes, i watched as two separate couples arrived and were seated ahead of me, each at their own table of four, apparently. i asked about this and they said that’s because they can seat two people at a table of four, but solo diners can only be seated at a table for two. i pointed out that if they seat one person at a table for four, and two people at a table for two, they will have the same number of empty seats… three. so why not seat the diners in the order they arrive? this is another example of “rules” that staff must follow, even when they don’t make sense and they can’t explain them.

 

seating at hudson’s is in three or four concentric “rings” that line the perimeter of the space. that’s great, but if you’re in that outer ring, not only is it very busy - with lots of foot traffic - but people think you’re staring at them when all you’re really doing is trying to look at the view out of the floor to ceiling windows.

 

i had prebooked reservations at hudson’s on several nights, but that doesn’t seem to matter. you still have to line up in a general queue to get to the host station and enter the restaurant.

 

i never got to try the commodore room, as it was “closed for a private function” throughout the entirety of the second cruise. i had prebooked reservations for this restaurant and wasn’t informed until i showed up at the venue. apparently, they closed the room for a group of only 125 who were onboard. this, in my opinion, put a strain on other dining venues throughout the cruise. (that same group, by the way, dined in all the other venues and was quite rowdy… applauding and whistling and whooping and hollering inappropriately during shows in the prima theater. at one point, they were scolded from the stage by performers and security had to be brought in to quiet them down.)

 

my score for hudson’s…

 

view: A+

food, service: B

[UKstages]

signage / navigation

 

there have been some reports online that the signage is very bad on the prima and that people don’t know where to go or how to get there. i didn’t find that to be the case, from the very earliest days of the trip, i had no problem finding my way around. there are a lot of directional signs!

 

i do believe there is one fatal flaw with the design of one type of sign, however… and as often as i looked at this sign, it still messed with my mind till the very last day of the cruise. throughout the ship, at every elevator bank on every deck, there is a graphic image of the ship that orients you toward the front and back of the ship and features the words “port” and “starboard.”

 

HOWEVER, they only put those words on the bottom of the graphic, regardless of which way the front of the ship is or which side you’re standing on. so, depending on where you are, and how linguistically inclined you are (as opposed to being primarily a visual learner), the word “port” would be placed adjacent to the starboard side of the graphic, and the word “starboard” would be placed adjacent to the port side of the graphic. i figured out what was going on pretty quickly, but my mind still struggles to reconcile that disconnect every single time. (it’s as if you were viewing the word “brown” but it was printed in the color blue.)

 

signage: B

 

 

[UKstages]

UK immigration

 

as is now customary, there was an “oversea enroute” face-to-face UK immigration inspection a few days before we actually arrived in the UK. this is one of those things that is truly done “for your convenience” and eliminates bottlenecks when arriving in southampton…. so, bravo!  but, like many things on the prima, it was mishandled.

 

i arrived at the observation lounge at the appointed time for my deck, only to be told they were running late and to come back “later.”  i asked how i would know when to come back… they said they have been announcing this delay on the PA system. i said, “uh, no, you haven’t, actually. I’ve been listening for it. there have been no announcements.”

 

a tussle, er, spirited conversation, ensued in which the assistant GM, who seemed to be in charge, insisted to me and several other guests that they had indeed been announcing the delay and advising people of which group was currently being called. in the meantime, one couple said they couldn’t come back later, as they had other plans, and they were let through.

 

the GM got on her phone to verify that they had been making announcements and found out very quickly that – for whatever reason – they had not. the inspection had been going on for almost three hours at that point and not a single announcement had been made. she didn’t apologize, but she let all of the people with whom she had tussled through.

 

this is yet another example of NCL not fixing the underlying problem. announcements commenced shortly thereafter, but there didn’t appear to be any examination as to why they hadn’t been delivered previously… and no examination of how the people running this thing, never stopped to realize that they themselves heard no announcements in the observation lounge, which has a PA system on which these things are played.

 

UK immigration: A, for convenience in disembarkation, F for execution.

[UKstages]

elevators

 

the online reports are true. there are indeed long waits for elevators. except when there aren’t, such as very late at night. i’m not sure if this is appreciably different than other ships, but it did feel like there were longer than usual waits. perhaps that’s because of the haven exclusive elevator bank at the aft of the ship, which seems to be where an elevator bank for the gen pop would normally be. 

 

pro tip: if coming from an upper deck, it’s much quicker to take one of the two slides down to deck 8 rather than wait for the lift. you’re welcome.

 

elevators: B-

[UKstages]

rubber ducks

 

i’ll freely admit that i don’t really understand the curious practice of “hiding” rubber ducks around the ship. maybe it gives kids something to do, and maybe they’ll receive one online status report for every twenty ducks released into the wild, so the organizer can find out where his or her duck has traveled to… and that might be interesting for a minute and a half or so. but i myself just don’t get it.

 

i did find a duck on one of the main stairwells on the very first day on my way to dinner. i took it with me and placed it on the table, so i could read the tag and figure out what it was all about. no sooner had i done that than my server pounced on the duck, picked it up and claimed it as her own.  there was no question involved… it wasn’t as if she said “how cute! may i have this?” it was more like an assertive, assumptive “rubber ducky, you’re the one! you are now mine!” it all happened so quickly and was so odd that (this thing i didn’t want and had no allegiance to) would be snatched away from me without notice.

 

i found another duck on the stairs on the second cruise and put it back into the pool, so to speak, for others to find/enjoy. but what’s with the hiding in plain sight? wouldn’t the whole thing be more fun if these were actually hidden in game cabinets in the observation lounge or under couches or in go cart cars or on top of or inside a mini golf obstacle or under a stack of wrapped napkins and utensils at the buffet?

 

rubber ducks… no score, just a big: ?