Safety Camp Carnival and Circle C

[mstew12647]

Please help. My wife and I have scheduled a cruise on the Fascination for the two of us and our children. I have a 12 year old son and an 11 year old step daughter. We cruised with the children last year when they were 11 and 10 respectively and they both had a great time with Camp Carnival. Now that he is 12 and she is only 11, they will be in different groups. He will be in a group of children from 12-14 and as I am sure you remember from your own childhood, there is a big difference between 'just turned 12' and 'about to be 15.' Carnival says that they will not allow me to put him in the younger group with his sister. The real problem is that my ex wife is extremely over protective and apparently doesn't think that I am capable of making rational decisions without her input. As is her right, she will refuse to let him go out of the country unless a. Carnival changes their minds and lets him into the younger group (which I can not guarantee) or b, we just don't enroll him in something that he truly enjoys and he has to stay with us the entire time while my step daughter is playing at Camp Carnival (which I will not do because my wife and I are not going to let my ex determine our vacation itenerary). I need to know if your kids came back from the trip more "mature" (in the negative way) than when they left or do you think that they were adequately supervised and that nothing even slightly innappropriate happened. Please help me with this. Your comments make or break my son's ability to go on this cruise, however, what I need are some stories about your experiences with Circle C regarding the safety and supervision of the children. I want negative experiences as well as positive ones so that I can give her a fair and balanced picture of what we are working with. Before you say it, yes, I know that it sucks that I have to put up with this, but on the plus side, I only have a little under six years before I am free. Thanks in advance for your help. 18 hours ago

[cb at sea]

The camp counselor's are highly trained....and at those ages, VERY well supervised! It's the 'older' groups that don't have alot of planned activities....16 +...they sort of use the camp to meet up, and then do their own thing. The 12-15 group will be heavily planned and watched...

 

You can't guarantee that a child will not hear or see something that you don't approve of, unless you blindfold them and never let them leave their room! Life just isn't like that!

Good luck to you!

[alj1208]

I have no experience with Camp Carnival but just want to say I think you're handling this very well in terms of your reaction and trying to work with your ex. This must be tough for you, but hopefully, with a little more info, your ex will agree to let your son go and have a good time at Camp Carnival. Maybe you could tell your ex that your son is a good kid (I am assuming he is), and if there's anything remotely questionable about the club, he will know how to react (tell dad...), and then dad won't have him go back to the club if that is the case (which it won't be). What about also setting up a time for your kids to call your ex a few times on the trip so her fears can be put aside.

[Essiesmom]

Previous threads have said that it is more likely that he be allowed to move down a group, than that the step daughter be allowed to move up. It depends on how many kids are in each group on your sailing. Of course, once you are on the ship, whatever you do is your business...But the possibility is there. The trick is to get him 'on the ship'. EM

[mstew12647]

CB: The Circle C age group is 12-14, not 15. I only mentioned that because kids that are almost 15 could be in the group too. I was worried about the supervision aspects, because from what I can see, they can come and go as they please unless you specifically state that they have to be picked up. I agree with you. Unfortunately our children are in environments every day where they may see or hear something that they shouldn't. I feel as if the exposure of this entire experience will be the equivalent of my son spending the same amount of time with his friends in the school lunchroom.

 

ALJ: Thanks. I suppose I have had 9 years to get used to it, so I kind of know what to expect. I had kind of hoped that she would back off of it some as he gets older to give him a sense of independence, and make him not look like a mama's boy in front of his friends, but that doesn't seem to be happening yet. Still, I would rather her be overprotective that underprotective. Last year we had him call her every night before bed and did not have any problems on a seven day cruise. That's not the problem. The problem is that she does not want him mixing with kids that are almost 15. There is a big developmental difference between 'just turned 12' and 'about to be 15.' Fifteen year olds have had more experiences and talk about things and do things that 12 year olds don't. I accept that, but I would like for him to maintain his innocence as much as possible for as long as he can. You can only be a kid once.

 

Essiesmom: If they would let me move him down a group, that would be what I want. That would be perfect. They just couldn't guarantee it over the phone. I will have to check on the ship, but I can't get to the ship to check without his mom letting him go. Catch 22. Is it wrong to suggest that he is learning disabled to get him into the younger group?

[alj1208]

Mstew...... It sounds like you and your ex sort of agree that your DS is better off with the younger group. Hopefully, with that in mind, she will let your son go and trust you to do what's best depending on what the reality is on the ship.

[mstew12647]

The problem is, they will not let me make the decision on this. The lady at the call center said that they are usually pretty strict on it.

[bus man]

Is it wrong to suggest that he is learning disabled to get him into the younger group?

 

In my opinion, yes it is. It would be a lie. What lesson would this teach him? That it's OK to lie to get what we want? That it's OK to pretend to be something he's not (learning disabled, in this case) in order to receive a privilege that would otherwise not be extended to him?

 

I don't want to sound like I'm bashing you. I feel for you, I really do. I can only imagine the difficult spot you're in. But as his father, it is your responsibility to guide and shape your son's moral compass. How you handle this situation -- not just the age issue, but the whole mess surrounding your dealings with your ex (who, remember, is your son's mother) will make a BIG impression on him, either positively or negatively.

 

Doing it right -- and letting your son see you doing it right, even if it's costly -- is worth more than any cruise.

[Ellanora]

Take a set of walkie talkies - let your son carry one. My son was 12 on our last Carnival cruise and really enjoyed Circle C. There was ALWAYS a counselor present, and they were ALWAYS supervised. I know because I would walk by unseen and verify for myself. My son and I cruise alone sometimes, and I am not comfortable with him roaming the ship without knowing where he is, so he would call me on the walkie talkie when he was done with Circle C stuff and I would meet him and we'd move on together. Usually he picks and chooses which Circle C activities he wants to participate in from the paper schedule earlier in the day so I already know what time to meet him after the activity, the walkie talkie was just in case he changed his mind.

 

Perhaps if your ex knows you will have a direct line to him at all times, and that you can check up on him at any time, that will ease the tension.

 

Also - there really isn't THAT much difference between a 12 year old and a 14 year old when they are playing video games together. Or grooving to the latest songs on the disco floor with the counselor present. Or playing trivia games led by the counselor. I think your son will have a fun, and appropriate, time in Circle C.

[sailinglisa]

Is it wrong to suggest that he is learning disabled to get him into the younger group?

 

IMHO, yes, it is wrong to try and do this! What precedent are you trying to set for your son? That is is OK to lie to get something you really want?

 

The truth is, and your ex is going to have to live with it and loosen her apron strings just a bit, is that until you get on the ship, you will not know if your son can be moved to the 9 - 11 group, if at all. The 12 - 14's ARE supervised on Carnival.

[mjkacmom]

Well, ds12 and his friend pretty much had the run of the ship, because on NCL, they were too young for the 13 - 16 program, and after an hour in the 10 - 12, thought it was too babyish. However, he also has a lot of freedom at home (I really missed him not using a cellphone, however!). How about having your ds agree that he is not to sign himself out of the club. I know if I told me kids they couldn't, they wouldn't.

 

Dd14 used the club to meet up with her new group of friends, did some activities, but also just spent time on the ship with them, went to dinner, hung by the pool at night. I'm guessing the older kids will leave the club to the younger kids at night.

 

If your ds is in school, trust me, by this age, he's heard it all. Ds is in middle school, and has a friend who tells his mom everything, and the stuff he tells her? :eek: And he's more likely to hear things from people he sees daily, than total strangers just warming up to each other.

 

If ds did not have a friend on the cruise, he would've been bored to death, although he would've been fine if he was old enough for the 13+ club (he's almost 13). He did meet up with some kids at the pool table, and at the basketball court, but those were the same kids who were in the 13+ club, and it was random. If your ds is a bit immature, he will gravitate towards kids like himself anyway.