Diana Remembered

[kazover40]

As we are now totally off thread, thought you would like this one. It might at least get the plug pulled and get rid of this awful heading lol

Miss Beatrice - Brilliant.

 

 

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

 

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

 

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist.

 

"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

 

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.

The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

[happyscot]

Glad you enjoyed :)

 

Of course all you great folks from The UK are very welcome to add a few about our "celebs" *LOL*

 

 

 

33% of Americans believe they have been kidnapped by aliens at least once. At LEAST once - perhaps they brought the wrong probe the first time.

 

70% of Americans regularly participate in religious ceremonies.

 

85% of Americans do not own a passport.

 

Mr Bush believes his actions are directed by Gaad.

 

 

Actually that isn't very funny at all is it? Just really, really scary.

 

Anyway, not to worry, back to the amputated leg jokes.

 

xxxxxx

[stowaway2k]

Come on any Sen. Craig jokes out there *LOL* The joke mills (at least where I work) have been slacking lately

 

Several prominent Republicans are calling on Sen. Larry Craig to resign. And a couple are asking for his phone number.

 

The guy was arrested for lewd behavior in the men's room, and I'm thinking, 'Well, hell. I'm lucky if I can get a hand dryer to blow

 

Al Qaeda has issued another threat to the U.S. saying we're not safe on land, at sea, or in the air. Well, Amtrak, Carnival Cruise Lines and United Airlines took care of that."

[babyher]

 

 

Several prominent Republicans are calling on Sen. Larry Craig to resign. And a couple are asking for his phone number.

 

The guy was arrested for lewd behavior in the men's room, and I'm thinking, 'Well, hell. I'm lucky if I can get a hand dryer to blow

 

Al Qaeda has issued another threat to the U.S. saying we're not safe on land, at sea, or in the air. Well, Amtrak, Carnival Cruise Lines and United Airlines took care of that."

 

 

*LOL*

 

Actually I hear Congress really wants Craig back . They have a big fillibuster coming up and who's better at "stall" tactics than him? :)

[babyher]

Glad you enjoyed :)

 

Of course all you great folks from The UK are very welcome to add a few about our "celebs" *LOL*

 

 

 

33% of Americans believe they have been kidnapped by aliens at least once. At LEAST once - perhaps they brought the wrong probe the first time.

 

70% of Americans regularly participate in religious ceremonies.

 

85% of Americans do not own a passport.

 

Mr Bush believes his actions are directed by Gaad.

 

 

Actually that isn't very funny at all is it? Just really, really scary.

 

Anyway, not to worry, back to the amputated leg jokes.

 

xxxxxx

 

 

Oh it is very scary *LOL*

 

I am very proud to be an American , just as I am sure everyone on this board is proud to be from whatever country they are from. But no matter what country we hail from I think we all have to admit, that along with the very best our countries have to offer, there is also a lot of scary stuff and weird people out there and most of them sadly are in power *LOL*

[pb82]

Don't forget that 100% of pollsters believe everything they're told.

[stowaway2k]

33% of Americans believe they have been kidnapped by aliens at least once. At LEAST once - perhaps they brought the wrong probe the first time.

 

 

Three out of ten? Not very believable. I've never met anyone who claims to have even seen a UFO or alien, let alone been abducted by them "at least once"

Is the statistic for other populations much less?

Without comparison, it's a useless statement, and probably far from accurate.

 

70% of Americans regularly participate in religious ceremonies.

 

Not sure what the point of mentioning this is. Is this much higher than any other populations? I doubt it.

 

85% of Americans do not own a passport.

 

Sort of excusable. Foreign travel, other than Mexico and Canada, is more expensive and time consuming for most Americans than for Europeans.

Plus, I can travel for 3000 miles in a straight line and still be within my own borders. Add additional thousands for travel to Hawaii and Alaska.

Most Americans have very little scheduled vacation time away from their jobs.

Have more than 85% of Europeans been outside of Europe? I doubt it.

 

 

 

Mr Bush believes his actions are directed by Gaad.

Who's Gaad, a Swedish bartender? This I would believe.

 

Whew! Talk about thread drift!

[JohnEZ]

Neither had I. The only offence I can see in it is that it's an abbreviation and we tend not to use them. Is Yank offencive to the US?

 

Depends on the Yank you ask. ;) Not this one :p

 

But then again, I tend to use "yank" more as a verb. IE, his headphones were yanked away from his head when his mother got angry. or something. lol