HELP, cruise dilemma

[Orcrone]

My brother asked me if I want to go on a cruise with him this fall and my wife told me to go ahead (yes, she meant it). Well we just found out that my mom and stepfather are going on a cruise in December so my brother said he'd like to join them. They're 76 and 80 respectively, and he feels there won't be alot more opportunities. So what's the problem?

 

• 1. It's on Carnival, which is not my first choice of cruise lines (nor my brother's).
   
  2. It's going to three ports that I've already been to, and really don't care to go to again.
   
  3. It's a 7 day cruise and I was hoping to go on a longer cruise.
   
  4. My wife loves the idea of going on a family vacation, so I know she'll feel left out.

My brother doesn't work and travels often. So going on a cruise that's not his first choice is no big deal to him. On the other hand I don't vacation much and don't really want to go with a cruise that I'm not that anxious for.

 

I'm going to speak to my mom and ask her if she'll consider switching to a different cruise. But if we go with them, whether on this cruise or a different one I know my wife will feel left out. She could also go, our kids will be 20 and 18 at the time. But then my brother will be the odd man out.

 

What should I do?

[sail7seas]

"Odd Man Out"??? He's your brother. They're your parents. Seeing as you are sensitive to the fact he is single and you and your parents are a couple, you and your wife will surely see to it he's always a part of everything that he wishes to be. This is his Family!!!

 

Your observation that none of us know how many more chances we have to be with our family as parents age is true.

 

Grab the chance and treasure the memories you will make.

 

You'll be happy you did, I think.

[jtl513]

My vote is that you all go on whatever cruise your mom and stepdad prefer, getting a suite that will comfortably fit 3 people, and a normal double. Which three room together can be worked out later. :) Stay on board and relax at the ports you don't care to see again.

[Gardyloo2]

You'd need to find out if your mom and stepdad would be amenable to changing cruise lines. To do that, you'd need to anticipate why they chose the cruise they did. At their age, I'd think Carnival would be the last line they'd want to be on. If they're dead set against changing, you have some decisions to make.

 

A family vacation would be wonderful, you could present it as such, and offer to coordinate everything yourself. Ask all the main travelers seperately which ports would be their favorites, and choose some options based on those desires. If you offer to make the arrangements, it may take the load off your mom and stepdad, and it'd give you more influence.

 

If they haven't cruised HAL, and are uncomfortable about changing lines, you could mention the beds and accessability. My parents prefer Princess, so that may be a better option than Carnival.

 

As far as the odd man out, could your brother share a room, say a suite, with your mom and stepdad? How about in a cabin with your kids?

[Scrumpy]

If it were me, I'd probably give it a shot. If you want to spend time with your parents and cannot steer them to another line that is more palatable to you (if they've made deposits, have financial concerns or simply like Carnival the best), take advantage of that time together. My dental hygienist went on a multi-generation Carnival cruise and in spite of whatever negative stereotypes are perpetuated by some, they had a wonderful time and no trouble at all with their fellow passengers or the facilities onboard. We're talking about a group aged from 70+ to young children and they all loved it. I've also looked at their rates and think the nicest cabins on the ship are comparable in space to some of the better cabins on HAL. Amenities are (probably) better on HAL, but costs are also higher. It's a trade-off. You may also have the option of doing a back-to-back of sorts with one cruise on HAL. That'd give you a two-week holiday and you could also directly compare lines and see if Carnival might get any future business or if you will avoid it at all costs. Is this cruise over a holiday or when some students may still be in school - or fresh out of school and hopefully too soon for them to jump on a ship? That might color my decision, but I'd probably still go.

 

The situation with your wife is another matter. Her presence doesn't automatically mean that your brother will be excluded. If you're looking for a family-oriented trip, you might consider having your children come with you. You and your wife (and/or your parents) may find things to do together while the ship is in port or you may send the young folks (and whoever else wants to go) off to do stuff and take advantage of time alone with your wife on a near-empty ship. A little romance might be nice.

 

This is only my opinion, but I try to spend as much time with my older relatives as possible. In my case, they are not nearby and I've felt guilty for not being around a lot during their golden years. You may get plenty of time with them and that may be a factor in your decision. If they're right down the street, then it may not have nearly the significance to you to share a cruise.

 

Good luck!

[Orcrone]

Thanks everyone. Bringing the kids is probably not an option as they're in school. We've all been on HAL before and all enjoyed it quite a bit. Going 3 to a cabin is a definite possiblity.

 

Why are my mom and stepfather on CCL? They live in a retirement community in Florida. The men's club is running a group cruise. They got a good price ($759/pp) for a balcony. In addition they got a $50/pp shipboard credit and free transportation to Miami, about an hour away. Why the men's club picked CCL is anyone's guess. They've never sailed with CCL before anda are definitely not set on CCL.

[mamaofami]

The people sitting at the next table to us were a family. There was the older mom and her two children and one of the children's spouses. Looked to me like they all had a good time together.

[Stafford4]

Are you absolutley sure your parents want you along? If the arrangements were made by thier retirement villiage man's club maybe they want to go with their friends. Maybe you and your brother just assume they would like you to come along. I would find this out first then if they really would like to cruise with you then like some of the post said before see what everyone wants to see ...or do and go from there. Maybe have your parents/brother do a 7 day cruise and you and your wife do a back to back that is 14 days. If you really want to be a nice son let your parents go on thier cruise with the Men Club and you and your brother plan a crusie in the Spring 2008 (maybe kick in for your parents if they have limited income or some of it) This would give you more time to save the money and more time to plan....maybe by then your brother will have a friend to share a room with or you could get the 3 to a room deal that will work out cheaper for all those sharing the room. PJ

[jtl513]

Thanks everyone. Bringing the kids is probably not an option as they're in school. We've all been on HAL before and all enjoyed it quite a bit. Going 3 to a cabin is a definite possiblity.

 

Why are my mom and stepfather on CCL? They live in a retirement community in Florida. The men's club is running a group cruise. They got a good price ($759/pp) for a balcony. In addition they got a $50/pp shipboard credit and free transportation to Miami, about an hour away. Why the men's club picked CCL is anyone's guess. They've never sailed with CCL before anda are definitely not set on CCL.

Sounds to me like you, wife, and brother should share a large suite and enjoy the company if not the ship or itinerary as much. :)

[nobbync]

Nobody can tell you what you should do. I can tell you what I would do and that is to sail with your mom and stepfather. You never know how long you have left and to get together as a family would be nice. It may be the first of many more but it could also be your last chance to all get together.

 

Hopefully you will be able to find some way to get everyone together for this cruise and you might want to look at a few more options and show them to your mom and stepfather. Maybe they will see another cruise they'd love to take with all of you but do the homework for them and bring your best salesman smile! :D In the end if they are set on the cruise they booked then enjoy the time you have with your family.

 

I am in a similar situation as you with my wife. I am going to Hawaii with my mom on a 15 day cruise in October. My wife couldn't do it so I wasn't going to do it either. My wife sat down and told me she doesn't feel left out. She said it's a good chance for me to spend time with my mom and to enjoy it while I have the chance to do so. If it was the other way around she would also go knowing that I would want her to go which is true. I know I will make it up to her though when she can finally get away.

 

I know too many people that regret not doing things with their parents while they can. You have the chance and who cares if it's not the best itinerary. It's a cruise and it's with loved ones. If you could somehow arrange for your brother, wife and kids to all go it could be a trip of a lifetime even if it's not your favorite place to see. You'll have plenty more times to cruise or vacation to places you want to see. Go for it while you have the chance.

 

Nobby

[peaches from georgia]

LOL. I absolutely agree with Stafford4. Your parents planned this cruise with their friends! Since they obviously must like cruising, this may be a good time to suggest and plan a family cruise, but I wouldn't want my kids not only coming along on a cruise I had booked with a group of friends, but even worse changing the cruiseline and itinerary. :)

[Orcrone]

Are you absolutley sure your parents want you along? If the arrangements were made by thier retirement villiage man's club maybe they want to go with their friends. Maybe you and your brother just assume they would like you to come along.

:eek: :eek: We're the joy of her life.:rolleyes: Ok, I am, but my brother can come along for the ride.;)

 

Actually I live in Virginia, my brother lives in NYC and my mom lives in Florida so we only see each other a couple of times a year. I understand what you're saying, but she really prefers, and looks forward to having her family together. The group she'll be travelling with is primarily a group of acquaintances.

[Orcrone]

LOL. I absolutely agree with Stafford4. Your parents planned this cruise with their friends! Since they obviously must like cruising, this may be a good time to suggest and plan a family cruise, but I wouldn't want my kids not only coming along on a cruise I had booked with a group of friends, but even worse changing the cruiseline and itinerary. :)

Peaches,

 

I asked my mom when she booked this why she chose Carnival. She's never cruised with them before. It was because it was cheap and included transportation. It had absolutely nothing to do with Carnival or the ports.:D

[saltydog28]

Orcrone, I agree with what everyone said. Sit down and talk with your mom and find out what her ideas are and how she came up with Carnival. Talk to her about your ideas. Discuss the pros and cons of each cruiseline.

And if it is Carnival...well ..it's 7 days. And 7 days out of a lifetime could mean alot to your brother and mother and stepdad.

 

Take care,

Pat.

[Susie51]

IMHO Let your parents go on the cruise with their friends and you visit them at another time when the whole family can go.

 

Go on the cruise with your brother to a destination you both would like to visit. A brother's cruise is a special family time also.

 

Since your brother has more travel opportunities, maybe he can do both, if your parents want him there. Possibly, they want some romantic vacation time without family members around. Just a thought.

 

You know the complete situation in your family. It is nice to have so much input from fellow cc friends to help you decide. This is an interesting thread.

[Orcrone]

I called my mom and spoke to my stepfather. I just said I have some questions about their cruise and asked him to have my mom called when she can. She just called back and without telling her why I was calling she said "son? I don't have any children!!!"

 

Just kidding. Before I asked about going she said we'd love to have you go along. So I think I'm going to forget about my first choice and join them.

[babyher]

I called my mom and spoke to my stepfather. I just said I have some questions about their cruise and asked him to have my mom called when she can. She just called back and without telling her why I was calling she said "son? I don't have any children!!!"

 

Just kidding. Before I asked about going she said we'd love to have you go along. So I think I'm going to forget about my first choice and join them.

 

 

 

Good for you :) :)

 

Go and have a good time and enjoy

 

I hope you and your parents have a hundered more cruises together in the future, but you know what? There are no guaruntees. Enjoy them while you have them and you are all able to cruise.

 

I lost my dad when I was 21 years old, so I never got to have a "grown up" relationship with him. He was just getting ready to retire and I was finally out of school. We were gonna go to Vegas together and one of his fishing excursions and just hang out with "my old man" as he would say . and it never happened.

 

God did bless me in that I still have my mom and she is in great health and I take every opportunity to enjoy her company.

 

Trust me Carnival is not the floating Sodom and Gommorah everyone loves to paint it to be. You will have a great time.

 

Long after who sleeps where and in what cabin is long forgotten, The memories of enjoying being with your folks will still be in your heart.

 

Enjoy:)

[sail7seas]

Orcrone.......

 

:) Happy it is working out for you and your family to have a wonderful family vacation. Enjoy it to the max and make some great memories.

 

[Orcrone]

Thanks for the good wishes. I've been on Carnival and have an idea what to expect. Last time we went during spring break, so I'm expecting a bit older and less crowded ship in early December. I just prefer the less crowded feel of HAL.

 

My mom's checking on cabin availability and I'll probably book it today or tomorrow. DH says she loved to do a family vacation. She'll miss me (first vacation apart) but I should go and have a good time.

[newmexicoNita]

My brother asked me if I want to go on a cruise with him this fall and my wife told me to go ahead (yes, she meant it). Well we just found out that my mom and stepfather are going on a cruise in December so my brother said he'd like to join them. They're 76 and 80 respectively, and he feels there won't be alot more opportunities. So what's the problem?

 

• 1. It's on Carnival, which is not my first choice of cruise lines (nor my brother's).
   
  2. It's going to three ports that I've already been to, and really don't care to go to again.
   
  3. It's a 7 day cruise and I was hoping to go on a longer cruise.
   
  4. My wife loves the idea of going on a family vacation, so I know she'll feel left out.

My brother doesn't work and travels often. So going on a cruise that's not his first choice is no big deal to him. On the other hand I don't vacation much and don't really want to go with a cruise that I'm not that anxious for.

 

I'm going to speak to my mom and ask her if she'll consider switching to a different cruise. But if we go with them, whether on this cruise or a different one I know my wife will feel left out. She could also go, our kids will be 20 and 18 at the time. But then my brother will be the odd man out.

 

What should I do?

I haven't read others comments so may be saying about the same but here goes: your brother is right, mom and dad will not be traveling that much longer, I don't mean at all, but as the years go by even a fun vacation takes a lot out of some people; go with them, have a ball and remember even if this isn't the ship, line or itinerary you would choose (I agree with you) you will still have a wonderful time. NMNita

[steveww48]

I want to echo some of the "Carnival isn't so bad..." comments that others have made. In fact, I want to flip that around: my one experience on Carnival was an extremely favorable one.

 

Two years ago my wife and I sailed on the Carnival Legend (8 nights). We are in our 50's and are absolutely not party types (quite the opposite :) ). We had a terrific time on the Legend! The food and entertainment were very, very good and the service was excellent. The decor was somewhat glitzier than we'd prefer (HAL is much more refined) but that was not at all a big deal. We did not see a significant amount of crazy party behavior-- nothing much different from other cruises we've taken on most of the mass-market cruise lines.

 

I'm familiar with Carnival's reputation. Perhaps that has mellowed over the years and/or perhaps there is a big difference from one Carnival ship to another.

 

I hope you are able to go on this cruise and enjoy the time with your family. I'm sure that if you take the trip you will not regret doing so.

[Orcrone]

I'm not so much worried about the party atmosphere. In fact, I probably prefer a few more activities than I had on my HAL cruises. I just found that HAL had more elbow room, and it was much easier getting a deck chair on HAL. Of course my only Carnival cruise was during spring break, so this one may wind up being totally different. That one had many families, 3 and 4 to a cabin, which made it more crowded than your average cruise. We also did the Zuiderdam during spring break, and it seemed to be not nearly as packed.

[babyher]

Orcrone,

 

I think you will have a great time.

 

I see that you were on the Inspiration and that is one of the older smaller ships. They tend to draw more of party crowd. Plus your last time was during spring break and any ship gets like that at that time.

 

Especially if you are going on one of the newer and larger ships, you will be fine

 

ENJOY:)

[Susie51]

I'm happy for your family. I hope there is availibility for you and your brother.

 

Have a wonderful time!

[tinkerbell1951]

My brother asked me if I want to go on a cruise with him this fall and my wife told me to go ahead (yes, she meant it). Well we just found out that my mom and stepfather are going on a cruise in December so my brother said he'd like to join them. They're 76 and 80 respectively, and he feels there won't be alot more opportunities. So what's the problem?

• 1. It's on Carnival, which is not my first choice of cruise lines (nor my brother's).
   
  2. It's going to three ports that I've already been to, and really don't care to go to again.
   
  3. It's a 7 day cruise and I was hoping to go on a longer cruise.
   
  4. My wife loves the idea of going on a family vacation, so I know she'll feel left out.

My brother doesn't work and travels often. So going on a cruise that's not his first choice is no big deal to him. On the other hand I don't vacation much and don't really want to go with a cruise that I'm not that anxious for.

 

I'm going to speak to my mom and ask her if she'll consider switching to a different cruise. But if we go with them, whether on this cruise or a different one I know my wife will feel left out. She could also go, our kids will be 20 and 18 at the time. But then my brother will be the odd man out.

 

What should I do?

 

Carnival for 76 & 80 ??!!?? :eek: :eek: :eek: ... switch to HAL or Celebrity.