Sick to death off kid haters!!!

[crusinmama06]

Maybe I should clear up the reason I was offended. I felt like it was a personal attack when he kept making references to "When YOUR child" does this, and "YOU think it is adorable when...".

 

Oh I see why it got everyone's feathers in a ruffle. :D I am usually that way too. There are just certain anti kid posts that rub me the wrong way. Usually those posts include the words "Keep your little ankle biters at home where they belong with Grandma" :rolleyes:

 

Emjsea was a little direct. ;) But nothing as bad as other posters have been.

[CanadianTwosome]

So far, all I see on this thread is a whole lot of agreement. Some of the comments may have come off a little harsh, or even offensive... but the bottom line is that the children who are being complained about genrally deserve it, and all of the posters seem to agree that parents need to be responsible for their children.

 

True, there are 'child bigots' who expect the worst and see the worst in every child - just like other kinds of bigots who do the same with other groups. For the most part, though, I think the reason it seems like so many people are down on kids is because they've had bad experiences and want to vent... and what non-parent is going to start a thread saying, "The kids on my cruise were so well behaved I didn't even notice them..." (notice the 'didn't notice them' part)

 

I think it's really unfortunate that there are so many parents in the world who really don't put their children first... and to us, taking the time to ensure our daughter understands etiquette, has proper table manners, and is respectful of others is part of the responsibility we accepted when we chose to be parents. One day she is going to have to leave us and be a functioning adult... and we want her to have the best chance of success we can give her. Teaching her how to behave among other people is not just a big part of that, but really easy to do if you're willing to spend some time with your kids!

 

We've all seen the kids that people complain about, and we've all done some complaining - at least I have. They're very likely the kids that grew up to be the adults we all complain about as well. I'm pretty sure I've said it before on these boards, but it bears repeating... I've never had a bad experience with kids on a cruise. I've had plenty with adults, though!

[Karysa]

Oh, how I would rejoice if I walked over to my table and found a couple of smiling young faces there.

Mine are pre-teens and a teen and I will tell you the posts on these demographics are not any better so brace yourself it won't be over for a long while.

Remember when you're on vacation use your memory that is like a digital camera and delete the bad looks or bad comments like you would a picture that is not worth keeping. Take only the memories that you will cherish of your family time together.

Karysa

[CC Help Michell]

Everyone who reports bad behavior by children on their cruise isn't by definition a "kid hater." Some are. Everyone who reports bad behavior on their cruise by adults isn't by definition an "adult hater" either. I admit to having been floored by the link to the post on the NCL board about the crew on the Dawn perhaps having been relieved at a sailing with only a few kids instead of 800 kids. That's a lot of kids! That doesn't mean either the poster on that thread, or the Dawn crew, are "kid haters." Perhaps they enjoyed the chance to really get to know a few children instead of having to "manage" a slew of them?

 

I'm a loving aunt to 5, a dedicated teacher of hundreds (so far), a godmother of two, and a parent of none because the good Lord didn't decide that would happen. Does that mean my take on children, their growth process, how they learn, what they love and need, is worthless? Maybe so, in the eyes of some on this thread so far, given a comment like "these kid-haters usually have never had children or are too old to remember." That's okay; I'll still post here on the family boards when I think I have something of value or helpful to say.

 

I do not hold children to adult standards of behavior. I do, however, hold their PARENTS to adult standards of behavior. A parent might not be fast enough to stop a small one from sticking their hand (washed or not, how do other patrons know?) into buffet food. But a parent who treats that as the norm and acceptable, and thinks everyone else is "crazy" for being put off by that, does their child no service. Most of us would be completely grossed out if an adult did that, so children should be taught that it's not okay. Parents who permit their children to roam around the dining room at night during dinner service, getting in the waiters' way, touching other people, touching or taking food off other patrons' plates (I've recently read several reports of this, to my utter amazement).... are doing their child no service. Adults who did that would be removed (if not arrested!), so children should be taught that it's not okay. However, in neither situation is that "my" job -- it's the parents' job. If they don't do it, I don't blame the child. But if I come back and report the lack of parenting involved, don't label me a "kid hater" either.

 

I don't give a darn WHAT parents use to keep a child entertained at dinner (as long as it's quiet and doesn't interfere with others' enjoyment of their dining experience). As I've said before, most posters here on the family board are seeking to have a fun family vacation and figure out strategies that also respect other cruisers.

 

I have the utmost respect for the most difficult job most adults will ever have -- raising a child to become a functional, contributing member of society. But I do expect them to do that job, and I have little patience for the parents when a child is acting in an anti-social manner and receives no correction from the parents.

 

That said, I totally understand when a child is in a meltdown -- I recognize the signs and that nothing ANYone does at that point is likely to be of great help, at least for the next ten minutes. But people who don't recognize that aren't necessarily "kid-haters." They just may not know that there really isn't anything the parents CAN do in that situation, apart from removing the child from the situation when possible (sometimes it isn't, as on an airplane).

 

Edit (PS) -- oh my goodness, that was a really LONG reply! I'm sorry -- I guess the "never had children" = "kid hater" really touched off a huge nerve for me.

[crusinmama06]

Maybe so, in the eyes of some on this thread so far, given a comment like "these kid-haters usually have never had children or are too old to remember." That's okay; I'll still post here on the family boards when I think I have something of value or helpful to say.

 

 

MICHELLP!!!!! You KNOW I never meant that as a comment against all people who don't have children. THAT comment was directed at those who come here and tell us how to raise our children (by leaving them at home with Grandma as to not ruin THEIR cruise) but end up not having any children at all.

 

I know MANY people who love children that don't have any. My Sister in Law for one...loves my kids like her own.

 

So when I wrote that, it wasn't that a childless person = a child hater. No, no, noooooooo! It was that someone who spews venom as a CHILD HATER on these boads usually = A person with no children or one who doesn't remember what it was like to be one.

 

Not the reverse. Of course people without children can love children. And I for one value the advice you bring to these boards.

 

I am soooo sorry you took my post that way. That wasn't my intention. :( I apologize.

[CC Help Michell]

Whew! Okay, then, sorry for the long spiel! :) Of course, I still think naked hands in buffet food = ewwww! Gross! no matter the age of the hands! ;)

[CanadianTwosome]

I'm glad you guys have worked it out! ha ha I'm not that sad there was a misunderstanding, though, just because it led to a great post, MichellP!

 

I'm so with you on the hands in the buffet thing, too. I taught my daughter as soon as she was tall enough to reach a buffet table that she should always look first for tongs or another tool so she doesn't touch the food... barring that, you touch it, you take it. I've even gone so far as to remove things from buffets if I've seen other people touch them - and sadly, I have to say it's always been adults.

[LikeTJ]

Honestly, there are certain times during the year where kids are not that plentiful. Also which cruise line you sail affects how many kids are on board. We have five kids :eek: ( thats right 5 ) My wife and I cruise every year to get time away from our kids. Again 5 kids. But we sail during school months and not out of Florida. When we do take our kids we generally go out of Florida where you'll find more kids traveling. If you want to cruise with a low number of kids on-board do some homework and find the right cruise at the right time. Most parents control and monitor their children, unfortunately a small few don't. Happy cruising:)

[Luxuriate]

I am a 37 year-old mom with a 3 year-old son. I can honestly say, I don't EVER remember kids being a problem. EVER! The only problems I ever saw where with loud family groups (almost all adults) that decided they should have free run of the cruise. They saved seats everywhere. This happened more than once on a cruise. Really, it never had anything to do with kids.

 

I just asked my husband (he is 62 years old and is on his second family). He too says he does not ever remember kids being and issue. There is a definite issue with adults though. He said he noticed there are some people that feel like they are entitled to everything and that the entire crew should bow down to their demands.

 

Just our observation.

 

Cheryl

 

Cheryl

[Warm Breezes]

My children, while not perfect, know how to act in public. I have never had to reprimand them in front of others, rarely in private, and have had many compliments on how well behaved they are. When my son was 2 we drove to Florida from Michigan for a nieces wedding. We stopped at Disney World for a day before the wedding. My SIL's and BIL's flew down for the wedding. At the wedding and reception, my DS was better behaved than my SIL's who were fighting and bickering the whole time they were there. He didn't have a single meltdown, even though I'm sure he was exhausted from the long trip down and the day at Disney World.

 

I have friends who have children the same age as mine now (10 and 13). When we take care of their children with out their parents they act like perfect angels. I have never had to punish them, only let them know in a calm voice that they need to behave, no arguments or fighting and I quell any trouble that starts with just a reminding look. In fact, we were complimented on how well all 4 of them acted one time when we took them out to eat. When their parents are with us, they turn into little devils. They can't sit still, they whine, they constantly fight, and the 10 year old still throws temper tantrums in public. It is quite embarrassing. While I love my friends dearly, they need help with their parenting. It is all in the boundries we sit with our children. My children, and their children when they are just with us, know that the boundries are set and how they should behave. My friends blame their children's actions on being hungry or tired and make excuses instead of correcting them and setting their boundries. Their children know this and do what they can get away with. My friends are so used to their behavior that I don't think they realize how poorly their children are behaving.

 

My point is that children who are given boundries at an early age and are taught how to behave in public are out there. There are also children who are not given boundries and act like little houdlims. It is the parents who need to set the boundries and if they are not obeyed, need to follow up on the discipline and remove the child before he becomes an annoyance to others and an embarrassment to the people who are with you. This is the only way they will learn what the boundries are. If you let them behave poorly they will think it is acceptable behavior when you are around. There are also adults who have never learned the boundries of acceptable behavior and still act like poorly in public as adults.

 

Parents when we have children we take on the job of helping them grow up to well disciplined and happy adults. I cannot believe a child who throws a tantrum is a happy child. It makes me wonder what kind of adult he/she will grow up to be. Please teach your children boundries for their sakes as well as everyone elses. I will step off my soap box now.

[ute_fan]

Personally, I think the comments from the "kid haters" that are frequently posted stem from the behaviour of their parents, not the kids directly. As a mother of two young adult age kids, who didn't start cruising until they were in their late teens, I never got to experience the joys of cruising with young children.

 

I did, however, make a comment in a recent review about the parents who were sitting behind us at a dining rom table one night. They had two young children with them, and were obviously traveleing with other family members, including a couple who looked like grandparents. Unfortunately, their toddler cried and complained for the entire 2 hour dining time, and the ill-mannered parents never took her out. It defintely distracted from our dining pleasure that evening. Thank heavens we were on NCL, and didn't have to deal with them on a nightly basis, since NCL doesn't have assigned seating.

 

My first thought, for about the first ten minutes was "That poor child is exhausted. Why don't they take her back to the cabin and put her to bed." My thoughts for the rest of the evening weren't nearly as forgiving. Especially with a ratio of 6 adults to one child, they certainly could have managed to take her out and either settle her down or rotate the adults in and out of the dining room, but instead they expected the rest of us to just ignore her.

 

Do I blame the child for her behaviour? No, definitely not. Her parents, on the other hand, definitely need to learn some manners.

 

As a side note, I do realize that some children are easier to deal with than others. My son, who is now 24, would have been no trouble to travel with. My daughter, age 21, would definitely have been an issue for a 2 hour long meal. As long as those of you who have young children are willing to deal with the situations that may occur, I have no trouble with your children on the ship. It's the parents refuse to deal with the situation, thinking that "I'm on vacation too", that I think prompt many of the comments about kids on cruise ships.

[Luxuriate]

I love that there are posters that admit that their children are different. Some are well-behaved and able to sit through a long dinner and some are not. I totally appreciate this.

 

My opinion, this is link it completely focused on those parents that do not notice that their kids are disruptive or just don't know or are not willing to deal with it.

 

There have been many times in our son's three years of life that my husband and I have not been able to finish a meal together as a family because one or the other (usually hubby) takes our little one out of the restaurant do to a kid break-down. :) Yes, I love it that he is willing to do this and let me finish my wine. :)

 

Cheryl

[crusinmama06]

Whew! Okay, then, sorry for the long spiel! :) Of course, I still think naked hands in buffet food = ewwww! Gross! no matter the age of the hands! ;)

 

Agreed! :D

[Eclipsepearl]

I just wanted to throw in a few thoughts.

 

I was an int'l Flight Attendant for 17 years, okay, actually flew for 13 of those... That's still a lot of observing lots of families of various nationalities travelling. Plus I've been to almost 60 countries and lived in 5. We, the crew, used to have this exact discussion in many gallies crossing many miles and we made a few observations...

 

First, this can be very cultural. I was amazed what different standards are going on around the world. Japanese, for example, are very, very tolerant. There are even warnings to foreign parents in travel books to not scold their children in public as to not upset Japanese people who feel "children should be children". I've observed this myself when over there.

 

I take my kids to restaurants here in France, while wouldn't consider doing so in the equivalents in the States. The French are very laisez-faire with children. In fact, they find me amusing. My kid drops a glass, smashing it and I'm all horrified and I have half the staff patting me on the back saying "Kids do that..."

 

In countries without "Chuck-E-Cheez"s, people take their children places that most North Americans would consider inappropriate at hours that made my jaw drop.

 

Also, and I'm not dissing working parents. I was one. But seriously, some of the high-income parents we had on flights obviously spent very little time with their own children. Most of the "parenting" was done by caregivers, often nannies who were usually not with them on the trip but you could see these people were not used to 24/7 care, let alone in such a cramped environment. I had passengers who seriously did not have a clue as to what to do with their own kids. These were very educated people, not idiots, but obviously spent most of their time at obviously highly successful careers (and thus could afford fancy vacations). For example, these children would sometimes board dressed for a transatlantic flight with stiff fancy clothes, no snacks and very few toys. The parents slept while the babies cried or while toddlers crawled off, ran down the aisles and into our heavy carts, etc.

 

Much of what you might see also might be because of the home situation too. Since the parents spend very little time with their kids, perhaps they simply don't know where to draw the line. Perhaps they don't want to go on vacation and simply yell all the time. Again, not dissing blended families (I'm from one) but you might have step-parent situations going on too. The "parents" on the cruise might not be the actual pair who are even raising the children. A childless stepmom might not inherently know when to say what while the bio dad has stepped away...

 

It's hard to be consistent when there is no constant, if you see what I mean. Limited time with their children means limited or no boundaries, which the parents themselves might not even be setting. I'm thinking of that burbing dad who probably was trying to hard to be "friends" with his own kids.

 

A lot of kids only really spend time with the "other" parent while on vacation. A cruise would really be ideal for this. I mean, what would the kids do in dad's batchlor pad while he's at work all day? We used to call them "Disneyland Dads" and their kids did get to go some cool places (jealous, moi??) I didn't have quite those opportunities with my widowed-at-38 mother!

 

I'm not saying that ANY of these "excuse" bad behavior, and I am giving extreme examples, but there can be more going on behind the scenes than meets the eye, especially on a high-end vacation.

 

Please be clear that I'm not justifying any of it or taking sides. I'm also not promoting the idea of the traditional family as being the only way to properly raise a child (I certainly wasn't from one myself) but this is what the other cruisers might be observing, and this is what they're objecting to, as well as some of you.

[6rugrats]

I also don't understand the link to eileenn's thread. She said nothing critical about children. It's almost as if someone has a huge chip on their shoulder?

 

Everyone should behave, not just children.

[HappyCamper1961]

I also don't understand the link to eileenn's thread. She said nothing critical about children. It's almost as if someone has a huge chip on their shoulder?

 

Everyone should behave, not just children.

 

The thing that irriated me about the OP was the fact the only demographic mentioned were children. If the OP was so interested in demographics then why didn't the OP mention other groups??

 

No, the OP did not make a critical or unkind statement about children. There again had the OP made mention of other groups on the cruise it would have been more balanced and not seem as though the children were being singled out.

 

Do I have a chip on my shoulder?? I don't believe I do. I was not searching random reviews hunting for remarks about children. We're taking the same cruise and I was interested in what the OP had to say about her experience.

 

I am, however, sensative about reviews where children had been singled out. In this case I over reacted. I do not intend to get into an email debate with the OP or anyone else. I don't have the time, the energy and this is not the forum for that. In this case let's chalk it up to a bad Monday morning.

 

I have been doing much soul searching since I made that post. If I'm going to be an effective parent in raising a child with manners it has to start with me. I admit my response to the OP was not very nice and was not using good judgement. I'm not a perfect human being or a perfect dad for that matter but I do have many endearing qualities. I'm a work in progress and I look forward to becoming the best father to my son & husband to my wife as I can be.

 

H.C.1961

[crusinmama06]

I have been doing much soul searching since I made that post. If I'm going to be an effective parent in raising a child with manners it has to start with me. I admit my response to the OP was not very nice and was not using good judgement. I'm not a perfect human being or a perfect dad for that matter but I do have many endearing qualities. I'm a work in progress and I look forward to becoming the best father to my son & husband to my wife as I can be.

 

H.C.1961

 

You had a bad day. And you have explained your reasons for the post. We have all been through it. With me, it's a knee jerk reaction where my fingers type faster than my brain works...lol.

 

No worries. :D

[lexxity]

We have just got back from the QE2 where we had the chance to chat a few times with Carol Marlowe (President of the Line). She said that we are just the demographic that Cunard and the industry in general is after! So if anyone ever says to you that kids don't belong on cruiselines then just tell them what Ms Marlowe thinks!:D

 

That being said, I have never had anyone say to me that children shoulsn't be on ships. Now kids on aircraft, I got into a very heated debate about that on another board!

 

We are trying to teach our nearly two year old manners and decency and it is very hard work! So when people say, hasn't he been good, it means SO much to us!

 

Also we are very grateful to have the nursery provision onboard too, it means that we can all have quailty, relaxing time apart and quality time together because we are all rested and destressed. We found it invaluable last week, again! Leo kept trying to take himself off to nursery too (it was accessed via the boatdeck, which is also the way outdoors so we were up there lots)! It was great in the evenings to know he was well taken care of and Mummy and Daddy could enjoy dinner in peace, as could other diners. I think that being relaxed parents makes for better parenting overall so I highly recommend a cruise that takes care of very smalls in the evening.

[Baxter]

Why are people offended by this post?? I have 2 young children and I completely agree that it is my job to teach them good manners. Would you really want to eat from the buffet that you just saw some kid stick their hand in - Gross! And at home at a restaurant, wouldn't you get up from the table and go outside if your kid was crying and screaming - I sure would. No, my children are not perfect, they cry, have tantrums and get cranky just like the rest of them. But they are learning (or have learned) that it is not acceptable to have that behavior in public and if they do, they will be removed from the area, stearnly spoken to and their behavior will be corrected.

 

/QUOTE]

 

 

Thank you for posting because I was thinking the same thing. Parents need to parent. My 1-year old does cry...but she won't do it long in the dining room before she is taken outside.

[howdyall]

I just wanted to throw in a few thoughts.

 

I was an int'l Flight Attendant for 17 years, okay, actually flew for 13 of those... That's still a lot of observing lots of families of various nationalities travelling. Plus I've been to almost 60 countries and lived in 5. We, the crew, used to have this exact discussion in many gallies crossing many miles and we made a few observations...

 

First, this can be very cultural. I was amazed what different standards are going on around the world. Japanese, for example, are very, very tolerant. There are even warnings to foreign parents in travel books to not scold their children in public as to not upset Japanese people who feel "children should be children". I've observed this myself when over there.

 

I take my kids to restaurants here in France, while wouldn't consider doing so in the equivalents in the States. The French are very laisez-faire with children. In fact, they find me amusing. My kid drops a glass, smashing it and I'm all horrified and I have half the staff patting me on the back saying "Kids do that..."

 

In countries without "Chuck-E-Cheez"s, people take their children places that most North Americans would consider inappropriate at hours that made my jaw drop.

 

Also, and I'm not dissing working parents. I was one. But seriously, some of the high-income parents we had on flights obviously spent very little time with their own children. Most of the "parenting" was done by caregivers, often nannies who were usually not with them on the trip but you could see these people were not used to 24/7 care, let alone in such a cramped environment. I had passengers who seriously did not have a clue as to what to do with their own kids. These were very educated people, not idiots, but obviously spent most of their time at obviously highly successful careers (and thus could afford fancy vacations). For example, these children would sometimes board dressed for a transatlantic flight with stiff fancy clothes, no snacks and very few toys. The parents slept while the babies cried or while toddlers crawled off, ran down the aisles and into our heavy carts, etc.

 

Much of what you might see also might be because of the home situation too. Since the parents spend very little time with their kids, perhaps they simply don't know where to draw the line. Perhaps they don't want to go on vacation and simply yell all the time. Again, not dissing blended families (I'm from one) but you might have step-parent situations going on too. The "parents" on the cruise might not be the actual pair who are even raising the children. A childless stepmom might not inherently know when to say what while the bio dad has stepped away...

 

It's hard to be consistent when there is no constant, if you see what I mean. Limited time with their children means limited or no boundaries, which the parents themselves might not even be setting. I'm thinking of that burbing dad who probably was trying to hard to be "friends" with his own kids.

 

A lot of kids only really spend time with the "other" parent while on vacation. A cruise would really be ideal for this. I mean, what would the kids do in dad's batchlor pad while he's at work all day? We used to call them "Disneyland Dads" and their kids did get to go some cool places (jealous, moi??) I didn't have quite those opportunities with my widowed-at-38 mother!

 

I'm not saying that ANY of these "excuse" bad behavior, and I am giving extreme examples, but there can be more going on behind the scenes than meets the eye, especially on a high-end vacation.

 

Please be clear that I'm not justifying any of it or taking sides. I'm also not promoting the idea of the traditional family as being the only way to properly raise a child (I certainly wasn't from one myself) but this is what the other cruisers might be observing, and this is what they're objecting to, as well as some of you.

 

Very interesting post. I really enjoyed reading about your theories. I also enjoy studying human behavior and making this type observation. You must have lead a very interesting life!

[Paleochick]

I just wanted to throw in a few thoughts.

 

I was an int'l Flight Attendant for 17 years, okay, actually flew for 13 of those... That's still a lot of observing lots of families of various nationalities travelling. Plus I've been to almost 60 countries and lived in 5. We, the crew, used to have this exact discussion in many gallies crossing many miles and we made a few observations...

 

First, this can be very cultural. I was amazed what different standards are going on around the world. Japanese, for example, are very, very tolerant. There are even warnings to foreign parents in travel books to not scold their children in public as to not upset Japanese people who feel "children should be children". I've observed this myself when over there.

 

I take my kids to restaurants here in France, while wouldn't consider doing so in the equivalents in the States. The French are very laisez-faire with children. In fact, they find me amusing. My kid drops a glass, smashing it and I'm all horrified and I have half the staff patting me on the back saying "Kids do that..."

 

In countries without "Chuck-E-Cheez"s, people take their children places that most North Americans would consider inappropriate at hours that made my jaw drop.

 

Also, and I'm not dissing working parents. I was one. But seriously, some of the high-income parents we had on flights obviously spent very little time with their own children. Most of the "parenting" was done by caregivers, often nannies who were usually not with them on the trip but you could see these people were not used to 24/7 care, let alone in such a cramped environment. I had passengers who seriously did not have a clue as to what to do with their own kids. These were very educated people, not idiots, but obviously spent most of their time at obviously highly successful careers (and thus could afford fancy vacations). For example, these children would sometimes board dressed for a transatlantic flight with stiff fancy clothes, no snacks and very few toys. The parents slept while the babies cried or while toddlers crawled off, ran down the aisles and into our heavy carts, etc.

 

Much of what you might see also might be because of the home situation too. Since the parents spend very little time with their kids, perhaps they simply don't know where to draw the line. Perhaps they don't want to go on vacation and simply yell all the time. Again, not dissing blended families (I'm from one) but you might have step-parent situations going on too. The "parents" on the cruise might not be the actual pair who are even raising the children. A childless stepmom might not inherently know when to say what while the bio dad has stepped away...

 

It's hard to be consistent when there is no constant, if you see what I mean. Limited time with their children means limited or no boundaries, which the parents themselves might not even be setting. I'm thinking of that burbing dad who probably was trying to hard to be "friends" with his own kids.

 

A lot of kids only really spend time with the "other" parent while on vacation. A cruise would really be ideal for this. I mean, what would the kids do in dad's batchlor pad while he's at work all day? We used to call them "Disneyland Dads" and their kids did get to go some cool places (jealous, moi??) I didn't have quite those opportunities with my widowed-at-38 mother!

 

I'm not saying that ANY of these "excuse" bad behavior, and I am giving extreme examples, but there can be more going on behind the scenes than meets the eye, especially on a high-end vacation.

 

Please be clear that I'm not justifying any of it or taking sides. I'm also not promoting the idea of the traditional family as being the only way to properly raise a child (I certainly wasn't from one myself) but this is what the other cruisers might be observing, and this is what they're objecting to, as well as some of you.

 

I, too, really appreciated this point of view! When we're sitting across a room judging someone's parenting, we should remember that people come from all over and have all sorts of stories and backgrounds. If something isn't done our way, it doesn't make it wrong. If a kid is misbehaving, perhaps that parent needs a little help. Rather than storming away and asking for a new table at dinner, try interacting with the kid...who knows, you may actually be able to teach the parent a thing or two by interacting in a positive way with an out of control kid. Instead of letting your blood pressure go through the roof when a kid acts out, try digging through your bag to find something to help the situation...a life saver, a pen and paper, ... . We have no idea where these people are coming from, if the kid has an attention problem, etc. Thanks, Sharon!

[jgsmuzzy]

Thank you for posting because I was thinking the same thing. Parents need to parent. My 1-year old does cry...but she won't do it long in the dining room before she is taken outside.

 

Agreed. Just for reference, I am Lexxity's husband. As mentioned, we were on QE2's 40th Anniversary voyage last week with our nearly 2 year old. He was great in the Lido, made a mess but didn't show us up. If he had started having a meltdown, he would soon have been outside on the open decks to vent and calm down.

 

As a parent, would I let an under 8 get their own food from a buffet? Nope.

Do I let Leo run amok around the ship?

Nope.

Can a great time still be had when you are having to teach and reinforce manners in a 2 year old?

Yes indeed!

 

The problem arises when arrogant parents think that their offspring is the only thing in the world. That is wrong, but it is not the childs fault, they have lived all their lives being the centre of the universe.

[crcossel]

I think most of us on these boards realize that if we have a complaint about child/parent behavior that on these boards we are preaching to the choir. But understand that often this is a place to vent as well.

 

We don't have kids but most of my friends do. Occasionally it does drive me crazy when the kids get extremely loud and nobody does anything about it. I do have trouble understanding current parenting trends as my parents never would have let me get away with some the behavior I witness on a daily basis.

 

With that said I don't hate children at all. I love happy well-behaved children and I often hold the title of "official baby holder". Just remember that there are 2 sides to every story. Often I think that had you been in the same situation with whoever is complaining.....you probably would have agreed that the child's behavior was wrong and should have been addressed by the parents.

[Onessa]

I think most of us on these boards realize that if we have a complaint about child/parent behavior that on these boards we are preaching to the choir. But understand that often this is a place to vent as well.

 

We don't have kids but most of my friends do. Occasionally it does drive me crazy when the kids get extremely loud and nobody does anything about it. I do have trouble understanding current parenting trends as my parents never would have let me get away with some the behavior I witness on a daily basis.

 

With that said I don't hate children at all. I love happy well-behaved children and I often hold the title of "official baby holder". Just remember that there are 2 sides to every story. Often I think that had you been in the same situation with whoever is complaining.....you probably would have agreed that the child's behavior was wrong and should have been addressed by the parents.

 

Not all parents are really aware of what their kids are doing.

 

My DH's cousin has a 5YO and a 7YO - she is a stay-at-home mom who regularly agments her family's income by sitting mainly for school aged kids. She has simply grown accustom to the chaos her kids cause. We have side-by-side lots for our cabins "up north". While my DD and GN both love playing with and/or watching her kids, I make certain that the littel kids' needs don't overwhelm the girls. Cousin is oblivious to everything! But even SHE was shocked by the behavior of my BIL's 3YO grandson.

 

My point is that there are a variety of levels of tolerance out there. What one person thinks is exemplarary behavior by a child, another would label as intolerent.

[nu2cruises]

OK, I have to just chime in for a minute or two. On our Alaskan cruise my husband witnessed a grown-up taking food from the buffet with her fingers right in front of our children! This was after many times of saying to our kids, use the tongs, use the tongs. I have also warned my son when we go on a cruise (he has ADHD and can't take the meds, but we have found alternatives that are working quite well), that if he doesn't behave, they can ask us to leave the ship. That was all it took and he was great for the whole week. I did feel bad on that trip that we had late dining, had gone back an hour in time and by the 3rd night, he was falling asleep before dessert. We also let our kids eat with the kids club a couple of times because there were activities they really wanted to do that were at the same time as our dinner. Our family vacation time is very precious to us and the kids see their dad very little because of the long hours he works. It is because of this that I do stay home with them. They are a little older, 12 and 9, but I do expect good behavior everywhere we go. If I know we are doing something that my son doesn't enjoy at all, but I have to bring him, he always has the option of remembering to bring his gameboy or a book to read. I also believe that if you have high expectations for behavior and your kids know what those are, they will rise to the occasion. Realistically, they do have meltdowns, can't control something, get tired, etc., but those are the times for one of us to leave with the child until they can behave appropriately. This parenting thing is never easy, and I wish all kids came with instructions. My daughter is so different from my son and they come from the same parents. I also had two sisters growing up and no one warned me about the world of boys. I have learned so much, my son is a work in progress, and I only hope that I raise children who are responsible, caring, compassionate, and can survive in the real world when they are ready. I also hope that when I am older I will remember what it was like to have small children and instead of complaining about someone who is maybe having a bad moment, offer to lend a hand if they look like they could use it. (I don't want to be one of the grumpy well-aged people on the ship glaring at others)!

I hope all of you have a great day, love the children you have with all your heart (my DD 12 had a friend die from cancer in August), and realize that with all the ups and downs of parenting come some priceless memories and time that goes by all too quickly and you can never get back! (I guess I got a little long-winded, sorry!)