To Invite Or Not To Invite? Need Advice...

[StlGal]

We were married on a cruise, and had our friends and families with us. Since then, many of our friends have asked us to tell them when we're cruising again, as they would like to go with us. We would love to have our friends join us, but we don't necessarily want their children to join us. Please don't judge, but we just prefer to cruise without children.

 

We are currently booked on Allure in May 2012, and would like to invite our ADULT friends join us. But how do we invite them, and ask them not to bring along their children without offending anyone? Or do we just not tell them and avoid the situation all together and just keep sailing alone? :confused:

[Ashland]

Either go alone (which I would do) or tell them it's a couples only cruise..However even that statement will not assure you they won't bring the kids..As some especially if it's family will say "But you can't mean my children"...By then it will be out of your control...Enjoy whatever you decide !!!

[bonnie&clydecruzers]

Inviting adult friends along WITHOUT their kids is a difficult subject. Do you know them good enough to just ask them about a cruise with just adults? Maybe you can bring up the subject in a casual conversation. Another question is what will they do with their kids when they are gone 7+ days?

 

However I wouldn't not just tell them, that would be rude. I do think that you can tell them that we as a married couple would like to go on a cruise just by ourselves to enjoy each others company only. If they are good friends they will respect your decision.

 

IMHO, cruising with you significant other is ALOT different than cruising with family and friends. We personally LOVE cruising alone as a couple. Plus it gives you the opportunity to meet NEW friends on board.

[endymion6942]

I would go alone if you want your friends to travel without thier families.

The cost of the cruise aside, it will be a hassle for them to make sure their offspring are taken care of the week they would be gone.

[Bobal]

Before we had kids we would have definitely not wanted to cruise with other people's kids (even our nieces/nephews/godkids). There will be time enough for family cruises in the future ;)

 

I would say just go it alone. You can say it's a couples only cruise but you don't want to open up a 'but surely my kids can come' scenario. Unless you have friends who have guaranteed childcare and would appreciate time without kids then just go alone

[Gablin]

If you plan other things with these couples, do they always bring the children along? If so, they certainly would bring them on a cruise. The ship will have a children's program that will keep them pretty busy, but you would probably still have some time with your friends' children.

 

You could have a good time anyway, even if your friends brought their children along. You might deliberately choose different shore excursions from the child-friendly ones, eat breakfast and lunch later in the day, in the dining room rather than casual restaurant, etc.

 

Most people with young children will not choose late dining and will not choose to take them to the extra-cost restaurants. You could make your choices accordingly.

 

There will be children on your cruise anyway, whether your friends go with you or not. Those children will be strangers to you, but there is no guarantee that they won't disrupt your day in some way. I have not seen it often, but I have experienced gangs of ten year olds playing with the elevators, small children crying on deck or in a restaurant, children running races down the hallways, etc. It's not hard to ignore, if you don't know them. ;)

[dirtgirl]

Boy, I had enough trouble inviting couples over to my house for an evening get-together without their kids!:rolleyes: My kids were teens, and basically left us alone, but I didn't want the younger whiny, clingy ones that want and demand to be the center of attention constantly. It was like the sky had fallen (of course, I didn't word it like that). I knew the kids and knew what they were like. I thought an evening of adult conversation would be appreciated by all. Apparently not!:rolleyes:

 

So I think you'd have a devil of a time trying to organize a cruise without people wanting to bring their kids! Plus, not everyone has someone that they can leave the kids with for a week.;) We sure don't.

[Bothofus]

I think it depends on how well you know the other couples.

 

There's another thread on here about people inviting other people, which you have no control over, so I doubt there's a way to ensure you end up without children in your group.....unless you go by yourselves.

 

Rachel

[marci22]

You're newlyweds and you don't appreciate other peoples' kids but in 15 years, you will have a few kids and your friends' kids will be off to college and they will not want to cruise with you. So either go alone or have tolerance for their kids.

[calmpets]

Unfortunately most people are heartily offended when you imply their children aren't welcome, regardless of the reason. I think no matter how delicately you phrase it, at least a few of your friends will be bitter about it. Personally I would skip the invites to avoid creating the problem altogether.

[marym933]

I say go by yourself and don't say a word. Unless you are paying for their cruise, there is really nothing you can do. Royal Caribbean are public ships. If your friends want to book and pay for a cruise, including everyone in their family, RCCL will happily take their money!

[John Henry on CC]

We were married on a cruise, and had our friends and families with us. Since then, many of our friends have asked us to tell them when we're cruising again, as they would like to go with us. We would love to have our friends join us, but we don't necessarily want their children to join us. Please don't judge, but we just prefer to cruise without children.

 

We are currently booked on Allure in May 2012, and would like to invite our ADULT friends join us. But how do we invite them, and ask them not to bring along their children without offending anyone? Or do we just not tell them and avoid the situation all together and just keep sailing alone? :confused:

"Hey, we have been thinking the same thing! It would be great to sail together again. We're booking a cruise on the Allure in 2012 and would love to have you come if you are willing to leave the kids at home. We certainly understand if you can't do that, but we thought that we would invite you and let you decide for yourselves."

[mlk58]

Problem with that once people know when you're going, there's no way to keep them from booking the cruise with their kids. If you think your friends might do that, and having kids along is a deal-breaker for you (Oh! The horror!), then I don't think you have any choice but to keep the trip to yourselves until you get home.

[COMBOY]

There simply isn't an easy way to invite the adults w/o inviting their offspring too. Again, I don't know if any of these people ever travel without their kids or they do any "adult's only" things. If not...well; I think you're better off just going it alone and not mentioning it to anyone especially since you feel so strongly against cruising with kids. Stating couples only or no children, etc. just might offend some folks. Why start any problems?

[dutchess43]

I wouldn't say a word & just go yourselves. Keep in mind that Allure is geared for families so there will be lots of kids on this ship.

[bigedwin]

Hello

My Vote is go By yourselves and Do not wait until May 2012.

Go Sooner!

You never know you might joing the group with Children by May 2012...

 

Big Ed

[Adri204]

I dont know how you could limit them from bringing kids on the cruise. If you do invite them just be prepared that they might bring kids, grammas, uncles, aunts, friends twice removed, etc etc :).

 

Hey actually if you do this right large groups can get one person free and that could be you lol.

 

Adri

[MarkSeattle]

This thread is disturbing ;) I'm not *that* old, and I clearly remember my parents going on trips and to parties that were adult only, vs. family. It wasn't a big deal. I think it's just sad that apparently that can't happen anymore without offending everyone.

 

It should just be a simple matter of saying either you're going but want to go alone for some couple time; or you'd be happy if friends wanted to come to, but you want adults-only, don't want a kid/family cruise this year. Now instead everyone says to lie about what you're doing or not tell anyone. How is this better...

[InsideCruiser]

Offer $100 OBC for each child left at home. :p

[onefishtwofish]

Tough one, but I would say if you have the opening to say it, say something like "we've been thinking about doing a couples cruise on Allure"..that will clue your friends onto the fact that it's couples only and being on Allure, cost alone may allieviate bringing everyone anyway.....;)

[temple1]

Couple of thoughts - I think going on a couples cruise on Oasis or Allure is like doing an adults only Disney World vacation. It can be done, but they little ones are always around.

 

Some have given pointers on how to avoid your friends children as much as possible. But the fact remains, when you are traveling with children you have a very differfent vacation and focus than when traveling alone.

 

I think you might tell your friends you are going, but it is a 2nd honeymoon for you. If they decide to go on the cruise - just keep your interests as separate as possible and just meet up from time to time.

[debates2]

Are you paying for your guests? If so, it's your privilege and they should be grateful for the free trip.

[BroncosFan2010]

Offer $100 OBC for each child left at home. :p

 

 

LOL If only that would work!

 

My advice, cruise by yourself at least once. Then, if you want to invite others, go for it. DH and I always have more fun when cruising by ourselves. We make friends on the roll-call boards and have some people to do activities with on the ship.

[Bella1031]

We are a young married couple ourselves with no children yet...planning on it soon though. All of our friends have children and we adore them but we LOVE to cruise and while we don't have any children right now we are really enjoying our "Us" time so I can appreciate your thoughts. Like other people have said, it really all depends on how well you know your friends. All of our friends have made comments at times that they would love to go away without the kids (usually its right before we are leaving to go somewhere ;)) and knowing that, we wouldn't hesitate to offer a couples only cruise to them b/c we know most would jump on it. BUT only you know your friends and I know I wouldn't want to offend ours either. Just make a judgement call based on your friends. Say something casually like, "Hey, wouldn't it be nice to go on a couple only cruise?" or something like that to get the conversation started. You can feel out their reactions and take it from there.

Good luck! :)

[Marie51]

You didn't say if you paid for people to come on the cruise for your wedding. Did they bring children on that trip??

Sometimes people say "let me know when you are going" and then if you actually told them, they would not go because of cost, can't get time off work, or they could not find anyone to leave their children with.