I can only tell you what I do on overnight flights, but it works almost every time (and I fly longhaul internationally at least 2x roundtrips monthly, sometimes more):
Take the latest flight possible. On the day of my flight, I try to stay active, take a long run, drink lots of water. Basically anything to make me tired.
On the flight, I do have a few drinks with dinner. This allows me to get relaxed, and I understand it's against a lot of advice. But, I also drink a lot of water.
Try to sleep as much as possible on the plane, of course.
On arrival (again, as late as possible), keep going - don't rest, don't nap. Drink lots of water, keep active, get fresh air.
Late afternoon/early evening, I have a few drinks and a good dinner out. This puts me in a relaxed mood and allows me to start winding down.
Get as much sleep as possible. If you can sleep in the next day, great; if not, so be it. After these steps, I find myself pretty much accustomed to the time.