Would it scare you to go into port leaving the kids behind?

[chipmaster]

A very personal decision IMHO. Each parent will rationalize it their own way and no amount of "opinions" or values of others will likely sway some, and others that are on the fence know what they want to do versus what their heart may say otherwise, just like should I take my kids out of school ;)

 

I think those that are most worried are likely the ones least likely to miss the boat, and those that think nothing, well those are likely the happy go lucky don't worry and well you know what happens to those in port :D

 

I don't think I could do it. I would be too afraid something would happen? What do they do if the child's parent(s) are not back on board?? What would you do if that happens?

[WeatherGeek]

I personally wouldn't be able to do it, but my daughter has some special needs. If she didn't, I might venture into the area next to the port, but I would not go farther than that because I would probably want to check on her! I'm a worry wart, special needs or not!

[Maryscooking]

A very personal decision IMHO. Each parent will rationalize it their own way and no amount of "opinions" or values of others will likely sway some, and others that are on the fence know what they want to do versus what their heart may say otherwise, just like should I take my kids out of school ;)

 

Yep, very true. But we all like to give our opinions anyway, including me :D.

 

Personally have never and will never leave my child on the ship when I get off of it. If my kiddo needed me, and I wasn't able to even be notified because I was off having fun in port somewhere, I would feel pretty irresponsible (just how i personally would feel). How do you explain why you weren't there to a kid that needed you?

 

And if we missed the ship? I can't even imagine how terrifying it would be for a four year old to be told her parents weren't coming to get her that night.

 

Is it extremely unlikely that this would happen? Yes, of course. But I'm not going to risk it. It just wouldn't be worth it. That is not a message I want to ever give to my child.

 

And as a side note, for me, there is a big difference between this and sending a child to daycare while you work. If they needed me at daycare, I would be in phone communication within minutes and there in under a half hour. And if I couldn't be, daycare could call my husband, mother, or father...definitely not happening on the cruise ship.

 

And the biggest difference is that daycare is a necessary means to make money to pay the bills, vs wanting to do something on vacation that you couldn't do if you had to bring the kid with you.

[scubababy]

I said I never would, but ended up doing it on our cruise in June. We were on a port intensive European cruise, and she had two days where she wanted to chill - "did not want to go look at rocks, stones, and boring stuff"! So, we let her stay on board in Barcelona (she had been there last year). She spent the morning in the kids club in Scotland. We picked her up after lunch so she could see some of Scotland.

 

She was happy, and we were happy too. It was a nice break for my husband and I, and a very nice break for her too. It felt so weird walking around Barcelona without that little hand to hold!!!

 

The days she was on board and we were gone, we or her grandparents were close to the pier/ship. We were not on long excursions where we were gone all day - many miles from the ship. The days we had those type of things planned, she was with us. She begged to stay on the ship in LeHavre, but there was no way. Our drive just to get to Normandy was almost 2 hours. Even in the Caribbean, I would probably be ok leaving her for part of the day.

 

I think your decision should be based on your own personal feelings, the quality of the kids club staff, and if your child is capable of being left without getting too worried or scared.

 

We are veteran cruisers with over 30 cruises under our belts. Our daughter is just starting her cruise adventures with us. This kid has been on some pretty darn good itineraries so far - one cruise to Hawaii and two to Europe! I love having her with us and seeing the wonder and splendor of seeing new things through her eyes. However, my husband and I value our time together as a couple, and the kids clubs make "family" cruising possible for us. We now plan our cruises around the quality of the kids clubs - because we use them!!

 

We've only used Princess for the kids club, and our experience with them has been exceptional!

[queenL]

I have been on board a ship when TWO sets of parents left their kids on board and missed the ship. There were four kids left behind, one a baby. It had to be terrible for the kids because they were all 5 and under, and the next port of call was two days away. If you take a ship's tour, the ship MIGHT wait for the group if the tour is late (I say might because I've been on ships where they didn't wait for tours as they had no choice but to sail because of tides and other issues beyond their control), but they will not wait if you miss the ship on a private tour.

 

I think I would be physically sick with worry and guilt. No judgment to the parents that do, but I would never feel comfortable with that.

 

I would also add that age makes a difference here. My daughter is 3...no way hosea! However, if she were responsible in her late teens....perhaps.

[junglejane]

I've read many of these "would you leave the kids on the ship while you're in port" threads over the last couple of years. This one has the usual spectrum of opinions. Frankly, I think a lot depends on the age of your kids and whether you have actual experience with the on-board kids programs. The people with the most strongly held negative opinions usually seem to be those with the youngest kids (makes perfect sense) and frequently includes those who don't want to use the kids program anyway.

 

What I find objectionable is the implication in some posts that anyone who uses the kids program while in port is irresponsible and selfish. Also there is an mplication that you've forcibly dumped your kid in the program so that you could do something you couldn't have done if they were along. That's certainly not been the case for us. We always give our DDs the choice of whether or not to come along.

 

Example: when we were in Dubrovnik, we took the whole family to "walk the wall" of the city fortress. It was fascinating and lots of fun. DH and I then wanted to look at some of the shops in the city square, plus an old church and small museum. Both kids said, "Bo-ring!" So we took them back to the ship, ate lunch, and left them in the kids program (they were ages 7 and 11) while DH and I spent a couple more hours exploring. We made sure to return in plenty of time to get back onboard. They were happy and we were happy.

[G&TQ]

QueenL, I am with you if my son were in his teens yes easy decission. I have a 6 year old and this is his first cruise. Excursions will be centered around him. beach trip, pirate musem, looking at the old building some educational stuff. Can't wait. Just wonder how others felt about it.

[Scrapchick]

I've read many of these "would you leave the kids on the ship while you're in port" threads over the last couple of years. This one has the usual spectrum of opinions. Frankly, I think a lot depends on the age of your kids and whether you have actual experience with the on-board kids programs. The people with the most strongly held negative opinions usually seem to be those with the youngest kids (makes perfect sense) and frequently includes those who don't want to use the kids program anyway.

 

What I find objectionable is the implication in some posts that anyone who uses the kids program while in port is irresponsible and selfish. Also there is an mplication that you've forcibly dumped your kid in the program so that you could do something you couldn't have done if they were along. That's certainly not been the case for us. We always give our DDs the choice of whether or not to come along.

 

Example: when we were in Dubrovnik, we took the whole family to "walk the wall" of the city fortress. It was fascinating and lots of fun. DH and I then wanted to look at some of the shops in the city square, plus an old church and small museum. Both kids said, "Bo-ring!" So we took them back to the ship, ate lunch, and left them in the kids program (they were ages 7 and 11) while DH and I spent a couple more hours exploring. We made sure to return in plenty of time to get back onboard. They were happy and we were happy.

 

I completely agree... My DD is an only child and I am full time SAHM who is heavily involved in her school and extra curricular activities. She's the center of my world, really. I hate the implication that by leaving her in the kids club on a ship for a few hours that somehow I am a bad parent... We don't even use babysitters at home... But when we are on vacation together, one of the things DD craves is other kids. She's a very social only child and her idea of a good time is to be with kids her age, not "stuck" with Mum and Dad all the time. I am not selfish or irresponsible for allowing her to spend time with other kids on board if that is what she wants to do on her vacation. As she gets older, she has more interest in coming off the ship. When she was younger she got very little out of it and was much happier in the kids club.

 

I think going on a ship with an open mind, when cruising for the first time, is the way to go... If you've never cruised or used the kids clubs before, I can see why you might view it as glorified daycare and parents who utilize it as selfish and putting their needs first, but those of us who do cruise regularly know that it is not the case.

 

As JungleJane said, it very much depends on the child as well. Some are outgoing and comfortable being left, others are not. Mine would hate me for saying she couldn't go to the kids club and had to spend every minute with me. Every situation is different.

 

As kids get older, we as parents are forced to let go of the reins a little bit at a time... My DD has a life away from me at school, on playdates at other girls houses. Now she is in 4th grade parents are no longer welcome in the class as volunteers. Slowly but surely she is becoming more independent and establishing her own world, and it is encouraged by the school. Us "helicopter parents" have to adjust to that. It's hard to let go and worry you'll be judged as anything less than Supermom because you don't homeschool your 12 kids and make all their clothes! We all make the best choices we can for our kids. I don't judge full-time parents who have to put their kids in daycare because they have to work to pay the mortgage... Parents who use the kids club program on a cruise ship aren't bad people either.

[kitty9]

This would be my fear. I know the kids would be well looked after, but what happens if we miss the boat or something happens to us on shore. What did they do with the kids?:eek:

 

They were kept in their cabins and watched by crew members, and the families got hefty bills for that service.

[karatemom2]

If as a parent you choose not to leave your child in the kid's program because it isn't your preference or you are uncomfortable with the idea, that is perfectly understandable. However, there are many wonderful parents here who do use the option provided by the cruise line for safe and engaging child care while they visit a port and that is perfectly fine as well. I cannot believe that someone would imply that they are somehow irresponsible or selfish. Comments like that are completely out of line. It is fine to express an opinion about your personal preferences, but when your "opinion" comes across as a clear and very critical judgment regarding another person's parenting style it is just thoughtless.

[philsfun]

If I'm not mistaken...When you sign your kids up for the kids club...you are required to stay on the ship??:confused:

[junglejane]

If I'm not mistaken...When you sign your kids up for the kids club...you are required to stay on the ship??:confused:

 

We have used the kids programs on Princess, Celebrity and RCI, and never run across any such requirement.

[rolloman]

I have never done it. Usually one of us stays onboard or everyone goes ashore together. I can guarantee you if I ever were to do it , the ship would have to be tied up at a pier. Due to constant changing weather conditions, tendering can be canceled at a moments notice, people are left behind and the ship moves on. You can think all you want in your mind the kids will be in good hands but for me the idea of leaving my toddler overnight with complete strangers does not sound right to me.

[Kerry's Girls]

If I'm not mistaken...When you sign your kids up for the kids club...you are required to stay on the ship??:confused:

 

You are mistaken at least about Princess and NCL.

 

Best,

Mia

[Maryscooking]

I cannot believe that someone would imply that they are somehow irresponsible or selfish. Comments like that are completely out of line. It is fine to express an opinion about your personal preferences, but when your "opinion" comes across as a clear and very critical judgment regarding another person's parenting style it is just thoughtless.

 

Well in my post I definitely said I would feel irresponsible - and emphasized that it was MY personal feeling. Yes, I would feel that way. So if you are directing your comments partially or completely at my post, I have to say that I put a great deal of thought into what I wrote; it was far from thoughtless. :p

 

I do have my opinions, and that is exactly what the OP asked for. There is nothing out of line about sharing them. This goes both ways - parents sharing my line of thinking have been characterized as over-protective, never having used the kids club, helicopter, etc, in this thread.

 

And truthfully it doesn't bother me at all to be accused of or called those things. Why should it? I am entirely comfortable with my parenting decisions. If a person would take it personally and get offended that I (someone they don't even know) said I would feel irresponsible in a given situation - perhaps they should examine how secure they really are with the decisions they've made.

[jtdlmc]

If I'm not mistaken...When you sign your kids up for the kids club...you are required to stay on the ship??:confused:

 

Carnival actually makes exception for the kids to stay in Camp Carnival for lunch on shore days so that the parents can go into port and leave the kids. Usually, they have to be picked up for lunch.

 

From Carnival FAQS: "On port days, children who’s parents are off the ship may eat with the Youth Staff. Camp Carnival will ask parents to pick up their children for lunch if they are on board the ship."

 

My DS(9) would much rather stay on board the ship than shop! I would not have a worry leaving him on the ship if that's what we were doing - just staying in the port area shopping or wandering around. If there was a ship sponsored excursion that we wanted to go on that he really didn't, then I may go off on that - haven't come across that yet so not really sure if I would or wouldn't. I definitely wouldn't go on a private excursion or rent a car to travel around in port and leave him on board.

[mjkacmom]

And as a side note, for me, there is a big difference between this and sending a child to daycare while you work. If they needed me at daycare, I would be in phone communication within minutes and there in under a half hour. And if I couldn't be, daycare could call my husband, mother, or father...definitely not happening on the cruise ship.

.

 

You do realize that, in the past, before cellphones, there were many times when a child wanted to get in touch with a parent, but was unable. My mom was a SAHM, but I'm sure she ran errands, had appointments, etc., and could not be reached at all times. Even having another emergency contact didn't mean anyone could be reached at any time.

 

I'd leave my kids on the ship, knowing that they are confident and capable of surviving if we didn't make it back. I would bring my cell, so I could make contact (and be willing to pay the high charges).

[Scrapchick]

You do realize that, in the past, before cellphones, there were many times when a child wanted to get in touch with a parent, but was unable. My mom was a SAHM, but I'm sure she ran errands, had appointments, etc., and could not be reached at all times. Even having another emergency contact didn't mean anyone could be reached at any time.

 

I'd leave my kids on the ship, knowing that they are confident and capable of surviving if we didn't make it back. I would bring my cell, so I could make contact (and be willing to pay the high charges).

 

Actually, it's hard for them to call you from the ship, but they can send you an e-mail easily... I always give them my address and have my BlackBerry with me, so worst case, they can easily get hold of me and I can get back to the ship. They are so safety conscious in the kids clubs! I have yet to be contacted or to return and find out there was a problem.

[matj2000]

I cannot stand "Helicopter Parents"!!

When our kids were little, <3 we left them on the ship all the time. Thats on of the big reasons we did the cruise thing. Because they offer that service....They were fine... I think the younger one holds the record for being at Camp Carnival the longest time in on span......

[Maryscooking]

You do realize that, in the past, before cellphones, there were many times when a child wanted to get in touch with a parent, but was unable. My mom was a SAHM, but I'm sure she ran errands, had appointments, etc., and could not be reached at all times. Even having another emergency contact didn't mean anyone could be reached at any time.

 

Yep, as a matter of fact, I do realize that...I grew up in that time! Of course there are times when a parent can't be immediately reached. My parents left us alone with a sitter for a week once while they went on a trip out of the country (no cell phones at all). My mom regularly was out of town on business and not that accessible. And clearly I survived to be posting on the internet today.

 

I'm just saying, that FOR ME, getting off the ship and venturing into a foreign country while my child stays behind in the kids club is not an acceptable reason to be unreachable in case of an emergency. If I came back to the ship and found that my child had been sick all day and I couldn't be contacted, I would not feel good about that. For others, that is an acceptable risk scenario, and I am not trying to change anyone's mind about it. Just sharing my own thoughts.

 

We've thought about this a great deal. In fact, my husband and I are planning on leaving our daughter in the care of her grandparents next year for our 10th anniversary cruise. For the big reason that there are excursions in the Southern Caribbean that we want to do and our daughter cannot (isn't old enough), and we don't feel that it is acceptable to leave her on the ship.

[queenL]

 

I'm just saying, that FOR ME, getting off the ship and venturing into a foreign country while my child stays behind in the kids club is not an acceptable reason to be unreachable in case of an emergency. If I came back to the ship and found that my child had been sick all day and I couldn't be contacted, I would not feel good about that. For others, that is an acceptable risk scenario, and I am not trying to change anyone's mind about it. Just sharing my own thoughts.

 

We've thought about this a great deal. In fact, my husband and I are planning on leaving our daughter in the care of her grandparents next year for our 10th anniversary cruise. For the big reason that there are excursions in the Southern Caribbean that we want to do and our daughter cannot (isn't old enough), and we don't feel that it is acceptable to leave her on the ship.

 

I'm right there with you. Every parent takes risks, we have no choice, but some risks we do have a choice. I try and ask myself, worse case scenario, if something bad happened, could I be comfortable knowing that I did everything I could. In this case I wouldn't. For me, I would feel guilt, because I would think I should have been on that ship with my kid, or I should have had my kid with me. So that makes it an easy decision for me.

 

I'm blessed that my parents love to travel as much as we do. We often take trips with them for this very reason. If there is something we want to do that day that my daughter can't we leave her with them.

[Twobonbons]

I always thought I would not leave my DD on the ship when I went into port. It is just my DD and I who travel together. It was partially that I would have some concern about getting back to the ship but also that we both wanted to share our shore adventures together. However, on about our 3rd cruise when she was 8, at the last minute due to unforeseen circumstances I did make the decision to leave her. I did have confidence in the camp staff and she was wanting to stay; and our plans always include a big cushion of time to be back to the dock. It was just as well.

 

I did have one of the worst fears happen. Within an hour off the ship, I fell during the rainforest tour in St. Kitts and broke my leg! It was best that she did not witness my fall down the embankment and subsequent pain and needing care. I chose to be transported to the ship's hospital rather than the local hospital for my initial treatment so I was sure to get back to the ship. I received excellent care on the ship, followed by local island care and was able to avoid surgery that was expected upon initial examination. (we did have to abandon ship and go home for further treatment)

 

Having been through it, as earlier posters have said, even if the situation had been even worse, I would have felt better knowing that she was in the ship's care, rather than in a strange country with unvetted strangers.

 

I tell my story not to stifle the choice but to encourage families to take the best decision for them as adults and to handle their own fears, but to also allow the children to enjoy the cruise the way they want to experience it. Be sensible and reasonable in the choices for off-ship activities and it normally goes well.

[CanadianTwosome]

I haven't read the thread and I honestly have no opinion about whether someone should or shouldn't do this; parents have to make their own choices. I just saw the question so I'm going to answer it.

 

I would be terrified to leave my daughter on board when I went into port, and I would also feel like I was missing out on experiencing things with her. That about sums it up. :)

[Ariel's Mum]

I felt I had a rough time on here when asking about whether to allow my 12 (week away from being 13) and 11 (6 weeks away from being 12) year olds to walk for an ice cream or head to mini gold or the H20 zone on their own. :confused:

 

So much so I was thinking of chaining them to my side at one point. :p

 

Anyway I have now decided, Thanks to some great advice, to set some strict ground rules for my two and will allow them some freedom aboard.

 

BUT I know for fact I'd be a nervous wreck leaving them on board while DH and I went ashore. That's not to say that I think kids should not be left on board. The decision is the parents to make and indeed it depends on the individual child. I can understand everyone's point of view. :)

[A&Jfamily]

I felt I had a rough time on here when asking about whether to allow my 12 (week away from being 13) and 11 (6 weeks away from being 12) year olds to walk for an ice cream or head to mini gold or the H20 zone on their own. :confused:

 

So much so I was thinking of chaining them to my side at one point. :p

 

Anyway I have now decided' date=' Thanks to some great advice, to set some strict ground rules for my two and will allow them some freedom aboard.

 

BUT I know for fact I'd be a nervous wreck leaving them on board while DH and I went ashore. That's not to say that I think kids should not be left on board. The decision is the parents to make and indeed it depends on the individual child. I can understand everyone's point of view. :)[/quote']

 

I think you will see some great benefits as a parent from your decision to give them a little freedom - I did with my son. Happy crusin!