Why a set curfew for teens?

[crusinmama06]

Care to say where in Penn State country?

 

Close enough to Penn State University Park to get there in under 30 minutes.;)

[Dolby1000]

Dolby1000 gets out his well used soapbox and climbs aboard.

 

At first, I thought your question was a compeling one. Your posts sound reasonable and are well presented. You do present yourself as a smart, well parented teen who will become a fine adult.

 

But, then, you see, I read between the lines. Without trying to sound unkind, your research into the topic seemed, well, lacking.

 

Even though you personally may not have experienced a curfew, a simple google search would have revealed them to be rather commonplace and discussed the reasons for such. Lack of experiencing something does not excuse lack of knowledge, especially in today's world where the internet always has answers to nearly everything at your fingertips. Heck, a simple search of the posts on this site alone would have revealed several reasons why curfews are necessary.

 

As you go to college and learn more about human behavoir, you will learn that when people gather together in groups, they tend to make less rational decisions. This is particularly true of children and teens. ASo, although individually, you might not pull down breakfast menu's from cabin doors, a group of people (more likely teenagers) might think it is funny. Again, use google and you will find a lot of research on "pack mentality".

 

More research would have revealed many legal reasons for having a curfew, reasons put in placed to protect the cruise line from lawsuits that would result from a teenager being hurt or abused because the curfew was not in place. Lawsuits cost money, and the reality of the situation is the RCCL is in it for the profit. Having a curfew ensures higher profits due to fewer lawsuits or even judegements (which are worse than the lawsuit). Yes, I said the evil word, profit. But, you will learn soon enough, it is profit that makes the world go around. We can debate later on the ethical merits of such a statement, but I believe it to be true. I did not say that I believe it to be "good". Again, we can debate later.

 

In short, RCCL has curfew rules in place to protect their profits. They have many other such rules in place too, and many more, I think, are far less fair than having a curfew.

 

So, again, I had to ask myself, for such a well presentated young man, why such a obvious question? Ah, now I see what you really want is for RCCL to make independent curfew decisions for all their younger passengers. I am good, why should I pay for those who aren't?

 

Frankly, that isn't realistic, is it? How would a cruise line know who is good and who isn't, and under what guidelines would they use? Any such program would be expensive and add costs and expenses to the cruise. Frankly, I am not willing to pay them.

 

So, either you are naive to the ways of the world, or you were trying to state your opinions and drive an arguement for them. Not knowing you very well, I cannot speak for the first place, but, in the second place, your opinion does not sway me as your position is not well thought out. And, yes, when I was in my teens I had a curfew too and I did not like it either. But, like you, I did obey it because I saw, deep down, that it was in my best interests to do so.

 

Finally, for such a well mannered young man, I suggest you submit yourself to a couple doses of reality as you march to adulthood (again, I am not saying whether these truths are good or bad, I am just saying that they are there):

 

There rules out there that are, on the surface, rather unfair. These rules were put into existence to protect ourselves from the minority of people who lack the common sense to get along well with others. It is life and you will need to learn to deal with it as these rules also do not care if you fall into the category or not. Also, RCCL does not have to "explain" their rules, either you follow them or find another cruise line. Period. If you don't like it, well then, I see your point, but to ask for reasons and such, when answers are rather obvious and findable, does come across more like whining than asking.

 

There are rules that assume "everyone is guilty", curfews are such examples. Wait to you have to undergo drug testing and background checks to get a job. Then you will truly understand all are guilty rather than innocent until proven guilty now has a solid lock in our society.

 

So, action time, what action should you take? Learn more about group behavoir. Think about why there is a curfew and think beyond your current boundaries. Learn about the world you are about to enter. If you don't like it, then learrn how to change it. Become a polical activist, learn how to get your voice heard. Take the time in college to learn how to do research and how to present an idea. Be opened minded, it is okay to disagree with others, but learn how to present your arguements without belittling the ideas of others (there are many examples of this on these boards, both good and bad - oh, I am NOT saying you did that, just advising you what to avoid). And be ready to change your views as you learn from others.

 

Finally, beware of using arguements that fall beyond your point. Just because some adults drink too much, or act stupidly, these actions have no relevance on a teenage curfew. Keep your arguements to the point.

 

Dolby1000 steps down now.

 

Finally, enjoy your cruise!

[rsscaptain]

What is so hard to understand about supervision? Until you are 18 years of age, someone is responsible for you. Likely parents, but there are several other avenues as well. Guardians, foster parents, the state, the program that you are enrolled in on a ship...

 

If the ships curfew is for 1:00 then you have to be in your cabin,...OR with your parents, or guardian.

 

Why parents, (if that's who we are really talking to here) would think that their children should be roaming around unattended is crazy! I wouldn't let my dog roam around without me, never mind my kids!

 

We can't live in a bubble but do some of you have cable? Do you get the news? It's not just your perfect little darlings that we question, it's the sickos out there, and yes on ships too!

 

Wow! My head spins over this stuff!

[sleepless]

"I have never seen a town or a city with a curfew. "

 

The town I grew up in McKeesport, PA (some time ago) blew the fire whistle at 10:00 pm every night as the curfew.

 

 

I know where McKeesport, PA is. I grew up just outside on Homestead, within the city limits of Pittsburgh.

[linda_22003]

Close enough to Penn State University Park to get there in under 30 minutes.;)

 

I grew up in State College. :)

[sleepless]

Just looking for some personal experiences here, anyone with a 17 y.o., what time do you set there curfew for if there not on a cruise, if there just hanging out in the town they live in, and what time do you set there curfew for on any cruise?

 

 

When my children were 17, they did have a curfew imposed by me and their father. Just to hang out at a friends house? School nights at about 9:00 p.m. Weekends, about 11:00p.m. If they were going somewhere special, they had to be home by 12:00 midnight. That was state imposed. All drivers under the age of 18 had to be off of the streets by midnight.

 

My teens would not have been out wondering around the ship alone at 10:00 at night, let alone 1:00 in the morning.

[RoofingPrincess]

Just looking for some personal experiences here, anyone with a 17 y.o., what time do you set there curfew for if there not on a cruise, if there just hanging out in the town they live in, and what time do you set there curfew for on any cruise?

 

When my son was 17 (5 yrs ago), his curfew was 11 pm. Midnight if I was feeling particularly generous.

Haven't taken a cruise with him since he was 9.

[vickiw0318]

I grew up with a curfew (Nashville) and live a city now with curfews for teens. I applaud them - it was there to keep me safe when I was younger and it was there to keep my children safe. I enforced it too. My daughter was really mad at me for not letting her go out early one morning to a big sister/little sister type "kidnap" function that was earlier than the expiration of the overnight curfew (or she was until some of her friends were picked up by the police for violating it). Guess what I have the hardest time understanding is the parents who tell their kids not to worry about such a law because it's stupid. But, there are a lot of things I can't imagine like someone who said that he/she could understand a 1:00 am curfew for kids under 14. I can't imagine letting someone that young stay out until 1:00 a.m.

 

I know most teens make a lot of good choices. However, even the good ones can be fooled. My 19 year old son was brought home this REALLY NICE GUY (my son's emphasis) that he'd been hanging out with at Starbucks for several evenings. One of his friends took the guy home one night too. Imagine David and Matt's surprise when both family phone bills arrived and the REALLY NICE GUY had racked up $100's in 900 number charges to you-know-what kind of sites. Okay, this scenario won't occur on a cruise ship, but people who aren't what they seem to be can be cruising. One of my good friends took her "well behaved" 15 year old grandchild cruising and let him out with the nice crowd he met onboard. She didn't find out until a few months later that the great appeal of the nice crowd was possession of a "high quality" controlled substance. They weren't how they seemed and (to her great dismay), neither was her grandchild.

 

Okay, I am off my soapbox.

[max227]

If you don't like the RULES..........Don't go on the cruise.

[Robb]

OK, I just have to post here. I will not voice an opinion now, but will give the readers a 'flash from the past'. I grew up in a rather small rural community, population about 5000, during the mid 1950 to mid 1960s. Each night at ten o'clock a very loud siren sounded. It could be heard all over town. If you were under 18 you had to be off the streets or be accompanied by an adult. The curfew never bothered me since I had to be home and in bed by nine anyway. That is the way it worked and one did not question it. There was very little misbehaving. If you were out after curfew the police would pick you up and take you home to your parents. No need to try to hide your identity in the small town. The authorities knew who you were, who your parents were and where you lived.

 

I guess you can figure out my stand on this even though..............no matter.

[dc-snoopy]

"I have never seen a town or a city with a curfew. "

 

The town I grew up in McKeesport, PA (some time ago) blew the fire whistle at 10:00 pm every night as the curfew.

 

Ah...that's because you grew up in McKeesport where the kids are bad. I grew up in Monroeville and we were much better. Our curfew was 11:00 PM. :)

 

Back on-topic, I have to say that the rules are put into place to try to give some structure to the vacation so that problems and mishaps do not occur. Although I agree that there are a lot of good teens out there, there are a significant number that either are not good, or are sufficiently immature as to require restraints. Curfews are put in place to both protect other passengers and to protect the teens themselves. Teens are just at the point of maturation where they often exhibit good judgment and also just as often do not. More mature teens will have much more good than bad judgment and less mature teens will have much more bad than good judgment. Unfortunately, cruise ship crew and staff cannot know each customer individually to know where in the spectrum that you are. Also, even if you are one of the better ones, coming up on a situation you are unfamiliar with, may cause you to exhibit poor judgment. Unfortunately, when teens are out of adult supervision (and although at 18, some are clearly young adults, many are definitely not adult) and worse, in groups, peer pressure or just being in the group can erode that judgment and even the best of teens can get into trouble. Curfews are designed to limit the amount of trouble that may happen. Yes, it means that many good kids will be bound by restrictions that they don't need, but the number of teen/kid related incidents has decreased considerably since the curfew has been in place.

 

When I was on my first cruise, they did not enforce the curfew at the start of the cruise, but after 2 days of significant mayhem on-board, the CD announced during the day that starting day 3, the curfew would be in place. They had security patrol at the curfew time to get all underage passengers into cabins. The number of incidents dropped significantly starting on day 3. Yes, there were probably dozens or more of good kids that hadn't caused problems that were being restricted, but unfortunately, in this society, people who abuse the system can and frequently do lose rights for themselves and others. As you mature, you will find that sometimes life isn't fair. I've watched that type of thing happen many times in my adult life and been the loser many times due to someone else's negligence. That is an unfortunate part of being an adult, you have to learn to live with that. No matter how fair your parents tried to make your life, once you get older and move out into the real world, you'll realize that life is not always fair. The idea that it is, is a Disney-esque or Hollywood concept.

 

Yes--18 is an arbitrary number. They could have just as easily chosen 16 or 21. But the problem is that the majority are 12-15 year olds and many in the 16-18 category are immature for their age (or act it while on vacation). The arbitrary age of 18 seems to have a more significant effect than most other ages. It's arbitrary but has been successful for the cruise industry at significantly curbing problems.

 

Although it is a completely different topic to teen curfews, you mentioned drunk adults. Drunk adults have caused other adults the same types of problems. Due to the significance of drunk adults, being able to bring alcoholic beverages on-board for drinking in cabins (whether brought from home or carried on from the duty-free stores) has been curtailed as well. When that was allowed, there were far more incidents from drunk adults. And they, like the chaotic teens, curtailed the rights of the majority of behaving passengers. It's just a fact of life that you will have to learn to live with. Life isn't always fair.

[Fran Harp]

Its funny though, because as paying customers, we have a curfew of 1am. I think that is a bit ridiculous. I go to bed at home on some nights at 1am!! Its vacation, we should be free to do what we want. I will be turning 18 at the end of November but will be in college in New York City, living on campus. If I go on a cruise before my birthday, I think its pretty pathetic that they would make a college student go to bed at 1am. Just think about that!!!! I'm not trying to start anything, I just think that it is so unbelievably unfair!!!

 

I was just on the Explorer for nine nights as a graduation present from high school. Every night at 1 (sometimes even earlier), I would get yelled at by the security guards telling me to go back to my cabin. Sometimes they would come in packs and surround me when all I was doing was enjoying some pizza in the cafe promenade or laying out on a deck chair talking quietly with other teens.

 

I know there will always be the close-minded people that think all teens are grouped into one category... the teens that push all of the buttons, scream, get drunk, and play knock and run. Thats not all of us!! Give us a chance!! It really is VERY frustrating!!

 

Wow, thanks for letting me vent.

 

Well, I agree and disagree. Simply because it's your vacation doesn't mean you should be able to do *whatever* you want. I know of some adults who use that argument too, usually to cover their own bad behaviour. BUT the curfew is in place because too many parents won't, or don't think they need to, take responsibility. I know lots of really good teens; I also know there are plenty who aren't, and whose parents think it is the responsibility of the cruise line to discipline. My personal opinion, as a parent and grandparent, is that it's both the cruise line and the families. I read a story recently, on these boards, I believe - of a whole family put off the ship, and if I recall it was precisely because the kids were being rude and disruptive and the parents weren't doing anything.

 

Perhaps it would be a good question to ask - why do some teens behave so badly that it affects all who are not misbehaving?

 

FRan in Toronto

[Stoodo]

Perhaps it would be a good question to ask - why do some teens behave so badly that it affects all who are not misbehaving?

 

FRan in Toronto

 

 

I ask the same thing of people in general every time I see a sobriety check point. I don't drink but yet I have to be inconvenienced because people drive drunk.

[MaryZ]

Simple solution...call room service if the darlings are hungry at 1:30 AM.

Whatever has happened to common sense?

 

It's really not about being hungry :rolleyes: It's about going down to the promenade and sitting with friends chatting. The promenade is this whole experience in itself and rccl advertises it as such. Since not all 17 yr olds are in bed sleeping at 1am, I'd prefer mine be sitting there rather than in someone's elses cabin. Which it seems to me rccl is promoting with a 1am curfew. Get them off the decks and whatever goes on inside cabins, goes on.

 

Just looking for some personal experiences here, anyone with a 17 y.o., what time do you set there curfew for if there not on a cruise, if there just hanging out in the town they live in, and what time do you set there curfew for on any cruise?

 

It depends on what they are doing. Midnight bowling and swimming goes on to 2am. Movies and something to eat afterwards is usually around 12:30.

Visiting friends they usually were home by midnight on weekends and 10 pm on weeknights during school. Since my sons played sports during school, they usually were home asleep by 10pm. My daughter is more of a night owl.

On the cruise, my sons get up at about 5am to run and then go work out. They've done this since they were 14/15. Since they play sports and enjoy working out they both are usually back in their cabin by midnight or so. The last night of the cruise they tend to stay up late.

My daughter pretty much has no choice but to go with her brothers. If they are going back to the cabin at 1am, they bring her back with them. It's a little different for us, since her brothers tend to watch her as they are older.

So I never have to worry about her. With one brother 7 yrs older and the other one 3 yrs older, it's like having her own security force ;)

 

 

But, there are a lot of things I can't imagine like someone who said that he/she could understand a 1:00 am curfew for kids under 14. I can't imagine letting someone that young stay out until 1:00 a.m.

 

Actually I meant that the curfew is good for the tween age kids. For whatever reason kids in that age group seem always to be the ones who push the envelope. They are the ones roaming in packs, screaming, throwing things off the decks etc. As teens mature 17+ they mostly don't act out like that.

And no, at the age of 14 my kids were not out at 1am unless they were with us. Usually by midnight they were in bed since there are basically no activities for them that late at night. But overall having done every cruise but two in 20 yrs of cruising on major school holidays I really have to say the majority of kids on cruises are good.

yes, I've seen some out of control kids, but I've seen plenty of out of control adults too.

Honestly if I were designing a cruise ship, I would have a spacious area for kids that had game tables (ping-pong, air hockey etc) with their own pizza/sandwich place that offered trivia games, music etc for sea nights till 2am. This way they could have teen counselors there and the kids would be doing constructive fun.

I remember when my kids were younger they had midnight swimming for them.

My boys always loved that. I haven't noticed that on my last few cruises.

Sometimes I think that tho the cruise lines promote so heavily that they are family oriented, once your kid turns 13 the cruise lines seem to not have as much offered to keep them interested in doing fun activities.

I always worried that they would fall into doing mischief just as I worry about that at home. So we expect certain behavior from our children at home and on vacation. So far they haven't let us down :) So I can be more lenient about curfews since we have this trust thing that goes both ways. I trust them to do the right thing and they trust us to believe that they will.

I think in the end, it comes down to parenting and how you handle mistakes your child makes. We all make mistakes, but the important thing is to learn from them.

And quite honestly I have no hesitation about removing priviledges for behavior I find unacceptable. I'll give my kids the world, but they need to uphold a standard of behavior that they are expected to have. So although they are what others would consider extremely spoiled, they are also extremely respectful and walk away when other kids are doing the wrong thing.

They like having new cars, credit cards, cell phones, travelling with friends, going to college all paid for by us. It isn't worth it to them for us to be disappointed in them. Just as I would never want my children disappointed in my behavior. Children learn by example. If you don't give a crap what your kids are doing you are going to have kids who do crap ;)

[Lady Chew]

MaryZ said: Honestly if I were designing a cruise ship, I would have a spacious area for kids that had game tables (ping-pong, air hockey etc) with their own pizza/sandwich place that offered trivia games, music etc for sea nights till 2am. This way they could have teen counselors there and the kids would be doing constructive fun.

 

That would be great ... but I would add an area just couches & floor cushions where they could just hang out and talk with their friends. At all hours ... maybe they would need to have permission from parents, or sign in with their Seapass, but they really do need their own space, and most of them certainly deserve it!! I know that any time my two sons have spent an entire day with hubby & me, no matter how much fun we've had, they want to stay up and on their own afterwards.

[alcheme]

I would add an area just couches & floor cushions where they could just hang out and talk with their friends. At all hours ... maybe they would need to have permission from parents, or sign in with their Seapass, but they really do need their own space, and most of them certainly deserve it!! I know that any time my two sons have spent an entire day with hubby & me, no matter how much fun we've had, they want to stay up and on their own afterwards.

 

Yeah, that's what they need . . . a place where the teenagers can hang out unsupervised to all hours of the night. :eek:

 

Are you serious about that? I really think that having well-supervised activities for the minors onboard is what the cruise lines are really after. I'm not saying the youth area you describe sounds bad, but does it really need to be "at all hours"? Having activities for the kids and teens until 1 am seems pretty reasonable to me. I can't imagine wanting my child to be out unsupervised at that time of night, and I certainly wouldn't expect RC to provide a supervised teen area staffed 24/7.

[kevink]

I think there's a practical reason that's being missed here. The night-time cleaning crew needs to vacuum the elevators, and it's difficult to do that with the little b******s sitting on the floor.

 

---

 

Kevin

[alcheme]

I think there's a practical reason that's being missed here. The night-time cleaning crew needs to vacuum the elevators, and it's difficult to do that with the little b******s sitting on the floor.

 

---

 

Kevin

 

lol

 

I'm sure the little beauties wouldn't mind moving briefly for the cleaning crew. ;)

[sheilauk]

On the P&O ships that we cruised on when our two sons were teenagers, they did indeed have a teen area, with its own club, bar and deck facilities, which was staffed by youth crew who basically stayed until the last teen went back to their cabin. It was also the youth crew who would patrol the ship late at night to round up any teens who were misbehaving anf dit worked well for two reasons. One the kids listen to the Youth crew as they know them and have the respect for them and secondly the youth crew know most of the kids on board and can and will report misbehaviour, often with the culprits name and cabin number.

 

On all the cruise s that we did as a family on P&O with the boys from the age of 12 until the age of 20, we were never aware of any bad behaviour from the children on board, who usually numbered 600-700.

 

In that respect I think P&O could teach some of the other cruise lines a trick or two.

[iheartbda]

Yeah, that's what they need . . . a place where the teenagers can hang out unsupervised to all hours of the night. :eek:

 

Are you serious about that? I really think that having well-supervised activities for the minors onboard is what the cruise lines are really after. I'm not saying the youth area you describe sounds bad, but does it really need to be "at all hours"? Having activities for the kids and teens until 1 am seems pretty reasonable to me. I can't imagine wanting my child to be out unsupervised at that time of night, and I certainly wouldn't expect RC to provide a supervised teen area staffed 24/7.

 

But wouldn't it be fun for the adults to go and invade these places?;)

[TMarie]

You are sounding a bit whiney and childish here. In a couple of years, this "rebel without a cause" phase will be over and you will be able to see clearly.

 

I will be turning 23 in a few weeks, and I can tell you that I thought I knew EVERYTHING when I was a teen! I thought I was an adult and felt that I was grown up to make my own decisions. And then, I turned 18, and I made alot of not so smart decisions. Now, I dont even want to be called an adult. I refer to myself as one of the "kids". Dont rush growing up too fast or you miss the best 5 years of your life!

 

Turning 18 does not automatically make you an adult. And being 17 and in college does not mean that you are "close enough". So you can be trusted to live on your own in a dorm. Who pays for it?

 

Also, according to RCCL, you are not really an adult until you are 21 and can actually have your own room without parent supervision.

 

And if you think about it, even after you hit 18, you are still a TEEN, and then through nineTEEN!

 

So get over it. You probably wont feel up to being up too much later anyway. There isnt a ton of stuff to do for you unless you are over 21 and get go to the bar and casinos and gamble.

 

Make the best of your vacation! You dont realize how good you have it as a teen until you grow up and your parents stop taking you!

[Lady Chew]

Yeah, that's what they need . . . a place where the teenagers can hang out unsupervised to all hours of the night. :eek:

 

Are you serious about that? I really think that having well-supervised activities for the minors onboard is what the cruise lines are really after. I'm not saying the youth area you describe sounds bad, but does it really need to be "at all hours"? Having activities for the kids and teens until 1 am seems pretty reasonable to me. I can't imagine wanting my child to be out unsupervised at that time of night, and I certainly wouldn't expect RC to provide a supervised teen area staffed 24/7.

 

Who said anything about unsupervised?

 

Besides, if there are packs of kids running up & down the halls at 3am yelling & banging on doors (according to posts I've read on CC) their parents aren't watching them anyway and it would give them an alternate place to go.

 

If RC can keep the bars open til all hours for the adults, they can keep one area open for teens. Many teens are nightowls, especially on vacation.

 

(When I was a teen, I did spend some late nights sitting on the floor in a hotel elevator, just talking with my friends, because we had no where else to go. I don't recall any button-pushing, though ... :rolleyes: )

[Nisroftheseas]

As a teenager, I am also obviously peeved by the curfew. For one thing, it is very early. I had been on two cruises as a teen before this ridiculous curfew was instated. All my friends and I would do would be to sit in the card lounge or cafe promenade. Honestly though, on my last cruise we did have this curfew, and I found that if you just stayed out of the way, no one would send you back to your room at 1:01.

[alcheme]

Who said anything about unsupervised?

 

That was sort of my point, though. Teens don't need to be up all hours of the night unsupervised, and I don't think it's realistic to expect RC to provide supervision for them 24 hours a day. I really doubt that there would be a high enough demand for activities at 2 or 3 am to make it worth their while to hire the extra staff to supervise such an area all night long. So the alternative is to set a limit. They chose 1 am as that limit, which seems pretty reasonable to me. There really aren't a large number of adults out and about beyond that time, either. They've usually closed down all but the casino and maybe one or two bars by that time.

[reallyitsmema]

MaryZ said: Honestly if I were designing a cruise ship, I would have a spacious area for kids that had game tables (ping-pong, air hockey etc) with their own pizza/sandwich place that offered trivia games, music etc for sea nights till 2am. This way they could have teen counselors there and the kids would be doing constructive fun.

 

That would be great ... but I would add an area just couches & floor cushions where they could just hang out and talk with their friends. At all hours ... maybe they would need to have permission from parents, or sign in with their Seapass, but they really do need their own space, and most of them certainly deserve it!! I know that any time my two sons have spent an entire day with hubby & me, no matter how much fun we've had, they want to stay up and on their own afterwards.

Some of the ships already have this area you are talking about, it is call the Living Room. There is a foosball table and a soda bar, big screen tv, computers. At certain hours it is supervised and they have make your own mocktail parties, texas holdem tourneys and other activities. Fuel has dancing until 1 or 2 am most nights for the 15-17 yr olds.

 

Activities do exist for the kids that want to participate. Alcheme, you might not think things close down at 1am but I know from experience that they don't. Where are you getting your information about activities and facilities for teens?