Need to book tomorrow. Husband recovering from stroke, so how does it 'look'?

[uppitycats]

Just a practical consideration: a person in a wheelchair can not roll through the door of a regular cabin. They're simply not wide enough. And once inside the cabin, a person in a wheelchair cannot move around the cabin -- not enough room. There is a 3 inch (approx) "lip" between the cabin area and bathroom area that your husband would have to be able to step over, and navigate inside the bathroom without being able to use a wheelchair (again, not enough room).

 

He'd have to roll up to the door of the cabin, step out of the chair, walk into (and around inside) the cabin. You'd have to fold the chair, roll it inside, and lean it against a wall, or slide it under the bed, or somewhere where both of you would not be tripping over it.

 

And of course you're on water...sometimes rough seas. Will he be able to sufficiently walk around inside the cabin when the floor under him isn't steady?

[IRL_Joanie]

Wow! You're prompt! That's fast feedback!

We would definitely get insurance (cancel for any reason? pre-existing conditions????? Any suggestions for insurance companies and type?).

Today, he told his physical therapist he was considering a cruise, and she said to 'go for it. It would do ya good'. Truly, he'd be getting more rehab on this trip than he does here. And we're both in need of a break. He was a bit reluctant (at first) because he'd be using the wheelchair for much of the time (He's not use to being so dependent on others) But we'd also bring a walker and cane and practice with those too. The gym on this ship is amazing too (weights, yoga balls, bikes...). After watching what they do in rehab for the past few months, I'm fully competent to help him with his rehab - we work on it at home too. He's still rehabing, and I'm still working with him - just in a different, and much needed environment.

 

After reading all the posts to this point, I say GO FOR IT!!!

 

You definitely need it and your hubby will more than likely enjoy it as much as you do:) Seeing you relaxed will help him also:)

 

Joanie

[peaches from georgia]

Is there a handicapped cabin available?? I think that would be a must as others have said. It's wonderful his recovery is going so well, but being on a rocking ship, and worst case scenario it can get really rocky, can mean new challenges he isn't ready for at this point. It sounds like he will need every advantage an HC cabin provides for his safety and ease of movement.

[CtheW0rld]

as long as you have your ducks in a row, i think a cruise is a great idea.

[Minoushka]

I think you already know the answers to your questions. Obviously first stop is ok from doctor

Second would be ok from employer . Of course your colleagues will be jealous or commenting ...trust me I know I was a school teacher for many years .there is a lot of rivalry between teachers ...so expect it unless you happen to work with super nice people who are both generous in spirit and act

Do what is best for hin .if you think sea air will do him good .ok I agree a trip like this can only help. I find cruising alleviates a lot of booboos.

Schlepping luggage might be a hustle so get porters and carriages

True a handicap cabin might work better for you ...ask for one

 

I hope you have a great time and come back reenergised .i truly believe in the healing powers of the ocean

 

Bon voyage

 

Michele

 

People will talk if the talk will harm you put a stopper on it if not ignore it

[Roz]

We had a lady at work out on FMLA for back surgery who took a Mediterranean cruise. Not good. She came close to losing her job. I'm not sure if your concern is appearances or using your sick leave or FMLA for a cruise. Abusing or misusing sick leave and/or FMLA can be cause for dismissal or a severe reprimand with corresponding penalties.

 

Roz

[Viesczy]

This is just IMO, see what the doc and see what your husband thinks, I mean really thinks.

 

The doc'll give the medical.

 

Your husband'll give the personal.

 

Some folks might be all "Let's go" & some folks might be all "I don't want to go out unless I'm not a burden" based on their personality type.

 

Really get his opinion because some of "not a burden" folks also are of the mindset that if they don't agree they'll feel guilty, that they somehow denied a vacation so they'll agree to go but secretly hate themselves for a situation that wasn't within their control.

 

Derek

[dfish]

We had a lady at work out on FMLA for back surgery who took a Mediterranean cruise. Not good. She came close to losing her job. I'm not sure if your concern is appearances or using your sick leave or FMLA for a cruise. Abusing or misusing sick leave and/or FMLA can be cause for dismissal or a severe reprimand with corresponding penalties.

 

Roz

 

This is a very important consideration. I was the person who had to represent a couple of teachers in termination hearings because of misuse of sick leave. It is the easiest way for an employer to fire you and they will take advantage of that if there is any reason they are looking to do so, even if it is only that you are at the top of the salary schedule and they need to reduce expenditures. About the only thing that I could do for them is to monitor and make sure proper procedure was followed.

 

Debbie

[cruisin'girl]

JMHO for what it's worth which isn't much. But I have been an employer and I don't think I would look favorably on your going on a cruise. Yes, your DH can get his rehab on the ship, yes a change of scenery would be nice for both of you. But.... the school system is holding your job for you while you are on emergency family sick leave and having to find substitute(s), etc. Having school administrators in my family I imagine your school system looks at the situation as not ideal for those children that will be your students when you return.

 

No matter the benefits of a cruise may be for your DH and you, it is still going to be considered a "vacation" by your employer and not necessary medical therapy even if your doctor says your husband is capable of travel.

[CtheW0rld]

JMHO for what it's worth which isn't much. But I have been an employer and I don't think I would look favorably on your going on a cruise. Yes' date=' your DH can get his rehab on the ship, yes a change of scenery would be nice for both of you. But.... the school system is holding your job for you while you are on emergency family sick leave and having to find substitute(s), etc. Having school administrators in my family I imagine your school system looks at the situation as not ideal for those children that will be your students when you return.

 

No matter the benefits of a cruise may be for your DH and you, it is still going to be considered a "vacation" by your employer and not necessary medical therapy even if your doctor says your husband is capable of travel.[/quote']

 

it is none of your employer's business. don't tell them. don't tell anyone.

 

as for the lady using FMLA for herself, and then going on a cruise - i do not approve of that.

 

in the OP's case, she is taking care of her husband. entirely differnt sceanario.

[cmaygar]

Back to your question about sick time usage. I assume you used 2 days at the time of the stroke and the district said take 2 more months in the fall before you return to the classroom to care for your husband.

 

As a retired business executive and now involved in an official capacity in public schools, my recommendation is get out in front of this and be proactive. Talk to your principal and lay out all the issues for her/him. Seek his/her counsel/permission on this issue. Forget perception of your peers, do what is right for your family, but communicate your proposed actions. The principal will likely encourage you to go on the cruise for the reasons you outline and will run interference for you in the workplace. Win/win for all parties.

 

I'm again assuming enlightened management on the part of the district and your leader (principal).

 

As someone involved in the HR area of a large company, I agree with this advice 100%. You don't want to lose your job over this. Make sure that your leave allows you to travel.

[Roz]

Why is going on a cruise with one's husband a different scenario? And yes, it IS the employer's business if they're holding a position open and/or paying for sick leave. Yes, a cruise would be nice, but come on, no doctor is going to write orders on a prescription pad to take a cruise.

 

Roz

[bcnvcanada]

As others have said, get doctors okay, you employer should be told, and check of insurance at the website with a lot of quotes, and check over the policies carefully. You will also need med-jet insurance, just in case. If everyone agrees (employer and doctors) go and have a good time.

[vbmom87]

Now I am getting a more clear understanding of what the OP is asking. I was confused. What I think I would do, is take off time without pay, (if approved by the employer) once I have used up my leave time.

[kazu]

You should definately apply for FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) which gives you 12 weeks of leave (per rolling calendar year) to care for either yourself or a family member without penalty or reprisal. They won't pay you for the time but you can use your own leave or accept dock without loss of your benefits (you would be charged to cover any benefit premiums you would not be covering from your wages while on dock) or being put at risk of job loss due to "sick leave abuse", nationwide as this is a Federal Law. Would be a great idea to have his Doctor put in writing that the cruise would be an integal part of his therapy for recovery.

The bolding is mine - that is a very good suggestions:D

As long as you have the clearance, go for it - it will do the world of good for both of you:):) A change is as good as a rest and will help you both I suspect:)

[CtheW0rld]

Why is going on a cruise with one's husband a different scenario? And yes, it IS the employer's business if they're holding a position open and/or paying for sick leave. Yes, a cruise would be nice, but come on, no doctor is going to write orders on a prescription pad to take a cruise.

 

Roz

 

i disagree. FMLA is not paid leave. Employers frequently try to overstep and intrude where they have no business. Slavery ended decades ago.

[Roz]

FMLA is unpaid leave THAT HOLDS YOUR POSITION FOR YOU. It is a very big deal, and has absolutely nothing to do with slavery. When someone in my office is on FMLA, it means we can't fill that position, and the workload has to be borne by the rest of us. I would be very resentful if a co-worker was on FMLA to care for a family member and I found out they were on a "therapeutic" cruise.

 

Roz

[Sea42]

My husband had a serious stroke mid June. Between the hospital stay, rehab and in-home care, the past few months are a blur. It's been a long road to recovery. But it's all good!! I'm not complaining! I'm actually ecstatic! The guy's alive and is making terrific progress! He can get around with just me being close by, but uses a wheelchair for longer distances. I'm a first grade teacher, and the stroke occurred 2 days before the end of last school year. Between therapies and appointments and just needing to assist him, the school was very kind in letting me use some of my sick leave (for 2-3 months) to help in his recovery. I'd love to take an easy cruise out of Seattle. No plane to catch... just hop on board and relax and do 'therapy' in other, more meaningful ways (i.e., massage, walks around the promenade, work-outs in the gym). I put a hold on a cruise, but need to pay tomorrow. Soooo... how does this 'look'? We live in such a small town, and the word is bound to spread. I shouldn't give a darn what people think, but I have to go back and work with them. So does this sound legit? Sound like a better way to get 'therapy' rather than the ol' 3 hours, 3 days per week? Sure sounds good to me. I would have preferred to do Seward to Vancouver for the scenery, but Seattle to Seattle certainly would be more comfortable for him. Thanks in advance for your input.

C :-)

I'm sure many care givers would love to get away on a cruise with their loved one after a harrowing experience such as yours. But what you're proposing is a vacation. If your employer will grant you vacation time, then certainly go for it. But I do believe that going on vacation while using sick time or leave will put your job in jeopardy.

[cruisin'girl]

Would be a great idea to have his Doctor put in writing that the cruise would be an integal part of his therapy for recovery.

I don't think any doctor is going to put in writing that a cruise is "an integral part of his therapy for recovery". "Integral part of his therapy for recovery" means it is a normal and necessary part of a prescribed therapy regimen for a stroke patient which of course it is not. At most the doctor would give him clearance to take the cruise as long as his recovery continues as it has been and that he can do his rehab on the ship. If a cruise was integral to stroke therapy than every stroke patient would be ordered to take a cruise.

 

A change of scenery and some relaxation away from home might be nice for patient and spouse, but it is hardly necessary therapy for recovery. It's a vacation.

[Roz]

I think I'm going to put in a request for sick leave to take a cruise as it would improve my outlook and overall mental health.

 

Roz

[CtheW0rld]

FMLA is unpaid leave THAT HOLDS YOUR POSITION FOR YOU. It is a very big deal, and has absolutely nothing to do with slavery. When someone in my office is on FMLA, it means we can't fill that position, and the workload has to be borne by the rest of us. I would be very resentful if a co-worker was on FMLA to care for a family member and I found out they were on a "therapeutic" cruise.

 

Roz

 

it is a big deal, and was made necessary because companies don't want to do the right thing. now they are forced to behave as they should. if they don't like it - tough nuggies. get a temp if necessary.

[kazu]

I don't think any doctor is going to put in writing that a cruise is "an integral part of his therapy for recovery". "Integral part of his therapy for recovery" means it is a normal and necessary part of a prescribed therapy regimen for a stroke patient which of course it is not. At most the doctor would give him clearance to take the cruise as long as his recovery continues as it has been and that he can do his rehab on the ship. If a cruise was integral to stroke therapy than every stroke patient would be ordered to take a cruise.

 

A change of scenery and some relaxation away from home might be nice for patient and spouse' date=' but it is hardly necessary therapy for recovery. It's a vacation.[/quote']

 

You might be very surprised. Many doctors will recommend that their patients 'get away from it all'. A change of pace can be very good for someone in recovery.

[fleckle]

Well dcsam, there you have it, some saying do it and others sayings don't, probably pretty much what you expected.

 

It is so easy for people here to spout off and express opinions about matters in which we have no stake.

None of us will be there to assist you if something goes wrong on the cruise or to deal with the repercussions after you return.

 

The diverse points of view expressed here only go to show that it really would be much better to consult the people who matter and who are relevant to your situation.

 

 

As for those who claim that you should ignore the reactions of your co-workers, they are not the ones who will need to work with them and get along with them in the future.

 

Since the opinions of your co-workers matter to you, as they would to most people, perhaps it would be better to ask for their opinions in advance instead of ours.

They may surprise you and be more supportive than you anticipate.

 

 

Wishing you and your husband all the best, whichever way you decide.

 

[Typhoon1]

If DH doctor gives the okay. Go ahead and do it.

 

Be sure to promptly buy insurance.

[josie724]

 

 

As for those who claim that you should ignore the reactions of your co-workers, they are not the ones who will need to work with them and get along with them in the future.

 

Since the opinions of your co-workers matter to you, as they would to most people, perhaps it would be better to ask for their opinions in advance instead of ours.

They may surprise you and be more supportive than you anticipate.

 

 

Wishing you and your husband all the best, whichever way you decide.