Formal Night Dress up or Dress Down

[sapper1]

I think I got the Quite thing wired now! Cheers...

By George, I think you've got it.;)

[CamaroKid67]

By George, I think you've got it.;)

except I don't appear to be able to spell "Quote" very well.

[F5Loar]

"When I go to dinner on formal night on HAL - I get out the Tux, shine the shoes and make sure my bride has a beauitful flower for her dress. "

Now this guy has got it. He don't care about everyone else and what they think but he does care about what his wife thinks. What must the wives of the "clowns" and "Bubbas" think of their better half on formal nights? Makes you want to take home that formal photo with your bubba next to you while you look fit for a Queen's party.

At least the guys with old outdated tuxes made an effort. The guys with polos and jeans made no effort to fit in. Quite the opposite. They make to effort to not fit in.

Me, I dress for my wife because she does care. When you loose your self-esteem and try to cover it up by saying here it's okay for others to dress sloopy to make you fit in it's just sad. You can sugar coat it all you want it's still wrong to go against the suggestions for dress. The only excuse you really have is you don't care about yourself or others and it shows big time. But then we aren't judging you here. We will let your cruise mates judge when they see you. And they will. And please don't keep saying you don't want to wear a tux. That is not the only dress suggested. A coat and tie with nice slacks work fine. Say you don't want to wear a coat and tie.

[DizzyDallasDi]

. . . no matter how sloopy you look on formal nights.

 

Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on.... ;)

[JJGlanton]

Why some people feel the need to denigrate others ("clowns" and "bubbas" - really :rolleyes:) is beyond me. Perhaps some feel the need to dress up in order to compensate for feelings of inadequacy regarding their social standing, and see dressing up as a way to validate a fragile sense of self worth.

 

Not all - or even most - who enjoy dressing formally fit this description of course, and many posters who have contributed here who come down on the side of preferring formal dress have been reasonable and decent in expressing their opinion - in no way do I mean to suggest that these reasonable posters who prefer formal dress are in any way 'flawed' or suffer from feelings of inadequacy.

 

But those who disparage others, who attempt to bully others, who attempt to control and dictate how other adults should dress are revealing more about themselves than they realize.

 

After all, it's not like we're talking about ripped jeans and dirty t-shirts. We're talking about reasonable adults who are on vacation in a tropical climate , adults who are neat and clean and in total compliance with the letter of HAL's policy who are being targeted for abuse by certain posters on this thread.

 

Again - I don't expect to change the behavior of those few on this thread who feel the need to bully others. But I hope that first time cruisers or those new to HAL looking for guidance on how to dress will not allow themselves to be intimidated or bullied by a few misguided folks. :)

[F5Loar]

Fragile sense of worth! Yeah right. At least we are in the right and you are and always will be in the wrong. I guess it goes back to how we were raised. If you got a better name for a Bubba cruiser let's here it. It's used on the Carnvial post quite often.

Sorry I can't spell sloopy as spell check would okay that spelling but you got my drift on what I was saying.

A bully is someone telling others to dress like them when you know it's wrong. Go ahead keep sugar coating it. It just digs you deeper into what others really think about why you think it's okay to dress in polos and jeans.

[DancingGypsy]

Well, Lana (OP), if you are still around this thread, you will see what I meant. I go away for 24 hours and come back to the thread and see it has become another "your stupid" (sic) swap. This one is mild to this point, with only one "clown" and one "Bubba" so far, but it likely will become worse and even less interesting.

 

I am now done with this thread. The rest of you can enjoy your re-heated hash, or more accurately, re-hashed heat. Goodbye.

 

Dave

Yes, Dave Im still here, Hah! Really all I wanted to know is do you really get all decked out or just dressed up .... Frankly when I see the men are in their "Tux's" and the ladies in their "Evening Gowns" everyone looks Great!! I mean are these the same people that boarded only yesterday? Hey including me too! ;)Lana

[skydancing]

Wow we are travelling from New Zealand to Hong Kong to London to Wales to Dublin to Tuscany and then joining the cruise from Rome and then from Rome to Hong Kong and back to NZ. So we definitely do not want to take too much luggage with us. Some airlines allow so much but others less and it can cost a heap.

 

This holiday is our trip of a lifetime and one off but if you can imagine the costs from New Zealand then maybe you will understand why we are not keen on taking too much luggage.

 

To top that off us Kiwis are very laid back really when on holiday and I just hope people understand that we are used to wearing shorts/shortish pants and tops most of the time when on holiday. Have managed to talk hubby into buying a blue sports jacket but then we have to look at shoes, shirts, ties etc .. they all add up with weight! Thank goodness i have purchased a set of travel scales for weighing suitcases lol!

 

Hope to meet some of you onboard in September!! Watch out for the lady in shorts etc lol!! just kdding - will have some sundresses etc with me!

[iancal]

We stopped taking clothes for formal evenings by happenstance, not by design. On the second formal night of a cruise my DW said lets not bother with the MDR...the food is nothing special anymore, the whole process takes too long so lets just spend more time out and about on the ship. So we did not stop because I no longer wanted to 'dress up' for DW or vice versa. We had just had enough of it and it no longer felt special in any way. From time to time we do pack the clothes but it is very infrequent.

 

After that we never seemed to want to bother packing or wearing the formal clothes required so we seldom do any more. It is not out of disrespect-a formal evening or a seat cover on the chair does not enhance what is normally a regular run of the mill banquet meal for us. Others enjoy it and that is great...more power to them. I see no reason to cancel formal evenings as the cruise lines that we frequent always offer two venues. There is lots of room on the ship for both options.

[JJGlanton]

Wow we are travelling from New Zealand to Hong Kong to London to Wales to Dublin to Tuscany and then joining the cruise from Rome and then from Rome to Hong Kong and back to NZ. So we definitely do not want to take too much luggage with us. Some airlines allow so much but others less and it can cost a heap.

 

This holiday is our trip of a lifetime and one off but if you can imagine the costs from New Zealand then maybe you will understand why we are not keen on taking too much luggage.

 

To top that off us Kiwis are very laid back really when on holiday and I just hope people understand that we are used to wearing shorts/shortish pants and tops most of the time when on holiday. Have managed to talk hubby into buying a blue sports jacket but then we have to look at shoes, shirts, ties etc .. they all add up with weight! Thank goodness i have purchased a set of travel scales for weighing suitcases lol!

 

Hope to meet some of you onboard in September!! Watch out for the lady in shorts etc lol!! just kdding - will have some sundresses etc with me!

 

That sounds like a great trip skydancing :)

 

Please don't let the tone of some on this board intimidate you - the *vast* majority of people onboard will not have the slightest concern about how you are dressed. A sportcoat for your husband will be more than adequate for 'formal' occasions.

 

Enjoy!

[iancal]

Don't sweat the shoes. There are vigilant fashion police on board but to my knowledge there are no shoe police. At least not yet anyway.

[Gotta Go Cruisin]

We stopped taking clothes for formal evenings by happenstance, not by design. On the second formal night of a cruise my DW said lets not bother with the MDR...the food is nothing special anymore, the whole process takes too long so lets just spend more time out and about on the ship. So we did not stop because I no longer wanted to 'dress up' for DW or vice versa. We had just had enough of it and it no longer felt special in any way. From time to time we do pack the clothes but it is very infrequent.

 

After that we never seemed to want to bother packing or wearing the formal clothes required so we seldom do any more. It is not out of disrespect-a formal evening or a seat cover on the chair does not enhance what is normally a regular run of the mill banquet meal for us. Others enjoy it and that is great...more power to them. I see no reason to cancel formal evenings as the cruise lines that we frequent always offer two venues. There is lots of room on the ship for both options.

 

Nicely put and so very true for many of us. The DW and I have cruised 16 times and while Formal Nights are nice for some it's just become a bother for us. It is nice that so many others enjoy the experience, but so many others just don't. Nothing wrong with that. Enjoy the experience however you choose to participate. :)

[chrispb]

Wow we are travelling from New Zealand to Hong Kong to London to Wales to Dublin to Tuscany and then joining the cruise from Rome and then from Rome to Hong Kong and back to NZ. So we definitely do not want to take too much luggage with us. Some airlines allow so much but others less and it can cost a heap.

 

This holiday is our trip of a lifetime and one off but if you can imagine the costs from New Zealand then maybe you will understand why we are not keen on taking too much luggage.

 

To top that off us Kiwis are very laid back really when on holiday and I just hope people understand that we are used to wearing shorts/shortish pants and tops most of the time when on holiday. Have managed to talk hubby into buying a blue sports jacket but then we have to look at shoes, shirts, ties etc .. they all add up with weight! Thank goodness i have purchased a set of travel scales for weighing suitcases lol!

 

Hope to meet some of you onboard in September!! Watch out for the lady in shorts etc lol!! just kdding - will have some sundresses etc with me!

 

That sounds a great trip. You are not missing anything if you decide not to do formal. The racket in the MDR is awful - people yacking loudly, clanking cutlery, banging dishes, etc. The Lido is much more peaceful and your sundresses will be fine wherever you decide to dine.

Some people just don't realise that times have moved on. Ladies CAN go out without their gloves and wearing a hat.;)

[CamaroKid67]

As I perviously stated, I like putting on the Tux, getting my wife a flower and enjoying the "formal Evening".

 

So... when you booked your HAL cruise, did you know there was a formal night?

 

When I was last on HAL the majority of the passengers were nicely dressed, so I would argue that only a minority of folks don't dress and that is why the Lido is so peaceful.

 

 

If you don't want to dresss, the option is Freestyle with NCL. Not my choice!

[JJGlanton]

If you don't want to dresss, the option is Freestyle with NCL. Not my choice!

 

Your other option is to cruise with HAL and dress how you like, and not let the very few self-styled fashion police dictate your wardrobe choices.

[iancal]

The notion that people who prefer not to attend formal evenings in the MDR should choose another cruise line such as NCL freestyle makes no sense whatsoever.

 

The implication in that statement is that there is nothing to commend HAL to a cruiser other than formal evenings in the MDR.

 

I think that most people who cruise on HAL would agree that there are many other attributes that keep them coming back to HAL.

[jkrislc]

Just out of curiosity, what are the expectations for a 4 year old boy on formal night? He's growing like a weed, already 4 feet tall, and I'm not willing to go the tux route that he'll outgrow.

[CamaroKid67]

Let me clarify.... I was not suggesting that you NOT sail HAL if you did not want to dress up.

 

If Dressing up offends you enough to have to snipe those who do enjoy dressing up, the other option is NCL where there is not an orgainzed and advertised Formal Night.

 

I still don't understand why you would sail a line that is known to be a bit on the formal side when you have other choices... but, that obviously is your choice which I am not questioning. Just making an observation.

 

Cheers!

[Rutland Gate]

Let me clarify.... I was not suggesting that you NOT sail HAL if you did not want to dress up.

 

If Dressing up offends you enough to have to snipe those who do enjoy dressing up, the other option is NCL where there is not an orgainzed and advertised Formal Night.

 

I still don't understand why you would sail a line that is known to be a bit on the formal side when you have other choices... but, that obviously is your choice which I am not questioning. Just making an observation.

 

Cheers!

 

I agree. Cruising with Holland America Line is not for those on the cheap.

[JJGlanton]

If Dressing up offends you enough to have to snipe those who do enjoy dressing up, the other option is NCL where there is not an orgainzed and advertised Formal Night.

 

To be fair, I haven't seen anyone snipe at or criticize anyone who chooses to dress up. I certainly wouldn't *remotely* criticize anyone who decided to wear a tux or formal suit on formal night or any other night. What some people object to are the 'fashion bullies' who are trying to dictate to grown-ups what they should wear on formal nights.

 

For example, on another thread I was called a "clown" and a "bubba" who should be cruising on Carnival because I wore a sportcoat and a pair of khakis in the MDR on formal night. The sportcoat was dark and expensive - the khakis were clean and pressed. Also, *many* others were in the same room wearing jeans, polo shirts, etc.

 

That's when I realized that *some* people on these boards who berate anyone who deviates from HAL's non-mandatory suggested dress code need to be confronted - not because their minds will be changed, but for the sake of cruisers new to HAL who are looking for guidance on what to wear and pack. Those new cruisers need to know that the vast majority of HAL cruisers are not stuffy and uptight - and that it's fine to wear whatever makes you comfortable, even on formal night. Why be banished to the lido with its limited menu because of a few disgruntled self-appointed fashion guardians? :)

[Gotta Go Cruisin]

Let me clarify.... I was not suggesting that you NOT sail HAL if you did not want to dress up.

 

If Dressing up offends you enough to have to snipe those who do enjoy dressing up, the other option is NCL where there is not an orgainzed and advertised Formal Night.

 

I still don't understand why you would sail a line that is known to be a bit on the formal side when you have other choices... but, that obviously is your choice which I am not questioning. Just making an observation.

 

Cheers!

 

It seems like the Snipes have come from the "Formal" crowd. I personally enjoy seeing people enjoying themselves. If folks like to dress up I say Great, but please don't put down those who don't make the same Fashion choices.

[DancingGypsy]

Because the OP said she had been to Mexico many times. I was thinking she has never been on HAL and that was why she was asking... I have done most of the other lines that do Mexico and thought my response was appropoaite for the question. I thought my reply was specific to her question. I read the rules about hyjacking a thread and when I posted my Comment I thought I was following Retired Mustang.

 

Am I making sense?

U read my question so correctly......;)Trying Hal for the first time! Between u & Retired Mustang.........Im a avid cruiser, and have done the real dress-em-up routine but have noticed on these shorter/Mexican cruises not as many people get all decked out as say a longer European/Transatlantic cruise hmmmmmmmmmmm agreed? I guess sometimes most of us feel like playing it down a bit, and on the other hand sometimes we dont.......but have to say everybody looks better all-dressed-up:rolleyes:Lana

[bradpole]

To be fair, I haven't seen anyone snipe at or criticize anyone who chooses to dress up. I certainly wouldn't *remotely* criticize anyone who decided to wear a tux or formal suit on formal night or any other night. What some people object to are the 'fashion bullies' who are trying to dictate to grown-ups what they should wear on formal nights.

 

For example, on another thread I was called a "clown" and a "bubba" who should be cruising on Carnival because I wore a sportcoat and a pair of khakis in the MDR on formal night. The sportcoat was dark and expensive - the khakis were clean and pressed. Also, *many* others were in the same room wearing jeans, polo shirts, etc.

 

That's when I realized that *some* people on these boards who berate anyone who deviates from HAL's non-mandatory suggested dress code need to be confronted - not because their minds will be changed, but for the sake of cruisers new to HAL who are looking for guidance on what to wear and pack. Those new cruisers need to know that the vast majority of HAL cruisers are not stuffy and uptight - and that it's fine to wear whatever makes you comfortable, even on formal night. Why be banished to the lido with its limited menu because of a few disgruntled self-appointed fashion guardians? :)

 

I couldn't agree more!!!!!!

 

I scratch my head every time I read the comment, "if you don't want formal than cruise NCL."

 

So there is NOTHING besides a silly formal night that separates NCL from HAL? Personally I think there are many, many things that make me choose HAL over the competition. Formal Night is one negative out of many positives. I used to enjoy formal night, but the thrill is gone. The more I read comments from the fashion police criticizing people for wanting casual, the more I HATE formal night. Even when I loved formal night I NEVER, NEVER questioned or criticized someone for not dressing up. It is their vacation, just as it is my vacation. I choose to dress up, they don't....BIG DEAL! WHAT SOMEONE ELSE WEARS TO DINNER IN THE MDR HAS NO BEARING ON HOW I ENJOY MY MEAL! Call me silly if you want to, but it doesn't impact me one bit!

 

HAL and Celebrity should take note of Azamara, Regent, and Oceania. Country Club casual with the option to dress up IF YOU WISH! It makes so much more sense. Even Carnival has "elegant night" instead of formal night. In October we did a week on Carnival Freedom and a week on the Eurodam back to back. On Carnival's "elegant night" I have to say the vast majority of the passengers were very dressed up, even more so than the passengers on Eurodam. Perhaps making it optional makes it more appealing?

 

Just because someone wants to wear khakis and a polo shirt to the MDR instead of a tux they shouldn't be banished to the Lido (which is not even close to being the same) or room service.

 

Over on the Celebrity boards there are people freaking out over passengers wearing shorts to the theater on a casual night...why are they so upset? Because of another antiquated "rule" on what people wear. The cruise industry really needs to get with the times and drop these silly "dress codes."

 

Last month on the N. Amsterdam a waiter in the MDR commented to us that he LOVED the optional formal night our sailing had (we had a full ship charter). He said it was so refreshing not to have to listen to people complain about what others wore to dinner. Even the front end staff are tired of the fashion police! Those who wanted to dress, did. Those who didn't want to dress to the nines, didn't.

 

I'll step down from my soap box, so flame away....

 

(for the record, I have NEVER violated a dress code in the MDR. I enjoy dinner in the MDR, and put on a silly jacket and tie for the formal night. I just wish I didn't have to!)

[bradpole]

It seems like the Snipes have come from the "Formal" crowd. I personally enjoy seeing people enjoying themselves. If folks like to dress up I say Great, but please don't put down those who don't make the same Fashion choices.

 

I agree!!

 

In October I watched an older lady make a rude comment to a younger gentleman (probably 19ish) outside the MDR. It was on the precious formal night and he had on a pair of dark jeans (yes, jeans...GASP!!!) dark, clean, no holes, and nicely pressed. He had a button down dress shirt on with a sweater over that, and a dark blazer/suit jacket on. He looked like a typical teen/early 20's guy who dressed nice for the evening. I'm assuming he knew it was a formal night, and in his mind he dressed up. But because he didn't wear the "approved" clothing according the fashion police someone felt the need to make a snide comment to him and his parents. (for the record his father had a dark suit on and mom had a nice little dress) Before the father, or the young gentleman in question, could respond to he snide comment about his attire someone else nearby loudly said something like, "GET A LIFE! he looks fine!"

 

Lets just say it got ugly after that....

 

I had a jacket and tie on, did the young gentleman detract from my evening? NOT AT ALL! What someone else wears to dinner doesn't impact me!

[Gotta Go Cruisin]

Brad and JJ,

I couldn't agree with you more and I have learned a valuable lesson from listening to some of the advice that comes from these boards. Be careful ! My one and only HAL Cruise (14 Day Alaska) was nearly flawless. The one thing I would have changed would be to have ate in the MDR, but the DW and I stayed away based on the stuffy attitudes and advice that at times turned into nasty comments on these boards. I won't make that mistake again. HAL is a great line and is now one of our favorites. :)