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RCCL announces cost-cutting strategy for 2009

amybear912

By amybear912,
in Royal Caribbean International

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amybear912

amybear912

Posted
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RCCL announces major cost-cutting efforts …

Royal Caribbean stunned the cruising world today by announcing that they were rescinding their fuel surcharge and would instead be instituting some changes across their fleet to save money and supplement the additional cost of fuel.

  • Soda card purchasers will now submit to a retinal scan with each soda purchase, thereby limiting the soda consumption to the purchaser of the soda card. Cruisers will now be required to consume said-soda in the presence of a crewmember.
  • The new Gala buffet and all meals will now be served in a brown paper bag and cruisers will be directed to a picnic table to consume their meals. Cruisers will have a maximum of 30 minutes to consume their brown bag meal and will then be directed to a trash can to dispose of the bag.
  • Cruisers will be issued their linens upon boarding and will be expected to have their rooms made up by 8am each morning. Crew will be responsible for checking that the rooms are made up and prohibiting cruisers from leaving their rooms until the beds are made.
  • Cabins will now be assigned on a first-come first-served basis. A standard fare will be applied to all and the first to arrive at the departure port will receive the better cabins. The later you arrive, the lower the category of your cabin.
  • All cruisers will be required to eat in a specialty restaurant a minimum of twice per cruise.
  • Tips will now be called “service charge” and will automatically be charged to your SeaPass upon boarding. No adjustments will be made. Better cabins will continue to be charged more for service.
  • At least one port per cruise will be cancelled at the Captain’s discretion.
  • Smuggled alcohol will now result in a fine of $100 per bottle. You may keep your booze with you, you will simply be charged $100 per bottle or case of wine or beer.
  • A limited number of passenger will be permitted to leave the ship while in port. Again, first to arrive at the gangway will be allowed to leave. Once the maximum number of passengers has left the ship for that port, no other passengers will be allowed to leave. All passengers will of course, be charged port fees. No refunds of any sort will be issued for passengers not able to be at the gangway on time.
  • To insure that all passengers have the best cruise experience possible, a mandatory First Night Fashion Show will take place. Each cruiser will don their formal attire and be required to parade through the dining room where a select set of passengers will judge their attire and determine if the attire is appropriate for formal night. Those with inappropriate attire will be required to eat their brown bag dinner in their cabins. Appropriately attired passengers will have the privilege of eating in the Main Dining Room.
  • Cruise fares will no longer change. All will pay one price, the same price. No further reductions will occur.

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robtx100

robtx100

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Coin operated life jacket vending machines will also be available in the event of a muster drill or real emergency. ;)

 

But where will I keep change handy while I'm wearing my speedo? And will they still have room service? I don't agree with these changes and plan on writing Richard Fain and the President of the U.S. and I expect a response immediately, before I even finish writing the letter. lol.

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pierces Great Review Rare

pierces

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Flush meters on the cabin toilets will apply a surcharge for excessive use. (A bout of Norovirus could double the price of your cruise!)

 

You will need your Sea Pass for the $1.min. shower. (Clever passengers will save money by using their own soap combined with discreet use of the hot tubs and poolside showers!)

 

Toilet paper roll-ette will be reasonably priced at the General Store.

 

Savory hors d'oeuvres will be available in the casino vending machines.

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AMommyof2

AMommyof2

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What about the one where each passenger will have to ride an exercise bike one hour per day that is connected to the ship's electrical generator?

 

Mike

 

 

I just knew you were going to say the mandatory bike riding was to keep passengers' weight down, thus cutting down on the amount of fuel required for each cruise.

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AMommyof2

AMommyof2

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DH suggested cutting holes in the bottom deck just above the deckline to create "outdoor" toliets for the cruisers....no toliets needed in the cabins...better than my diaper suggestion...."outhouse" at sea!!

 

Then they could even charge us an "illegal dumping" fee for the use of the outhouse service.

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5String

5String

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Each passenger will be required to purchase a minimum of 2 shipboard photos (8x10 or larger).

 

Disembarkation order will be determined by the highest bidders at auction.

 

Casino slot machines will no longer pay cash. Any winnings will be issued in the form of discount coupons good at any Iraqi Wal-Mart.

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Jimmers

Jimmers

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But where will I keep change handy while I'm wearing my speedo? And will they still have room service? I don't agree with these changes and plan on writing Richard Fain and the President of the U.S. and I expect a response immediately, before I even finish writing the letter. lol.

 

If you don't like it STAY HOME

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vjmatty

vjmatty

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Ships will now exercise eminent domain over all passenger balconies for the purpose of hang-drying towels and bed linens in an effort to save power.

 

Also, every passenger will be required to spend at least one hour per day in the casino, and any passenger finishing their hour ahead of the game will be required to spend their winnings at the art auction.

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SheriNtexas

SheriNtexas

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RCCL announces major cost-cutting efforts …

 

To insure that all passengers have the best cruise experience possible, a mandatory First Night Fashion Show will take place. Each cruiser will don their formal attire and be required to parade through the dining room where a select set of passengers will judge their attire and determine if the attire is appropriate for formal night. Those with inappropriate attire will be required to eat their brown bag dinner in their cabins. Appropriately attired passengers will have the privilege of eating in the Main Dining Room.

 

 

2.gif I like this one the best!! Thanks for posting!!

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JandJ091902

JandJ091902

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Also, passengers will be randomly assigned to galley duty to help prepare all meals, including placing the food in the standard brown paper bag. :D

 

 

What are you talking about?

 

Each passenger will be required to bring a paperbag from home! BYOPB!

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MJL

MJL

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What about the one where each passenger will have to ride an exercise bike one hour per day that is connected to the ship's electrical generator?

 

Mike

 

I just knew you were going to say the mandatory bike riding was to keep passengers' weight down, thus cutting down on the amount of fuel required for each cruise.

 

 

That's only been documented for cruises greater than seven days. :D

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