Sick to death off kid haters!!!

[kitty9]

Just because someone points out an unusual incident involving children on a cruise doesn't make them a child hater. I was recently on a cruise with a large family group that had more than 30 kids total. These kids, who were often without parental control, made the cruise a living hell for everyone on board. They threw human feces in the pool, causing it to be closed for two days. That impacted everyone on the ship. They threw a stink bomb in the kid's club and it had to be closed for four days. The kids ran wild in the casino until security had to be called to remove them. The kids sat at dinner by themselves at the opposite side of the ship from their parents. They had food throwing episodes on a number of evenings. And three couples let their very young ones run around on the dance floor and one ran into an older couple who were dancing knocking the poor woman to the floor. These people were in their 80's. Again, it took security to have a talk with the parents. Many passengers wound up really "hating" those kids. Is that wrong? I don't think so, especially when kids like that really negatively impact the cruise for everyone, and not just a few passengers.

 

One thing I've noticed is that when you've become used to something, like kids yelling and acting out, many times parents don't actually hear it, like others might. I've been able to tune out my goddaughter because I've become used to her crying/noises/behaviors. What may seem like normal behavior to parents, seems a hundred times worse to those who aren't used to it.

[Onessa]

Just because someone points out an unusual incident involving children on a cruise doesn't make them a child hater.

At least in my experience (don't want to speak on behalf of the OP), the issue is not with someone who posts about a bad experience that involved chlidren that they may have had on a cruise, it is about the resulting posts that paint all children with the same brush. The folks whose answer to every question about kids on board is "leave them home with grandma". The folks who openly mutter or groan when someone sits near them or even walks by them with an infant or a toddler or moves seats when your 10 or 12YO sits down near them.

 

My DD is 12YO now, and I know I've told this story many times before on this board, but when she was 8MO, she and I boarded a plane to fly from SF to MPLS-STPL. When we sat down behind two businessmen on the plane, one immediately got up and loudly demanded to the flight attendant that he be reseated "as far away from that kid as possible". At the time my DD was fast asleep. When the boarding was complete, the flight attendant was able to reseat this man at the very back of the plane. DD sucked on a bottle of water while we were taking off, then fell back to sleep, awoke without a peep and was cooing and babbling a bit before it was time to land. The man's travelling companion, helped me off board, admired the baby and then waited for the other guy while I walked off to my connecting flight. Midway down the concourse the rude gentleman hurried up to me, apologized and offered to help me to my next gate -- it seems his companion was his boss and that the boss had royally dressed him down for his rude behavior. He had pre-judged my daughter based solely upon her age.

 

THAT is the behavior that many of us object to those are the posts we object to.

[Julienatul]

At least in my experience (don't want to speak on behalf of the OP), the issue is not with someone who posts about a bad experience that involved chlidren that they may have had on a cruise, it is about the resulting posts that paint all children with the same brush. The folks whose answer to every question about kids on board is "leave them home with grandma". The folks who openly mutter or groan when someone sits near them or even walks by them with an infant or a toddler or moves seats when your 10 or 12YO sits down near them.

 

My DD is 12YO now, and I know I've told this story many times before on this board, but when she was 8MO, she and I boarded a plane to fly from SF to MPLS-STPL. When we sat down behind two businessmen on the plane, one immediately got up and loudly demanded to the flight attendant that he be reseated "as far away from that kid as possible". At the time my DD was fast asleep. When the boarding was complete, the flight attendant was able to reseat this man at the very back of the plane. DD sucked on a bottle of water while we were taking off, then fell back to sleep, awoke without a peep and was cooing and babbling a bit before it was time to land. The man's travelling companion, helped me off board, admired the baby and then waited for the other guy while I walked off to my connecting flight. Midway down the concourse the rude gentleman hurried up to me, apologized and offered to help me to my next gate -- it seems his companion was his boss and that the boss had royally dressed him down for his rude behavior. He had pre-judged my daughter based solely upon her age.

 

THAT is the behavior that many of us object to those are the posts we object to.

 

I wholeheartedly agree!!! Its discrimination directed to all parents because some are not doing their job very well. I am always courteous of the other passengers with my daughter and try and teach her good manners at age two.

 

That post that kitty9 made was just disgusting!!! If I were the cruise line, I would have thrown the family or families off at the next port. That type of behavior should NEVER be tolerated.

 

I think most of us here on the parenting board care about other passengers and want everyone to have an enjoyable cruise.

 

Julie

[larronry]

that has been left. out.......in the olden days.....parents often had the same idea as to what manners, respect, do not yell etc. meant and time was spent teaching children literally how to behave in public.

Now it seems in many cases, too often in fact, it is a free for all, anything goes and the parents are well too far behind (physically and lack of understanding about behaviour and how others accept or do not accept it) to look after their children. In fact it appears some feel since it takes a village to raise a child then let the other passengers look after the sweet screaming racing around little ones. No thanks. I raised mine, they knew how to behave and they are teaching my grandhcildren. Screaming racing around free for alls are not allowed. Manners are in.

 

We likely have good parents posting here but seriously there are fewer and fewer caring parents who consider other people rather than the "me" factor..grant you once they got together the "me" may have become "us".....but it never extents to "them" ........meaning everyone else.

 

No thank you. I am still not going to pay $3500 to go on a cruise and babysit "yours". That is your job, Mom and Dad...every Mom and Dad to look after their children.

 

The phrase "do not like kids" really has nothing to do with irriating and bad behaviour on the children's part and that of their parents.

 

I really feel sorry for the staff.

 

I will take care of my son and absolutely do not want you to babysit him.

 

I love that there are posters that admit that their children are different. Some are well-behaved and able to sit through a long dinner and some are not. I totally appreciate this.

 

My opinion, this is link it completely focused on those parents that do not notice that their kids are disruptive or just don't know or are not willing to deal with it.

 

There have been many times in our son's three years of life that my husband and I have not been able to finish a meal together as a family because one or the other (usually hubby) takes our little one out of the restaurant do to a kid break-down. :) Yes, I love it that he is willing to do this and let me finish my wine. :)

 

Cheryl

I am so jealous of you. I am always the one that has to walk out of the restaurant. Did so as recently as last Saturday and absolutely will do so on the cruise.

 

My son is will be two on Sunday and for the first time grabbed something out of a candy tray at an event at someone's house last weekend. I told him no and removed the item he touched. I think it's gross to touch items in a buffet and end up not eating the item myself, especially on a cruise.

 

As far as behavior, my parents brought me everywhere and I was expected to behave. I want my son to be able to have all the wonderful experiences I had and the only way that is going to happen is if he learns to behave in public. The only way that will happen is 1. I have to teach him and 2. I have to do it in public and not at home. Yes he will have tantrums and meltdowns and I expect that. I will make every effort to prevent them and redirect them before they occur but when they do happen I will remove him so as to disrupt the other passengers as minimally as possible. And after I've done all that if anyone complains well it's there problem.

 

Of course I haven't chosen the best cruise line for family cruising but I can blame them for canceling my cruise last year where I regrettably didn't plan on bringing my son. Went on Princess missed him too much and we are taking our partially free cruise with him this year.

 

BTW I've always been the one (I'm late in having children) who would help the parent (usually mom) when there child was having a meltdown and even helped the kids on a plane when mom was having a meltdown. LOL (Bad weather mom decided pilot had a death wish and panicked.)

 

Since Buffet dinner is not an option on Celebrity I intend to be in the dining room and not at casual dining because either way I have to wait to be served. I would rather have the same wait staff every night and have the high chair waiting for me and get the extra attention that the dining room gives me. And if I have to go for a walk between courses that's just fine with me. :)

 

Cruising might be more relaxing without kids but not more fun. :)

[sgttami]

I just wanted to throw in a few thoughts.

 

I was an int'l Flight Attendant for 17 years, okay, actually flew for 13 of those... That's still a lot of observing lots of families of various nationalities travelling. Plus I've been to almost 60 countries and lived in 5. We, the crew, used to have this exact discussion in many gallies crossing many miles and we made a few observations...

 

First, this can be very cultural. I was amazed what different standards are going on around the world. Japanese, for example, are very, very tolerant. There are even warnings to foreign parents in travel books to not scold their children in public as to not upset Japanese people who feel "children should be children". I've observed this myself when over there.

 

I take my kids to restaurants here in France, while wouldn't consider doing so in the equivalents in the States. The French are very laisez-faire with children. In fact, they find me amusing. My kid drops a glass, smashing it and I'm all horrified and I have half the staff patting me on the back saying "Kids do that..."

 

In countries without "Chuck-E-Cheez"s, people take their children places that most North Americans would consider inappropriate at hours that made my jaw drop.

 

Also, and I'm not dissing working parents. I was one. But seriously, some of the high-income parents we had on flights obviously spent very little time with their own children. Most of the "parenting" was done by caregivers, often nannies who were usually not with them on the trip but you could see these people were not used to 24/7 care, let alone in such a cramped environment. I had passengers who seriously did not have a clue as to what to do with their own kids. These were very educated people, not idiots, but obviously spent most of their time at obviously highly successful careers (and thus could afford fancy vacations). For example, these children would sometimes board dressed for a transatlantic flight with stiff fancy clothes, no snacks and very few toys. The parents slept while the babies cried or while toddlers crawled off, ran down the aisles and into our heavy carts, etc.

 

Much of what you might see also might be because of the home situation too. Since the parents spend very little time with their kids, perhaps they simply don't know where to draw the line. Perhaps they don't want to go on vacation and simply yell all the time. Again, not dissing blended families (I'm from one) but you might have step-parent situations going on too. The "parents" on the cruise might not be the actual pair who are even raising the children. A childless stepmom might not inherently know when to say what while the bio dad has stepped away...

 

It's hard to be consistent when there is no constant, if you see what I mean. Limited time with their children means limited or no boundaries, which the parents themselves might not even be setting. I'm thinking of that burbing dad who probably was trying to hard to be "friends" with his own kids.

 

A lot of kids only really spend time with the "other" parent while on vacation. A cruise would really be ideal for this. I mean, what would the kids do in dad's batchlor pad while he's at work all day? We used to call them "Disneyland Dads" and their kids did get to go some cool places (jealous, moi??) I didn't have quite those opportunities with my widowed-at-38 mother!

 

I'm not saying that ANY of these "excuse" bad behavior, and I am giving extreme examples, but there can be more going on behind the scenes than meets the eye, especially on a high-end vacation.

 

Please be clear that I'm not justifying any of it or taking sides. I'm also not promoting the idea of the traditional family as being the only way to properly raise a child (I certainly wasn't from one myself) but this is what the other cruisers might be observing, and this is what they're objecting to, as well as some of you.

 

 

Your post brought me back to a time a few years ago.

 

DH and I were on a flight to St. Thomas and there was a family traveling. Mom and Dad and son, about 10, daughter was 5. They were all very well dressed and traveling first class. DH and I were in first class due to upgrades on our One Pass miles..

 

The little girl kept asking.."mommy can you read to me?" and mommy said "no, I need a nap, I will read to you later." The little girl started to whine a bit and the next thing the mom was sleeping. I had a view of their seats and I felt so bad for the girl. The father and son were a few rows behind. Dad was asleep and the son was watching a DVD. It was the first time I'd ever seen a portable DVD player!

 

The girl looked completely forlorn and I felt so bad for her. I asked her about her book and I started talking and reading to her. The "MOTHER" had the audacity to say "SHHH, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP." On that note, I read even louder. Of course I took care not to disturb the other passengers but the mother was a witch who clearly didn't care about her daughter. I thought about that poor child the whole time on our trip. All she wanted was attention.

 

My assumption: family has a lot of $$, work is first, kids are second.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Sorry, but you are assuming there are only the two ends of the spectrum. Just because people don't want to vacation with children, doesn't mean they hate children.

 

You say that it is up to the parents to keep their children from ruining other people's vacations, but seem to think that a child putting their hands in food on the buffet is no big deal or that a child screaming it's head off and disturbing everyone should be chalked up to just the behavior of an infant. Well, that's fine, YOU decided to have children so YOU are the one that has to adjust your behavior. YOU decided to bring YOUR children on a cruise, so you need to get up and leave the room when your child is crying, not expect others to just put up with it because "babies cry". You need to be extra careful your kid doesn't put their hands in other people's food. When people without children (many by happy choice) see you making that effort it makes all the difference.

 

Unfortunately in today's world, parents don't seem to realize often enough that having children requires a change in YOUR lifestyle. You seem to think that everyone needs to accomodate you. Flying in a plane for three hours with your screaming baby is NOT your right, perhaps you could drive to see Aunt Tilly and then your child's behavior will only effect you, not everyone on the plane. You think it's cute when your three year old tries to serve herself at the buffet. We see your kid sticking their dirty hands in food we are going to eat and spreading disease.

 

So what about the cudmurgeons? Who's watching after them?:rolleyes:

[StarsAndHeart]

I agree so much with this post!

 

I'm 17, so basically I'm a kid myself. On one cruise, when I was about 7, I was just quietly walking along holding onto my mom's hand and an old bitter woman says (loudly) to her husband "There's too many freakin' kids here!" with a pointed glare at me. I got pretty upset that she took so much offense to me just walking! I was only 7, how was I supposed to understand she was a child hater?

 

The thing that gets me sooo angry is the complete double standard I see on ships. I'm very nearly 18, I'm not a child and I don't act like one. I understand that I am restricted to where I can and can't go on the ships. When I have to leave the discos and whatever at certain times to make way for the older crowd, I do it without complaint. But recently I was on Crown Princess and I had every mind to make a formal complaint... Not that it would have done anything.

 

For anyone who has been on Crown Princess or a similar Princess ship, they may recall the kids place with the so-called "Teens Only" hot tub and sunbathing area. Well, nearly all the times I went to use it there were adults with no children who were encroaching on the teens area because it was "less crowded". Well, excuse me, but there's a much bigger adults only pool just below that I'm not allowed to use, and I fully respect those boundries! I even tried informing some of these adults that the hot tub was actually for teens and parents with children, and the replies I got are actually to vile to be said on here. Why is it okay that the only tiny area that is supposed to be for kids gets taken by rude adults? Ugh it just makes me so mad!

 

My parents took me on every vacation with them and still do, although I'm sure most people would be delighted to think of parents dumping their kids onto family members while the parents sail the (child-free) ocean blue. Yes, babies do actually cry because, and this may be hard to understand, but they can't really speak yet. Get used to it!

[sailinglisa]

StarsandHeart...while YOU may respect the boundaries of the Adult Only areas, there are MANY people (parents and children) on board who do not! I am tired of parents bringing children into Adult Only areas.........Why can't those areas be respected by others on board? There have been many times while on a cruise when the Adult Only areas have been violated by more than a few underage passengers (with the blessings of their parents). You feel angry that adults impinge on "your" designated area.......how do you think we feel when others "our" designated areas are taken over?

 

I am not saying that two wrongs make a right. I am saying that if more people like you respected the distinctions between adult only and family areas, then we ALL would be more happy and get along better. Disney, the most family oriented cruise line of all, has strict boundaries for adult only, family areas and kid only areas. And they strictly enforce it.

[NoelsCat]

Yes, babies do actually cry because, and this may be hard to understand, but they can't really speak yet. Get used to it!

 

Amen.

[kaseykahnefan]

I copied and pasted this from my other post.

 

 

Okay let me clarify a couple of things. I liike kids, i spend every day of my life advocating for kids safet and well being.

What I mean is while I am on vacatio i do not want to hear high pitched loud fit throwing screaming and kicking kids whose parents are completly oblivious and when you look at said kid or said child the parents have some sort od snappy comeback as to why their little precious is acting this way and does nothing about it.

That being said I could care less if anyone brings coloring books and books to the dining room for a little one. i could care less if there is a DVD player brought with them as long as I dont have to hear it. Whatever works you know. I dont care if a gameboy is brought if it is on silent. Makes me absolutely no diffference.

Am i going to request a new table or groan or sigh if i see u and ur kids at my table. ABSOLUTELY NOT. I will sit down at my appointed spot engage you in conversation and talk to your kids and we will have a good time. The only time I EVER get annoyed with any kid is when they are throwing a monster of a fit ad the parents are all ladeda about it. Do I believe children should be seen and not heard. Again. Absoultely not. That is a ridiculous notion. Kids should be included. If i had a kid would i leave him/her at home, no way. Would they be allowed to act a fool on the ship, nope but i would not allow them to act a fool at home either. Kids will be kids. They will get upset, they will have fits, they will cry, they will get tired. It is all in how you handle it.

So in a nutshell bring the DVD player if it works, ignore people who are rude about it, be respectful of others with it and it will be good. But if someone just looks at you dont assume they are making judgements maybe they are just wondering what movie you haven they may want to watch it too. Lol. But if someone makes a rude comment then u can politely redirect them. :). But i do understand the automatic response to defend your child. I ahve cousins and a nephew and i would not allow anyone to be mean to them based solely on the fact they are kids/teenagers.

Oh and when i say u i mean you in general not any one person.

[StarsAndHeart]

StarsandHeart...while YOU may respect the boundaries of the Adult Only areas, there are MANY people (parents and children) on board who do not! I am tired of parents bringing children into Adult Only areas.........Why can't those areas be respected by others on board? There have been many times while on a cruise when the Adult Only areas have been violated by more than a few underage passengers (with the blessings of their parents). You feel angry that adults impinge on "your" designated area.......how do you think we feel when others "our" designated areas are taken over?

 

I am not saying that two wrongs make a right. I am saying that if more people like you respected the distinctions between adult only and family areas, then we ALL would be more happy and get along better. Disney, the most family oriented cruise line of all, has strict boundaries for adult only, family areas and kid only areas. And they strictly enforce it.

 

 

I agree with you completely, and if I were an adult and there were children in the adults only areas I'd be pretty ticked too. All I was saying is that the rules about children being in adult places were enforced quite a bit, but there was absolutely no maintenence of that same rule in the teen areas. I just find it annoying that while I try my best to obey the ships rules for that sort of thing, I find no enforcement when the situation is reversed. And, upon politely asking the adults in the teen area to respect the fact it was supposed to be "teens only", I got a very rude set of replies (granted, a few people did apologize and move on). I can only imagine that this is how you feel about the adult areas, and as such I highly respect your position in the matter.

 

I hope my previous rant didn't offend you (or anyone else)! I was just, you know, getting it off my chest. :) I totally agree, if we could all just respect the boundries on these cruises it would be a much happier experience for everyone!

[kaseykahnefan]

I agree with you stars and hearts we adults should respect your teen areas. I am sorry people were so rude to you. I would be upset if someone were mean to my teenagers.

[sailinglisa]

I hope my previous rant didn't offend you (or anyone else)! I was just, you know, getting it off my chest. :) I totally agree, if we could all just respect the boundries on these cruises it would be a much happier experience for everyone!

 

 

No offense taken at all! Just was trying to get that little rant of my chest too! :)

[cruiseinfoseeker]

I am not singling out this poster specifically but used this post as an example of a general theme I see in many posts on the CC boards....

 

 

......I get the " mommy look what he's doing...why is he misbehaving?" All I say is "we don't do that because we have manners."

 

My child knows better (knew better at age 2) since we would always remove them from the restaurant, church etc. if they didn't act appropriately.

 

The kids will be kids thing is getting pretty old. I've found it's a license not to parent and be insensitive to other patrons both young and old.

 

 

Sorry, but Blah, Blah, Blah.... to the above statement and the other one which you removed your child from a store once and that was the lesson learned for him/her.

 

Unfortunately these beliefs are part of the problem. "I taught my child better. They know because we did this..this...this...this and that, that, and that...."

Please people. Wake Up. Maybe the child you are watching have a tantrum has problems you know nothing about and are not obvious through the appearance of the child. Maybe these parents do properly discipline there child, and there is something more to the situation.

 

Although I cannot argue that parenting plays an important role in guiding children to behave properly, and parents of well behaved children should be proud; I have also seen that sometimes God had other plans.

Its the "My kids know how to behave because "I" am a super star parent" is actually the thing that is getting old. And gives many parents an excuse to pat themselves on the back, when perhaps they should only be thankful that they do not have a child with conditions that prevent them from behaving appropriately.

[mumeof3]

This is true,there may be autism with some of these children.

[crusinmama06]

Although I cannot argue that parenting plays an important role in guiding children to behave properly, and parents of well behaved children should be proud; I have also seen that sometimes God had other plans.

Its the "My kids know how to behave because "I" am a super star parent" is actually the thing that is getting old. And gives many parents an excuse to pat themselves on the back, when perhaps they should only be thankful that they do not have a child with conditions that prevent them from behaving appropriately.

 

That is very true and thank you for bringing that up. With my 1st daughter I thought how wonderful it was that I was a star parent with impeccable parenting skills that taught my child to behave perfectly anywhere we went. She was always content to go anywhere and do anything. She talked early, read early and was always at the top of her class.

 

And then comes my 2nd child who blows any confidence I had in parenting completly out of the water....lol. She is the polar opposite of my 1st. I have to work that much harder.

 

But she isn't autistic. So I can't even imagine the challenges parents face with autistic children.

[larronry]

I have to totally agree. First I am a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. I know how to handle behavior (in other people's children). Second, when I was/will be workin I do so usually with autistic children, but also with ADHD, Oppositional Deffiant, as well as typical children and I work with special needs adults. I had to throw in other people's children because I can tell you that dealing with someone else's child is so much easier.

 

I thought with all my experience and know how I would be able to handle anything. Well that may be true but my son is a challenge. I actually had him evaluated because he is so difficult. He's fine. Slow end of the normal range so I've decided he's stubborn like his mom. So although I know I have impecable parenting skills and I am very good about not reinforcing bad behavior and a do everything right most of the time (no parent is perfect) my son has meltdowns, especially when he can't have his way. I find it so wierd when I read that this parent taught thier child at the age of 2. My child isn't there yet and it isn't my parenting. Every child is born with a personality and unfortunetly you just can't fight it. Some are just easier then other.

 

I still expect my son to behave and to have manners it will just take me longer to teach him. In the mean time I'll be walking out of more restaurants. And he'll be coloring on more of my walls. EEK

 

When I see a parent in public with a child having a meltdown and either my child is behaving or I'm not with him I support instead of knocking the parent. I might say "I've been there" or "keep up the good work" or "don't give in" the last one only when I see they are being strong and not giving in I'll put the last two together. I think parents need to stick together and not knock each other.

[momofsamandeden]

thank the stars for washable crayons.....:D

[larronry]

thank the stars for washable crayons.....:D

That's all I have in the house.:D

[Onessa]

I. . . When I see a parent in public with a child having a meltdown and either my child is behaving or I'm not with him I support instead of knocking the parent. I might say "I've been there" or "keep up the good work" or "don't give in" the last one only when I see they are being strong and not giving in I'll put the last two together. I think parents need to stick together and not knock each other.

 

Amen - my DD is now 12YO, and has always been pretty well behaved (I'm lucky she inherited more personality traits from DH than from me!).

 

I'm hoping most of us can emphasize with a caregiver with a child in melt-down.

 

What bugs me are the ones who are oblivious to their child's bad behavior (CRASH! -- only then "Jonathon dearest, the crystal vases are for looking not touching" in one of those sing-songy voices and then a look toward the shop keeper with a "oh well, boys will be boys" excuse, no REAL remorse and certainly no compensation for the damages inflicted) or those who scream just as loudly back at the kids, threatening (or inflicting) bodily harm.

[Jeni99]

"Maybe the child you are watching have a tantrum has problems you know nothing about and are not obvious through the appearance of the child. Maybe these parents do properly discipline there child, and there is something more to the situation."

 

We are going on our first cruise in October 2008 with our four kids. We are also bringing my mom and my best friend to help with the children. I believe we are very good parents and I am researching everything I can about our cruise. My kids will be 12, 7,4, and 2. My 7 year old is autistic, but high functioning. He has the developmental delays, language delays and behvioral problems. He mentally is only at like a 3 year old level. We are leaving from NYC in October so we are thinking there will be less kids, cause my son gets along better with adults. We are practising eating in public and already going over things with him. The part I am afraid of is that he does have meltdowns not many but I am sure we will have atleat a couple. I hate the comments from people that don't know us. Those that say, "wow he should act his age, or can't you be good for your mom." I know they don't know my kid is autistic and he does want to be good, more than anything.

We normaly go to a family beach resort and he did so good last year until he played a carnival like game and lost so I tried winning it for him and lost. He was so upset and started crying and yes jumping up and down. The very rude game person made some nasty comment about his behavior and acting his age and my best friend jumped all over him. She told him he was autistic and he appoligized and said he didn't know. She said ya I know you didn't, but you should never judge anyone if your don't know their story. I hope that we will have a great week, but I hope people are not all rude to us about our kids?

Jenn

[tksail]

Your message was well said. You put this situation into perspective.

[bmgaritty]

I am not singling out this poster specifically but used this post as an example of a general theme I see in many posts on the CC boards....

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry, but Blah, Blah, Blah.... to the above statement and the other one which you removed your child from a store once and that was the lesson learned for him/her.

 

Unfortunately these beliefs are part of the problem. "I taught my child better. They know because we did this..this...this...this and that, that, and that...."

Please people. Wake Up. Maybe the child you are watching have a tantrum has problems you know nothing about and are not obvious through the appearance of the child. Maybe these parents do properly discipline there child, and there is something more to the situation.

 

Although I cannot argue that parenting plays an important role in guiding children to behave properly, and parents of well behaved children should be proud; I have also seen that sometimes God had other plans.

Its the "My kids know how to behave because "I" am a super star parent" is actually the thing that is getting old. And gives many parents an excuse to pat themselves on the back, when perhaps they should only be thankful that they do not have a child with conditions that prevent them from behaving appropriately.

 

I'm sorry, but the "kids will be kids thing" is getting old- it's a license or an excuse to not parent. I'll still stand by it.

 

I really find it hard to believe that so many children have "conditions" that prevent them from behaving appropriately as you seem to assume. Are there some, yes, and it must be very difficult as a parent.

 

I guess I'm not the only one who feels that way.....

As Onessa posted:

" What bugs me are the ones who are oblivious to their child's bad behavior (CRASH! -- only then "Jonathon dearest, the crystal vases are for looking not touching" in one of those sing-songy voices and then a look toward the shop keeper with a "oh well, boys will be boys" excuse, no REAL remorse and certainly no compensation for the damages inflicted) or those who scream just as loudly back at the kids, threatening (or inflicting) bodily harm."

 

Am I a superstar parent? If I was, I wouldn't have had to remove my child from any situation. I do try to avoid restaurants like Mc D's since there are so many children running around like banshees. Of course McD's is a relaxed fast food restaurant with a play "area" (not the whole restaurant). According to you - the kids running around unsupervised outside the play area must all have behaviour conditions - I'll say they're not parented very well!

[cruiseinfoseeker]

I'm sorry, but the "kids will be kids thing" is getting old- it's a license or an excuse to not parent. I'll still stand by it.

 

I really find it hard to believe that so many children have "conditions" that prevent them from behaving appropriately as you seem to assume. Are there some, yes, and it must be very difficult as a parent.

 

I guess I'm not the only one who feels that way.....

As Onessa posted:

" What bugs me are the ones who are oblivious to their child's bad behavior (CRASH! -- only then "Jonathon dearest, the crystal vases are for looking not touching" in one of those sing-songy voices and then a look toward the shop keeper with a "oh well, boys will be boys" excuse, no REAL remorse and certainly no compensation for the damages inflicted) or those who scream just as loudly back at the kids, threatening (or inflicting) bodily harm."

 

Am I a superstar parent? If I was, I wouldn't have had to remove my child from any situation. I do try to avoid restaurants like Mc D's since there are so many children running around like banshees. Of course McD's is a relaxed fast food restaurant with a play "area" (not the whole restaurant). According to you - the kids running around unsupervised outside the play area must all have behaviour conditions - I'll say they're not parented very well!

 

No not according to me, but according to your convenient twist of my statement. The kids running around unsupervised outside have parents that are not parenting at that time. Duh. That is obvious.

 

I am was referencing tantrums and just pointing out that for some of us it is not as simple as teaching a lesson to a child once by removing them or punishing them and the tantrums or misbehaviors will stop from then on as YOU stated that it was for you. I am glad for any parent that is able to do that, but wanted to point out that it is not necessarily the parenting and that thinking the parent lazy or worse is just wrong sometimes.

 

Also, I never said "kids will be kids." Nor did I say that letting children run around unsupervised was okay if they have "conditions"

As for your disbelief that so many children have "conditions" I don't know what to say to that. Do you pick and choose who you believe has a condition based on what?

 

As for Onessa's statement: Who would think that that is okay? Do you actually believe that my statements were condoning that behavior? C'mon? Please don't twist my statements into something they are not.

 

There are certain situations that it would be obvious that a parent is just letting the child take advantage of them or others and the parent is ignoring the situation. My initial statement had nothing to do with the obvious situations.

[CanadianTwosome]

I agree so much with this post!

 

I'm 17, so basically I'm a kid myself. On one cruise, when I was about 7, I was just quietly walking along holding onto my mom's hand and an old bitter woman says (loudly) to her husband "There's too many freakin' kids here!" with a pointed glare at me. I got pretty upset that she took so much offense to me just walking! I was only 7, how was I supposed to understand she was a child hater?

 

The thing that gets me sooo angry is the complete double standard I see on ships. I'm very nearly 18, I'm not a child and I don't act like one. I understand that I am restricted to where I can and can't go on the ships. When I have to leave the discos and whatever at certain times to make way for the older crowd, I do it without complaint. But recently I was on Crown Princess and I had every mind to make a formal complaint... Not that it would have done anything.

 

For anyone who has been on Crown Princess or a similar Princess ship, they may recall the kids place with the so-called "Teens Only" hot tub and sunbathing area. Well, nearly all the times I went to use it there were adults with no children who were encroaching on the teens area because it was "less crowded". Well, excuse me, but there's a much bigger adults only pool just below that I'm not allowed to use, and I fully respect those boundries! I even tried informing some of these adults that the hot tub was actually for teens and parents with children, and the replies I got are actually to vile to be said on here. Why is it okay that the only tiny area that is supposed to be for kids gets taken by rude adults? Ugh it just makes me so mad!

 

My parents took me on every vacation with them and still do, although I'm sure most people would be delighted to think of parents dumping their kids onto family members while the parents sail the (child-free) ocean blue. Yes, babies do actually cry because, and this may be hard to understand, but they can't really speak yet. Get used to it!

 

Stars, you sound like a very mature, responsible young lady. If this sort of thing happens in the future, however, I urge you strongly to complain, and to even take your parents with you. As the parent of a pretty young girl, I do NOT want adults who are not with children to be hanging around the designated children's areas. They can tell me all they want that the reason they're there is because it's less crowded, but the safety of my child is important to me, and any time there are childless adults spending time in areas designated for children and teens, I have to question it. I'd rather be wrong and have them removed from the area than be right and let them stay and possibly act inappropriately towards my or someone else's child.

 

As for the haters, I'm sorry you had to hear such a negative remark when you were too young to understand where it might be coming from. I'm glad to know that you have a good perspective now.