What to do about drinking age

[spenc]

I agree. My daughter loves being at college and we haven't had any problems at all. Her grades are great and she manages to pay her car payments, etc. on time without me reminding her. Like I said, she has friends who are home every weekend instead of enjoying this time to be on their own and dive into the whole college experience. This is a time that they will never have back.

[Warm Breezes]

Warm Breezes I am with you! When my daughter moved away for college, she knows how to function on a day to day basis independently. Two of her suite mates don't even know how to do a load of laundry and go home every weekend. We need to realize that we won't always be there and the best gift we can give them is independence.

 

I had a college room mate who partied every night. I never saw her studying. One night she called home to tell her parents she needed more money. When she hung up she told our other room mate, who was her party buddy, "the b***h is sending us some more money". I vowed I would never raise my kids to be like that.

 

My parents didn't pay for a dime of my college...I got straight A's in high school so I could get scholarships and grants and I worked 3 part time jobs so I could go to college. I studied hard and earned not only my BSBA, but went on to work full time and attend school at night to get my MBA. I was very independant at 18 and was not part of the "party" crowd. I encourage my children to have that same sense of responsibility, integrity, and independence. I would rather have them be able to make it on their own, than to depend on me to support them in adulthood.

[lebouefs]

Frank Zappa Titties and beer? :o god thats showing the age knowing that

 

 

Rodney Carrigton ....look it up

[laumicmah]

Well, my parents taught me responsibility and were very laid back with drinking, but I still went wild in my teens and early twenties. So I don't buy into that "if you never let your kids eat candy, they'll go hog wild and eat all they can when you aren't around" bit. Still, I think the OP's son can drink in Mexico if he has his own $ to pay for his drinks. It's really not the OP's decision. When my kids are 18, they can do whatever the law allows and they choose to do. I just won't be paying for it.

[Gablin]

I see nothing wrong with the OP asking opinions on the internet. She and her husband are the authorities on their son, but there is nothing wrong with reading the opinions of others. Maybe someone would provide some fresh insight not otherwise available to her.

 

One of my kids had her first alcohol in another country, without my being asked if it would be OK. She was 16 and staying with a host family whose custom was to provide wine at dinner for everyone there. The younger they were, the smaller the glass, similar to sizing their steak or dessert servings. So, for about ten weeks, she drank a small glass of wine almost every evening.

 

When she came home to the US, she was not served wine with dinner, except at Thanksgiving and Christmas, as our custom then was to have wine only for special occasions.

 

She did not go crazy at college and she offered her own (now grown) children champagne or other wine at holiday dinners since they were in their early teens. One of them no longer likes alcohol, but the other one has developed a fondness for beer.

 

To the OP: On the ship, I would stick to the ship rules and not purchase alcohol for someone underage. In port, I think it is customary to have a beer with lunch or for a late afternoon refreshment, if he wants it.

[scuabacruiser]

I believe the doggeral term for female mammaries is considered to be less than polite in it's usage.

 

Now you have started it. Cat people kicking DOGgerel terms around. The fur is going to fly now. :rolleyes::D

[big_duck]

Show of hands....who stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night?:rolleyes:

 

I just come back from a week at the Grand Sunset Princess* in Play Del Carmen, does that count?

 

 

 

*AKA Corona only Hell.

[Name Of The Game]

Would you be as accepting of your 18-year old smoking weed in the ports if that was legal as well? :rolleyes:

[LemurCat]

Would you be as accepting of your 18-year old smoking weed in the ports if that was legal as well? :rolleyes:

 

My father's a larger proponent of legalized marijuana than I am. Figure that one out.

[kyrisong1]

Rodney Carrigton ....look it up

Ok I looked it up? But still not sure what he has to do with Frank Zappa???? I wasn't a huge Zappa fan, my ex hubby was, I learned really well about the T&B song (keeping it initialed so I don't "offend" anyone else) because my son sang it to his kindergarten class, I got a call from the teacher, my ex was teaching our son this stuff!!! I wanted to die to tell you the truth.

I was a pretty liberal parent, and am still pretty liberal. My son on the other hand grew up to be a prude!!!:D Funny how that works out.

Cheers

[denred4]

18 year olds can get beer on the ship as well. My girls were so excited on our last cruise because they could drink legally. They behaved pretty well. They are more excited for this cruise because they are over 21 and can drink whatever they want!

I go by "when in Rome....." and so far have been ok!

[kyrisong1]

My father's a larger proponent of legalized marijuana than I am. Figure that one out.

funny how people have different ideas and feelings about things, individuality???? They throw one of the worse things they know out there and your like pfffffffffttttt my parents are all about that.

Now lets talk bashing baby seals for skins????? :mad: That about burns me up!!!!

[SuperCoolOne]

At 18, I took the opportunity to travel in college without parents (studying abroad).

 

The profs in charge of the group brought us Sangria with dinner on the first night.

 

I can't tell you how many 18 year olds in the group went nuts with the drinking. There were a handful of us who did not because we had exposure to alcohol already (me through having small servings of wine at family dinners) but who still enjoyed a drink or two.

 

At 18, your son should be smart enough to understand that there are legal differences between different countries and what is allowed at one place is not allowed at home.

[tsb702]

These are my thoughts on the subject

They may come across as harsh but not meant to be. (lack of voice inflection and facial expression)

 

- Your 18 YO son is no longer your little boy. He's a young man.

- You have already done everything in your power to set his responsibility level in his earlier years.

- You set that level by your own actions that he observed from mom and dad

- At 18, he's most likely already had a drink or 2 with his friends. He might be able to out drink you.

- This is a perfect time to have a drink or 2 with your son. Not as mom and dad and son, but as lifelong friends. Have a drink and open up, talk about anything and everything. Once again, NOT as parents telling or advising son what to do or where to do it, but as friends.

- I know he'll always be your little boy, but I can't emphasize enough, he's now a man. Treat him as such.

 

I second that! I understand where your concern comes in, but the sooner you understand that he is his own person and needs to experiences and learn for himself, the better off you will be. Period. You are prohibiting his growth in a way. I am the oldest of 5, we all grew up in Vegas, we all drank prior to being 18, we are all successful and were raised by very successful parents. I thank my parents all the time for letting me discover what worked for me and what didn't, with a close eye of course. It made me the RESPONSIBLE adult I am today. You have to learn lessons...you can't be responsible if someone is living your life for you. Hope that helps doll

[Warm Breezes]

Would you be as accepting of your 18-year old smoking weed in the ports if that was legal as well? :rolleyes:

 

If you brought your child up to make common sense, responsible decisions then you wouldn't have to worry about this. It's not a matter of accepting what they do, it's a matter of bringing them up to make independant choices using common sense and being responsible for all the choices they make good or bad. Face it, at 18 they are adults and they are going to make choices with out asking your permission. I would rather they make well-balanced thought out decisions on their own than have them ask me my permission for everything they ran across. If they make mistakes I expect them to own up to them and take responsibility for their actions. Don't get me wrong. I will still give them my opinions, still be their for support but I will not be a push-over, bail-out parent who has to hand-hold their child through out adulthood. I've got brothers who never grew up and learned how to responsible because my mother is still bailing them out at 36 and 40. I refuse to enable my children to be like that.

[kyrisong1]

18 year olds can get beer on the ship as well. My girls were so excited on our last cruise because they could drink legally. They behaved pretty well. They are more excited for this cruise because they are over 21 and can drink whatever they want!

I go by "when in Rome....." and so far have been ok!

You know I seriously doubt that anyones kid is going to turn into a raging alcoholic by having a few beers on the ship, or margaritas in port.

I agree, when in Rome.......... and bet those kids are panhandling for quarters to buy cheap wine on the streetcorner.;)

[Name Of The Game]

18 year olds can get beer on the ship as well.

 

Not on Carnival.

[LemurCat]

funny how people have different ideas and feelings about things, individuality????

 

I know, right? It's almost like they think for themselves or something!

 

They throw one of the worse things they know out there and your like pfffffffffttttt my parents are all about that.

 

I was actually hoping for a segue into more "Lemur's family is craaaaaazy" stories, actually.

 

Now lets talk bashing baby seals for skins????? :mad: That about burns me up!!!!

 

Those seals had it coming. They were just asking for it, what with their skins so soft, warm, and and valuable. They were just getting what they deserved.

[big_duck]

18 year olds can get beer on the ship as well.

 

Not "legally" on Carnival.

[stargate fan]

We are taking my 18 year old on his first cruise in October. So... my question is, do you let your kids drink in Mexico? We know the age on the ship is 21. But, my dh and me have differing opinions about letting him drink in Mexico. My dh feels that it may teach him about responsible, social drinking... having 1 or 2 drinks during the day and not needing to get drunk. I am not really sure what to think... I don't want him to think that drinking is okay with us when we get home since legal age is 21. What do you all think? I am probably opening myself up here to LOTS of opinions. Not trying to start a fight.

 

Our sons were 20 and 18 on our last family cruise. We did allow them to drink on the islands because the drinking age was 18. They were not allowed alcohol on the ship, though, because of the age rule.

 

They knew about drinking and alcohol well before we started cruising as a family. My husband and I are not big drinkers, so they have good examples in us. The other 18-20 year olds in our group cruise went a little overboard in drinking on Cozumel. While our boys are not prudes and certainly not perfect, they saw their friends act like fools and waste their money, so they just hung around with each other.

 

They also knew what wine tastes like because of our religious practices (If you can call Manischewich wine :rolleyes:), so there was no mystery.

 

Ultimately, it's a decision that your family has to make together and be comfortable with.

[kyrisong1]

I know, right? It's almost like they think for themselves or something!

 

 

 

I was actually hoping for a segue into more "Lemur's family is craaaaaazy" stories, actually.

 

 

 

Those seals had it coming. They were just asking for it, what with their skins so soft, warm, and and valuable. They were just getting what they deserved.

You are so freaking bad:p;)

And believe me almost everyones family is craaaaaaaaaazy, but somehow people grow up and contribute to society!! Amazing that.

:rolleyes:

[LemurCat]

You are so freaking bad:p;)

And believe me almost everyones family is craaaaaaaaaazy, but somehow people grow up and contribute to society!! Amazing that.

:rolleyes:

 

Or they move to a mountainside in Vermont and start a "hydroponic grow" operation. ;)

[vladdyfan]

We are taking my 18 year old on his first cruise in October. So... my question is, do you let your kids drink in Mexico? We know the age on the ship is 21. But, my dh and me have differing opinions about letting him drink in Mexico. My dh feels that it may teach him about responsible, social drinking... having 1 or 2 drinks during the day and not needing to get drunk. I am not really sure what to think... I don't want him to think that drinking is okay with us when we get home since legal age is 21. What do you all think? I am probably opening myself up here to LOTS of opinions. Not trying to start a fight.

when i graduated HS(many moons ago LOL) 3 of my friends & i went to Hawaii for our senior trip. drinking age was 21 in cali...18 in Hawaii at that time(as I said..it was a LONG time ago..hahaha). As soon as we were up in the air on the plane and we able to we were drinking .Why not? We were of legal age. In Hawaii we all went out to nightclubs, bars etc bc we were of legal age.(that was a FUN trip). We didn't do anything too crazy and had a blast.

We were all !8..legally adults..still lived at home but none of our parents told us not to drink on our trip because in Cali you had to be 21.Now we all had good parents...they just told us to be careful but didn't have a problem letting us travel on our own because we were legally adults. i'm sure they worried some because it was our first time on a trip without parents. The high school had sent a couple" chaperones " but we were basically on our own.We were fine.

So..if it were me...I would let my son who was of legal age in the country he was visiting to drink there. He will be with you so you can keep an eye out on him. When he gets back to states then the legal age is 21 so if he wants to drink here tell him ...sorry gotta be 21 here.

 

Sometimes the laws don't make sense. at 18 you can vote, serve your country etc. and are legally an adult but can't drink or gamble. Here in Cali you only have to be 18 to gamble at Indian Casinos but can't gamble in Vegas etc.

 

Ultimately it your decision though...just my 2 cents:)

[kyrisong1]

Or they move to a mountainside in Vermont and start a "hydroponic grow" operation. ;)

I thought they moved to Montana and raised up a dental floss farm.........jeeze I got Frankie Z on the brain today:rolleyes:

[kyrisong1]

when i graduated HS(many moons ago LOL) 3 of my friends & i went to Hawaii for our senior trip. drinking age was 21 in cali...18 in Hawaii at that time(as I said..it was a LONG time ago..hahaha). As soon as we were up in the air on the plane and we able to we were drinking .Why not? We were of legal age. In Hawaii we all went out to nightclubs, bars etc bc we were of legal age.(that was a FUN trip). We didn't do anything too crazy and had a blast.

We were all !8..legally adults..still lived at home but none of our parents told us not to drink on our trip because in Cali you had to be 21.Now we all had good parents...they just told us to be careful but didn't have a problem letting us travel on our own because we were legally adults. i'm sure they worried some because it was our first time on a trip without parents. The high school had sent a couple" chaperones " but we were basically on our own.We were fine.

So..if it were me...I would let my son who was of legal age in the country he was visiting to drink there. He will be with you so you can keep an eye out on him. When he gets back to states then the legal age is 21 so if he wants to drink here tell him ...sorry gotta be 21 here.

 

Sometimes the laws don't make sense. at 18 you can vote, serve your country etc. and are legally an adult but can't drink or gamble. Here in Cali you only have to be 18 to gamble at Indian Casinos but can't gamble in Vegas etc.

 

Ultimately it your decision though...just my 2 cents:)

My God you could have fallen into a volcano!!! JK:D;)