A Redneck's Review of an Alaskan Cruise- Part 3 (The Dark Side)

Well Hi Y'all; this is my final installment of my Alaskan Cruise to Alaska on the Statndam.

If you recall during my last review (Part Deux), I had just completed out tour of Homer, Alaska and now we are on to Kodiak, AK.

Kodiak: This was the port I had been waiting for. Cause now I was going to be able to tour the factory where my favorite dipping tobacco is processed, packaged and shipped; Kodiak Smokeless Tobacco :) ! We arrive at 8 AM and the weather was not nice; cloudy and rain; but what the heck; it was not going to stop me from going to the plant. I got off the boat and walked downtown; short distance from the port and went to the Visitors Center. I asked the rep how do I get to the Kodiak Tobacco Company. She said she had never heard of it ! I said What, you got to be kiddin. I said it is named for your town Kodiak. She replied, nope its not hear. Well does that beat all. What's a man to do. Well I toured the town came back to the boat with no free sample :(.

Sitka: Next stop on out cruise. When we arrived another rainy/cloudy day. Thelma decided to stay on the boat; I took the little boat to the port and just decided to walk around. It was a real nice place. A local man told me to walk a trial to the Tongass Rain Forest and you will see Totem Poles. Well that sounded interesting. By the way that's a funny name for a forest combining two words to form one but I better not go there or I might be thrown off the CC site. When I got to the Tongass Forest a couple asked me why is it called a Rain Forest. I said DUH, we are in the forest and it is raining ! It was a nice walk through the rain forest and half way through I saw my first totem pole. It was something. HAL's port guide was standing next to it. I asked her want the totem pole was for. She said it symbolizes or commemorates cultural beliefs that recount familiar legends, clan lineages or notable events. I said can you repeat that in English ! Oh well it was pretty.

Victoria: A final port. Thelma had arranged a HAL tour to Butcher Gardens. I had no idea what this was but hope to get a great steak for lunch. On the way to the Butchers our bus driving stated that we were passing through an area on town where all the streets were named "Woods". There's Elm Wood, Cedar Wood, Maple Wood, etc. I said is there a street named Tiger Woods. The bus driver said no at which time Thelma shouted, maybe there should be a street named "I Wish She Wood". The driver couldn't stop laughing and said he would use that one on his next tour. Well we got to Butcher Gardens and there were no steaks; just a bunch of pansies (flowers of course). It was beautiful but disappointed I didn't get that steak lunch. After the tour the bus driver dropped us off at Fisherman Whalf for a Happy Special on Oyster from 5 to 6 PM; let me be careful how I say this; $1 per oyster to shuck your own ! It was great !

Well that night we sailed back to Seattle. This was the darn best cruise I ever took !

"I'm Redneck Bob and I see like I tell it, I mean tell it like I see it"

Wonderful review....you'all did a good job!!

Thank you

I enjoyed your review.

That 14 day cruise is a wonderful one.

Loved your reports. That 14 day Alaskan cruise is the best.

In regard to Butcher Gardens, I can understand the frustration. I just went to see that movie about Giraffes, and there was not a single giraffe to be seen. Why in the world would they call it Giraffic World is beyond me. Just a bunch of dinosaurs. geez.

You could have had that steak at the Butcher gardens, but you had to order ahead of time! Next time, plan twice, eat steak once.:)

Awwwww. It's over! Thoroughly enjoyed your review. So refreshing. Thanks for taking the time. Now I have to find something else to read.............

Great review, thanks for your reports.

Thanks for posting your review.

Hope you sail again soon!

Thanks! Enjoyed reading it!

Thank you for your review!! Enjoyed!

Thanks for the complements ! I don't know where my mind is. Guess I was in a hurry to go quail huntin when I wrote this review. Forgot to put in a disclamier:

"This hear cruise review is based on mostly fact and not fiction and the names were changed to protect the innocent; that;s me and Thelma"

Totally enjoyed reading all THREE! Thanks for the fun! :D

Enjoyed all three of your reviews!! You are a hoot and have an amazing writing style. :D

Cheers, Denise

Thanks for the report. Keep Smiling!

Thanks for posting your review.

Hope you sail again soon!

You welcome !

Me and the Misses will be sailing in the Caribbean in December on the Westerdam to some of those erotic islands.

One of those islands we never have been to. Let's see if I can remember the name; I believe it's call Grand Turkey and K-Coast Island.

Thanks for your very entertaining reports. Very much enjoyed them and look forward to the next one.

Thanks for your very entertaining reports. Very much enjoyed them and look forward to the next one.

Thanks !