Anyone have a child who downright refused the kids program?

[needalatte74]

:( I don't have much hope for my 4 1/2 year old willingly playing in the kids program. We tried a weekend cruise once when he turned 4, and he wouldn't have it. He cried so much and we were called to come pick him up. He's a really apprehensive kid and doesn't really respond well to new situations. Its takes him a lot of time to get comfortable and let go, kwim?

 

This time, its a week cruise on the NCL Epic.

 

I am hyping this one up like crazy. I show him videos on you tube about the kids program and we have a countdown on the fridge. He seems interested. But my fear is that once we get on board, it will be a different story.

 

I know that parents aren't allowed in the kids play area, and when I get on board I will talk to the counselors about helping him get into it sort of speak. All I can do is keep my fingers crossed.

 

I want all my kids to have fun, I want to spend time as a family, but I also want to get some alone time with hubby durin the week too. I worry this won't happen.

 

Any advice tips on coaxing him a little more?

[exj132]

Just keep talking...keep telling him how great it will be and how much fun it is, tell him what he can do there, assure him you'll be back to get him. Start telling him now that he will have time to play there on his own. Make sure he knows what is coming, so he has an idea what's coming.

 

And then if that doesn't work...

 

Use bribery. If you stay, you can have *whatever*. A sticker, ice cream with dinner, stay up an extra half an hour...whatever works.

[amistad]

We have had the same experience with our grandson, he just turned 4 and we are planning on another cruise this April. The only time he has let us leave him was during the freetime in the jungle gym and as soon as it ended he was ready for us to pick him up. I alway's try to encourage him, but if it's not meant to be it's ok. It really is a shame he won't go, cause when we went on Princess he was too young to be left and they allow you to stay with them and he loved it. I know if my grandson would give it a chance he would enjoy it, and we will try again this year. Good Luck

[youngestof9]

I have no real advice except to say seek out Dynamite and Wiggles on Epic (they don't put their real names on their nametags - it's kid friendly names. LOL). They are both male counselors and both REALLY warm and engaging with the kids. Maybe seeking a particular counselor can help.

 

also speak with the recess manager and tell her of your apprehension. She can help too.

 

Good luck - it really is a great club. Maybe read the list for him (I posted copies of the 2-5 club the other day) and see what activities he may enjoy. My little one loved when they painted their face.

 

Good luck and have fun!

[needalatte74]

Thank you SOOOOO much for the advice on the counselors! I'll look for the dailies you posted.

[crzgrl66]

Good for you that you are talking a lot about it, so he will already feel familiar. With our apprehensive 4 year old, we did short increments. The first time we went was the get acquainted night and we stayed there with him and just looked at all of the toys. The first time for drop off, I told him I had to go do boring paperwork at guest relations and I would be right back, I only left for 15 minutes. The second visit, I left him for 30 minutes. The third visit, he begged to stay longer and told me that he didn't have enough time to play with all of the toys.

 

I don't know if NCL has pagers or not, but that also helps if he knows he can call you anytime to come and get him. It's hard to get any child to want to go back when they are not having a good time and are stuck there. That happened to us with our 7 year old and he refused to go back. The rest of the trip, he would go to shows with us and bring his Leapster and headphones. Not ideal but at least we got to go out.

[cb at sea]

I wouldn't "talk it up" too much....no matter how "casual" your are about it, he's going to feel some "pressure", and I can speak from experience that that is something that can make a reticent child totally rebel against what you're trying to do!!!!!

 

If he wants to, he will. If not, don't force it! Either way, you'll have a good vacation!

[cruiserNC]

Our DD is very similar even though she attends daycare. It takes her a while to warm up to anything new. What we have done on her first 2 cruises at ages 2 & 3 was create cheap goodie bags that were used as a reward for her attending Camp. By the 3rd day she was so excited to go to camp that we had to remind her about her reward at end. Last year age 3 was a real kicker when we wanted to take her to dinner with us the last night of the cruise and she told us she would rather eat with her class. So this has become a tradition we try to be creative with the bags and we make them better as the week goes on. I know some would think this is bribing I agree it is but it beats walking away from her screaming and we getting called 20 minutes later when all along we knew she would enjoy it. As a rule we never leave her in camp more than 2 hours at a time and we never get off the ship without her no exceptions.

[rjm11]

Our DD is very similar even though she attends daycare. It takes her a while to warm up to anything new. What we have done on her first 2 cruises at ages 2 & 3 was create cheap goodie bags that were used as a reward for her attending Camp. By the 3rd day she was so excited to go to camp that we had to remind her about her reward at end. Last year age 3 was a real kicker when we wanted to take her to dinner with us the last night of the cruise and she told us she would rather eat with her class. So this has become a tradition we try to be creative with the bags and we make them better as the week goes on. I know some would think this is bribing I agree it is but it beats walking away from her screaming and we getting called 20 minutes later when all along we knew she would enjoy it. As a rule we never leave her in camp more than 2 hours at a time and we never get off the ship without her no exceptions.

 

I like that idea.... my parents always said "sometimes you have to force kids to have fun".... I think there's lots of truth to that!! My three year old was apprehensive on our NCL Pearl cruise last summer- we eased into it by only leaving him there for 20 min or 1/2 hour the first few times. He was also bribed by getting to spend some time afterwards in the arcade with the riding/driving games which he loved (but were 50 cents to a dollar each!!). Eventually he enjoyed it more and more. We're headed back in March with NCL on the Dawn, and I'm hoping it will be even better this time......

[Georgee]

When my dd started pre-school she had terrible seperation anxieties. I kept assuring her I would be back. I finally figured out that if I gave her my watch and showed her when I was going to be back, it helped. It let her know I was coming back because she had my watch and it did not seem so long to her. Even though she couldn't tell time she knew what potition the hands would be in when I was returning to get her. Now that she is older she still borrows my watch when seperating from me. Its a comfort to her. Maybe something like that could help you.

[Julienatul]

We have sailed with our kids since infants and both have attended daycare since 4 months of age and My DD age 5 now wouldnt stay in the club until she was almost 4. Now I cant keep her out of it!! I knew once she stayed she would love it but the anxiety of leaving me was just too much until she was about 4. You may find your DS is more mature this cruise and may be able to handle it better.

[victoriasmommy]

Ditto we loved Wiggles

 

You can give LO a picture of you to hold.

 

Also just a calm attitude.

 

DD doesn't want to stay with my best friend for 10 mins without me, or some of her uncles/aunts. So I never thought she'd be happy with total strangers....

But

I took DD by & told her that we would look around... And asked her if it looked like fun. and we would come back later. And if she didnt want to it was stay it was ok, but perhaps we could just try it, & if she needed me just tell them to call mommy on the phone & Ill be right back.

 

Also, you can call kids club on the phone they give you & ask them if your LO is doing ok. Last time he actually said "lettme go look at her while im talking to you, I just saw her 10 mins ago and she was having a blast." then he asked her if she wanted her mom to come and she said "not yet" and i cried..... and my BF laughed.

[crusinmama06]

Here are youngestof9's pages from Epic. Your best bet is to go over the activities now and to pick out events that he might want to attend.

 

 

 

[ClarkBHM]

So, I read the pages that crusinmama06 shared and the discipline problem worried me. My kids will be 5 and 3 on our upcoming NCL cruise. I'll admit, that neither of them is that well behaved in their regular daycare (not for wont of us trying!)

 

Has anyone ever had their kid kicked out of the program? Do the counselors explain the rules to the kids before the occurances so that the kids are aware of them?

[chipmaster]

Refused or isn't ready?

 

A child of 4 +/- a few it can be more than about refusal, could be anxiety.

 

I have 3 kids, they have sometimes enjoyed it, had anxiety, and for a while for one of them didn't enjoy it.

 

I guess my view is a little different, nothing like spending quality time with my child, I get so little. If he isn't ready for the kids club I hope in time he would. Enjoy them, very quickly they wont' want anything to do with you.

[dedro]

we have done 3 cruises with our son at 4 6 and 7. For him it seems what kids are in the club during that particular cruise really makes the difference. On Disney, everyone said your child will beg to go to the club....not the case for us...he was 4, but said it was mostly girl stuff...but on carnival he had lots of boys to play with so he was a pea in a pod. So just go with an open mind, all the programs are great. One thing that has always worked for us is having him wear a watch to the club, telling him wha time we r picking up and what fun activity we r doing after. Good luck and have a great vacation!

[crusinmama06]

Has anyone ever had their kid kicked out of the program? Do the counselors explain the rules to the kids before the occurances so that the kids are aware of them?

 

Ooooh Oohhhh me me!!!!! Pick me! :p

 

Yeah, that would be us! My oldest is the perfect child. That child can do no wrong. And of course I just thought it was my perfect parenting skills. ;) Then God looked at me and laughed and gave me my second child.

 

Bless her heart -- we love her just the same. But she is difficult. Very difficult. Her wires are just crossed in her little mind. She is ADHD (yes, yes I know everyone says their child is ADHD but this child IS ADHD and her psychiatrist and psychologist can prove it :p)

 

So when I go into the kids clubs I warn them. Yes, I said WARN them. I say that she WILL BE HYPER. She will be a BALL FULL OF ENERGY (just the other night she was up till 3:30am spinning in circles saying she was hungry for chinese food and she wouldn't go to sleep until she got some :eek:)

 

When she was 3, she was removed from Adventure Ocean by one counselor on a "3 strikes policy" because she wouldn't get off the slide and come listen to the story. She was prompty put back into the program when I went to the head of AO. That counselor was removed from the room and placed with the older kids for that week.

 

When she was 4, I was called by Camp Carnival because she had taken a rubber shark and hit a metal pole in the room. They asked her to not to -- she did. I was called. I removed her from the camp and I missed formal night -- spent the night eating a ham sandwich in our cabin.

 

This year we were on RCI Grandeur and she wanted to bounce back and forth between the "baby room" (the 3-5's) and the (6-8's). She is 6 years old now but they had combined the 6-8s with the 9-11's. So if they played a game that she didn't understand, she became frustrated so she wanted to go back to the "baby room". The RCI counselors were VERY understanding with her. I think it had to do with the fact that I was VERY open with them about her up front. I literally told them about her at registration.

 

And each and every time I went to pick her up, I talked to them about her behavior and told them that it was OK to call me if they needed me. I told them that I wouldn't blame them if they needed me. So I think they felt safe enough to call me -- does that make sense?

 

So be open with the counselors. Tell them that they can page/call you if they need you. And constantly check in with them and the kids. If you try to help the counselors from the beginning with your children's behavior problems then you are less likely to get kicked out.

[momof3cruisers]

I wouldn't "talk it up" too much....no matter how "casual" your are about it, he's going to feel some "pressure", and I can speak from experience that that is something that can make a reticent child totally rebel against what you're trying to do!!!!!

 

If he wants to, he will. If not, don't force it! Either way, you'll have a good vacation!

 

Yep, that would be my son. I have to go with totally no pressure, even now and he's almost 11. And yes, he refused to use the kids' club on Disney of all lines. Of course, the main problem there was that they have characters come into the kid's clubs. At the time (he was 3) he would have a LITTLE to do with Mickey but the rest of those guys were NOT an option. So, once when DH wanted to go ashore for a bit, he stayed with grandma and the rest of the time we just too it easy at the pool etc. My daughter OTOH we had to make leave the club.

[shellster1]

Just keep talking...keep telling him how great it will be and how much fun it is, tell him what he can do there, assure him you'll be back to get him. Start telling him now that he will have time to play there on his own. Make sure he knows what is coming, so he has an idea what's coming.

 

And then if that doesn't work...

 

Use bribery. If you stay, you can have *whatever*. A sticker, ice cream with dinner, stay up an extra half an hour...whatever works.

 

LOL!! Bribery works EVERY TIME!!! :)

[sunrise&set]

DS will be experiencing the Kids Club for the first time next week. At least, I hope he will. I haven't seen anyone suggest the possibility of meeting other kids from your Roll Call first. Maybe if he meets another child his age before going to the Kids Club, it would help ease his mind because he already "knows" someone else??

 

I talk to DS about it and he is excited about the "school" on the ship. But I'm going into it with the expectation that he won't like it so I won't be too disappointed. He can be shy at first but warms up quickly.

[New2Cruise10]

Good for you that you are talking a lot about it, so he will already feel familiar. With our apprehensive 4 year old, we did short increments. The first time we went was the get acquainted night and we stayed there with him and just looked at all of the toys. The first time for drop off, I told him I had to go do boring paperwork at guest relations and I would be right back, I only left for 15 minutes. The second visit, I left him for 30 minutes. The third visit, he begged to stay longer and told me that he didn't have enough time to play with all of the toys.

 

I don't know if NCL has pagers or not, but that also helps if he knows he can call you anytime to come and get him. It's hard to get any child to want to go back when they are not having a good time and are stuck there. That happened to us with our 7 year old and he refused to go back. The rest of the trip, he would go to shows with us and bring his Leapster and headphones. Not ideal but at least we got to go out.

 

NCL gives you a cell phone to carry (that's what they did on the Pearl and so I assume Epic would have similar arrangement). They will call the parents if they need you to return to the kids club.

 

My DS was almost 3 when we went on the Pearl last year for a 7 day cruise. The first day he only stayed for about 30 min. The second day he was so upset he threw up so we had to keep him with us for at least 24 hr before we can check him in again. By the the 4th day of cruise when we can check in him again, he somehow figured out that if he tell the counselors that he has to go potty we will come get him. (He is already potty trained but needed help with his pants. The counselors won't help with potty so they always call the parents when the kids need to go) We always take the kids to the bathroom before we drop them off, and when we got a call 15 min after drop off, we know he is faking it. At that point we just cut him out from the kids club while My DD who is 5 would continue to go the whole time (she loved it and asked to go all the time!) Then the very last day he actually wanted to go in with his big sister and end up staying there for 2 hrs! too bad the next day our cruise ended. :)

 

I think sometimes the reverse phsycology works. Don't let them go and they will actually want to go...especially if their sibling keep on asking to go and keep on talking about how fun it was.

 

We are going on the Epic in Apr for a 7 days cruise. My DS is now 3 1/2 and has been in pre school since last Sept. I think this time he will have no prob staying at the kids club....well let's hope I am right. :)

[jennk1425]

At that point we just cut him out from the kids club while My DD who is 5 would continue to go the whole time (she loved it and asked to go all the time!) Then the very last day he actually wanted to go in with his big sister and end up staying there for 2 hrs! too bad the next day our cruise ended. :)

 

I think sometimes the reverse phsycology works.

 

So what did you do with your DS the whole cruise? Did it stress you out?

[Julienatul]

I always bring a bag of toys new & old(dollar store toys, happy meal toys and the favorites) for my kids, luckily we drive to the ports so space isnt an issue. That way I have stuff for downtime in the cabin, meals, etc and stuff just in case they dont use the kids club. It is a bit more stressful when they dont go but as a parent you learn to be flexible and go with the flow, preparation is key.

[Onessa]

Yeah, that would be us! My oldest is the perfect child. That child can do no wrong. And of course I just thought it was my perfect parenting skills. ;) Then God looked at me and laughed and gave me my second child.

THIS is the reason I always give other people as to why DH and I only had one child:D! It's not true of course, but it seems that the people who seemed to be MOST adement that we should have another kid would in the next breath tell me that their older and younger kids were "complete opposites" of one another -- since I like my DD just the way she is . . . well it made for a good "excuse".

 

But cruisinmama makes some great points. The bulk of the counselors at the kids programs are great -- and really great with kids. If the counselors know what to expect from your LO, they can deal with it much better.

 

Side story -- I will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS love "Dizzy" from RCCI -- this was about eight years ago. She was not quite 7YO and had refused to participate in the talent show. Well during the talent show she was sitting very nicely with the other kids but Dizzy noticed she seemed really upset about something. I saw him go over and talk to her and they both nodded and smiled, the next thing I knew she was the "special" last act -- and played a very nice Christmas song (in September) on the keyboard. He knew she was regretting deciding not to participate and gave her an out. She still remembers that (she's now 15YO).

We ran into him on two subsequent cruises (on two different RCCI ships, on two completely different itineraries!)

 

I think sometimes the reverse phsycology works. Don't let them go and they will actually want to go...especially if their sibling keep on asking to go and keep on talking about how fun it was.

The first time our DD was old enough to participate in Adventure Ocean, she was ready, but DH expressed some concerns to me (forgetting she has BIG ears) as to whether she was "ready" for AO. That sealed the deal as far as she was concerned -- NO ONE was going to keep her from participating! :D

 

But to aswage her Daddy's concern, we did stop by an hour into her first time there -- she promptly ignored us. Similarly DH stopped by another hour later, she ignored him -- the counselor asked her both times if she wanted to leave -- she said NO. The counselor, gently explained to my DH that he could come back at 10:00pm and that they'd page us if she needed/wanted to leave before then!

[doctordi]

My middle child really doesn't seem to like the kid clubs (He has been on Carnival and Norweigen). His older brother and younger sister love the activities and they are all close enough in age that he is always in the same group with one of them. He just prefers to hang with Mom usually. He isn't much into arts and crafts and, eventhough he is social at home, just doesn't seem to make new friends easily. Oh well, I have a little buddy for laying by the pool.