Is it rude?

[ryansmemom]

A young poster started a thread becase she was concened about the rudeness of the responses of some posters to questions asked regarding the dress codes. She seemed very concerned about this issue. She seemed genuinely concerened about people's feelings being hurt by things people said. Many people supported her. Many of these people were advocates of "I should be able to wear what I want to wear."

 

It got me thinking. On the subject of rudeness, what about rude behavior?

 

Here is my poll question: Is it rude to your fellow passengers to break the dress code?

 

I think it is.

 

Linda

[Keksie]

It would depend on intent and your definition of the dress code.

 

If the person was breaking the dress code on purpose (for example wearing shorts on formal night to make a point) that would be rude.

 

If the person was breaking the dress code by mistake (for example wearing jeans on casual night instead of dockers because that is what is done in his part of the country for a casual night out in a nice restaurant) that is not rude.

 

If the person were following the dress code but not someone else's definition of the dress code (for example wearing a denim skirt on casual night) that is not rude.

[voyageur]

Yes, I think it is rude because it would upset people who came to experience a certain cruiseline tradition. But there are wide boundaries within the 3 categories (casual, informal and formal) I don't think people who spend a lot of time saving for a cruise should have to be too stressed with spending more money on a new waredrobe. So unless it's way off the evenings dress code I think it shouldn't be taken too seriously. And it certainly shouldn't and doesn't take away from your own evening experience to get all dressed up and enjoy yourself. Don't judge people on what they are wearing... everyone cruises for their own reasons and it's not worth getting upset about - you can't control everything... only your own reaction.

[Gabsabunch42]

It would depend on intent and your definition of the dress code.

 

If the person was breaking the dress code on purpose (for example wearing shorts on formal night to make a point) that would be rude.

 

If the person was breaking the dress code by mistake (for example wearing jeans on casual night instead of dockers because that is what is done in his part of the country for a casual night out in a nice restaurant) that is not rude.

 

If the person were following the dress code but not someone else's definition of the dress code (for example wearing a denim skirt on casual night) that is not rude.

I agree with your post totally. Its all in the intent. Everyone should know what the dress code says for their particular cruise, but everyone may interpret the dress code differently, as so proven on these boards. One person's interpretation may be different than anothers, so what some considered rude, others will not.

[LHT28]

I think it is rude to wear shorts to the dining room for dinner even when the cruiseline states "no shorts after 6 pm"

 

We saw this on a HAL cruise a few years ago.

[Jane110]

It would depend on intent and your definition of the dress code.

 

If the person was breaking the dress code on purpose (for example wearing shorts on formal night to make a point) that would be rude.

 

If the person was breaking the dress code by mistake (for example wearing jeans on casual night instead of dockers because that is what is done in his part of the country for a casual night out in a nice restaurant) that is not rude.

 

If the person were following the dress code but not someone else's definition of the dress code (for example wearing a denim skirt on casual night) that is not rude.

 

Have to agree w/ Keksie.

 

Depends on what you define as "breaking the dress code" Linda. For a formal night - jeans, capri's, khaki's, shorts are definitely rude. A blazer, shirt and casual pants are breaking the guidelines but that wouldn't annoy me if my tablemates came dressed that way to dinner. I'd figure they couldn't afford a suit and tried their best and it would be fine with me.

 

Jane

[love2vacation]

I agree about the intent part. There are some rebels out there, though. But what about those unfortunate vacationers whose luggage got lost??? They might only have the stuff in thier carry ons. My husband's luggage usually gets lost on the way home at least..... We always take some of everything in our carry on just in case...:eek:

[ryansmemom]

I do agree about intent. It is impossible to know a person's intent without actually talking to them.

 

The people I was refering to are the people who obviously buck the system. These are the people who show up in shorts and tee shirts on formal nights. I have never seen this on any cruise I have been on, I've never looked, but people have reported it.

 

I understand and sympathize with people who have lost their luggage. I do wonder how often this happens. I do know that when it has happened on ships I have been on, the cruise line does make an effort to help people find appropriate clothing for formal night if they want to participate.

 

I also know that the cruise lines provide information to people about the appropiate clothing for the cruise in the documents. It is right there in black and white- number of formal nights, casual etc. "Know before you go" information.

 

Perhaps I'm just too simple-minded about this issue. Why would anyone want the stress of being unprepared for the experience? I don't think everyone needs to be expensively dressed, however if you can afford the cruise, you can afford some nice clothing to wear. The cruise lines will even rent them to you. Everyone does not have to wear designer clothing, or even a tux or gown. But they can ditch the jeans, shorts and tank tops in the dining room. Someone who at least makes an effort to follow the guidelines is not in any way rude as far as I am concerned. It's the obvious rebels that I'm talking about.

 

All of the ships I have been on are just beautiful. It's not just what you wear. It's a whole experience. Like I said, maybe I'm too simple-minded about this.

 

Linda

[tumeroll]

I do agree about intent. It is impossible to know a person's intent without actually talking to them.

 

The people I was refering to are the people who obviously buck the system. These are the people who show up in shorts and tee shirts on formal nights. I have never seen this on any cruise I have been on, I've never looked, but people have reported it.

 

I understand and sympathize with people who have lost their luggage. I do wonder how often this happens. I do know that when it has happened on ships I have been on, the cruise line does make an effort to help people find appropriate clothing for formal night if they want to participate.

 

I also know that the cruise lines provide information to people about the appropiate clothing for the cruise in the documents. It is right there in black and white- number of formal nights, casual etc. "Know before you go" information.

 

Perhaps I'm just too simple-minded about this issue. Why would anyone want the stress of being unprepared for the experience? I don't think everyone needs to be expensively dressed, however if you can afford the cruise, you can afford some nice clothing to wear. The cruise lines will even rent them to you. Everyone does not have to wear designer clothing, or even a tux or gown. But they can ditch the jeans, shorts and tank tops in the dining room. Someone who at least makes an effort to follow the guidelines is not in any way rude as far as I am concerned. It's the obvious rebels that I'm talking about.

 

All of the ships I have been on are just beautiful. It's not just what you wear. It's a whole experience. Like I said, maybe I'm too simple-minded about this.

 

Linda

 

Linda, I agree with you all the way on this. What I fear and I have posted on it before. Once the cruise lines get the vast majority of the cruising public into a 24/7 casual dress situation, the cruise lines will cut way back on the amenities because there will be no further need for a formal dining room, a fancy captains party, and formal uniforms etc.

 

Casual will beget casual from the cruise lines. So I say to all those who love to dress casual be prepared for receiving a total casual atmosphere from the lines in return.

[Wennfred]

Yes I think its very rude, The only problem with this is if they are First time cruisers, they wouldnt know, unless they had a good TA or acutally read the conditions before sailing.

 

Either way, let her be, she will look and feel funny when she arrives and every one is Decked out.

[sprinkles]

Linda,

 

I also agree with you 100%. I think things are just going to continue to get worse (judging from numerous recent posts and my past few cruises). DH and I still love Princess, but the day may be coming when we have to "splurge" for Crystal just to get another tast of elegance. One of our favorite things we always loved to do was to walk around the promenade deck on formal night. We always felt like we were back in time, on some trans-atlantic crossing with the rest of the "upper-crust". Now we usually just feel out of place, with the tank top and shorts crowd.

 

Tammy

[MizzCard]

How can ones attire be rude? Inappropriate perhaps, but hardly rude. I think the "verbal comment" in itself would be rude. Would you be willing to confront the inapproiately dressed person and let them know that their outfit doesn't meet the recommended attire for the evening? Would that be rude, or do you have no gumption?

[hajekfam]

The act of puposefully dressing inappropriately is rude. So is a comment made by someone other than a person in authority to the person so dressed.

[*CruiseFan*]

I don't believe that the OP said they wanted to say something to anyone dressed inappropriately ;)

 

While I don't really care what people wear, I do think it's funny to see people dressed in "raggedy" (I'm using the term loosely to describe dressing down) clothes in the dining room. Perhaps I was just raised with the idea that if you’re going to a nice dinner, which the dining room on a ship is considered, you wear a dress or something of the like.

 

I will go so far as to say that yes, designer jeans are adorable while out at a bar with friends and are probably appropriate enough for the dining room if paired with heels and a trendy top for some people, I personally wouldn’t do it on a cruise. I don’t know, it just wouldn’t feel right because of the ambiance of the dining room. Besides, the nicely dressed people at dinner is part of the experience of the cruise :p

[Nliedel]

I understand where she is coming from. I also understand that dressing as you please and acting as you please because "it is *my* vacation and *I* paid for it" is rude as well. I have seen the most selfish and horrible behavior because people think it is "their" vacation. It is also the vacation of thousands of others.

 

 

If you don't like Cunard's rules don't sail Cunard. If you don't like NCL's rules or suggestions then don't sail NCL. There is a cruise line for everyone these days. There is no "one size fits all" formula. Find a ship and a line that caters to who you are and how you want to dress and then go for it.

[Eliot Ness]

I had to vote 'no' on this one because are too many variables in the way of interrupting the "dress code".

 

Someone who considers a sport coat, shirt/tie, and slacks as formal wear is not being rude to anyone, but there are some who would not consider that appropriate attire. I don’t even consider someone who wears a dress shirt (w/wo tie) and nice slacks to formal night as being intentionally rude, they might be dressing up to what they consider formal attire for them.

 

<flame suit on> Someone who wears a nice pair of jeans and a nice shirt on casual night is also not being rude if that is their idea of casual. After all, they aren’t wearing shorts, t-shirts, or a tank top <flame suit off>.

 

That being said, if someone does wear items that are listed as "not permitted" during dinner (in the case of Carnival: shorts, t-shirts, or bathing attire) because they didn’t want to change or wanted the "shock" of their inappropriate dress noticed could be considered rude. In the case of lost luggage or other circumstances I think certain allowances should be made.

 

So if the guy sitting across from you on formal night is wearing a dress shirt and slacks cut him some slack, that might be his definition of formal. His definition of how to dress might not match yours, but if you try, you might make a new friend. Enjoy your dinner, your family, new friends and have a great cruise!

[JanetMarie]

IMO, yes, it is rude to break the "dress code." By this I mean, if it is formal night and you do not want to wear a crisp dark suit for the gents or a formal dress for the ladies, then there are other dining options available. The upper buffet is open as is room service. I am 48 years old and we cruise two to three times a year. Believe me, cruising attire is NOT what is used to be 20 years ago, for that matter, even 10 years ago. It used to be the % of gents wearing a tux was close to 90%. Today, you're fortunate to see 20% wearing a tux.

[Silver Anniv]

 

So if the guy sitting across from you on formal night is wearing a dress shirt and slacks cut him some slack, that might be his definition of formal.

 

Everyone can have different definitions of what *things* mean.

 

 

Look up the word in the dictionary, what does it say? When I looked up the word formal on dictionary.com, it says this: Something, such as a gown or social affair, that is formal in nature.

 

 

Find out what it really means, not what you *think* it means.

 

 

If someone’s definition of formal is; dress shirt (no tie) and nice slacks, then they don’t know what the word formal means. And I’m not sure WHY someone would think that is formal. We’re a media age, we watch a lot of TV, we can *see* when someone is formally dressed up. We see clips from the White House; media awards shows; etc., when people are dressed formally, we can *see* what they are wearing.

 

 

Having this fashion board is a wonder tool to get (and give) information, advice, and sometimes LEARN about cruise fashion. I’ve learned a lot of wonderful fashion tips here and will continue to do so.

[Eliot Ness]

........Look up the word in the dictionary, what does it say? When I looked up the word formal on dictionary.com, it says this: Something, such as a gown or social affair, that is formal in nature.

 

Find out what it really means, not what you *think* it means...........

It doesn’t matter what I think it means, it matters what the person wearing a dress shirt and slacks that evening thinks it means.

 

I understand the definition of formal as you defined it, but to others it might be a relative term. To the man wearing a dress shirt and slacks it may be formal in contrast to what he usually wears. I won’t argue that it doesn’t match the definition as a lot of people know it, but what the other passengers wear has very little significance to me personally. As long as they are clean and well behaved they would be welcome to join my table.

 

This could be (and has been an endless debate) where you have to respect each other’s opinions and often just agree to disagree.

........Having this fashion board is a wonder tool to get (and give) information, advice, and sometimes LEARN about cruise fashion. I’ve learned a lot of wonderful fashion tips here and will continue to do so.

I agree, and I dress for the formal dinners, not because I enjoy it, but out of respect for those who do and the cruising tradition where it came from. I will not, however, let the dress of a fellow passenger ruin my evening or keep me from enjoying their company.

[Gabsabunch42]

Everyone can have different definitions of what *things* mean.

 

 

 

Look up the word in the dictionary, what does it say? When I looked up the word formal on dictionary.com, it says this: Something, such as a gown or social affair, that is formal in nature.

 

 

 

Find out what it really means, not what you *think* it means.

 

 

 

If someone’s definition of formal is; dress shirt (no tie) and nice slacks, then they don’t know what the word formal means. And I’m not sure WHY someone would think that is formal. We’re a media age, we watch a lot of TV, we can *see* when someone is formally dressed up. We see clips from the White House; media awards shows; etc., when people are dressed formally, we can *see* what they are wearing.

 

 

 

Having this fashion board is a wonder tool to get (and give) information, advice, and sometimes LEARN about cruise fashion. I’ve learned a lot of wonderful fashion tips here and will continue to do so.

 

Once again I am going to have to agree with Mr. Ness. Everyone can argue over it, but some folks will have their own perception of formal. Everyone is raised differently and not everyone watches TV. And you could make the argument that if they do watch TV, formal events that they show with celebrities dressed up does not always show everyone's opinion of formal wear either. The only way folks are going to get satisfaction with this is if the cruiselines set very specific guidelines for dinners and ensured cruisers were aware of them, and turned those away that did not meet those guidelines.

[WeBeCruisin']

.

 

I understand the definition of formal as you defined it, but to others it might be a relative term. To the man wearing a dress shirt and slacks it may be formal in contrast to what he usually wears.

 

I lived in the mountains of East Tennessee for many, many years and, for some of the people I knew, wearing a shirt under their bib overalls was considered pretty spiffy and was "dressing up" in contrast to what they normally wore. I'll let them know that they'll be gladly welcomed in the dining room on formal night by Mr. Ness. :D

 

Allen

[Eliot Ness]

I lived in the mountains of East Tennessee for many' date=' many years and, for some of the people I knew, wearing a shirt under their bib overalls was considered pretty spiffy and was "dressing up" in contrast to what they normally wore. I'll let them know that they'll be gladly welcomed in the dining room on formal night by Mr. Ness........[/quote']

OK, but you'd better mention that chewin' and spittin' may be frowned upon in the dining room ;) .

[WeBeCruisin']

OK, but you'd better mention that chewin' and spittin' may be frowned upon in the dining room ;) .

 

But it's "dressy" chewin' and spittin'.:D

[bobby'sgirl]

I have been lurking for several months posting when I feel the need to question. We are leaving for our 1st cruise alone. The topic of dress is an interesting one for sure. For many the level of dressing up has changed over the years. My mother today recalled how dressed up she got to go to the movies or out to dinner. I am looking forward to dressing up in my better clothes but each to their own. I listen to my 17 year DD chat with friends about clothes.... each group in high school have their set code.....this is where the thoughts and attitudes start. The preppies would not be caught with the goths, sporties etc. Cruising provides many options, we should not judge by the clothes worn...hence miss opportunity to meet someone quite interesting. My DH would have been classed as a nurd in the 70's but we are celebrating 25th anniversary. He is the love of my life.

Just my thoughts!

[Happy ks]

Quoted from Mr. Ness (I think) "So if the guy sitting across from you on formal night is wearing a dress shirt and slacks cut him some slack, that might be his definition of formal. His definition of how to dress might not match yours, but if you try, you might make a new friend. Enjoy your dinner, your family, new friends and have a great cruise!"

 

__________________

 

I have had this exact experience and it forever changed my attitude more than anything I've ever read on this board. We were seated with a wonderful family a couple of years ago who were not dressed what would be considered "appropriate" on any of the nights. Before the end of the first nights dinner, we were having a lovely time with them and they were the best cruise-dinner companions we have ever had.

 

Even though I still prefer to dress in the suggested attire, I look beyond what appearances may be. Probably the ugliest meal I've ever ate onboard a ship was with a woman we were seated with at a breakfast who griped the whole time about what other people were wearing, the extra charge for specialty dining, the itinerary, etc... We could not eat fast enough, the funny part was, she was a travel agent and her clothes were nice.

 

You really have to keep an open mind.