Spreading Ashes

[azsummer2003]

:o Hello all. I'm AzSummer and I'm fairly new to these boards.

Our 17 year old son died suddenly and unexpectedly last year. :( This is our first cruise. My husband and daughter will be traveling with me on the 7 day Western Caribbean Cruise on the RCI Navigator of the Seas, we leave December 23rd 2006.

My question is, are we allowed to spread his ashes off the balcony? (We are on level 6 deck, balcony room.) He was a huge fan of SKA and we think he'd love it if we spread a few of his ashes either off the balcony or on the shore. This was a trip we had talked about while he was still alive.

Do I need to ask permission? I don't want anyone to think we are littering! Thank you.:o

[IvesGrandmama]

Welcome

 

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. What you must have been through.

 

Talk with the travel agent or call RCCL directly and ask for special permission. I do't see what the proble would be. You could do i while docked in one of the islands.

 

Will be praying for you.

[Sugar67]

I am so sorry Azsummer for the loss of your son, my heart breaks for you. I dont know the answer for your ship but I know I read on these boards that they contacted Carnival and the Captain did a special service for them at no cost.

 

I hope that this is possible for you and your family, it sounds very touching.

 

Cathy

[BobBeaSea]

Azsummer, I am so very sorry for your loss. As far as spreading some of your son's ashes, it might not be a bad idea to talk to RCI. If the ship is underway and you throw them from your balcony chances are good that none of them will hit the water. The very rear of the ship, I'm thinking deck 10, might be good. I can't remember if deck 5 (promenade) gets you to the extreme aft of the ship where you look down at the water. If so, this deck might be best.

 

Whatever you do, have a great cruise.....

[LHT28]

Sorry for your loss!

I know this was discussed before someplace here ...try a search for Burial at sea.

 

You could also try this idea for a memorial

http://www.eternalreefs.com/

http://www.lifegem.com/

[Capt_BJ]

Please ask someone and do not simply choose to try and 'sneak' this.

 

a) while underway the wind currents around the ship, including off the stern will - WILL - blow the ashes in ways you & others may not like. I say this based on the experience of performing MANY such ceremonies from the deck of my ships. It can be a surpise to see this material go up and/or back into the group..... We would normally stop the ship to do this with the respect it deserved. (Our process also provided for the Captain presenting a copy of the ship's log entry documenting the event, and a chart with the location marked.)

 

b) dumping ANYTHING off the side of the ship is prohibited and is typically mentioned in the general rules. Dropping 'trash', {especially plastic trash or oil} can result in fines on the ship for environmental issues. Human ash falls into certain categories for which there are rules (the rules generally say how far the ship must be from land to dump certain types of stuff....while others are strictly prohibited). Pass' dropping ANYTHING off the side is proscribed for simple reasons....see the recent Princess fire....they usually don't end up in the water, even if they are not proscribed.

 

If the ship is willing, they have a way to do it. If the ship doesn't have a way there are ways to get a legal scattering at sea.....

[tango55]

I'm so sorry for your loss! We lost my brother a couple of years ago and while he'd only been on one cruise, he loved it so much. When we cruised last year we brought his ashes and waited til we were in port and did our own private little ceremony on a beach he loved. I'm sure it was illegal, but we did it anyway. I know my brother enjoyed it!

 

Terry

[kitty9]

Condonlences on your loss. Unfortunately, it's not legal to drop anything off a cruise ship, plus, with the winds blowing, most of the ashes will blow right back on board, onto balconies---hardly a place I think you'd want your son's final resting place. Also be aware that if you're caught dropping ashes along a beach area, there are very stiff fines for that. If you do it privately, off the ship, then it should be fine, but avoid any public places.

[vmom]

If you just drop his ashes from your balcony while the ship is in motion the ashes will in all likelihood end up being blown onto someone else's balcony from the wind, which is probably not your intention. I would definately talk to the cruise line rather than trying this from the balcony.

[fosse7]

Not that I'm talking from experience, but if you go to the stern of the ship on the lowest deck that you can, and you check the wind with something light first(think bread crumbs), you'll probably do all right.

 

;)

[fosse7]

P.S.

 

Carry only what you intend to free in a plastic (non-metal) container. Obviously- the container must not be tossed as well.

[MrsPete]

What a nice way to commemorate your son's life.

 

I sort of remember years ago when one of the Beach Boys died, someone on the radio was talking about how they had to get special permission to have a burial at sea for him. I don't know if they were actually burying his body at sea, or whether they were spreading his ashes.

 

Regardless, I think it'd be wise to speak to the cruise line ahead of time. I bet they can give you information on this topic. If you can't do it from the ship (I'm thinking of how far it is from the deck to the water), you could consider renting a small boat on an island. Plus you'd have the benefit of more privacy.

[azsummer2003]

Thanks all who answered my question. We are not going to spread all of his ashes! He's going to be spread a little here, a little there (all over the world) but mostly kept with us. :o We even have some of his ashes at a memorial site in Scottsdale. :)

This may sound crass, but we are only going to fill a very small vile full and spread his ashes from our fingers as we walk the beach in Jamaica. (Maybe a tablespoon or 2 full?) I doubt anyone will even notice. :rolleyes: We already spread some of his ashes off the deck of our boat at Pleasant Lake in Phoenix, Arizona (see here for pictures - http://taylorburgstahler.memory-of.com/tributes)

 

We have his ashes spread in several places already. I didn't mean to give the impression that we wanted a full blown ceremony, but thank you for the ideas. It's nice to know this is sucha compassionate community.:D

 

Maybe we willsee some of you at the meet and mingle on the Navigator of the Seas 12.13.06 cruise. Thank you all again!:D

[Crusin Karen]

I am very sorry for your loss. I, too, wish to be buried at sea. This is a poem that you might want to take with you:

"In our blood, in our sweat, in our tears, we are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail it or watch it, we are going back from whence we came."

This was said when JFK, Jr's ashes were buried at sea. I had a very dear friend who died at a very young age a few years ago from Lupus. She loved to cruise. Every time we go to an island, I bring back a film container of sand and go to the cemetary and sprinkle the sand on her grave. I think your son would be very happy for you and proud that you are remembering him in this way.

[WELSH WIZARDS]

Thanks all who answered my question. We are not going to spread all of his ashes! He's going to be spread a little here, a little there (all over the world) but mostly kept with us. :o Dear azsummer and partner, My heart goes out to you. I too lost my son almost two years ago this Christmas. The death of a child is what most parents fear the most. Please don't be embarrassed about keeping your son with you. We were fortunate enough to know that our son's wish was to be buried in the garden of the house we all built together ,and that is just where he is. I don't care what anyone else thinks. I am sure your son would want to be with you also, and also that somewhere he is voyageing in foriegn shores. Day by day....Jennie.

[tomc]

First, my most sincere sympathy on this devastating loss.

 

I was asked to take a 35mm film container of ashes to Alaska with me; the deceased had always wanted to go there and his widow asked me if I would bring them with me. I said it would be an honor.

 

When I arrived in Ketchikan, I found a little flowery spot on a steep hill, where nobody could walk. I discreetly sprinkled the ashes there and washed out the container, leaving all of them in Alaska. Then I took a photograph of the spot, noted the time and location for the woman, said a prayer for the soul of her husbad.

 

In Ketchikan, it rains all the time; as soon as I finished, the sky opened up a bit and his ashes became one with Alaska.

[cruisinbuddy]

This is what I want DW do for me. Take some of my ashes on a Caribbean cruise and place them in a kleenex, and toss me over board in that. This way I know i'll hit the h2o and the kleenex will disolve quickly. I don't want to floating around so a fish can come up & swallow me thinking that I'm food and I end up being fish poop.:D Now here's something I did do. I started this thread in the Cruise Rituals section, right now it's on page 3 top.

Titled " What was the one thing that you'll never forget.

 

Mine was, my 13 y/o neice had luekemia and was granted a wish from the wish foundation. It was a Disney cuise. It had to be cancelled because the luekemia came out of remission. So the year after the funeral I was on the Disney Magic getting ready for formal night. Looking mighty spiffy I might add. So I put my hand in my pocket and find one of those oragami cranes, paper bird. There's a whole other story there. So what I did was throw the crane overboard so she could sail the caribbean forever. I'll never forget that.