The Crew Remembers You? Not Really.

[aohkay]

Thanks for that information. Not sure why anyone cares if they are remembered or not. Maybe those who are remembered can now start wondering if they were the hellish or heavenly past passengers.

 

Recognition makes guests/ patrons feel special. In the hospitality industry, making people feel special is crucial to the bottom line.

[circuitrider]

Recognition makes guests/ patrons feel special. In the hospitality industry, making people feel special is crucial to the bottom line.

 

It would creep me out. The only thing that should make us stand out is that we're a family of four. We tip, but not extravagantly. I might ask if they have caesar salad even if it's not on the menu, but I'm not asking for the entree from last night. Hrm, well I HAVE ordered dessert off the kids' menu more than once, perhaps that could make me memorable?

 

But yes, it's in the employee's best interests to recognize you, to make you feel special, so you'll keep coming back and/or tip extra. Whether they work hard to memorize your names, or if they have a list somewhere, I dunno...I just know that anything they can do to remember you, is probably a good thing for them. Are you going to seek out the bartender that has trouble remembering how you like your drink, or are you going to go out of your way to see the bartender that not only remembered your drink after the first time you ordered it, but remembers it from your last cruise two years ago?

[BruceMuzz]

There is a Cruise Director on Silver Sea, Fernando Olivera, who has been able for the past 25 years to remember the name of EVERY passenger he has ever met on a ship. He not only remembers the names from the current cruise, but even remembers your name 10 years later.

 

Holland America Line has a half dozen restaurant waiters who have a contest to remember the names of every passenger they meet during the current cruise.

Many passengers believe that these fellows are 100% accurate.

More likely 85% - but that is still remarkable considering the numbers.

[meggie711]

It would creep me out. The only thing that should make us stand out is that we're a family of four. We tip, but not extravagantly. I might ask if they have caesar salad even if it's not on the menu, but I'm not asking for the entree from last night. Hrm, well I HAVE ordered dessert off the kids' menu more than once, perhaps that could make me memorable?

 

But yes, it's in the employee's best interests to recognize you, to make you feel special, so you'll keep coming back and/or tip extra. Whether they work hard to memorize your names, or if they have a list somewhere, I dunno...I just know that anything they can do to remember you, is probably a good thing for them. Are you going to seek out the bartender that has trouble remembering how you like your drink, or are you going to go out of your way to see the bartender that not only remembered your drink after the first time you ordered it, but remembers it from your last cruise two years ago?

 

That reminds me.. all of the names I remember from the employees were excellent waitstaff and bartenders who knew me immediately after the first meeting. I don't sail often enough to run into the same people again and again, so it's pretty darn cool for me to order a drink on day 1 and have the employee hollering my name from across the pool to see if I am ok by day 2. Indy on the Mariner OTS, BingBing on Sovereign OTS, Dane on Mariner OTS, MuMu on Monarch OTS.. yep, I remember the great ones!

[circuitrider]

That reminds me.. all of the names I remember from the employees were excellent waitstaff and bartenders who knew me immediately after the first meeting. I don't sail often enough to run into the same people again and again, so it's pretty darn cool for me to order a drink on day 1 and have the employee hollering my name from across the pool to see if I am ok by day 2. Indy on the Mariner OTS, BingBing on Sovereign OTS, Dane on Mariner OTS, MuMu on Monarch OTS.. yep, I remember the great ones!

 

And you were more likely to order from them and thus increase their tips. Guy did a good job.

 

That's one reason I would never be able to work on a cruise ship in one of those roles (bartender, waitstaff, etc.), I am absolutely horrible with faces and names. I can't remember you after spending an hour with you. I'm starting to remember some people's faces and names in my daughter's playgroup, and we've been going for a number of months now (1.5-2 hours a week). You'd have to practically live on the ship, and I might remember you by day 10?

[sail7seas]

There is a Cruise Director on Silver Sea, Fernando Olivera, who has been able for the past 25 years to remember the name of EVERY passenger he has ever met on a ship. He not only remembers the names from the current cruise, but even remembers your name 10 years later.

 

Holland America Line has a half dozen restaurant waiters who have a contest to remember the names of every passenger they meet during the current cruise.

Many passengers believe that these fellows are 100% accurate.

More likely 85% - but that is still remarkable considering the numbers.

 

 

Ahha.......

 

Hunky Dory and John Wayne are two that come to mind. :D

They used to hand out trays in Lido but seeing there are no trays in Lido these days, unless they are in your section in the MDR, we don't see them anymore.

These fellows used to get great tips from what I've heard. :)

Guests were so impressed with the effort they made to remember everyone, they said thank you in the internationally accepted manner. :)

 

[BruceMuzz]

The percentage of returning passengers on most sailings might be 10. For an average ship with 3000 passengers, that means maybe 300 people. It wouldn't take more than two or three minutes to skim them all.

 

The percentage of returning passengers varies widely by cruise line company.

The low end is 30%.

On very popular lines like HAL, returning passengers are often nearly 100%.

[printingchick]

Reverse the perspective. How many staff names do we remember? Why do you remember the names of those staff members? For me, it's those with whom I connected on some level. That usually comes from friendly conversation. Some staff feel more like friends after a week on board, during which you found time to discuss family members and share personal stories. It's part of what makes cruising such a special experience.

[ducklite]

Reverse the perspective. How many staff names do we remember? Why do you remember the names of those staff members? For me, it's those with whom I connected on some level. That usually comes from friendly conversation. Some staff feel more like friends after a week on board, during which you found time to discuss family members and share personal stories. It's part of what makes cruising such a special experience.

 

Cruise ship staff never feel like "friends." They feel like people who have offered some level of service be it good or bad, but their are neither my friend nor someone I really care to have more than a light conversation with. I might ask if they have children or if they are from a larger city or a small town, but otherwise I don't want or need their life story any more than I want the same from the person who checks me in to the hotel or the pilot who flies my plane.

 

I got off my last cruise a couple months ago. I remember the names of the Captains--had dinner with one and cocktails with another. I remember the name of the chief engineer because he and my husband spoke several times about "engineering stuff." I remember the name of the bartender who regularly poured things he wasn't really supposed to for us. And I remember the name of the server who brought me that evenings dinner menu every night so we could put together a meal I could have with my allergies. If I thought about it I could come up with three, maybe four other names. That's it.

 

I don't remember a single name of a single person I sailed with last October. I have no reason to.

[Hlitner]

Cruise ship staff never feel like "friends." They feel like people who have offered some level of service be it good or bad, but their are neither my friend nor someone I really care to have more than a light conversation with. .......

 

I guess this explains why you are not remembered by many staff. It is a two way street and when you show some interest in crew members and treat them as friends (and as we said before,,,we do have quite a few real friends among cruise ship staff) they will often return the friendship in kind.... We have no alterior motives other then we find crew members (on some lines) to really appreciate passengers who treat the as friends rather then servants and, in the case of officers and senior staff, it can also result in some after hours socialization that is fun and informative. It does sometimes also return benefits (although that is not our motive) in the way of extra special service, free drinks (Officers and senior staff will often buy drinks for their friends), and other intangible benefits. Being friendly with senior staff in the various dining rooms can also result in special dish requests being granted. Reading your post (partially quoted above) reminds me a little of the very old cruise tale about a very elegant lady who was cruising on the original Queen Mary. When she was invited to dine with the Captain she politely declined by saying "Sir, I never dine with the hired help."

 

Hank

[fabnfortysomething]

I guess this explains why you are not remembered by many staff. It is a two way street and when you show some interest in crew members and treat them as friends (and as we said before,,,we do have quite a few real friends among cruise ship staff) they will often return the friendship in kind.... We have no alterior motives other then we find crew members (on some lines) to really appreciate passengers who treat the as friends rather then servants and, in the case of officers and senior staff, it can also result in some after hours socialization that is fun and informative. It does sometimes also return benefits (although that is not our motive) in the way of extra special service, free drinks (Officers and senior staff will often buy drinks for their friends), and other intangible benefits. Being friendly with senior staff in the various dining rooms can also result in special dish requests being granted. Reading your post (partially quoted above) reminds me a little of the very old cruise tale about a very elegant lady who was cruising on the original Queen Mary. When she was invited to dine with the Captain she politely declined by saying "Sir, I never dine with the hired help."

 

Hank

 

oh another post which makes me join the group asking for a "like " button as on facebook

[Cruise2XTC]

We have had similar experiences as other members. Our favorite is an Asst Waiter that we had on our first cruise who remembered us by name 2 years later and remebered family members that had traveled with us on the prior trip. We saw him in the MDR on the first night of the new cruise. He stopped what he was doing at a table and gave my wife a hug. We spent the first cruise engaging with him around the ship and on a beach in Cabo as well. It was nice to see him again as he had promoted to Head Waiter. I honestly believe they remember those that engage with them and are special just as we do with those that make our trips special.

[Hlitner]

The last post reminds us of our first cruise ship crew friend. About 30 years ago we took a cruise on the old Sun Viking (RCCL) and had a fantastic waiter (to this day the best waiter we have had anywhere) from England named Gary Branch. During the crew we chatted with him, learned about his personal life, job, etc. About 6 or 7 years later we were on the same ship and were walking by the pursers desk when I heard an English voice say my name. I turned and there was Gary...who was then the dining room manager of the same ship. He quickly said he wanted us to dine at the Captains table and we declined because we were traveling with our friends (had a table for 4) who were on their first cruise. Gary said "no problem" and invited the 4 of us to dine at the Captains table the next formal night. At the Captains table...Gary insisted on personally waiting on us which prompted the Captain to ask us "who do you know" that you get my dining room manager as a personal waiter. In an aside, Gary went on to marry a wonderful lady who also worked on that ship (we kept in touch) and for several years ran a training center in England where he trained waiters for RCCL (or so he said).

 

It is sad to us that some folks just do not want to understand that the crew are people too....who work very hard to make everyone's voyage a good one. Some of these folks can become lifelong friends. We will soon be going on another cruise (with Celebrity) where we know the Hotel Manager whose gf recently had their first child and are looking forward to hearing all the news. On our most recent Prinsendam cruise our table mates were very friendly with one of the officers (who joined us for dinner) and she actually knitted a baby blanket for his newborn which she gave him at the table. There are lots of stories like this about passengers becoming good friends with various crew members.

 

Hank

[ducklite]

I guess this explains why you are not remembered by many staff.

 

Maybe because I haven't sailed the same ship twice. Actually long story short I recently found out that indeed at least one of the crew from my recent cruise remembered me, and I got a message thanking me for the tip that I left for him at guest services as I didn't see him at the end of the cruise. Perhaps it was the generous tip and nice note that was wrapped around the cash that he remembered me? That doesn't mean were are friends.

 

It is a two way street and when you show some interest in crew members and treat them as friends (and as we said before,,,we do have quite a few real friends among cruise ship staff) they will often return the friendship in kind....

 

I'm cordial but they aren't my friend and I have no reason to think of them as such. I fly generally two out of three weeks a month. Almost always I have the same gate agent. I've spoken to her enough to know that she likes her coffee strong and black. When I have time I'll grab her a cup at the Cuban place post security. That doesn't mean I want to befriend her, it's just a nice thing to do for someone with a stressful job. We recognize each other, we know each other's name, but we are not friends.

 

We have no alterior motives other then we find crew members (on some lines) to really appreciate passengers who treat the as friends rather then servants and, in the case of officers and senior staff, it can also result in some after hours socialization that is fun and informative.

 

Just because I have no desire to befriend them it doesn't mean that I treat them poorly. I treat them with respect, I'm polite and cordial.

 

It does sometimes also return benefits (although that is not our motive) in the way of extra special service, free drinks (Officers and senior staff will often buy drinks for their friends), and other intangible benefits.

 

Bartenders who are well tipped will do the same. And frankly I'm not about to chum up to someone to get a free drink. If I want a drink I'll buy one.

 

Being friendly with senior staff in the various dining rooms can also result in special dish requests being granted. Reading your post (partially quoted above) reminds me a little of the very old cruise tale about a very elegant lady who was cruising on the original Queen Mary. When she was invited to dine with the Captain she politely declined by saying "Sir, I never dine with the hired help."

 

Hank

 

I have never had the need to involve the captain to get my dinner prepared the way I want it or to get a special request met by the kitchen. I don't treat them with disdain and am polite and cordial, but they are not friends anymore than the nurse who takes my blood pressure or the lawyer who prepared my will, and to think of them as such is puzzling to me.

[ducklite]

The last post reminds us of our first cruise ship crew friend. About 30 years ago we took a cruise on the old Sun Viking (RCCL) and had a fantastic waiter (to this day the best waiter we have had anywhere) from England named Gary Branch. During the crew we chatted with him, learned about his personal life, job, etc. About 6 or 7 years later we were on the same ship and were walking by the pursers desk when I heard an English voice say my name. I turned and there was Gary...who was then the dining room manager of the same ship. He quickly said he wanted us to dine at the Captains table and we declined because we were traveling with our friends (had a table for 4) who were on their first cruise. Gary said "no problem" and invited the 4 of us to dine at the Captains table the next formal night. At the Captains table...Gary insisted on personally waiting on us which prompted the Captain to ask us "who do you know" that you get my dining room manager as a personal waiter. In an aside, Gary went on to marry a wonderful lady who also worked on that ship (we kept in touch) and for several years ran a training center in England where he trained waiters for RCCL (or so he said).

 

It is sad to us that some folks just do not want to understand that the crew are people too....who work very hard to make everyone's voyage a good one. Some of these folks can become lifelong friends. We will soon be going on another cruise (with Celebrity) where we know the Hotel Manager whose gf recently had their first child and are looking forward to hearing all the news. On our most recent Prinsendam cruise our table mates were very friendly with one of the officers (who joined us for dinner) and she actually knitted a baby blanket for his newborn which she gave him at the table. There are lots of stories like this about passengers becoming good friends with various crew members.

 

Hank

 

If you choose to try to befriend them, great for you But I tend to know people for quite some time and much better than a few random conversations will allow before I call them a friend. Perhaps our interpretation of the word is different. I have many associates, acquaintances, and colleagues, but I keep the circle of people I'd call "friend" very tight.

[rotting_hell]

If you choose to try to befriend them, great for you But I tend to know people for quite some time and much better than a few random conversations will allow before I call them a friend. Perhaps our interpretation of the word is different. I have many associates, acquaintances, and colleagues, but I keep the circle of people I'd call "friend" very tight.

 

I agree totally. It takes time to actually become friends with anyone.

 

On the other hand I enjoy learning about the different cultures crew members came from. The crew members also seem to love asking questions of my culture and how we live.

 

I look forward to this on every cruise.

 

I have been on most cruises twice with and some of the crew even remember what I drink. Good or bad not sure. :o

[circuitrider]

If you choose to try to befriend them, great for you But I tend to know people for quite some time and much better than a few random conversations will allow before I call them a friend. Perhaps our interpretation of the word is different. I have many associates, acquaintances, and colleagues, but I keep the circle of people I'd call "friend" very tight.

 

I think that's it. People like to brag how they have hundreds (or thousands) of friends on Facebook. I brag that I have just over 20...because I'm VERY selective about who I call a friend. Ok, yeah it's fine to have acquaintances as friends on facebook, that's not the point. Someone you just met on a cruise and saw repeatedly over seven days...I wouldn't consider them a friend. Someone you spent significant time with over the course of months or years...ok, now that's plausible.

[Hlitner]

I think that's it. People like to brag how they have hundreds (or thousands) of friends on Facebook. I brag that I have just over 20...because I'm VERY selective about who I call a friend. Ok, yeah it's fine to have acquaintances as friends on facebook, that's not the point. Someone you just met on a cruise and saw repeatedly over seven days...I wouldn't consider them a friend. Someone you spent significant time with over the course of months or years...ok, now that's plausible.

 

What you say might apply to shorter cruises such as 7 days. But we tend to take longer cruises and when you spend 62 days (our last voyage) on a small ship and chat (and drink) with a crew member every day you tend to become real friends. In the case of this latest cruise we were able to spend time with a particular officer we had befriendeed on an earlier 42 day cruise. So, 104 days, of socilaizing with the same guy does form the basis for good friendships. We have neighbors that have been next door for over 30 years that we have not seen as much.

 

We might also consider that this thread started with a poster saying that cruise members do not even remember passengers....which is simply not always true. In fact, we know one Holland America Captain who married a passenger and has been married for quite a few years (many Prinsendam fans can quickly guess about whom I speak). They met on a cruise, got married, had a daughter (who is a delight) etc etc. And all this happened on a relatively short cruise. And the Captain, who had been a very long time bachelor, seems to still have a pretty decent marriage quite a few years later (just saw him, his wife and daughter) on a recent trip.

 

What I really find interesting about this thread is why anyone would insist that passengers and crew members cannot become real friends. It sounds more like a personal problem rather then a fact.

 

Hank

[grand isle joe]

I think that's it. People like to brag how they have hundreds (or thousands) of friends on Facebook. I brag that I have just over 20...because I'm VERY selective about who I call a friend. Ok, yeah it's fine to have acquaintances as friends on facebook, that's not the point. Someone you just met on a cruise and saw repeatedly over seven days...I wouldn't consider them a friend. Someone you spent significant time with over the course of months or years...ok, now that's plausible.

 

 

.....BRAVO....good post....:)

[circuitrider]

What you say might apply to shorter cruises such as 7 days. But we tend to take longer cruises and when you spend 62 days (our last voyage) on a small ship and chat (and drink) with a crew member every day you tend to become real friends. In the case of this latest cruise we were able to spend time with a particular officer we had befriendeed on an earlier 42 day cruise. So, 104 days, of socilaizing with the same guy does form the basis for good friendships. We have neighbors that have been next door for over 30 years that we have not seen as much.

 

But MOST cruises aren't 62+ days. And I would agree, I think it's definitely possible to form a "true" friendship over the course of months (62 days definitely equals at least two months).

 

We might also consider that this thread started with a poster saying that cruise members do not even remember passengers....which is simply not always true. In fact, we know one Holland America Captain who married a passenger and has been married for quite a few years (many Prinsendam fans can quickly guess about whom I speak). They met on a cruise, got married, had a daughter (who is a delight) etc etc. And all this happened on a relatively short cruise. And the Captain, who had been a very long time bachelor, seems to still have a pretty decent marriage quite a few years later (just saw him, his wife and daughter) on a recent trip.

 

Ok, they met, got married, and had a daughter all on a relatively short cruise??!! :eek: Heh...I know what you mean, but I'd argue that the BASIS of a strong friendship/relationship started on a short cruise and they realized that it could turn into something more. Hey, my wife and I have been married for 50+ years...OUCH! Ok, she just informed me it's only been 12 years, it just FEELS like over 50...*ducks this time* Anyways, there was a time when we only knew each other for a few days, and I wouldn't have said she was a close friend at that time...but knew that it could definitely happen. So we kept spending time together, and the rest is history (hrm, why is she screaming "YOU'RE about to be history!" at me?).

 

What I really find interesting about this thread is why anyone would insist that passengers and crew members cannot become real friends. It sounds more like a personal problem rather then a fact.

 

Oh, I'm sure it can happen. I'm also equally sure that most people who say they are good friends with crew members they only saw sporadically on a 7 day cruise (or even a couple of 7 day cruises) may be mistaking acquaintances with friends. Acquaintances are people you share a story with about the time you were in a Tijuana jail cell with no recollection of how you got there...a friend is someone you tried to call to bail you out (until you realize he's in the cell next to you). :D

[ducklite]

but most cruises aren't 62+ days. And i would agree, i think it's definitely possible to form a "true" friendship over the course of months (62 days definitely equals at least two months).

 

 

 

Ok, they met, got married, and had a daughter all on a relatively short cruise??!! :eek: Heh...i know what you mean, but i'd argue that the basis of a strong friendship/relationship started on a short cruise and they realized that it could turn into something more. Hey, my wife and i have been married for 50+ years...ouch! Ok, she just informed me it's only been 12 years, it just feels like over 50...*ducks this time* anyways, there was a time when we only knew each other for a few days, and i wouldn't have said she was a close friend at that time...but knew that it could definitely happen. So we kept spending time together, and the rest is history (hrm, why is she screaming "you're about to be history!" at me?).

 

 

 

Oh, i'm sure it can happen. I'm also equally sure that most people who say they are good friends with crew members they only saw sporadically on a 7 day cruise (or even a couple of 7 day cruises) may be mistaking acquaintances with friends. Acquaintances are people you share a story with about the time you were in a tijuana jail cell with no recollection of how you got there...a friend is someone you tried to call to bail you out (until you realize he's in the cell next to you). :d

 

bingo!

[CapeCodCruiser]

But MOST cruises aren't 62+ days. And I would agree, I think it's definitely possible to form a "true" friendship over the course of months (62 days definitely equals at least two months).

 

 

 

Ok, they met, got married, and had a daughter all on a relatively short cruise??!! :eek: Heh...I know what you mean, but I'd argue that the BASIS of a strong friendship/relationship started on a short cruise and they realized that it could turn into something more. Hey, my wife and I have been married for 50+ years...OUCH! Ok, she just informed me it's only been 12 years, it just FEELS like over 50...*ducks this time* Anyways, there was a time when we only knew each other for a few days, and I wouldn't have said she was a close friend at that time...but knew that it could definitely happen. So we kept spending time together, and the rest is history (hrm, why is she screaming "YOU'RE about to be history!" at me?).

 

 

 

It does happen - I met my husband in a bar the day after Christmas, moved in with him 7 days later on News Year's Day - we will be celebrating 28 years this December!:D:D:D

[TracieABD]

It does happen - I met my husband in a bar the day after Christmas, moved in with him 7 days later on News Year's Day - we will be celebrating 28 years this December!:D:D:D

That is awesome! What a fun and happy ending!:)

[sail7seas]

When I suddenly became critically ill some years ago, the first to send me flowers in the hospital, was a Captain and his wife. We have been friends with them for about 20 years. Then I got phone calls from So. America where another HAL Officer was on a ship. An Executive Chef called us when he heard about me. They cared and still do. They are all still our friends.

 

Isn't that the sort of people in our lives most of us call friends? Do you think they 'remembered' us?

 

They 'happened' to have our telephone number. They happened to get word I was so ill from mutual friends......

These are people we would call friends no matter they lived down the street or around the corner or that their homes are thousands of miles away from us and they live and work part of each year on cruise ships. We see them on land and on ships. We have had hotel stays with some, we have shared many dinners on land, we speak throughout the year, on the ship or not.

 

Friends are friends, no matter where or how you meet......

The where, how and when are facts; the part that matters are the feelings.

 

 

 

[ducklite]

When I suddenly became critically ill some years ago, the first to send me flowers in the hospital, was a Captain and his wife. We have been friends with them for about 20 years. Then I got phone calls from So. America where another HAL Officer was on a ship. An Executive Chef called us when he heard about me. They cared and still do. They are all still our friends.

 

Isn't that the sort of people in our lives most of us call friends? Do you think they 'remembered' us?

 

They 'happened' to have our telephone number. They happened to get word I was so ill from mutual friends......

These are people we would call friends no matter they lived down the street or around the corner or that their homes are thousands of miles away from us and they live and work part of each year on cruise ships. We see them on land and on ships. We have had hotel stays with some, we have shared many dinners on land, we speak throughout the year, on the ship or not.

 

Friends are friends, no matter where or how you meet......

The where, how and when are facts; the part that matters are the feelings.

 

 

 

 

However I'll bet that you weren't friends seven days after you first met and had a few brief encounters with them. The average cruiser isn't on board for weeks at a time.