Elderly parents cruising???

[waterbugohio]

OK, just looking for some help here.

 

My parents are 79 and 77. My dad is in very good health, but my mom has early stages of dementia. They have traveled quite a bit the last 10 years, including 3-4 cruises.

 

Looking for a vacation for January. Found them a great deal today on the Independence. However, because of my moms failing memory, my Dad is starting to second guess traveling. He is worried if something were to happen to him while on board, would mom be able to make decisions

 

How much help is the cruise line in emergency cases? Anyone have any first hand experience?

 

Thanks all. I know the perfect solution is traveling companions, but as of right now, they can't find anyone. And while I would love to go along, not sure if I can squeeze another cruise in yet ($$)

[Esmerelda]

Me personally, I would discuss this with your mothers physician. Only that person could make a good decision based on your mom's health. I would hate to see them get into a situation they couldn't handle and that would be scary for both of them.

 

I wish you the best but if it were my mom, I would want to hear it from a physician taking care of her.

[waterbugohio]

I go to DR's appt with her. She is fine to travel. It is more my Dad's "worrying" right now that is the problem.

 

He just wants to know what kind of help there would be for her if something were to happen to him.

[callmewhatever]

I work in a dementia unit and I would recomend that someone else goes with them also just in case something does happen to your dad. If your mum wants to go on a cruise do it sooner rather than later. Hope that it all goes well.

[pepsicruiser]

I would think a cruise has too much going on with the getting on and off at ports and being in too many places. Maybe going to an old favorite place they have visited before...maybe a resort might be best. Getting to know the staff and be familiar with them may put your dads mind at rest if god forbid something did happen. You could also call more often to check on them if they were in one place.

[debandbill]

What is your parent's financial situation? Perhaps they would be willing to pay the cost of you cruising with them. This is what I did last year with my Mom and her friend. Mother is in great financial shape so she paid for the cruise and hubby and I arranged and paid for the extras like the trip there and back and hotel accomodations. We also got them to wherever they wanted to go and kept them on schedule for meals, shows, etc.

 

While it was not the most relaxing cruise I have ever taken, it certainly was nice and Mother and her friend enjoyed it thoroughly. Everyone stayed healthy and safe.

 

Wishing you luck on this one..glad I took a chance to make memories,

 

Deb

[waterbugohio]

Deb, thanks for the suggestion. The money end can be arranged. It is more the time away that is the problem. If I go in January, it may make it hard to do the girls cruise I'm hoping for in April!!

 

Just stinks to watch the parents get older.

[cb at sea]

If his "worrying" is part of the dementia....no amount of reassurance will help....

 

Some folks just get "forgetful"...some get angry and paranoid...some worry for no reason. It's part of the disease.

 

If cruising will make his disease worse, he shouldn't do it. It's not fair to him.

[ctcruiser1721]

If the only issue is her ability to make higher-level decisions, and he is otherwise able to manage what care she will need, I would suggest (and really he should do this right away anyway) he go to an atty and have a durable power of arty for healthcare decisions appointed as well as a living will. I'm sure the special needs department could communicate the documentation to the medical staff. They can always call ship-to-shore if there's an emergency.

 

Good luck to them!

[Ashland]

Deb, thanks for the suggestion. The money end can be arranged. It is more the time away that is the problem. If I go in January, it may make it hard to do the girls cruise I'm hoping for in April!!

 

Just stinks to watch the parents get older.

Sorry...but the "girls" (cruise) will be there a lot longer probably than your "parents" I would opt for going with them..as the time with them and the memories are priceless...I traveled a great deal with my parents as they aged and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

[Ashland]

If his "worrying" is part of the dementia....no amount of reassurance will help....

 

Some folks just get "forgetful"...some get angry and paranoid...some worry for no reason. It's part of the disease.

 

If cruising will make his disease worse, he shouldn't do it. It's not fair to him.

Please read the OP's post again...."Dad" doesn't have dementia.."Mom"is in the early stages...Dad has every right to be worried.

[Scotty G]

Please take this story and consider your fathers concern. We cruised on an RCL ship in the last few years where we observed a catastrophic event at the muster drill. An elderly gentleman standing next to me suddenly got ashen and collapsed. He was with his wife who appeared to have dementia. The lifeboat crew immediately got medical there but I could see that he was already gone. Throughout the entire process the wife did not have a clue what was happening and a crew member assisted her while following the medical staff to the Medical facility. The ship was already leaving the port but stopped at another dock where they left the ship and were transported away by ambulance. My point is that this would have been far worse if it had occurred later in the cruise and there was a foreign port involved. I hope this helps in making a decision!!!

[pcur]

I saw my Mom through to the end with dementia/Alzheimer's. Now, we are dealing with my Dad and my MIL.

 

I agree with your Dad: even early stage dementia can be very problematic if there is a traumatic, or even stressful, event. The critical thinking and decision making skills are really diminished. People can cope beautifully with ordinary experiences, but frequently get confused or disoriented when met with a stressful situation.

 

My MIL got ill a few months ago; nothing serious, but she was in the hospital for 3 days, and in a rehab facility for a week. She suddenly showed a marked decrease in her mental abilities, and is still having problems 3 months later.

 

It's the sudden event that can trigger a decline.

 

It would be much, much better for them to have a travel companion. I don't know what their situation is, but I'd start thinking about someone who would like to cruise and can share the cost. Friend, neighbor, other family member(s)?

[cruisnseas]

If your mother is in the early stages of dementia I feel it is a very bad idea for them to cruise alone. Many things can happen and it would be terrifying for to experience.

 

Royal Caribbean has a shipboard and corporate team called the CARE team. They are called in whenever something tragic or exceptionally difficult occurs onboard the ships. If someone were to pass away, become hospitalized, etc. The shipboard team assists with those family and friends still onboard - helping them arrange to go back home, etc. The corporate team goes to wherever the injured or deceased passenger was taken off the ship and assists with planning from there. They are more planning and emotional support. They are not prepared nor intended to handle a passenger with dementia left alone for whatever reason.

[PH8]

There was a similar thread a little while ago.......maybe some of their posts will help..

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1742516&highlight=dementia

[newfirsttimer]

If Dad says he is worried, listen to him. He knows what day to day life is like with Mom. A change in regular routine can be devastating for both the person with dementia and the care giver. I went through this with my mom. When she was in the very early stages I decided to take her to Florida so we drove down. She would be great for days but once she fell asleep in the car and when she woke up was very disoriented and tried to climb out of the car at 70 mph, having decided she wanted to take a walk. Accept that cruising days may be over for your parents.