i spent 21 days onboard NCL prima... here is my prima facie case for the good, the bad and the fugly

[UKstages]

hawking and needling and harassing, oh my!

 

as on all ships. there’s a lot of relentless hawking of merchandise, spa treatments, cruise next certificates, duty free goods, jewelry and art on the prima. the park west “art” gallery and the cruise next team are the major offenders here. i think there should be an “opt out” program. sign up and these charlatans can no longer leave you voicemails every day. wear an opt out sticker or pin and they can’t pitch you as you pass them in the hallways.

 

#MakeItHappenNCL

 

my score for relentless hawking: F

 

(well, in truth, they get an A for the actual hawking, they do that really well, but assuming that most guests don’t want to be bothered, that’s an F for bothering everybody and relentlessly pitching merchandise and services of no interest to many.)

 

[UKstages]

 

casino

 

the casino is small, but rather expansive! it’s set up over a large part of deck 6. i like the layout, although others have complained that it’s too spread out. there is a small-ish smoking room with a good number of slot machines and two tables. the smoke seeps out from that room and much of the nonsmoking casino surrounding that area has a strong smoke smell… so about 25% or 30% of the nonsmoking casino is really off limits to those sensitive or allergic to smoke. the stale cigarette smell extends to the duty free liquor shop located on the other side of the smoking room. on embarkation day, when we know that nobody has been playing in the casino for the previous six, eight or ten hours, the smell still lingers.

 

there is a small, unmarked “VIP room,” behind the penrose bar. (enter from either side). it has a few high limit tables and two multigame video poker machines. also, cookies or pastries are available there through much of the day.  i spent a lot of time in there playing VP because it was a quiet place to play and they have great air conditioning. rarely was there anybody else in there. both of those machines had problems, however, and they had to be rebooted seven times… meaning that my play was interrupted seven times by machine malfunctions. there were three other VP machines on the floor that had the same problem and had to be rebooted. that’s ten times on five machines. it’s really easy for the house to make money in a casino, but you kinda have to keep the machines in good running order! (there were other machine problems, including many machines that had no sound. hey, gambling is entertainment… would you watch a movie without sound?)  the staff, slot attendants, hosts and slot techs are terrific and focused on guest satisfaction in a way that few other departments on the ship are.

 

the penrose bar serves as the casino bar, so if you have a “free drinks” card from the casino, you can get your comped drinks at that bar. but because the penrose serves as a gen pop atrium bar, they are overtaxed and have difficulty keeping up with casino drink orders. as at many bars throughout the ship, there can be long waits for service. in addition, there are servers who will bring you a drink at your table or machine. but the speed of service is hampered by how slammed the bartenders are. if you’re a strong player with a frequent casino presence, the slot attendants, hosts and servers will know you by name and check in regularly to see if you need anything.

 

the machine mix in the casino itself is odd… some popular games like buffalo and money burst and rich little piggies thrown together with a bunch of machines you’ve likely never seen or heard of before. there’s no way of knowing what the payback is in this casino, but let’s just say those rich little piggies are now on public assistance. and after spending 21 days onboard, i’m here to tell you that the machines don’t “feel” like the machines in major gaming jurisdictions or even other NCL ships. they just don’t play the same. you can’t really tell unless you play millions and millions of spins (which i didn’t, of course), but my best guess is that payback is probably close to 75%, which is an abysmal return. i played slots and VP and had a very bad run at VP, including 3-line and 5-line ultimate X at the 25 cent denomination, so this was an incredibly expensive vacation!

 

(VP paytables are surprisingly decent, by the way. there is no “full pay” VP, but 9/5 jacks is widely available and that’s better than what you will find in some land-based casinos and far better than what you’ll find on many cruise ships.)

 

my cruises are “free” from casinos at sea. i pay port fees, taxes and gratuities. based on my action and loss this trip, i’m pretty damn sure the offers will continue. (i’ve come home a winner before from some cruises. on others, i’ve lost money. this was one of those other cruises!)

 

my overall score for the casino: B

drink service: B

the likelihood of winning any money: F.

[UKstages]

smoking

 

i don’t smoke.  i don’t like the smell or the exposure to the carcinogens contained in second hand smoke. the same applies to the carcinogens in vape smoke.  i consider it a serious health risk. so i appreciate that the prima, like all NCL ships, is largely smoke-free.  of course, there are about 11% - 15% of those reading this who will say there aren’t enough places to smoke onboard.

 

anyway, that’s my perspective from the get go. and it’s the perspective through which i filter the following comment: the prima fails at maintaining a smoke free environment and has lax enforcement of onboard smoking regulations.

 

within three minutes of boarding, i was outdoors on deck 8 and i passed a guy vaping. a few minutes later, i passed another. this would continue, both indoors and outdoors, for the next 21 days. the vapers either haven’t read the rules or don’t care about the rules. or they think the smoking rules don’t apply to them. or they are just so self-entitled as to not care about their fellow passengers. any way you slice it, there is a whole lot of vaping going on… some of it is blatant and some of it is surreptitious. but i never once saw a member of staff tell anybody to stop.

 

the casino is non-smoking, but as reported upthread, a good portion of the casino adjacent to the smoking room stinks like stale cigarettes. similarly, there is a humidor (a cigar room) on deck 7. the smoke smell from that humidor, which has an ineffective double locking door entry chamber (like on the starship enterprise) extends all the way past the metropolitan bar to the hallway leading to hudson’s, to the stairwells on decks 6, 7 and 8, and to the entry of both the local and los lobos (deck 8).

 

a good part of the problem is that, based on my unscientific study (looking through the glass each time i passed), most of the people who use the humidor appear to be using it to smoke cigarettes, which is forbidden. cigar smoking only, according to NCL. and the more people that go in there to smoke cigarettes, the more times the door is opened, allowing smoke to escape.

 

and yet nobody from staff monitors this room or says anything to the folks who go in there and smoke cigarettes. and if they do, the passengers aren’t listening.

 

you simply can’t have an effective smoking room if smoke from that rooms dissipates over square footage far greater than the room itself.

 

then there are the people who believe it is their birthright to smoke (cigarettes and marijuana) on their balconies. (six rooms near me on this 21 day cruise). that’s both an annoyance and a fire hazard. and nothing is done when you report it. cruise after cruise, ship after ship.

 

adherence to and enforcement of NCL smoking policy: F

[UKstages]

excursions

 

let me first explain that i have very mixed feelings about NCL excursions. they are overpriced, sometimes obscenely so. and yet, they are convenient. and there is that thing about them holding the ship if you’re delayed. that’s more of a marketing and sales tactic than something that the average person has to ever worry about, and yet it does lend itself to peace of mind. plus, i usually have $400 - $600 in nonrefundable OBC for each cruise, and i do get a 15% latitudes discount, and $50 FAS off each tour, so i do book NCL excursions.

 

of course, NCL does not allow you to book excursions in advance and charge them against OBC, so that poses a problem. or, i should say, it’s never been a problem before this trip. on this trip… yes, big problem. on both cruises, i had trouble booking tours and also getting preferred times for the tours i could book. also, the price of the tours invariably is higher once onboard and you have to really hound them to get your latitudes discount and $50 credit. yes, i know you can book in advance, pay for them, cancel onboard and rebook using OBC… but that is just so… cumbersome, especially if they charge you the higher price once onboard.

 

i made a point to get on the ship early so i could be among the first to visit the excursions desk. and i was there at about 11:25 on embarkation day in NYC. as it happens, their “system” was down. so they couldn’t take any orders or fulfill any requests. they asked me to fill out a paper order form. i did, and then next day i received a notice that two of my requested excursions were “sold out” and that I had been placed on a waiting list for them. one of the tours that was “sold out” was a hop on hop off bus “tour” for halifax. how do you sell out of a “hop on hop off” tour with virtually limitless capacity? there was no word on the other excursions, all of which were for many days ahead… the iceland stops at the back end of the cruise.

 

the next day, i received a ticket for that hop on hop off tour. but still no word on the icelandic excursions. a couple of days before we hit our first port in iceland, i stopped at the shorex desk to ask if i should be concerned that i hadn’t received my tickets yet. the rep looked in the computer and said there was nothing there… i had no excursions in iceland. then she excused herself and went into the back office… for fifteen minutes. when she came out, she gave me my tickets for three excursions. she said they were there, but they hadn’t been printed yet.

 

something didn’t smell right about that. and the times were off. one tour was for 7:15 am… i’m not a 7:15 am kind of guy. basically, i think what happened is that my excursion requests were not processed properly and she went in the back and found the original order form and set me up. if all that needed to happen were for the tickets to be printed, it would not have taken fifteen minutes. and my requests would already have been in the “system,” displayed on the computer.

 

as it happens, two of those tours were to be canceled because of port cancellations and delays, which left me with a $300 overage in nonrefundable OBC. so i bought a $321 bottle of macallan enigma… and i don’t even drink scotch. but it’s nice to have in my bar for friends.

 

similar (mis)adventures with shorex on the second cruise… sold out tours, waiting lists and inexplicable booking practices. there is no prioritization of orders… the orders don’t seem to be processed in the order in which they come in, and there is no apparent prioritization due to latitudes status. (that has never been a promised benefit. should it be?) and there is very little transparency with these guys. i swear, they just make stuff up. of the five or six of them, i found one who i felt was a straight up legit rep.

 

the quality of the actual tours varied widely, as it does when you book outside of NCL, but overall, i was happy with the tours once they were underway. several of the iceland and norway tours delivered on the promise of breathtaking scenery of mountains, fjords and waterfalls.

 

shorex desk: C+

the tours: B+

[UKstages]

cruise next

 

i have never used cruise next certificates and see no value in using them. all my base fares are covered by the casino and i make good use of $250 = $500 cruise first certificates for ancillary expenses. so, my dealings with cruise next mostly involves deleting seven or eight broadcast voicemails from them on my stateroom phone, throwing away six or seven flyers delivered to the stateroom, and avoiding their gaze at cocktail parties and when traveling about the ship. but i do have to check in with them for booking of behind-the-scenes tours and wines around the world. after the first cruise, i became sapphire, so there was also the matter of booking “dinner with the officers.”

 

i received my very first latitudes pin… what are these for exactly? i did actually see somebody wearing one, but i can’t for the life of me understand why. because i had never received one before, the CN rep gave me both a platinum and a sapphire. um, thanks. i think.

 

i was able to book wines, BTS and the dinner with officers. i went on the BTS tour for the first time and found it interesting. i didn’t attend “wines around the world” on the first cruise because i hadn’t had any sleep (see my other post) and on the second cruise, i forgot completely about it. it would be lovely if this appeared in your app’s daily schedule as a booked item, but it doesn’t. and the dinner with officers? i never received a letter informing me of the day, time and location. now if you’ve read my other post about this cruise, you may remember that on the first cruise i received several misdirected messages… one of them was for somebody’s dinner with officers. perhaps my invitation went astray. perhaps the information wasn’t entered properly or my invitation went to my old stateroom. not a major mishap, but, i would have had a lot to say to officers! of course, i did notice on that letter i received for somebody else that the “officers” were a manager of something or other and a cruise next rep… not exactly my idea of a fun or worthwhile evening.

 

my score for cruise next: C-

[UKstages]

so, wrapping up here… is 21 days too long to spend on one ship?

 

normally, i’d say no… but with many canceled ports on this itinerary and the transatlantic nature of the first cruise, this meant there were 10 or 11 sea days, depending on how you calculate. and most of those were with bad weather and colder temperatures, and since the prima has so much outdoor space, it definitely put a damper on the trip.

 

would i do it again? yes, but not on the prima. perhaps never on the prima. for now, she’s a one and done. (or “two in one” and done).

 

would i try the viva?

 

sure. it will be interesting to see what corrective measures they take fixing some of the known problems. but i think we’re likely not to see real design improvements until the prima class ship after that.

 

my next cruise is on the joy in october.

 

i’ve been on the joy before.

 

and so i can say with certainty that there is no joy in prima-ville.

[Huntingdon1701]

Thanks for the candid and funny review. 

[genealogyfan]

Thanks for the review. I agree with you about those who are vaping and are so self centered they think the rules don't apply to them. Luckily on our last cruise, we only saw a couple people in non smoking areas. As soon as they saw us, they walked away quickly (otherwise I would have reported them). I think if enough people report them to the crew, hopefully the crew will enforce the non smoking policy except designated areas more.

 

[sansroof]

Your writing is delightful! And your critiques all seem thoughtful and fair. I will probably try out the Prima some day and your review helps know what I’d be getting into. 

[Lupush]

You've pretty much nailed my thoughts on Prima as well.  Overall I really disliked the ship and still feel disappointed in my experience.

[mugtech]

Thank you for all the warnings, cannot imagine booking Prima for any itinerary.

[seemoreroyals]

Thank you for taking the time to break it down for those of us that have not been on the Prima yet.  We will be sailing Prima later this year and appreciate the fair and balanced viewpoint you have put forward.   

[Sand and Seas]

@UKstages, thanks for sharing with us!   Very good detail and well-balanced review.

 

We spent 11 days on the Prima in a Club Balcony very close to the one you had problems with!  I guess we lucked out as we had much more gentle seas on our cruise (Galveston to Miami).

 

I was hoping that they had found some work arounds for some of those same issues you noted.  Loved the Indulge Food Hall, but it was somewhat of a game to find a table to sit at.   We felt sorry for the poor over-worked bartenders at the Penrose bar.  I wondered why they didn't use the Belvedere bar for the casino drinks?  It seemed under-utilized.

 

Still, we had a fun cruise and will sail the Prima again on another Caribbean cruise (with hopefully gentle seas!).   

[UKstages]

3 hours ago, UKstages said:

but it does make it seem like contestants' row is populated by serial killers... "lee harvey oswald, come on down, you're the next contestant on the price is right!"

 

 i meant, of course, to say "assassins," not serial killers. 

 

i regret the error!

[BermudaBound2014]

Thank you for sharing both your thoughts on the prima and your very talented writing style. 
 

My Score of this Review- A+ 🙂 

[Travelgrrl]

Looking forward to reading the entire review, but just had to say that "prima facie case" in the title (in a pun, no less!) made me weak in the knees. I love smart people!

[insidecabin]

Thanks very interesting enjoyable read.

 

We have been pondering a Prima trip while it is close to the UK, the premium pricing could not be justified with the flaws,  prices are dropping nicely so it gets more tempting

 

You have confirmed our indecision, its not working as well as it should for the money they are asking.

 

Just rechecked UK and they had dropped the Prima 25 June to £340 but not a lot left if any.
Looking for a flight to see it would work if cabins.

Had been looking at the Dawn as there are cheap flight and similar pricing..

 

 

[ChiefMateJRK]

Is there a Cliff's notes version of this?  I have ADD.

[BrianLo]

9 hours ago, UKstages said:

i never got to try the commodore room, as it was “closed for a private function” throughout the entirety of the second cruise. i had prebooked reservations for this restaurant and wasn’t informed until i showed up at the venue. apparently, they closed the room for a group of only 125 who were onboard. this, in my opinion, put a strain on other dining venues throughout the cruise. (that same group, by the way, dined in all the other venues and was quite rowdy… applauding and whistling and whooping and hollering inappropriately during shows in the prima theater. at one point, they were scolded from the stage by performers and security had to be brought in to quiet them down.)

 

FYI this group seemingly rented out the Improv Club most nights. I have a feeling that's a large  reason the comedians disappeared on the second voyage.

[Greener123]

Excellently written review, seemed very fair and honest. 
 

I would consider Prima but only on a warm weather sailing, I can’t understand why they thought a ship which puts so much significance into its outside space was a good ship to use on cold weather trips. 

[insidecabin]

19 minutes ago, Greener123 said:

Excellently written review, seemed very fair and honest. 
 

I would consider Prima but only on a warm weather sailing, I can’t understand why they thought a ship which puts so much significance into its outside space was a good ship to use on cold weather trips. 

I think NCL tried to do something different in the north,  Iceland itinerary got very popular==better revenue  across a few cruise lines.

 

Prima open jaw Iceland<->Southampton are not logistic friendly, especially for the brits

Star is doing some open jaw Iceland<->Tromso  

Dawn not as bad as Copenhagen is well connected.

Its been fun trying to package a late deal.

[UKstages]

3 hours ago, BrianLo said:

 

FYI this group seemingly rented out the Improv Club most nights. I have a feeling that's a large  reason the comedians disappeared on the second voyage.

i was unaware that this group was given the improv for their nocturnal escapades.

 

being that comedians are no longer scheduled to perform in the improv, i’m pretty sure that this would have had no impact on the decision.

[fstuff1]

13 hours ago, UKstages said:

casino

 there’s no way of knowing what the payback is in this casino, but let’s just say those rich little piggies are now on public assistance.

my best guess is that payback is probably close to 75%, which is an abysmal return.

i played slots and VP and had a very bad run at VP, including 3-line and 5-line ultimate X at the 25 cent denomination, so this was an incredibly expensive vacation!

 

(VP paytables are surprisingly decent, by the way. there is no “full pay” VP, but 9/5 jacks is widely available and that’s better than what you will find in some land-based casinos and far better than what you’ll find on many cruise ships.)

 

my cruises are “free” from casinos at sea. i pay port fees, taxes and gratuities. based on my action and loss this trip, i’m pretty damn sure the offers will continue. (i’ve come home a winner before from some cruises. on others, i’ve lost money. this was one of those other cruises!)

 

my overall score for the casino: B

drink service: B

the likelihood of winning any money: F.

 

Major slot manufactures have a minimum payback of 85% on their machines unless it's one of those weird $1M super progressives like MegaBucks that you find in Vegas.

 

the manufacturer of rich little piggies is a major manufacturer.

still, 85% return sucks $ like  vacuum.

 

the best vp on ncl is 9/6 ddb, which is 99% return but variance is double that of your JoB.

That 9/6 ddb was on the Prima when i sailed her last Oct.

 

You ran into bad variance during cruise. 😞

i made 4 figures profit when i sailed her but one 1 small handpay. Earned 7k points. 
I had good variance.

 

Sorry the Gambling Gods weren't nicer to you. 

[fstuff1]

13 hours ago, UKstages said:

would i try the viva?

 sure. it will be interesting to see what corrective measures they take fixing some of the known problems.

but i think we’re likely not to see real design improvements until the prima class ship after that. 

viva is a clone of prima.

i'm on 11day viva this nov on her 2nd cruise. (yeah 'free' casino cruises!)

 

the 3rd prima class ship will have changes based on feedback on prima.

they also delayed the 3rd ship by a year.

it was reported here on cc that it'll be slightly bigger. hopefully that means more public space and not more cabins (thus reducing the space per person in public areas because more people)

[fstuff1]

13 hours ago, UKstages said:

cruise next

 

i have never used cruise next certificates and see no value in using them. 😲

all my base fares are covered by the casino and i make good use of $250 = $500 cruise first certificates for ancillary expenses. so, my dealings with cruise next mostly involves deleting seven or eight broadcast voicemails from them on my stateroom phone, throwing away six or seven flyers delivered to the stateroom, and avoiding their gaze at cocktail parties and when traveling about the ship. but i do have to check in with them for booking of behind-the-scenes tours and wines around the world. after the first cruise, i became sapphire, so there was also the matter of booking “dinner with the officers.”

 

i received my very first latitudes pin… what are these for exactly? i did actually see somebody wearing one, but i can’t for the life of me understand why. because i had never received one before, the CN rep gave me both a platinum and a sapphire. um, thanks. i think.

 

i was able to book wines, BTS and the dinner with officers. i went on the BTS tour for the first time and found it interesting. i didn’t attend “wines around the world” on the first cruise because i hadn’t had any sleep (see my other post) and on the second cruise, i forgot completely about it. it would be lovely if this appeared in your app’s daily schedule as a booked item, but it doesn’t. and the dinner with officers? i never received a letter informing me of the day, time and location. now if you’ve read my other post about this cruise, you may remember that on the first cruise i received several misdirected messages… one of them was for somebody’s dinner with officers. perhaps my invitation went astray. perhaps the information wasn’t entered properly or my invitation went to my old stateroom. not a major mishap, but, i would have had a lot to say to officers! of course, i did notice on that letter i received for somebody else that the “officers” were a manager of something or other and a cruise next rep… not exactly my idea of a fun or worthwhile evening.

 

my score for cruise next: C-

cruisenext is more flexible than cruise first.

 

now there's casino next (or maybe it's called  'cas next').

trade in 5k points (worth $50) for  $250 cas next certificate.

can only be used on casino cruises and only good for 1 year.

better value than cn for me.

 

yeah, i hated those voicemail reminders that i havent bought any yet.