Scared to FOD?

[Volunton]

I have been on two Carnival cruises (when I was 'str8') :).

 

I was also on the Caribbean Princess in February 2005 with my mother. My partner didn't want to/couldn't go at the time.

 

I attended the FOD on the 2nd day and ended up meeting about ten other FODs. We hung out a bit, but the vast majority of them were a 'group' and had their own 'interests'.

 

My partner and I will be on the Norwegian Jewel on March 4. So far only one other couple have indicated they'll be onboard. I guess I'll be looking at the photos of the pax embarking on the ship on March 4.

 

Why, you ask?

 

Well, without sounding stereotypical myself, my 'limited' gaydar does perk up when I see two males travelling together who have their arms around each other or who are standing 'ohsoclose' to each other for the photo.

 

Admittedly, we probably won't have our arms around each other (our own comfort level) for the photo. But I would think any other passengers who care, would notice we're not hanging out with our female significant others, but rather with each other.

 

When I was on the Caribbean Princess two years ago, I met a male couple from PA in their mid-late 20s. I never really saw them anywhere else on the ship during my entire seven days, but my spider senses told me they may be more than just good friends. :)

 

As for the FOD, given the fact the photos of pax embarking seemed to show more than the ten people I met who may meet the category of FODs, I'm guessing some cruisers either don't know what an FOD is, or choose not to attend such an event - for reasons as varied as they aren't on a cruise to meet other gay people or they don't want to be seen as 'gay' while they're on the ship, or simply choose to keep to themselves.

 

Any thoughts on any of the above?

[MattInFLL]

Well, believe it or not, there are some who have no idea what friends of dorothy means... and there are those who really pay no attention to their cruise schedule to even notice it. I think that, more than anything, is why.

 

I have been on a couple of ships that held more than one, and at the later one people came in and said "I wish I saw there was one early in the week".

 

NCl is very gay friendly, and they are usually willing to hold more than one. I always call the cruise director's office the first day to find out if it is planned, and if not, to ask for one. As far as I know, unlike RCI, NCL is still willing to hold them.

 

Otherwise, relying on gaydar, and checking out those embarkation photos are a good start :)

[Sox Fan Cruiser]

At first I was offended that the cruise lines were using such an archaic term as FOD but after 5 cruises I got over it. We never went to them even so and just met other gays & lesbians around the ship. Princess has an adult only pool at the back of their grand class ships so that's where a lot of us hung out anyway.

 

We just went on the Caribbean Princess in December and they actually called it an LGBT meeting! They had free champagne and it was quite nice. We met two more times officially throughout the week. We met a lot of folks and because friends. We even "took over" the dance floor one night and turned the club into a gay disco, dancing until 4 in the morning. (SO not my usually cruise habit!!!)

 

Even with all that there were a number of folks that didn't attend the meetings but we saw them around. One group was very obviously a bunch of gay boys so it wasn't a shy thing. They were a group and I guess they didn't need the LGBT meet and greet.

 

I think I counted 40-50 of us on the ship that week which is the most I have ever seen.

[tnt-augusta]

NCl is very gay friendly, and they are usually willing to hold more than one. I always call the cruise director's office the first day to find out if it is planned, and if not, to ask for one. As far as I know, unlike RCI, NCL is still willing to hold them.

 

So does Royal Caribbean not do FoD events?

[MattInFLL]

Apparently RCI has instituted a policy where they will not hold any special group events such as FOD's... because if they have to do it for us, then they have to do it for anyone who asks. And have started to have a "bulletin board" where someone can post to have a gathering... but I guess this bulletin board on some ships has been some place where no one would ever look.

 

Frankly, even if there was never a FOD meeting, I think I still would have met other LGBT people on board... I guess without the meeting it forces you to be more "forward"...but I always find myself more willing to chat in the environment of a cruise ship anyway..

[ryndam]

Crystal Cruises has always attracted a diverse, well-traveled and friendly group of passengers and an exceptionally accommodating staff. On our Crystal Serenity cruise last December, there was a very prominent listing in the day's "Reflections" for a FOD gathering. It was held on the 3rd night of our 10-day cruise at 7:15pm, a good time since it was in between the main and second sitting dinner sittings and was held in the ship's disco. We were extremely surprised and delighted that it was hosted by the assistant cruise director (who was onboard with his BF) with an open bar and trays and trays of fantastic snacks. Many of the ship's entertainers were there, as well as several ship's officers and proabaly about 15-20 passengers. Overall, a group of about 40-50 people+/-. The cruise director thanked all of us for choosing Crystal, and was very clear about the line's commitment to make sure that everyone was having a great time and felt comfortable onboard. The best surprise was when several FOD catering staff members emerged from the pantry with a huge surprise wedding cake to present to two of the ship's (male) dancers that had gotten legally married in England, just before the ship left Southampton on it's previous cruise before returning to the US. The comraderie among the staff was very obvious and emotional. And even on the Crystal Serenity, the disco morphed into a defacto-gay bar after midnight, especially on karaoke nights!

[Nobbi]

We just went on the Caribbean Princess in December and they actually called it an LGBT meeting! .....

 

 

That's great to hear. Before getting on CC, I would not have known what an FOD meeting was (even though i would understand Friends of Dorothy). Perhaps Princess has learned to be normal and just call it LGBT after all their RSVP charters. That way most will know where to meet. After all it's 2007, and there's no need for silly secret codes.

 

Thumbs up to Princess!

[SeaTeacher]

I think Princess is the best about holding meetings for gay/lesbian folks. On our last cruise, 10 days long, the ship had 7 official FOD meetings (though they were called LGBT Rainbow meetings most of the time).

 

In our 6 cruises on two lines, we have found a variety of gay gatherings. Sometimes we have found we had very little in common with other gay cruisers that we met, and other times (especially the last cruise) we have really bonded with some of the other gay folks we met - even planning to meet again in a non-cruise setting.

 

Frankly, the same applies to other straight couples we've met on cruises. Some you get along with, and others...not so much.

 

But I have to say, I've learned to enjoy the having a wide variety of social opportunities available - including "FOD" meetings. It's good to meet new people with which I have some unique things in common.

 

Don't be afraid. LGBT/FOD meetings run the gamut from ok to fantastic. My gaydar doesn't always work either. So a GLBT meet-up helps augment my limited skills. Enjoy them for what they are if that's is one thing in which you choose to participate.

[JkEw]

That's great to hear. Before getting on CC, I would not have known what an FOD meeting was (even though i would understand Friends of Dorothy). Perhaps Princess has learned to be normal and just call it LGBT after all their RSVP charters. That way most will know where to meet. After all it's 2007, and there's no need for silly secret codes.

 

Thumbs up to Princess!

 

I couldn't agree with you more!

 

As a openly gay 35 yr old I had no clue what a FOD meeting was until I started reading these boards, personally would also prefer LGBT :)

[Buddy604]

I couldn't agree with you more!

 

As a openly gay 35 yr old I had no clue what a FOD meeting was until I started reading these boards, personally would also prefer LGBT :)

FOD always sounded abit "closety" to me, and old fashioned, though of course there is the story of Lorna Luft showing up at one and asking if a "Daughter of Dorothy" was welcome. :)

 

My problem with LGBT is that it's always sounded like a sandwich to me.:D

[HLR]

Hey Volunton!

 

I was on the Jewel in September and the Spirit in November. On both ships they had an FOD meeting EVERY EVENING! On this board I only met one couple prior to the Jewel Cruise...and no one prior to the Spirit cruise. On the Jewel we ended up with about 24 people...each day another couple appeared!

 

HLR

[Volunton]

HLR, it's funny that, as you said, there aren't many other gay men/couples/lesbians asking/talking about March 4 on the Jewel. You obviously LIKED the ship/the people? :)

 

When I was on the Caribbean Princess in Feb. 2005, I hung out with a bunch of the crew. I even got e-mail addresses for two guys ... :D but lost touch when my old e-mail address went kapooey. :mad:

 

*****What did you think of the 'atmosphere' regarding other passengers (which is quite fluid depending on the cruise) and especially the crew, who are there from week to week???

 

And what'd you think of the ship/food/spa/gym, etc. ;)

 

Thanks!

 

Hey Volunton!

 

I was on the Jewel in September and the Spirit in November. On both ships they had an FOD meeting EVERY EVENING! On this board I only met one couple prior to the Jewel Cruise...and no one prior to the Spirit cruise. On the Jewel we ended up with about 24 people...each day another couple appeared!

 

HLR

[Volunton]

HLR, it's funny that, as you said, there aren't many other gay men/couples/lesbians asking/talking about March 4 on the Jewel. You obviously LIKED the ship/the people? :)

 

When I was on the Caribbean Princess in Feb. 2005, I hung out with a bunch of the crew. I even got e-mail addresses for two guys ... :D but lost touch when my old e-mail address went kapooey. :mad:

 

*****What did you think of the 'atmosphere' regarding other passengers (which is quite fluid depending on the cruise) and especially the crew, who are there from week to week???

 

And what'd you think of the ship/food/spa/gym, etc. Yes, I'm basically asking for a 'review'. <HEE HEE>

 

Thanks!

 

P.S. I'm glad I started this thread... :)

Hey Volunton!

 

I was on the Jewel in September and the Spirit in November. On both ships they had an FOD meeting EVERY EVENING! On this board I only met one couple prior to the Jewel Cruise...and no one prior to the Spirit cruise. On the Jewel we ended up with about 24 people...each day another couple appeared!

 

HLR

[CatgirlNC]

Hi....I'm a 34-yr-old bi female (ok, this is starting to sound like a personal ad...LOL). I just sailed on Carnival Miracle in January with a group of family members (family as in, my parents, brother, etc...not "family"), but I did not bring a partner or date of any kind. I had every intention of checking out FOD meetings, were any to be held. And two were, I believe it was the first night and last or second-to-last night. Since I was traveling semi-solo in a group of couples, I was looking forward to meeting new people and possibly making friends to hang out with on the cruise.

 

But when the time came, I ended up not going. My shyness took over, and I was afraid I wouldn't fit it. I know there were other gay men on the cruise but I don't know for sure if there were any females. I was also afraid it might be awkward if I went to the meeting spot and had to go up to someone and say "Are you a Friend of Dorothy?" and be really embarrassed if they weren't. Now I'm sorry I didn't go, I might have met some fun people.

 

I did have some rainbow / pro-gay pins on my backpack and travel pouch, so I was kind of hoping people would see these and start up a conversation or something, but this never happened. I guess next time around I'll have to me more proactive if I want to socialize.

[tazmanaf]

Hello everyone! Well, seems like my partner and I are like alot of others on here. On our first cruise, we saw FOD meetings but had no idea what they were. That and it would have been tough since my parents were cruising with us. On our next cruise, I knew what FOD was and we went and checked out the 2 meetings that were held. Ehh, it was ok I guess.

 

I'm hoping now that since we're sailing on Princess for our next cruise, it'll turn out better. This upcoming cruise is going to be our 10th anniversary cruise!! :) :) :D

 

John and Anthony

[HLR]

Hi All!

 

Yeah...some of the FOD meetings are "eh"...but as the cruise goes on, especially if it is 10 days or so...some comraderie does develope! Of course everyone booked the cruise on their own and has their agenda and plans...

 

I liked the Jewel very much. Some classy areas....the shows better than most...Theatre is really state of the art...food was very good. The Asian restaurant is excellent and I think the main dining room fair is just as good as the "pay" venues. Didn't care for Le Bistro...that was the only time I feel we got "weird" service.

 

I had no trouble with anyone regarding being open and as I said there were FOD meetings every night.

 

The gym is very good....and there is a locker room and small steam room inside it, that is different from the spa which you need to pay for. The spa is REALLY nice....I just didn't feel a need to pay extra for it.

 

What else?

 

HLR

[SanDiegoCruisers]

Up until now, I had really not given it much thought that I had never attended a FOD meeting. I've sailed numerous times and each time, took notice of when the meetings were taking place, but never really had any interest.

 

My lack of interest really wasn't out of fear, but just plain lack of interest. I think it's great that there is an outlet where people with similar interests can meet; however, I've always had a very mixed group of friends (both at home and at Sea) and sometimes feel that there is too much emphasis on having to "find" the other LGBT passengers.

 

Over the course of the cruise, I inevitably meet other LGBT passengers and am happy to introduce myself and say hello. If, during the cruise, the opportunity occurs where we meet up for a drink or sit next to each other at a show, great. However, I'm really go through a cruise - just like my life - conversing and talking with everyone.

 

The irony, sometimes, is that I have felt a bit of discrimination from the very people who had been attending FOD meetings who percieve my lack of participation either rude, defiant, or possibly a sign I'm not comfortable with who I am.

 

In summary, I think the meetings are great for those who want to attend them. However, remember that those like myself who may not attend are not trying to make any more a statement than I'm sure those who are.

 

"Dirty Martini, extra dirty please." :-)

[Rok4u2]

While I was on the QE2, there were FOD meetings at 5:30 pm about every third day in the Yacht Club, behind the bar. The bartender was gay as was the waiter assigned at the time. Good location and a great turn out. On Carnival, they once held a meeting at 5:30 pm in a bar that was NOT open. Oh, the room was open but the bar was closed. NO ONE showed up, but me. This was on the Miracle. The next Carnival cruise I took, on the Fantasy, the FOD meeting was at the Atrium Bar, across from the Purser's desk at 8:30 PM, while ALL the second seating people were at dinner. SO, while Carnival DOES list the FOD meetings in the Cappers they do make in inconvient for people to attend. Havn't been on NCL in five years so I don't know what they do.

[maui34]

I also have been to several FOD meeting over the last couple years and found that there are others that get too clingy, and want to do all activities with you. Some even are like your shadows, wanting to eat at every meal with you and sit during shows. My lover and I take a cruise to spend quality time with each other and to relax. Some people just don't get that even when you say something. Don't get me wrong as I love to socialize, have a drink and meet others. I am not at all a snob but everyone needs their own airspace.

[JetsetTX]

Apparently RCI has instituted a policy where they will not hold any special group events such as FOD's... because if they have to do it for us, then they have to do it for anyone who asks. And have started to have a "bulletin board" where someone can post to have a gathering... but I guess this bulletin board on some ships has been some place where no one would ever look.

 

Frankly, even if there was never a FOD meeting, I think I still would have met other LGBT people on board... I guess without the meeting it forces you to be more "forward"...but I always find myself more willing to chat in the environment of a cruise ship anyway..

Hi Matt:

 

That makes no sense to me considering Royal Carribean holds friends of Bill W. (didn't know what it was 'til I asked the CD, it's AA) meetings, at least they did last January on Grandeur of the Seas. If they hold the Friends of Bill W. there logic would imply they should hold FOD meetings or anything anyone requests.

Ed

[derf5585]

who are standing 'ohsoclose' to each other for the photo.

 

On my next to last NCL cruise in our CruiseCritic group was a gay couple. I watched the photog as they were taking their formal photos. The photog placed them back to back half turned forward. Very nice. The photog are very accommodating

[sjbdtz]

Hey Volunton!

 

I was on the Jewel in September and the Spirit in November. On both ships they had an FOD meeting EVERY EVENING! On this board I only met one couple prior to the Jewel Cruise...and no one prior to the Spirit cruise. On the Jewel we ended up with about 24 people...each day another couple appeared!

 

HLR

 

Hey HLR! Nice to see you around!

 

Stephen

[garykool81]

That makes no sense to me considering Royal Carribean holds friends of Bill W. (didn't know what it was 'til I asked the CD, it's AA) meetings, at least they did last January on Grandeur of the Seas. If they hold the Friends of Bill W. there logic would imply they should hold FOD meetings or anything anyone requests.

 

While I don't agree with the Royal Caribbean policy, I'm not sure you want to compare the meetings of special interest groups to those of recovering addicts, which set up as a quite important support structure to keep them from slipping back down into their past.

 

:-)

[Blazerboy]

The irony, sometimes, is that I have felt a bit of discrimination from the very people who had been attending FOD meetings who percieve my lack of participation either rude, defiant, or possibly a sign I'm not comfortable with who I am.

 

In summary, I think the meetings are great for those who want to attend them. However, remember that those like myself who may not attend are not trying to make any more a statement than I'm sure those who are.

 

Oh, brother, have I experienced this! One person actually came up and, in all seriousness, said "What, aren't we good enough for you?" This, because, at the first FOD, I stopped by, but was meeting others for drinks at the other end of the room, so just said some hellos and moved on. The gentleman approached me two days later because they had a second FOD, and I didn't show up.:rolleyes:

 

Glad the event is there, but don't always assume lack of participation indicates anything other than either bad timing of the meeting, or a busy schedule.

 

Andrew

[sketcherb]

Our Thoughts...

 

My Partner and I have been on 6 cruises in the past 3 years, each of which has been on various cruiselines and various age groups. We are in our 30's and have NEVER had any issues with being a Gay Couple!

 

We have always embraced for every photo the way any other couple would...

We have always met for all "Friends of Dorothy" meetings, as we have met some awesome friends - forever now cruise companions...

and

We have never run into any anti-gay or unfriendly fellow cruisers at Dinner, the Disco or on Deck!

 

From a total "Redneck" cruise out of Galveston on Superbowl Weekend... to

the "Geritol" cruise Maasdam, average age 68 and up!! ( and we found several other gay couples/singles here too!)....... There has never been an issue. I'm sure whispers were said and some were not amused when we danced the night away on stage in our best dressed tux's...for the Gala...

 

but I say this....

 

"Pride" was never meant to be over the top - rather to show that we fit in like any other person and celebrate....

So ALWAYS take the opportunity to BE and ACT like anyone else....

 

We will Always and Forever Embrace in our Ship Photo's.....just to prove we are no different..... and in hope that one day, it will blend in like everyone else on the rack........