Scared to FOD?

[BigGayBert]

Apparently RCI has instituted a policy where they will not hold any special group events such as FOD's... because if they have to do it for us, then they have to do it for anyone who asks. And have started to have a "bulletin board" where someone can post to have a gathering... but I guess this bulletin board on some ships has been some place where no one would ever look.

 

Frankly, even if there was never a FOD meeting, I think I still would have met other LGBT people on board... I guess without the meeting it forces you to be more "forward"...but I always find myself more willing to chat in the environment of a cruise ship anyway..

 

We were on the Explorer earlier this month and they held FOD meetings everyday. There was a card on their bulletin board, which was laminated and was obviously permanent (as were the cards for the FOBW meetings and the "Red Hat Society" meetings). And the bulletin board was directly across from the purser's desk. You couldn't miss it. In fact, I saw several people walk right into it! ;)

[paddy Anne]

Our Thoughts...

 

My Partner and I have been on 6 cruises in the past 3 years, each of which has been on various cruiselines and various age groups. We are in our 30's and have NEVER had any issues with being a Gay Couple!

 

We have always embraced for every photo the way any other couple would...

We have always met for all "Friends of Dorothy" meetings, as we have met some awesome friends - forever now cruise companions...

and

We have never run into any anti-gay or unfriendly fellow cruisers at Dinner, the Disco or on Deck!

 

From a total "Redneck" cruise out of Galveston on Superbowl Weekend... to

the "Geritol" cruise Maasdam, average age 68 and up!! ( and we found several other gay couples/singles here too!)....... There has never been an issue. I'm sure whispers were said and some were not amused when we danced the night away on stage in our best dressed tux's...for the Gala...

 

but I say this....

 

"Pride" was never meant to be over the top - rather to show that we fit in like any other person and celebrate....

So ALWAYS take the opportunity to BE and ACT like anyone else....

 

We will Always and Forever Embrace in our Ship Photo's.....just to prove we are no different..... and in hope that one day, it will blend in like everyone else on the rack........

Wow I don't think I could have said that any better. It has been my exact experience and my exact response. And since I am in Toronto this week "HAPPY PRIDE".

cheers,

PA

[Schplinky]

I really have mixed feelings about the FOD meetings (and their name) but I'm glad that folks seem to gravitate toward them. We've had them scheduled on RCL and Celebrity. We "sort of" had one on HAL but they scheduled it for while we were at dinner so we weren't able to attend. I guess the presumption was that all gays are fabulous and dine late but we don't. I actually like the bulletin board on RCL because you choose the time and place. On Celebrity, they put the FOD in the busiest bar onboard between dinner seatings and you had no idea who was there for the meeting and who was there for the liquor and who was there for both. I know some people feel that folks won't look at the bulletin board but those are likely the same people who never read their cruise daily.

 

We've had ok FOD experiences once or twice but a couple that were less so. We had one fellow who whenever we saw them the whole rest of the week would say to us "WE" are all sitting over here and we would have to choose between offending him or sitting with a bore who whined and complained the whole time. We've met other people who were perfectly delightful. We bumped into one really nice lesbian couple on one cruise and asked if they were coming and they said "no, we don't attend meetings with secret code names." Point taken.

 

I like to meet other gay people when we travel but the gay community is just as (if not more) diverse as the hetero population so there's no presumption we would all get along or even want to come to our own party. I think some folks don't come to the FOD because they're travelling with friends they don't want to leave behind, they might be closeted, they may not like meeting strangers, they dislike the whole code word aspect, they're tired that night, they'd rather attend another event that's happening at the same time, etc, etc, etc.

 

Like another poster in this thread, we do notice the couples in the photo gallery pictures. It seems a small sub-set that come to the FOD meetings.

[DoctorFeelgood]

My SO and I have been together for over 10 years. I'm late 30's, he's early 40's. Our gaydar is pretty well honed. (HONED not HORNED!) We know that there are other gay couples and singles on every cruise we take, but we have only been to one FOD.

 

I think there are many reasons. First, we usually sail Celebrity, and it may just be an accident that the FODs are scheduled at a time when we have other priorities. It's a poor excuse, I know.

 

Second is a question of "outness." I don't know how to classify myself, in that my personality is straight acting (whatever that means), but I'm out in the sense that I acknowledge my SO and my orientation to those who ask. I have to admit that I get a bit uncomfortable around guys who are WAYYY OUT, the ones who could derogatorily be called "flaming." I haven't thought deeply about this, but it may be due to a deep insecurity about my sexuality or due to a sense that sexuality is a private, not a public, thing.

 

Then there is a bias on my part that I am not a "typical" gay guy. I feel very inadequate when it comes to being gay. I have not so great fashion sense, I don't have a perfect body (though it aint bad), I don't spend a lot on clothing, cosmetics, or decor. I don't read the right magazines, or keep current on pop culture. It never really mattered a lot to me (except in the context of feeling accepted by other gays).

 

After my first, and only FOD, I also felt pressured by those we met to be "more social" and would have felt pursued except for the fact that our idea of excursions is more along the lines of 10 mile hikes up a mountain. Then, when we got back from this sort of thing, we felt like we got the cold shoulder.

 

 

Tell you what, next cruise (August), I'll go to an FOD and try to find out why I haven't in the past.

[Blazerboy]

Your tag line made me chuckle!:D

 

I think your post is honest, open, and I hope no one 'attacks' you for it.

 

There's no 'standard' that says you have to behave a certain way, just stereotypes. But once I realized I didn't have to be a stereotype, those who might more fit any particular description (Bears, Leather Daddies, Gym Bunnies, Drag Queens, whatever) became individuals, not an opressive cultural standard to live up to. :) And I relaxed my own behavior a bit....if any of me does fit a stereotype, I'm not concerned about.

 

On cruises, I try to find folks who accept me as I am, and expect the same....therefore I end up with a mixed group of friends. If some gay men on a cruise only want to hang out with other gay men, then we probably won't spend a lot of time together, because I like to meet lots of different folks, but I also try not to exclude folks, either. Big tent! We've thrown cocktail parties on ships, and invited a whole mix of people, and let folks stand on their own...amazing how the dowager with the imperious glare got along so well with the big ol' queen, or how the Republican guy from Arizona got to like the Seattle Gay rights activist. SOme times it just takes a willingness to let things happen!

 

(But hey, if you want to meet your brethren, just move to the suburbs near me! EEK!:eek: Some of them have pot lucks, wear flannel, and have a TOTAL lack of ability to throw a dinner party, or decorate a house...and you know what, they're really great guys...:D I accept their fashion-challenged ways, and they accept my over-the-top Virgo candlelight suppers...;) )

 

It's all good.

 

Andrew

[canlobef]

Good point andrew, me and my so just got back from the Baltics aboard Century and we had an awesome time, its our 8 year anniversary gift to each other. There were actually regular FOD meetings at least 5 times throughout the entire cruise, however, there were hardly any bros/sis who attended, quite a shame.. but it didn't stop us from socializing around the ship. We met a Belgian couple whom we promised to keep in touch with, since we're planning to visit Belgium in a couple of years. There were also several bros. that we would acknowledge/greet, talk briefly throughout the entire cruise. Its okay i guess if you don't necessarily connect with any of our brethren, there's still a lot of folks out there who are more than willing to exchange in an interesting conversation, be your good table mates and great excursion companions. There's so much out there when you travel with a very positive outlook. Hey, we all invested time and money for this..right? Angel:cool:

[aaerobear]

Andrew, you are the Bay Area's own Hyacinth Buck-et (or is that bouquet)

 

I hope Hubble isn't Sheridan

 

Ed

[Blazerboy]

...Well Hubble DOES have this dog friend, a terrier named Tarquin....:eek:

 

 

;) Andrew

[kcliff01]

DH and I have been on a number of cruises and other than the FOD gatherings we never meet any other couples. Weird.

 

The FOD gatherings we attended on Princess had no passengers! Just crew and dancers.

 

We will be on the Silver Shadow in just under a month. With such a small ship it will be interesting to see if there are any other gay couples. I think the ship only holds 385 passengers.

[billylen]

Tell you what, next cruise (August), I'll go to an FOD and try to find out why I haven't in the past.

 

As I read your post I could completely relate. I have cruised many times as a single and now I am in a relationship (one in 40's the other in his 20's) and I think it might be cool to hang out with others even if only at an FOD meeting. Like one of the previous posters said, the cruise is to get away and spend real quality time with one another. I think this is true for many couples regardless of orientation.

 

Look folks I am not a model, not even close, but I'm one hell of a guy and so is my partner. We are not sterotypical (whatever the heck that means), but we both share that universal desire to connect with others in a shared experience (darn that sounded a little too new age for my taste.) So I think I too will actively seek out an FOD meeting on our cruise in August and see what's up.

 

I can tell I have some aprehension about this because I hesistated to even post this note here!

 

If interested I will post my experiences when I return...

 

It will be a first