Have you ever had to get back for an emergency?

[Lois R]

Oh I so wish....my hubby used to travel for his job. Not all places I could go to, but some I could. One such trip was New Zealand in 2007. Not a cheap trip by a long shot, but because he was going on business and had a ridiculous amount of miles, he was able to pull off getting me an award ticket very last minute with the help of a fabulous agent at the platinum desk of American. Add to that an Elton John friend who lives on the South Island wanted to show us around and take us to various wineries....well, there was never a question that I wasn't going to go. My parents were ok healthwise at this point....however, my mother kept questioning to the reasons of WHY I needed to go.

 

Now, I have been blessed to have lived in Europe (which made her crazy!), experiencing things you just don't get to do visiting. I have also been many places with my hubby, so of course I knew where this line of questioning was going with her. I'm not real sure why she goes there because she gets the same answer everytime, which is *I'm going because its THERE*....and of course, that's how I answered this.

 

I went, had a wonderful time and returned. One day, I came to visit and out of the blue she said, *I can't believe you did that*. Not knowing what she was referring to, I said *Did what?*. She proceeded to tell me that flying to New Zealand was *so dangerous*! I looked at her and said, *Planes fly everyday to destinations all over the world...when you hear of a crash, it's dramatic....look in the paper and tell me how many car fatalities you see* I followed it up with *you act like I strapped my luggage to my back and flapped my arms*. I really think there could be life regrets attached to this, but I really don't know. It is hard though because I can remember even as a child I wanted to travel....and the places I've been have been dreams come true....they were places in geography books I never thought I would see.

 

It's no surprise to me that the recent Carnival incidents have come up in my visits....we have never cruised on them, but of course it didn't stop her from making comments that cruising was dangerous. It's times like this, I hate the television news.:eek: More than anything, I guess I wish I could understand the reasons behind the questioning. At this point, I'm not so sure I will ever know.

 

Sharon, although both of my parents are gone now I can say

they always had a bit of a "wanderlust" in them both. Mom has

been gone 20 years so she didn't know about all my cruising in the

past 10 years...but my Dad? He was here until 2011 and he always

loved that I wanted to go:)....he always got a kick out of me meeting

people "through the net" on a cruising website;).

 

I do remember when they both retired (which was back in the

early 80s) they booked a trip to Europe for about 6 or 7 weeks.

They rented a flat in a suburb of London to live in and traveled all

around Europe from there.:D....so maybe they were a bit more

ahead of the curve than I evere imagined....

 

We need to chat next week on the cruise:)

 

Warmwinds, hope you are still going on the cruise!

[islandgirlejfan]

Sharon, although both of my parents are gone now I can say

they always had a bit of a "wanderlust" in them both. Mom has

been gone 20 years so she didn't know about all my cruising in the

past 10 years...but my Dad? He was here until 2011 and he always

loved that I wanted to go....he always got a kick out of me meeting

people "through the net" on a cruising website;).

 

I do remember when they both retired (which was back in the

early 80s) they booked a trip to Europe for about 6 or 7 weeks.

They rented a flat in a suburb of London to live in and traveled all

around Europe from there.....so maybe they were a bit more

ahead of the curve than I evere imagined....

 

We need to chat next week on the cruise:)

 

Warmwinds, hope you are still going on the cruise!

 

We are going to have a GREAT time Lois! :) Words cannot express how ready I am to go! Mike and I have really had a rough year or so. I am not going to say I'm not concerned for them....but there is also Mike and I to consider and if I live by her rules, my big trip would be to the grocery store and back....and that's just not happening! Have passport, will travel!:D

 

I have to share this...LOL, the one time she flew (it was one way from BWI to Charlotte, NC where her family is from), as luck would have it, the pilot's name was *Captain Marvel* (Eastern Airlines....no, I'm not making this up!:p) I'm not sure she liked that because she has brought it up from time to time when I get ready to fly. She's never flown after that. I've heard a lot of pilots making announcements over the years to include their names....to this day, none have had a comic book character's name. LOL, it might as well been Superman piloting the plane!

 

Me....I will be RUNNING to the gate! Looking forward to meeting our really GREAT roll call! :)

[Nebr.cruiser]

We are going to have a GREAT time Lois! :) Words cannot express how ready I am to go! Mike and I have really had a rough year or so. I am not going to say I'm not concerned for them....but there is also Mike and I to consider and if I live by her rules, my big trip would be to the grocery store and back....and that's just not happening! Have passport, will travel!:D

 

I have to share this...LOL, the one time she flew (it was one way from BWI to Charlotte, NC where her family is from), as luck would have it, the pilot's name was *Captain Marvel* (Eastern Airlines....no, I'm not making this up!:p) I'm not sure she liked that because she has brought it up from time to time when I get ready to fly. She's never flown after that. I've heard a lot of pilots making announcements over the years to include their names....to this day, none have had a comic book character's name. LOL, it might as well been Superman piloting the plane!

 

Me....I will be RUNNING to the gate! Looking forward to meeting our really GREAT roll call! :)

 

I'm glad that you can just go ahead and travel; you can't live your life by someone else's rules, worries or obsessions. It must be hard to be that person--always afraid and negative and controlling.

 

Not parents, but when we've gone some place more exotic, like a trip we did to Thailand and Viet Nam, I have had people ask us why in the world we would want to go there. It's hard to explain to someone so insular that we want to see and experience the world.

 

Love the Captain Marvel story! Should have made her feel very protected.

[BugsyCruiser]

Thankfully I have not had to try and get home from some far distance for an emergency but I did quit my driving job at the time to be home with my mother on her final weeks before she passed away from cancer back in 2010. Her and I traveled together and after I lost her it was extremely difficult to go on a vacation again until a dear friend of mine encouraged me to go on my first ever cruise(they were having special events on it)... and now I'm hooked on cruising.

 

Funny story about my mom... for four years straight we went to Vegas on vacation and flew each time. She never enjoyed the flights, just tolerated them. I remember the first time we flew back from Vegas she was nervous and I said "Here hold my hand until we get up in the air." Then just as we lifted off the ground I had to tell her to let go and when she asked why I said "Cause you're hurting me!" :p :D

[warmwinds]

Well, I'm still not sure. Taking this week one day at a time. Medically, my mil is apparently doing great - surgery one day, ICU the next, regular room the next, and now off to a rehab center. We all think it's way too soon, she just lies there and moans in pain, plus she's an Alzheimer's home resident so fades in and out of the past and present.

 

We flew home last night because with Easter it was either go then or not until Tuesday, and the plan was we would come for this visit to be with her post-surgery and see what was what.

 

Really no reason for us not to go, she is not in danger, but things can change day to day so we're just playing it by ear.

 

I'm so happy I brought up this question because so many of us have stories to share. It's funny how our parents react so differently. And I'm sure all of us are saying "I'm not going to be like that when *I* get old".

 

But to the ones whose parents don't like them traveling (Island girl I think?) - sounds like a combination of worry and jealousy, I'm not sure which is more dominant. We all have our own unique family dynamics.

[Lois R]

Warmwinds, whatever is best for you....that is the decision you will make.:)

 

I remember before my Dad died (for about 2.5 years) my sister and

I would not travel at the same time. If she and my bil were away

I was home and if I was cruising they were home. We had agreed

on that when he started to go downhill. It worked for us:)

 

I guess you could say we were both fortunate to be at home when

died.....I had a cruise booked for 4 days after his death but I

immediately cancelled it.

[phoenix_dream]

You originally were asking about logistics, and I think got answers to that. The bigger issues are those of responsibility, love, and guilt. There are so many sides to the issue, and so many opinions. I had one experience myself where my dying father urged me not to cancel a trip to Arizona (one of his favorite places - he said I would be enjoying it for him), and he ended up passing away while I was gone. Since I have many siblings I thought could be handling things, I did not fly home immediately, but changed my flight to arrive earlier than I planned, but on a more convenient flight a day later. For years my brother would not speak to me as he assumed all I cared about was not cutting my vacation short (not true at all). A good lesson learned about setting expectations before you go.

 

On the other side of the coin, when my MIL was ill and in nursing homes and hospitals for three years, one SIL decided she would play the role of caretaker to the extreme and visit her every day (she lived 5 min away), not take vacation even when we told her we would handle things, etc., etc. It made her miserable to be around and caused real rifts in the family with her other siblings as she bragged to all who would listen about what she did and the sacrifices she was making (and by inference, and sometimes more directly said, what they did not/could not do). Lesson to be learned there - no one is indispensible. If you have others who can carry the torch while you are away, allow them the chance to do so. You need it, and believe it or not you are giving them a blessing as well - the blessing to be able to step up and feel helpful and needed as well.

 

To the OP, I wish you the best of luck in your dilemna and hope all turns out well.

[warmwinds]

Well in the last couple of days she has gotten worse, so we will be canceling (actually, I have already cancelled everything). Hopefully she will get better, and even if she does we have no regrets over not going at this point in time.

[Iamthesea]

I am so sorry you had to cancel. :(

 

We are going through a similar situation with a cruise coming up in 50 days. Not only do I have a grand baby due just a couple of weeks before we leave for Europe, but now my sister has suddenly become really ill with a life threatening blood disease. We will really not know if we will make the trip until the last minute. :(

 

I hope that your MIL gets better. ;)

[Lois R]

Well in the last couple of days she has gotten worse, so we will be canceling (actually, I have already cancelled everything). Hopefully she will get better, and even if she does we have no regrets over not going at this point in time.

 

Warmwinds, so sorry......will be thinking of you and your MIL.......

[Buckeye Travelers]

We experienced the same situation last Nov. My mother passed and we were in Spain and about to board a TA cruise. Went to a travel agent and found that a r/t ticket was less than a o/w ticket. It took almost 3 months to process, but insurance paid every penny owed. There is never a good time for situations like this but we were told the same thing GO! Now we are using the other half of the r/t ticket ( had one year to complete the trip) to return to Europe and complete our transatlantic cruise this fall.

[sarahuk]

Hi ,

We were on Eclipse 12th Jan this year. My elderly mother who lived with us went into a home for respite whilst we were away. We cruise several times a year and so often I wondered if it was wise to go on the cruises but you cant cancel every time! So often she would be ill and I thought she woudnt survive but she always did!!

Anyway the first two days were at sea and on the second of the sea days I recieved an email from my daughter saying mum had collapsed and was in hospital and doctors said she wouldnt last more than 48 hrs. The concierge staff on Eclipse were so helpful and let us use their phone and book our flights. We docked the next day at Aruba and flew from there to Miami and then Miami to London. That last day at sea was agony as it was wasting so much time just sitting waiting helplessly. It took 24 hrs of travelling before we got to the hospital.

Mum survived the initial infection but they found she had cancer so I took her home to care for her til she died 12 days later.

Looking back Im so glad I got home in time because I did have a few precious days with her when she was aware.

On the way home we decided that if she did survive, we would only do short local cruises as I dont think I could have gone through the agony of waiting to get of the ship and the long flight home.

Although at the age of 90 and having dementia we knew that obviously she was not going to last forever but from the time I got that email to getting home were some of the worst days of my life . I know everyone is different and all circumstances are not the same but I know now I would have felt so bad if I hadnt got home on time.

[gold1953]

My brother and his wife are on their first cruise at this moment. They fly home straight from the ship on Sunday. Yesterday my sister-in-laws mother passed away. Her sons decided not to call then and ruin their vacation. She has siblings here to help her father. Can't say it was or wasn't expected as she was quite far gone with alzeimers and in a nursing home. They left without talking about the situation with the sons . We will see what happens when they get off the plane but I feel my sister-in-law will be VERY upset!!!

[sarahuk]

My brother and his wife are on their first cruise at this moment. They fly home straight from the ship on Sunday. Yesterday my sister-in-laws mother passed away. Her sons decided not to call then and ruin their vacation. She has siblings here to help her father. Can't say it was or wasn't expected as she was quite far gone with alzeimers and in a nursing home. They left without talking about the situation with the sons . We will see what happens when they get off the plane but I feel my sister-in-law will be VERY upset!!!

 

How sad especially as its their first cruise. Its awful for the sons too having to make that decision whether to contact them or not.I really feel for your sister in law and send prayers to all the family.

Sarah

[tserface]

Sorry to hear about your sister's loss.

 

FWIW, I think her sons are right to let her have her last few days of vacation uninterrupted. Since there are people to surround her father with help and love I think allowing them the few couple of days before the grief starts is really nice.

 

If it were an "all of a sudden" thing like one of the kids dying or being hurt that would be a different story entirely, but since this won't likely come as a big surprise and there are others to stand in the gap for and it's only a couple of days I really applaud her sons for caring enough to let their parents have the time. A lot of kids would not be that sensitive or as welling to help out in situations like that. They must be really great parents.

 

Tom

 

 

My brother and his wife are on their first cruise at this moment. They fly home straight from the ship on Sunday. Yesterday my sister-in-laws mother passed away. Her sons decided not to call then and ruin their vacation. She has siblings here to help her father. Can't say it was or wasn't expected as she was quite far gone with alzeimers and in a nursing home. They left without talking about the situation with the sons . We will see what happens when they get off the plane but I feel my sister-in-law will be VERY upset!!!

[gold1953]

It is a tough situation but I am glad they did not call her. The only problem is she will be home only 3 hours before the wake . Not much personal time. And the funeral is the next morning.

[warmwinds]

Well, hate to bump up sad threads but all of you were so kind I thought you'd like to know what happened.

 

I'm so glad we cancelled when we did. She just went into a 180 tailspin (also Alzheimer/dementia related like Gold1953's relative)...we flew to Arizona on April 4 (cruise was to leave April 7) and she was virtually in a comatose state until she passed away on April 10 (would have been right in the middle of the cruise).

 

We had the insurance, so have no doubts everything will be covered.

 

She was a good mother-in-law, I'm so glad we were there for her at the end (and to prop up my sister-in-law).

 

I've read Bugsy's blog and it looks like we missed a winner - oh well, never was on a cruise that wasn't a winner.

 

But we were thinking...she was our last parent to pass (we're in our 60's ourselves), so will be stop buying the insurance? No way! Anything can happen to anyone at any time, even young healthy people. A small price to pay for peace of mind.

[Lois R]

Well, hate to bump up sad threads but all of you were so kind I thought you'd like to know what happened.

 

I'm so glad we cancelled when we did. She just went into a 180 tailspin (also Alzheimer/dementia related like Gold1953's relative)...we flew to Arizona on April 4 (cruise was to leave April 7) and she was virtually in a comatose state until she passed away on April 10 (would have been right in the middle of the cruise).

 

We had the insurance, so have no doubts everything will be covered.

 

She was a good mother-in-law, I'm so glad we were there for her at the end (and to prop up my sister-in-law).

 

I've read Bugsy's blog and it looks like we missed a winner - oh well, never was on a cruise that wasn't a winner.

 

But we were thinking...she was our last parent to pass (we're in our 60's ourselves), so will be stop buying the insurance? No way! Anything can happen to anyone at any time, even young healthy people. A small price to pay for peace of mind.

 

Warmwinds, thank you for posting and my heartfelt condolences go

out to you, your husband (and your whole family).

 

Maybe we will meet on the high seas another time:)

[warmwinds]

Thanks, Lois.

 

Did you write a review?

[Lois R]

Thanks, Lois.

 

Did you write a review?

 

Your welcome. Nope, I just got home yesterday and took today

off from work. Did laundry, went grocery shopping, etc...then got

home and watched the horrible events in Boston all afternoon:(

 

To be honest with you, not sure I am doing a review.

[nothriver]

I'm sorry to hear about your mother in law. There will be many trips to enjoy in the future, it was fortunate this time you were able to be with her.