Fantasy from Charleston = unrefined, uncivilized

[Jumbiecruiser]

What an excellent review. :D I found it amusing. Just because the OP sneers at just about everything (other than the soup) doesn't make his review any less reasonable than a glowing review. It's just one man's opinion.

 

I'm on Carnival next Spring. I'm disappointed to know that I won't have the pleasure of this old grump's company. :( :D

 

LOL!!!!! That could make for an entertaining cruise by having the OP on board. I enjoyed the review also.

[grabitall]

Sounded to me like a project in a creative writing class.:cool:

[FIVEONTHEAVENUE]

As a non-Carnival veteran cruiser, I had never stepped foot on a Carnival vessel. Those who know me well know I never travel on Carnival. Sure, I know about the product, who doesn't, but actually trying one was the result of a lost bet. Yes, I lost a bet with a friend who was going on a cruise; this cruise. My penalty as the looser was to actually go with him on this voyage. Again, for those who know me, this was a horrible price to pay. Since I honor my bets, I reluctantly purchased my own room at the last minute. Not much was left at the late date (3 weeks) so I settled for what was available, at minimum a window view. I set my expectations at an all time rock bottom. Most of my closest associates, friends and family were laughing at me on this one and rightly so.

 

PORTS

I have been to Nassau, Bahamas and Freeport scores of times so I wont comment on these ports other than to say that they are common ports. The island truck-stop of lower end cruises. Atlantis is an overblown, overrated place and I've never understood the attraction of visiting an island to see a modern hotel. Charleston's port needs work. It is not cruise friendly. When we returned, it was a cold raining day and the dirt floor area of the limo pick-up was under a plastic tent in a sea of mud because it was not paved. Rolling luggage a mess.

 

THE SHIP

The Fantasy is pushing 22 years old. It is old style glitzy like a cheap Vegas hotel not on the strip. Combine this with remodeled tacky and the faux cheesy, the flawed and the poorly designed and worn and you have an unattractive, out of date, out of vogue vessel with 10,000 coats of paint over rust and new carpet. The traditional promenade deck space is narrow. I've been on much older (and much grander) ships that put this one to shame. Passengers on this cruise weren't the least bit interested in the "ship" and knew little about cruising.

 

CARNIVAL

I must say, in deepest sincerity and humility, that this class of ship or cruise line is not for me. This review may be cruel to some but it is my review and the opinion of but one. I have always held a long standing and deep seated disdain for Carnival because of what their product and culture has done to the once glorious cruise world over the years. Their culture is a corporate buy-out culture and they have reduced many a great line to clones of their disrespect. However, it was not until this cruise that I fully understood the depth and the magnitude of why I stay so passionately far away from this line.

 

APPEAL

I had no idea how common, common could be. This was, without a shadow of a doubt, the lowest of the low in all cruise-dom for me. It is unquestionably a cruise for the very budget minded and while there is nothing wrong with a budget, other than it being a low budget; it does attract a certain element that I find unpleasant. At the Captain's cocktail party or whatever they called it on this particular ship, there were dollar off cocktails. A first. Most Captain's parties give at least one glass of something, even if it's cheap.

 

FELLOW PASSENGERS

Yes, it is Carnival and it is a "Fun Ship" only if this is one's idea of fun. Clearly it attracts the very rowdy, the wild, the uncivilized, the loud mouthed and tacky, the common, the foul mouthed, the buffet gluttons, the meat and three crowds, the uneducated, the untraveled and the ultra-budget vacationer. I saw families of four crammed into rooms that were the size of my bedroom closet. Most passengers looked like they shopped at either Ghetto-Fabulous or Bubba's Second Hand-Me-Down store. There were tattooed people galore; many with offensive body piercings. There were loads of thug-types wearing do-rags with sagging pants. Then there was the buffet crowd. Some half naked women were the size of Buicks and proud of it. Their significant others looked like they just got out of the county jail that morning. They had the nerve to be arrogant and abusive. Some of the most uncouth passengers I have ever seen at sea and I've been cruising the world since 1976. A ship employee told me the previous week was far worse. I can't imagine.

 

STATEROOM

The stateroom was a little dusty, smudged windows and obviously rarely fully cleaned. The air is on constant freezing mode with no thermostat control. This must be for those always hot I suppose. The TV is simple with limited channels compared to other lines. The staff, while smiling and friendly, are not going to go much beyond that. For an old ship, the room was ample for one person, but only ample. The bed and bedding was comfortable and the location was fine even though I was below the strength deck which I never am. It is an extremely smoking friendly ship because you can smoke just about anywhere save the dining room. Well over 50% were smokers.

 

ENTERTAINMENT

The theater revues and shows are very good and extremely well done. The late night comedy is typical, vulgar and cheap. No major talent there. The amateur night is pure torture from popular to right wing religious. Plenty affection and support for the patriotic (a la southern style). Casino was average. No club or lounge was not loud with either electric guitars, rock or boom-box venues.

 

RELAXATION

There was no peace, no quiet, no solitude anywhere on board other than in my stateroom at night, if I was lucky. That Serenity relaxation deck is a joke. It is neither serene nor relaxing. Go for morning coffee ? You are met with blasting Reggae first thing in the morning. Loud, loud, loud. If you're looking for string quartets or Chopin piano forget it. That music is non existent. Fantasy doesn't believe in peace and quiet anywhere. They believe in selling, not sailing. It is a flea-market of sales and marketing. A blitz of drink pushing and picture taking. A relentless vacuum of cash. A floating cash cow complete with yelling drunk crowds, packs of teens running around everywhere at all hours through halls and a general frat-house atmosphere. The worn-out cruise director, asked passengers to remember that we were young once and to look past this inconvenience.

 

FOOD, DINING, BUFFETS

Dining is low grade. The dining room decor deceives. It looks almost old world for a second, considering the two decade old design, but the menus and the presentations are pedestrian and lack creativity. The food quality is poor; very poor. The beef they serve is as tough and "choice" as mass buying power can muster. No prime cuts here. The vegetables are the same regardless of the entree. They had lobster on night two, but that was the only highlight other than greasy escargot. The soups are surprisingly excellent but the rest of the courses are below average, simple and uncreative. The desserts are as boring as they are cheap. The wait staff is average and are not going out of their way to impress. One waiter told a guest, it's too late to ask for a second dish of ice cream at lunch. "You should have asked earlier." he said with a smirk. A tiny sushi stand is limited pre-prepared rolls only, no special creations. The waiters lack clarity in their English skills. Though they try hard to communicate while attempting to make up for what is basically a bad product (by replacing dishes with other selections) there is only so much they can do. Plenty of Cowboy hats, Baseball caps, Nascar caps and vulgar t-shirts.

 

There is no escape from this room other than the cafeteria buffet which is similar to any cheap land based cafeteria. There is no specialty restaurant, nothing is gourmet and I doubt many on board would appreciate it or pay more for it. There are no formal nights and no formal wine stewards and the wine selection is abysmal. This is the worst food yet. If fine dining and five star service is your love, as it is mine, then you are "lost at sea" for 5 days. Forget it. Buffets at lunch were hamburgers, hot dogs, pizzas and tacos along with various salads and cold cuts. Breakfast benine but breakfast is breakfast and if you seek hard enough, there is actually an omlette station which they seem to keep a secret.

 

In my dining room (one of two) the nightly nonsense of Gabriel, the much celebrated restaurant Maitre D, was not something I am accustomed to on lines I usually travel. Gabriel's regularly scheduled interruption of the main course with his boisterous microphone "HELLOOOOOOOoo" His hip-hop music, dancing, lights being turned out to blaring club music and his endless demanding of responses via audience participation was disgusting and was sure to ruin an already unpalatable dinner. Gabriel may be a clown in the dining room but in person he was rather cold and rude when attempting to make pleasant conversation while trying to get a table seating change on boarding day. I did not find him amusing in the least.

 

CONCLUSION

Usually I am sad as a cruise draws to it's close even after years of sailing, transatlantic crossings and cruises. Not this time. I rejoiced it was history when we docked. After reflecting later in the week I realized that my typical cruises normally cost 8-10 times more than this cruise cost. The end result ? You get what you pay for. It goes without say that I will never place such a wager again. This cruise is now over, but never forgotten. What I experienced was nothing short of an uncultured, uncivilized and unrefined five days with passengers who seemed right at home with this style of cruising. If you scramble the name "FANTASY" it can spell F.Y. SATAN.

 

Obviously after seeing some of the ships you've sailed you were definitely not comparing apples to apples. But just one question. Did your friend enjoy their trip?

[stewpapa]

OP,

Thanks for my laugh for the day.

[Peachie1]

Hey Gus, thanks for the laugh! You DO know how you can tell a 'low class' person, don't you? They are the ones talking about how much 'class' they have...

 

 

Peaches

[jimbo5544]

Gustavas,

 

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. In my opinion, you are that person who doesn't know the product.

 

I don't know you, don't want to know you, and look forward to never sailing with you.

Well said....;)

[Jumbiecruiser]

I'm sorry that you found Carnival to be such an inferior product. I hope that you enjoy your future cruises on X and Oceania.

 

I'm surprised that your voyage on Majesty of the Seas met with your approval. Nearly every cruise travel writer in existence has ranked Carnival's food as the best of any mass market cruise line.

 

:)

 

 

So he can enjoy one cruise and not another? Just because a cruise line may not meet your needs does not mean that it won't another. Also, travel writers are no more relevant than your or I.

 

Mach,

 

Wondered about that too. We almost experienced her, but luckily read a review here first.

 

So should we go by what we read on the boards or not? You don't like what he wrote about Carnival but believed what someone else wrote about another cruise line. :rolleyes: I guess no one should cruise on Carnival by what the OP wrote in their review. Is that how it goes?

[dyjack]

Unbelievable. Seems as though OP was looking for fault everywhere instead of trying to enjoy the ship.

 

I've never been on a CCL voyage but I highly doubt they'd still be making money if things were as bad as he made out.

[Texas_firefighter]

 

Yes, it is Carnival and it is a "Fun Ship" only if this is one's idea of fun. Clearly it attracts the very rowdy, the wild, the uncivilized, the loud mouthed and tacky, the common, the foul mouthed, the buffet gluttons, the meat and three crowds, the uneducated, the untraveled and the ultra-budget vacationer.

 

 

I take offense to that....I am definately not tacky...:rolleyes:

[KandCsailing]

I sense that you are a "mature" gentleman, probably 65+ and so picky that everyone would NOT want to serve you our help you.

Apparently they are only 49 from another "review" they posted.

 

I like 'honest' reviews; but this one has way too much negativity to be believed. I read their reviews of other ships also and there is a repetitive trend that the OP is never happy except with their beloved Celebrity line, which in their mind may also be going downhill with no one carrying hand luggage or escorting them to their cabin anymore.

I shall treat them all like a Stephen King novel...a wordy bit of horror fiction writing.

 

I am "common"...I'm only one of the other 6,852,472,822 people on this planet. Don't worry Gustavus, I've removed you from that number.

[Cobra1365]

I am not a Carnival cheerleader. I like to hear an honest review..both the good and bad. But, honest either way.

 

I also recognize everyone has and is entitled to their opinion. In MY opinion, this was not a review, but rather a vent over having lost a bet. It was clear that you went into the cruise with a negative mind set as your first line indicates.

 

I've never understood such negative people. My wife and I always make the best of a situation. If we had lost a bet where we HAD to take a cruise, I think our mindset would be "Damn...forced to go on vacation again...does life get any better?"

 

Sir, my suggestion would be stick to the cruise lines you enjoy and if you HAVE to take a cruise on another line again, look for the positives.

 

Good day.

[Parkay]

The funny part is that by writing this review, he has proven himself to be far more classless than anyone I've ever encountered on a Carnival ship. Does cruising on Carnival put me into the category that he described? Count me in if it means I'll never have to cruise with the likes of him.

[bumorgan]

Gustavas

 

Don't hold back, tell us how you really felt;)

[michigyrl]

Good Lord....could you imagine being placed at the same dining table as him?? It was his fellow diners that lost the bet! :eek:

 

Note to self to buy a package of fake tattoos, some magnetic piercings, and a marker to blacken out my teeth just in case I do get seated next to Gustavas' twin. :D

[pghsteelerfan]

 

FELLOW PASSENGERS

Yes, it is Carnival and it is a "Fun Ship" only if this is one's idea of fun. Clearly it attracts the very rowdy, the wild, the uncivilized, the loud mouthed and tacky, the common, the foul mouthed, the buffet gluttons, the meat and three crowds, the uneducated, the untraveled and the ultra-budget vacationer. I saw families of four crammed into rooms that were the size of my bedroom closet. Most passengers looked like they shopped at either Ghetto-Fabulous or Bubba's Second Hand-Me-Down store. There were tattooed people galore; many with offensive body piercings. There were loads of thug-types wearing do-rags with sagging pants. Then there was the buffet crowd. Some half naked women were the size of Buicks and proud of it. Their significant others looked like they just got out of the county jail that morning. They had the nerve to be arrogant and abusive. Some of the most uncouth passengers I have ever seen at sea and I've been cruising the world since 1976. A ship employee told me the previous week was far worse. I can't imagine.

 

Gustavas, might I suggest this valuable website when planning future cruises: http://cruisett.com/ That way, you can check the ports of call to see which ships will also be visiting certain ports so you can avoid those ports that will also have a Carnival ship visiting the same day. Heaven forbid you'd have to be in port on the same day as and find yourself among "the very rowdy, the wild, the uncivilized, the loud mouthed and tacky, the common, the foul mouthed, the buffet gluttons, the meat and three crowds, the uneducated, the untraveled and the ultra-budget vacationer".

 

 

 

 

[jhale]

 

FELLOW PASSENGERS

Yes, it is Carnival and it is a "Fun Ship" only if this is one's idea of fun. Clearly it attracts the very rowdy, the wild, the uncivilized, the loud mouthed and tacky, the common, the foul mouthed, the buffet gluttons, the meat and three crowds, the uneducated, the untraveled and the ultra-budget vacationer. I saw families of four crammed into rooms that were the size of my bedroom closet. Most passengers looked like they shopped at either Ghetto-Fabulous or Bubba's Second Hand-Me-Down store. There were tattooed people galore; many with offensive body piercings. There were loads of thug-types wearing do-rags with sagging pants. Then there was the buffet crowd. Some half naked women were the size of Buicks and proud of it. Their significant others looked like they just got out of the county jail that morning. They had the nerve to be arrogant and abusive. Some of the most uncouth passengers I have ever seen at sea and I've been cruising the world since 1976. A ship employee told me the previous week was far worse. I can't imagine.

 

Gustavas, might I suggest this valuable website when planning future cruises: http://cruisett.com/ That way, you can check the ports of call to see which ships will also be visiting certain ports so you can avoid those ports that will also have a Carnival ship visiting the same day. Heaven forbid you'd have to be in port on the same day as and find yourself among "the very rowdy, the wild, the uncivilized, the loud mouthed and tacky, the common, the foul mouthed, the buffet gluttons, the meat and three crowds, the uneducated, the untraveled and the ultra-budget vacationer".

 

 

 

 

Great post :)

[cruzegurl104]

This is HILARIOUS!! I kept telling myself that his review was a joke, that it couldn't POSSIBLY be real. Anywho,,

 

Apparently tho, since I'm so "tacky, unrefined, untraveled, and let's not forget "(my personal favorite) the "ultra-budget vactioner", I have no idea what I'm talking about.

 

Mr. Gustavas, may I congratulate you on a job well done, accomplishing nothing other than the fact that other people are laughing at you, not with you. I'm one of those. I'm laughing because I couldn't imagine being THAT miserable. I will tell you that anytime my dear husband and I can cruise, it's a WONDERFUL thing for us. Ever heard of this , "A bad day on a cruise ship is better than any good day at work" ??? After all, arn't vacations what you make of them? Oh, that's right... you dont know the meaning of that 3 letter word... FUN!!

 

I hope that whatever cruise you end up on next, you can enjoy it. Life is too short to be so critical. But, thank you for making me laugh today, I needed it!!

[asb2164]

I do not agree with all of you that would not want to cruise with Gus I think it would be awesome cruising with such a well traveled person such as Gus.

[cruzegurl104]

I do not agree with all of you that would not want to cruise with Gus I think it would be awesome cruising with such a well traveled person such as Gus.

 

 

haha!! To each his own, it would definitly be interesting!!!! :eek::rolleyes:

[hoop4321]

while reading the OP original post, i had a vision of the food critic from ratatouille.

[fin]

I do not agree with all of you that would not want to cruise with Gus I think it would be awesome cruising with such a well traveled person such as Gus.

 

I guess this is a good place to respond. Someone linked one other of his reviews, and if he is to be believed, he spent a thousand dollars US in a single night in one hotel stay in Barcelona. I am not going to take the trouble to look on-line to see if said hotel has indeed those kinds of suite rates, but I am pretty sure they do. It included a night out at a restaurant by Mercedes car service.

 

Personally, I think that the culture shock would be JUST as extreme if some of the people posting here (not all) were suddenly thrust into HIS world of Chopin, wealthy and cultured and well traveled fellow passengers and all the perks that having a lot of disposable income place at your disposal.

 

I have only one Carnival cruise, and I delayed a long time before booking it because I tend to be a quiet, solitary person who does not drink much. The reputed ambiance of Carnival did not bode well, compatability-wise.

 

BUT---it was a 14 day Panama canal transit, and I was basically assured that this fact weeded out a lot of the people about whom the OP wrote to open this thread.

 

So, I went, enjoyed myself, met a lot of nice people who are like myself and had a good enough time to subsequently book a half dozen more cruises, albeit not Carnival.

 

The astute here may discover that I, too, have no 'friends' on this board, and may draw the same conclusions as they did from the fact that the OP, Chairman of the Board, also has no such friends.

 

Others may conclude that he has other things to do beside count posts on this board and make snide comments to people with low post counts or who express an opinion at variance with their own. I am grateful for the post and will, when time permits, read some of his others.

[GaNavy]

Dear Gustavas,

Next time you lose a bet, spare us.

 

When I think of all the electrons that were sacrificed to create your review, it truly breaks my heart.

 

I have made a substantial contribution in your name to Save The Electrons, in the hope that they can dissuade the next feckless snob from wasting energy that otherwise might be used to run the blender or provide the juice for watching the next "Real Housewives" episode.

 

I love Chopin, in fact I've probably made as much classical music as you've heard in your life. But I go to Carnival for a different experience.

 

You could have enjoyed your time on the ocean with your friend, but you chose to be miserable instead. You had it coming.

 

Better luck next time. I had always wanted to try a cruise on Celebrity, but if you are typical of their passenger profile, I think I'll pass.

 

Unless you can guarantee me that you won't be on my cruise.

[MagnoliaFly]

I was waiting for the April fools...

[shwabob]

I have news for you, Longhorns and Selmon's are not nice restuarants. They are no different than your neighborhood Chili's or TGI Friday's. Shula's is a small step up.

 

Well this was when Longhorn was somewhat a rarity almost 10 years ago. They've changed quite a bit from when I used to work there, but it's still more than acceptable for the price. Selmans I've also noticed a change since they started doing lunch a few years back. Only place that hasn't hardly changed has been Shula's.

[pghsteelerfan]

 

Great post :)

 

I usually try to remain neutral, but this time I could not resist - I tried, I really did, but just couldn't. :)

 

What keeps coming to mind is the movie "Caddyshack" and Ted Knight's snobby character having to deal with a whole ship full of people like the character that Rodney Dangerfield played.

 

This just keeps getting better and better as the day goes on. Thank all of you, including you Gus, for the entertainment. :)