WHAT TO DO? Spouse Doesn't Want To Go On Paid For Cruise

[wizard-of-roz]

Princess no longer provides a wheelchair onboard except in the case of an emergency. So, if you feel you will need one and do not own one, arrange in advance to rent one for the duration of the cruise.

 

(As mentioned earlier, they will provide wheelchair assistance for first day embarkation and last day disembarkation.)

 

He has his own wheelchair. It remains in the back of our SUV. I purchased it after an Oosterdam cruise where we had driven down to San Diego, to stay in a hotel and the day before the cruise he could not walk. The concierge at the hotel found a rental company, on a Sunday, and they delivered the chair to the hotel. Great service. I remember tipping her a lot for truly going out of her way.

 

I decided then that we should have our own chair [just in case!] It's come in handy on more than one occasion since then.

[greatam]

What you have stated is what we as consumers would like, having paid for two people, then if only one sails there should be no additional charge.

 

However, that is not the way it works at Princess (do not know about other lines).

a) Princess says that insurance should be purchased to take care of situations like this. (And it is available for stable pre-existing conditions if purchased around the time of booking the cruise from either Princess or an independent provider.)

b) With the proper insurance (all policies are not the same), if documented illness prevents one of the party from traveling, then Princess keeps that person's payment and insurance will refund the insured amount to that non-traveling passenger.

c) Since the remaining person traveling is now traveling solo, Princess will charge that passenger the single passenger supplement. With the proper insurance (all policies are not the same), the insurance would reimburse the traveler for that expense.

 

Result is that Princess in effect gets three fares for one traveler. With the proper insurance, the originally booked couple will only pay for one fare, the fare covering the person that did travel. The proper insurance would pay for the non-traveling party's fare and for the single supplement.

 

Does it sound reasonable to us that Princess ends up with three fares for one person traveling? No. But is that the way it could happen? Yes.

 

So you are telling me that if I go on the Diamond Princess in a week minus DH that I may have to pay more?? This is NOT what Princess Special Services Dept is telling me in the least (and I have had to deal with them extensively for this cruise, as we are disembarking the ship in Russia, 6 days before the end of the cruise.)

 

Or are you stating that if you cancel IN ADVANCE (not that one of the people just don't show up on the day of the cruise) you may be re-fared??? THAT I understand.

 

I do not understand being re-fared on the day of the cruise-what happens if the second person missed the plane, had a panic attack going to the port (just happened on JetBlue) or anything similar but could easily join the cruise at the next port? So the person who gets on the cruise at embarkation pays for two by being re-fared as a solo but the second person joins in a couple of days. That would really be unfair

[onthelake]

Same thing if I go solo from Whittier to Vladivostak in a week and DH flies to Vladivostak . DH is truly freaked out by the bombardment of emails from Princess about these d*** Russian visas. We have paid for two people IN FULL ( in very early June). I have been in constant contact with Princess just in case DH bails at the last minute. I MAY get a few dollars back in taxes if I go by myself. I expect no more.

 

Sorry to go off topic but you had a thread going on this - We did this cruise 2 years ago and boarded in Vancouver. No one checked for visas on boarding (we had to have the Chinese since we were going through to Bangkok). I know you have been trying to work with Princess but at the same time, Russian visas are not required for Vladivostok, you only need one to get off fof the cruise for the train and that will be up to Russian authorities, not Princess. I hope your husband joins you and can relax. Actually, if crossing the Bering Sea, he better relax, that is all there is to do! We enjoyed, hope you will too.

[billie5]

Grandam, what a great trip you are planning. Wish I could come.:) I assume you both have Chinese visas, just in case the cruise has to skip Vladivostok for one reason or another -- I guess Princess would not even let you board without them. I completely agree with your view of the matter; I would ignore Princess's supposed (and perhaps artificial) concern. Shame on them.

 

OP, I appreciate DH's stubbornness on doing things himself. It is part of our male psyche, I am afraid: a man has to be a man. I can also understand how his physical problems have left him hesitant to leave, but I do hope he feels up to joining you on the cruise. Good for you for going on your own, if necessary. I am sure you will have a ball.

 

What I do not understand is individuals who voluntarily choose not to accompany their spouses because they do not feel like it. What ever happened to taking vacations in order to give joy to your spouse? Or your family? I feel sorry for individuals in relationships where self-interest seems to be more important than the interest of one's partner. How much pleasure these people are going to miss.

 

Bill

[hansi]

Please do not cancel to cruise by yourself. You would then be charged a single s supplement of 30-50% or more. A good policy will pay off his portion and you are already paid for. Just continue on by yourself.

 

No insurance company would accept a claim for disinclination to travel!

[wizard-of-roz]

Grandam, what a great trip you are planning. Wish I could come.:) I assume you both have Chinese visas, just in case the cruise has to skip Vladivostok for one reason or another -- I guess Princess would not even let you board without them. I completely agree with your view of the matter; I would ignore Princess's supposed (and perhaps artificial) concern. Shame on them.

 

OP, I appreciate DH's stubbornness on doing things himself. It is part of our male psyche, I am afraid: a man has to be a man. I can also understand how his physical problems have left him hesitant to leave, but I do hope he feels up to joining you on the cruise. Good for you for going on your own, if necessary. I am sure you will have a ball.

 

What I do not understand is individuals who voluntarily choose not to accompany their spouses because they do not feel like it. What ever happened to taking vacations in order to give joy to your spouse? Or your family? I feel sorry for individuals in relationships where self-interest seems to be more important than the interest of one's partner. How much pleasure these people are going to miss.

 

Bill

 

Bill, so well said. I think the pain and exhaustion that he feels after the preparation and the changing of his "normal" schedule for his medication/eating and sleeping schedule is just too much for his psyche to handle.

 

What you say about the person who doesn't get joy from the pleasures of his spouse and family rings so, so true. I used to internalize his reject of travel [especially most recently] because when he was younger he loved to "go and do". I don't take it as personal anymore.

 

I see him in pain and witness his inability to do the things he used to do with such ferver. Even getting off a sofa or out of a booth in a restaurant can be monumental for him. On many occasions we've had to ask for assitance or other people have come to his aid in getting up. I'm sure that, over time, this has effected his pysche too. It stings my eyes to relate some of this to you. Thanks for listening!

 

When we marry, we make a promise to each other, "for better or for worse", I'm a believer in keeping promises made!

[DrivesLikeMario]

If you do go on your own, enjoy yourself! I'm taking my first cruise by myself soon too. I think your DH just wants some space. You probably need the break from him too.

 

My DH can't miss work and his heart wouldn't be in the cruise even if he could get the time off. I think your DH is in the same boat in a way - his heart wouldn't be in it, so just let him have his peace & quiet at home. You go and enjoy yourself and do not feel guilty!

 

Although you'd enjoy being with him, it might be what both of you need at this particular time. Bon voyage!

[wizard-of-roz]

If you do go on your own, enjoy yourself! I'm taking my first cruise by myself soon too. I think your DH just wants some space. You probably need the break from him too.

 

My DH can't miss work and his heart wouldn't be in the cruise even if he could get the time off. I think your DH is in the same boat in a way - his heart wouldn't be in it, so just let him have his peace & quiet at home. You go and enjoy yourself and do not feel guilty!

 

Although you'd enjoy being with him, it might be what both of you need at this particular time. Bon voyage!

 

Thank you. I've read your kind words....so, why am I tearful? You have struck a nerve and I know you're right. But, I'm still hopeful that even if he stays in the cabin and rests more than he's out and about-he's still "there" with me.

 

And, you're very smart and intuitive....I do feel guilty.

[happy cruzer]

So a few of you are saying, that if you book a cruise with a friend and they decide at the last minute to no show, you can be charged more???

 

I'm not seeing this...

 

Explain how you can have to pay more because someone else disappears?

[anonymousegirl]

Cruise lines are not making the big profits off the sale of the stateroom, they are making the big bucks from ON-BOARD spending. And when only one person occupies a stateroom meant for two people that is a loss of profit. Right or wrong, cruise lines thinks that two people spend more than one person ( although I can certainly spend enough for two--ask my DH!)

 

One person might not splurge for speciality dining; only one shore excursion per port, not two; fewer alcoholic drinks, bottles of wine, etc.

[anonymousegirl]

Grandam, what a great trip you are planning. Wish I could come.:) I assume you both have Chinese visas, just in case the cruise has to skip Vladivostok for one reason or another -- I guess Princess would not even let you board without them. I completely agree with your view of the matter; I would ignore Princess's supposed (and perhaps artificial) concern. Shame on them.

 

OP, I appreciate DH's stubbornness on doing things himself. It is part of our male psyche, I am afraid: a man has to be a man. I can also understand how his physical problems have left him hesitant to leave, but I do hope he feels up to joining you on the cruise. Good for you for going on your own, if necessary. I am sure you will have a ball.

 

What I do not understand is individuals who voluntarily choose not to accompany their spouses because they do not feel like it. What ever happened to taking vacations in order to give joy to your spouse? Or your family? I feel sorry for individuals in relationships where self-interest seems to be more important than the interest of one's partner. How much pleasure these people are going to miss.

 

Bill

 

Bill, I respectfully disagree. My husband and I have been together for 25 years and we sometimes do go on vacation without each other.

 

I don't ski, DH does. He got an invite to St. Moritz from some university friends and I chose not to go (had done a ski school in Austria the year before and it was a huge failure). He had a blast and I was not bored sitting around the ski chalet waiting for him.

 

I love going to Disneyland/World. DH does not. Should I "make" him go somewhere he has no interest just to accompany me? I go alone, and meet some great people in line or at restaurants.

 

Our way may not work for everyone, but if both people are honest and respectful of each other, an occasional separate vacation can work out just fine.

[mytime53]

 

Our way may not work for everyone, but if both people are honest and respectful of each other, an occasional separate vacation can work out just fine.

 

I agree. I rarely take a trip without my husband...I prefer not to. But I can have fun with other people, too. And usually, I end up returning to those places, but with my husband the second time.

 

The last thing I want to do is have a spouse along who isn't having fun.

 

The next-to-the last thing I want to do, is to not do the things I've longed to do because he wouldn't enjoy them.

 

Rolls Royce Lover: no matter what the 2 of you end up doing, my wish for both of you is that you have a good time, whether it be alone or together.

[wizard-of-roz]

I agree. I rarely take a trip without my husband...I prefer not to. But I can have fun with other people, too. And usually, I end up returning to those places, but with my husband the second time.

 

The last thing I want to do is have a spouse along who isn't having fun.

 

The next-to-the last thing I want to do, is to not do the things I've longed to do because he wouldn't enjoy them.

 

Rolls Royce Lover: no matter what the 2 of you end up doing, my wish for both of you is that you have a good time, whether it be alone or together.

 

Lovely warm wishes, thank you.

[Umbarger]

What I do not understand is individuals who voluntarily choose not to accompany their spouses because they do not feel like it. What ever happened to taking vacations in order to give joy to your spouse? Or your family? I feel sorry for individuals in relationships where self-interest seems to be more important than the interest of one's partner. How much pleasure these people are going to miss.

 

Bill

 

Wow! Unfortunately, you have just described my spouse.

 

I agree because couples should compromise. I would go to give joy to my spouse. However, I am a woman. I think self-interest is more of a male thing. At least in my husbands case. :o

 

However, in the this case hubby is not well and that makes a big difference.

 

Rolls Royce, Whatever happens I wish you a wonderful, happy cruise and hope you meet loads of nice people.

[UtterCaro]

What I do not understand is individuals who voluntarily choose not to accompany their spouses because they do not feel like it. What ever happened to taking vacations in order to give joy to your spouse? Or your family? I feel sorry for individuals in relationships where self-interest seems to be more important than the interest of one's partner. How much pleasure these people are going to miss.

 

As a happily married solo cruiser, I can assure you that the pleasure my spouse and I derive from separate vacations is thoroughly shared when we get home. ;)

 

Caro

[morriscats]

So a few of you are saying, that if you book a cruise with a friend and they decide at the last minute to no show, you can be charged more???

 

I'm not seeing this...

 

Explain how you can have to pay more because someone else disappears?

This almost happend to us. My DS and his GF booked with us. They broke up. They didn't have insurance (which would not applied anyway). Her fare would have been kept and DS would have been charged as a solo passenger, paying almost double. Luckily they made up and she was able to go. As he had paid for her fare too, he would have paid 3 times.

[wizard-of-roz]

Wow! Unfortunately, you have just described my spouse.

 

I agree because couples should compromise. I would go to give joy to my spouse. However, I am a woman. I think self-interest is more of a male thing. At least in my husbands case. :o

 

However, in the this case hubby is not well and that makes a big difference.

 

Rolls Royce, Whatever happens I wish you a wonderful, happy cruise and hope you meet loads of nice people.

 

One of the very reasons why I like cruising so much is that you are held captive [with at least 2000+ other folks] for at least one week [i prefer one week or more cruising] and, you get to know a lot of them and get to feel a sense of friendship and sharing that can't be had on any other vacation venue.

 

Thank you for your kind wishes.

[donna5]

Grandam, what a great trip you are planning. Wish I could come.:)

 

What I do not understand is individuals who voluntarily choose not to accompany their spouses because they do not feel like it. What ever happened to taking vacations in order to give joy to your spouse? Or your family? I feel sorry for individuals in relationships where self-interest seems to be more important than the interest of one's partner. How much pleasure these people are going to miss.

 

Bill

 

I don't feel we have a right to judge anyones marriage. People have a limited amount of vacation time and should be allowed to do as they please. Yes it is nice to have my spouse with me on vacations and other functions, but if he really did not want to go or I did not want to go somewhere, then we would understand. The only vacation I have taken without DH was when my Mom and I took a cruise there were many times I wished he was with me to share. But he thought it would be good for Mom and I to just go together.

[wizard-of-roz]

I don't feel we have a right to judge anyones marriage. People have a limited amount of vacation time and should be allowed to do as they please. Yes it is nice to have my spouse with me on vacations and other functions, but if he really did not want to go or I did not want to go somewhere, then we would understand. The only vacation I have taken without DH was when my Mom and I took a cruise there were many times I wished he was with me to share. But he thought it would be good for Mom and I to just go together.

 

I, too, have shared some great memories with my Mother onboard a cruise. She was very reluctant to go but was so glad once she was onboard.

 

I didn't take offense to Bill's commentary. I actually found it to be very uplifting. A bit of an eye-opener in regard to how some people can be selfish in their motivations in not doing one thing or another with each other but an honest appraisal [from his point of view!]

[wizard-of-roz]

It's a new day! I have not spoken of the cruise and simply am going about my days as normal.

 

DH and I went to dinner tonight and he said......"I'm not going to bring a suit along on the cruise, I just want to do nothing. I want to eat, lay in the shade, listen to good music and rest!"

 

Inside I was screaming, "YES, YES, YES!!!!!" On the outside I said, "I'm just happy to have you along, please do whatever makes you comfortable!"

 

Between you and I, I'm so glad that he's "onboard" with me! There are no guarantee's in this life and as long as he's in mine, I want to spend time with him. He's a good guy and I've been with him longer than I've been with anyone else in my life.

 

Again, thank you for all the feedback and wonderful ideas. You're a great group to turn to in time of need!!! :)

[Aussie Gal]

Rolls Royce Lover,

 

I have been following this topic from the beginning and am so glad that your DH has decided without you nagging him to go along with you on the cruise. I hope you both have wonderful time and make the most of being together as we all have a use by date and unfortunately, we don't know when that will be.

 

Jennie

[wizard-of-roz]

Rolls Royce Lover,

 

I have been following this topic from the beginning and am so glad that your DH has decided without you nagging him to go along with you on the cruise. I hope you both have wonderful time and make the most of being together as we all have a use by date and unfortunately, we don't know when that will be.

 

Jennie

 

Jennie, thank you. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed and I'm saying prayers that he will be well and ready to enjoy this time with me.

 

I love it when we "women" use our wise and gentle side and things just seem to work out more in our favor...getting tough on this one was just not going to work! ;)

[UtterCaro]

I'm so glad that he's "onboard" with me!

 

Glad to hear it worked out so well. Enjoy your cruise!

 

Caro

[mytime53]

Great news...you must have felt fantastic when he said that. I'm so happy for you!

[Talisker92]

Dear RR Lover,

We are sooo thrilled that he is going! I can understand a little of his reluctance. My late wife was brain injured, but we managed to cruise. It was the best of two worlds for us. She could stay on board and be safe, and I could get some respite from caring for her.

On our last cruise before she passed away, I took a wheelchair and walker for her and she managed quite well.