hucifer

I leave my thread for ONE DAY, and this is what I find? It's like you've all gone rogue.

I like it.

More please.

Coming tomorrow...about to go to bed. :)

Loving it so far!

Great! Hope you keep loving it! ;)

So glad you finally took the kid to Mickey World. I mean look at that face?? Now you have peaked my interest about the small world song.

 

Seriously, that song was in my head for months and I didn't do anything wrong.

Don't let that face fool you. My son loves Cedar Point and merely tolerates Disney World. He's a thrill junkie, so he is far more interested in coasters than Pooh rides.

It's a small world after all...

Hi,

 

It's been awhile since we last talked. Hope all is well.

 

Great to see you are starting a new trip report on the Allure as that's probably our family's favorite cruise. I see you already have a long line of adoring fans and it's still day 1 of the trip report while you are on post #70. This looks like an epic trip report in the making.

 

Just like holiday parties, it's much more relaxing to be a guest than a host(ess) as I can just plop down on the sofa and read the trip report without the pressure of trying to sound witty and mingle with the guests. I will just keep reminding you that you are low on chips and dips and drinks...

 

 

 

So that begs the question - what is the highest form of wit? The answer is probably irrelevant for me as if I had to ask what it is, that means I am likely too dumb to utilize it even if it was explained to me in crayons and paper.

 

At any rate, looking forward to the rest of the trip report and taking notes on the side for any good photo ops or trip report writing ideas that I can steal and call it my own for my cruise next month...;p

 

Harry

HARRY!

OMG OMG

[jumps up and down]

I am SO EXCITED that you're here. Welcome to my humble report.

[bows respectfully]

You said it. It's a lot of work keeping up with replies and posting and finding pics and keeping the dip stocked and the glasses filled. It's exhausting! But as long as my guests are enjoying themselves while I work my butt off, that's all that matters.

Oh, I thought of you throughout my cruise. I would pass by the umbrella stand and think, "Harry took a pic of that." Or I would see one of those Small Wonders stands and think, "Harry took a pic of that too." You and your family were on my mind from time to time. I don't take NEARLY the amount of photos that you guys did, so you'll have to use your imagination most of the time. Damn kids have so much screen time, they never get to use their imaginations nowadays...

But I digress.

The highest form of wit is unknown to me as well. All I know is that my humor is as low-brow as they come.

Seriously. Super happy you're here, Harry.

I applaud your sense of humor. I like a little sass. An unknown fact about me is i was voted class clown back in the day (and i mean back, waaay back). That being said we (DW and BFF's) will be on "The Beast" for our 4th time at Easter week . We usually book deck 8 as we like to use CP to transition from bow to stern. :D

Hope you like a LOT of sass, cuz that's what I'm bringing.

FOURTH TIME ON THE BEAST? Holy cowbell. I did use deck 8 for walking across her a lot. Oh man, did I fall in LOVE with Central Park. Like, unnaturally so. Other than a ocean balcony, this would be the perfect spot for a balcony cabin.

Woah, Hey Stop the train!!

 

Are you telling us that you left that adorable little boy home alone as you gallivanted solo with Mickey? I hope you have the curse of NEVER GETTING IT'S A SMALL SMALL WORLD out of your head. I mean what kind of mother are you? Explain that one!!:cool:

 

PS all in sarcastic fun:confused:

Uhhh...

[tries to quickly come up with reasonable excuse]

I did feel a LITTLE bad about leaving the peanut behind, but honestly, he was only two. We took him when he was seven. It is funny that you curse me with the Small World theme song, as I have worked it into this trip report later on.

I wrote a trip report about that solo trip to Disney World, if you care to read that one too. It is LONG, though.

Love this review from a fellow solo female cruiser - I'l be heading out on another solo cruise in about 12 days! I've had good and bad comments, don't understand why people are so surprised that sometimes, we just enjoy our own company.

 

I went on Allure in 2012 and absolutely loved it. I'm sure you had an amazing time!

Oh hey, Virtopia. I've read a couple of your reports (I'm mostly a lurker). You are braver than me, as you have been to Europe alone. I so admire that. Isn't solo travel so empowering? I love it. Where is your next cruise? On which ship? Oh wait, I see you are on the Adventure.

Thanks for the report. We were on Allure April 2016 and loved it! The 7th deck is perfect location. And nothing wrong with an interior. We were in Promenade..has a window but still an interior. We didn't spend much time in the stateroom as we were too busy with everything else.

Looking forward to hearing more. Sweet how you became emotional.

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I must admit that the 7th deck was a good deck to be on. I just prefer aft cabins, since that's where I tend to spend all my time...eating. I didn't spend much time in mine, either.

Wonderful reviews. Keep them coming.

Thank you! Will do.

Joining this merry band! Although my very first cruise next year will be with my daughter, after that I imagine I will be going solo from then on. Looking forward to reading more!

Welcome to the party! You're going to love cruising. And solo cruises are the BEST.

Is that a pepper grinder on the top of the pic?:eek::eek:

No, those were banished from all dining rooms. Nowadays, you have to bring your own.

After enjoying a few solo trips I'm off on my first solo cruise on the "little" Grandeur, next year. I need time away from kids and hubby just to maintain sanity. As I get older the further I have to go. Is escaping across the Atlantic a bit much😉

 

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Heck no! Think of how relaxed you would be by the time you got back home. Your husband will be BEGGING you to take more extended trips.

I've done Disney World alone, but much prefer cruising as my solo vacation of choice.

DAY 1, part 1 – HOW TO LOSE A CRAZY, AXE-WIELDING JACK NICHOLSON

“Room service? Send up a larger room.”

-- Groucho Marx

[sound of fast-forwarding tape]

So here we are in the present. That silly night was AGES ago, and I am so much smarter today. Not only did I obtain Gatorade before checking into my hotel room, but I have a fancy new phone with a battery that fits and a back that doesn’t pop off. So I am trainable.

I get to the pier at noon. Not my preferred time to arrive, but sleep and Gatorade gulping were a priority this morning. I walk into the building and literally gasp. Listen peeps. I expected to walk on to the ALLURE and gasp. But not the pier. The line for security was…well…breathtaking, apparently. It was so long (how long was it?) that it had two separate entrances. So right away I step into my very own Choose Your Own Adventure book and hope that I made the right choice in security line. Right or left? RIGHT OR LEFT??? Last year, the Independence check-in had a simpler and much less chaotic setup, as I suppose rightfully so since The Beast holds a bazillion more people.

Up close and personal with The Beast

After the mile-long security line, I have more choices to make. Signs everywhere. Admittedly, I am slightly confused about where I am supposed to go. I swear I’m not an idiot, but I got momentarily lost. Fortunately, there are tall, bald muscular men wearing sunglasses and standing with clipboards behind velvet ropes to make sure you are in the right line. So heed my warning, people. Whatever you do...DO NOT GET IN THE WRONG LINE. Unless you want a man named Bubbles to make an example of you in front of a bazillion people. I may be Platinum [patooey!] and have Priority Check-in, but that means squat to Bubbles. “MA’AM. THAT IS NOT YOUR LINE.” The bouncer’s face is suddenly inches from mine. “YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OVER THERE. DECK SEVEN CHECK-IN.” Why, thank you, Bubbles. Now the whole ship knows where my cabin is. I was tempted to lean forward and boop Bubbles on the nose, just to lighten him up a little. Maybe even a swat on the rear, followed by “good game.”

Once Bubbles unclips the velvet rope and steps aside, everyone on the other side of rope are much nicer. And here is where priority check-in gives you the advantage. Instead of getting into a line with thirty commoners, you get into a line behind twenty-three seasoned veterans. In your FACE, non-priority check-in people. I am six whole people ahead of you. Or seven. Whatever. Math is hard.

Then I hand over my credit card and solemnly swear that I am not harboring any viruses that could cause extreme gastrointestinal issues of apocalyptic proportions. Then the nice woman behind the counter politely points me toward the escalators to the ship. And that’s when I realize…I’m almost there. On The Beast. [squeeeee!]

Stepping onto the ship was rather anticlimactic. After gonging in and being greeted by many smiling crewmembers, I step onto the Royal Promenade. Hundreds of other curious guests are like me, looking up and around and taking in The Beast’s first interior views. No big wow factor for me here because a Promenade is a Promenade. But my priority right now is food, not exploring. And, crowds be damned, I will be eating at the Windjammer. It’s my first-meal tradition and I don’t care how long I have to wait.

As fellow Cruise Critic members, ya’ll are in the know like me. You do your research months in advance and leave little to surprise. So yes, I read about the horrendous Windjammer lines. And yes, I read about the delicious roast beast sandwiches at Park Café. And you know what? I didn’t care. Windjammer is my jam. So I drag my not-yet-thighs-of-steel up to theWindjammer deck (10 decks up since they don’t have a thirteenth deck). As I sputterand gasp for breath at the top of the stairs, I am now living the infamous Allure double Windjammer line that I read so much about. But I care not, for I have a tradition to uphold.

I have to say, unlike the security line at the port, this line moves much faster than I expected. When I approach the host and tell him a party of one, he leads me to the high tables at the back of the restaurant. You know, the ones that look like a bar with a row of high chairs? At first I am bummed that I don’t get a real table. But then when I realize that I had a great view of not only Fort Lauderdale, but of everyone else in front of me, I must admit that I really like the spot. It grew on me. And it would be my go-to table every time I went to the Windjammer. Especially because it is always available, no matter how crowded the restaurant is.

This is the worst Windjammer day. Not only because it is one of the busiest, but because many of us have our carry-ons with us as we wander around the food stations. I have my oversized bag draped over a shoulder as I skirt and duck and bump into people. I didn’t have to duck and bump far that day, though, because the Asian Offerings section filled up my plate with all kinds of Indian fare.

Behold the plate that made me cry

I bring my plate of offerings to the bar-table, sit down,and just stare at everything going on: people buzzing around, getting food, saving tables, looking around, eating and talking. This is when the waterworks start. I can be rather emotional at times. And here I sit, on one of the largest cruise ships in the world, with a huge plate of deliciousness in front of me, anticipating the week ahead of me, and feeling overwhelmingly blessed to be able to be here. So instead of eating, I cry silently as I thank God for my blessings.

Once the tears were wiped away and I was able to contain myself (what is this salty discharge?), I finally start eating my plate of offerings. Everything on that plate is excellent. It is a fabulous way to start the vacation, and I was very happy that I stuck with my first-day tradition. Especially considering that the food in the Windjammer would be touch-and-go all week.

Despite the repetitive pleas from the loudspeaker to leave the Windjammer when you have finished your meal, I park my rear on that stool for a long time. Not because I think their rules don’t apply to me. It is because no one else was eating at the bar. I’m not taking up any valuable real estate. So I just sit and breathe it all in. Happily.

By the time my emotional state is back under control and I am ready to peel myself off the seat, the loudspeaker informs us that our rooms are ready. If I remember correctly, I believe Bubbles politely informed me and the 6,000 other passengers that I am on the SEVENTH DECK. Since it is a forward cabin and all the restaurants are aft, that means having to walk a half mile to the other end of The Beast.

I am a double loser. Not only am I Platinum [patooey!], but I have an interior cabin [patooey!]. No fancy-pants balconies or ocean views or anything nice for me. I don’t even have a virtual balcony. Call me steerage. There’s the engine deck, then the crew deck, and then me. I have had balconies before, so I know exactly what I’m missing: the sea, natural light, and neighbor’s smoke. I’m not going to pretend that I prefer interiors and that, financial status aside, I would choose them over balconies. Nope. I am poor and pick my cabins purely on price. Cruises are selected solely on cost. I don’t care about itinerary. Just throw me on a ship.

Who knew that there are interior hallways away from the mainport and starboard stateroom halls? Yeah, yeah, you can all put your hands down. Obviously I didn’t. This Beast is so big (how big is it?) that she has hallways inside of hallways. Like our own private maze that only we steerage have to wander through to find our cabins. They are the INTERIOR-interior (“interior2”)cabins – the worst of the worst, the bottom of the bottom cabins – because they are deep inside the bowels of the deck. It would probably take about twenty minutes to find my way back to civilization. If I am in my room and the ship hits a tropical island because Captain Stubing wants to make good time to Puerto Vallarta, I am pretty much going down with the ship. There is no making it out of this interior2 cabin in time.

I am walking ahead of a woman who is having trouble locating her intestinal cabin too, calling out to someone neither one of us can see. “Nigel, I’m over here! I think I found our room!” So it wasn’t just me, people. When I turn around to comment on the hallway confusion, she is gone. Poof. If a crazy, axe-wielding Jack Nicholson was chasing me through this maze of hallways, it would be super easy to lose him. And since neither of us could see Nigel, I wonder if he made it out alive.

By the time I find my cabin, I practically fall from exhaustion and weep with relief. I resemble a female Rip Van Winkle, as my chin hair is now down to my belly after the eventual escape from the black hole of hallways. Luggage isn’t here yet, but I do unpack my oversized carry-on so, you know, I could get a jump start on my unpacking. Now I only had 98.7% left to unpack, give or take. Math is hard. There is a bottle of Brut waiting for me, compliments of my travel agent, along with two champagne glasses (one for me, the other one for me). That damn bottle would sit in my fridge all week, waiting for a reason to get cracked open, but was ignored and subsequently forgotten about. My cabin steward Julio finds me and introduces himself and asks if I need a razor. This guy has a big smile. Every time I saw him all week, he had a huge grin for me. Either he is a super friendly guy, or he knows something evil about me. You decide. I’m going with friendly guy, though.

My interior2 cabin. Accommodations for the cheap.

UP NEXT:

DAY 1, part 2: THE SOCIAL REJECT

Good Morning! Also following! Hubby and I taking first RCCL cruise ever on the Allure in 28 days!

 

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Ooh, you snuck this in before I could post again. Good morning to you as well! I can promise you this about the Allure...you will never be bored. She is a wonder. Welcome to Royal!

Listen, I just want to thank everyone who is either reading in anonymity or who is reading and replying. Writing is my passion, cruising is my passion, and I love that I am able to share this with folks who appreciate both.

Working on the next installment...

Exactly the reason I’m here. Well and getting to read a great review. :)

Welcome! This trip report will feed your need for sarcasm.

Good morning, I kinda thought you'd be on the ship by now, but it had been quite enlightening. My wife is a solo cruiser. She's some where off the coast of Africa headed to the Azores. I think. 😉

 

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You would think I would be on the ship by now, wouldn't you? Ah, but the Queen of Digression has so much to say.

Wow! She's taking quite a trip! I would love to take a transatlantic cruise one day. Can you imagine the points I would earn? Holy cow.

Anyway, I am getting ready to post the next installment. The one when I actually am on the ship.

Really enjoying your report, great to have a thread to read where there are no flamers on board, just people ready to laugh.

Keep up the good work please.[emoji995]

 

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Part of me cringes when I post. Thus the disclaimer at the beginning: if sarcasm ain't your thing, leave immediately. Because this report was written VERY tongue-in-cheek.

Thanks for reading! :)

I hope there is room for one more follower in here. Enjoying the report.

We'll squeeze you in. Welcome. And thank you!

Sarcasm and innuendo is a very British trait, are you sure you are not from our shores :D

 

Great report, really enjoying it.

Although sarcasm and innuendo are what I do best (more to come, my friend), I am unfortunately very far from your land. Anyway, thanks for reading!

This Buckeye will certainly forgive you since you'd rather be somewhere else!

Oh, THAT'S why you regard my geography with such disdain. Ha ha. Well, as long as I'm forgiven...

And I am 52 of 4.

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I don't think you added correctly. Like, you're probably number 12 or something. In either case, welcome!

I'm also 47,but I look.... 40? I'm jealous.

 

I love your writing... Can you you please write my college papers over the next 5 weeks? Writing is my enemy...

 

And I can forgive the fact that you are from "that state up north", we can still be friends.

Hey, you're the author. You can make yourself look as young as you want!

That's a NO GO on the paper help, though, unless your college professors want papers written with dry wit.

Will I be even more forgiven if I tell you that, although I am born and raised in Michigan, I cannot stand the climate and open wish that I lived in Florida? I LOVE the heat.

I speak fluent sarcasm, and am enjoying the review. I'm 46, but look 64. (At least I feel that way sometimes.) I also love to sail solo! I love having the entire cabin to myself and doing whatever I want to do whenever I feel like doing it. Ironically, I cannot seem to master the flow rider. Why is this ironic you ask? (Okay you don't ask because you don't really care, but I'm going to tell you anyway.) I began performing in water-ski shows at six, and had three offers to ski professionally by the time I turned 16. This also explains the shock and embarrassment I felt at the fact that I was seasick on my first cruise. Anyway, I'm enjoying your sense of humor and your "sarcasm as a second language" writing style. So, put me down as reader number 11. Now that you're up in the double digits, you could seek sponsors and start plugging products. ;p

Sarcasm as a second language? Love it. Totally stealing your line because that is so me.

Impressive water sports history! And yes, it's a little strange that you got seasick, lol.

Up to 11 readers? That's almost twice the number I expected. Or three times. Math is hard.

I guess there is room for more :D

 

Riveted to the square brackets, so pls. count me in :cool:

Room for at least three more. Welcome to the...square bracket?

All of this is nice! Commented to follow. You're awesome. Just went on Allure this year and going on Oasis in January.

 

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Aw, shucks. Glad you're enjoying it so far. Did you like the Allure?

Add me to your reader list. No, I don't cruise solo, but reading this for my BIL who does.

 

Even thought this is a female point of view, I want to relay to him all the solo parties and get-to-gethers that Royal hosts for their single solo passengers.

 

He just asked me today if he can bring on wine for is captive ladies in waiting.....he doesn't drink. Don't worry, he's harmless!:halo:

 

BTW. where is the best place a single solo guy should hang to meet ladies over 50ish?

Well, I didn't attend too many solo events. In fact, I attended just one. Royal just isn't as solo-friendly as other lines like Norwegian, and the solo meets are not well attended. I find that most solos aren't necessarily single, or the ones that are will be difficult to find. I used to go with the thought that I might meet someone, but quickly realized that Royal's demographic doesn't support that very much. More couples and families than anything else. If he wants to bring wine, I think he is allowed one bottle? Maybe two? Gah, I am no good with that question.

Oh, to answer your question about where to meet women...that is a crapshoot. I found singles at the bar, at dinner, at the Windjammer. They're around, but it's about being at the right place at the right time.

Great start!!! Can’t wait to hear about rest of your trip

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Why, thank you.

Really enjoying this. Your writing is the bomb!! Do u write professionally ? We will be on Allure in Jan for first time. Can't wait to read your impressions of her.

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Ha. No, I do not write professionally. I am just a huge smart...butt. Anyway, thank you and I am glad you are enjoying it!

Nice

 

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Me or Wendy? Or the report? I'll assume report.

Following and already enjoying. Anxious for what to come.

I've been on that "Beast" in year 2011 and can't wait to revive those precious moments.

 

Thank you for this review.

I couldn't help but think, "Wow she's a beast" every time I saw her or had to walk aaaaalllllll the way to the other side of her. But wow, did I love her.

What's up with the inability to quote more than two people at a time? Grrrrr

You had me at sarcasm. I love Allure, I'm sure I'll enjoy the rest.

Hello Bill. Glad you stopped by. If you like sarcasm, well...there will be plenty.

This is so awesome!

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Thank you!

I suppose I do occasionally stay up for a longer run these days.. it's a lot of fun.

(ignore the voice over from my very kind and enthusiastic friend).

 

Please don't let me distract you from your review.. I"m eager for the rest!

WOW! Super impressive flowriding skills, woman! Your friend's commentary made me laugh.

I travel solo too and get exactly the same types of (unsolicited) comments - only from women, tho.

Sad that in this day in age, so many women still lack confidence to go it alone, and subsequently, lack the opportunity to have the entire closet and tiny cabin all to one's self!

Nevermind the ability to make all one's own decisions!

But you get it... so I look forward to the rest of the review.

Oh, I LOVE having the cabin all to myself. LOVE having the shower all to myself. LOVE playing my music, setting my own agenda, etc. etc. Cruising solo is da bomb and very, very empowering.

Looks like I’m number ten on the followers list. Best review I’ve read. Although I’m slightly biased, being a fellow Michigander and all. Looking forward to the rest of the story.

Hey Tillie, my Michigan friend. I'll take such a great compliment, regardless of the reason.

Thank you, and it is.. a brief shining moment of standing before I crashed into the .. what's under that stream of water anyway? Mat? Trampoline? The bedding I wish that Royal would put on the beds instead of the boards they must use under the mattress cover instead of padding?

 

I am a flowrider addict, and now that I think about it it must have to do with the amount of time I spend lying down on the very comfortable surface as the water pushes me up the hill to the drain at the top. It's like a shower and a nap, all at once. Very refreshing. Strongly recommended!

Guess I've been missing the opportunity for a nap/shower hybrid this whole time. So if you're an addict, surely you can stand longer than a moment by now?

I don't have an issue with the Royal beds. I sleep very well on them.

Oh I'm so following this review!! Thank you in advance for the rest!

Why, thank you Ethel. Hope you stick with it. Is that a pic of you standing on the Flowrider? Impressive!