Teen Drinking and Carnival - Not For everyone

[Blk_Amish]

That's fine. Just don't keep using that as a crutch when someone elses counterpoint makes sense.

 

smh, a counter for what, be vigilant and check your kids luggage for booze, really?

It was meant to be a sincere post, not child rearing but more sneaky kids on board!

[Phlybice]

Child rearing hardly -"The purpose of sharing is just to let one parent like myself question more, ok, do final check of the luggage"

 

To me, that's already too late.

 

How old will they be before that would be stopped? They see you do that and stop them, they will one up you next time. They will be using rum runners against their own parents!

 

Just because I had a bottle in my possession at any age, didn't signal to me that I had to finish it. AT ANY AGE.

 

But I've also never taught my kids they have to hide anything from me. If they have to, they know they are already wrong.

[Blk_Amish]

To me, that's already too late.

 

How old will they be before that would be stopped? They see you do that and stop them, they will one up you next time. They will be using rum runners against their own parents!

 

Just because I had a bottle in my possession at any age, didn't signal to me that I had to finish it. AT ANY AGE.

 

But I've also never taught my kids they have to hide anything from me. If they have to, they know they are already wrong.

 

Maybe, maybe not. We can still try, be aware, speak out, share!

There might be one parent, like myself, who reads this, have a discussion as I did, with the child and by golly made a difference, just maybe!

I read about the death of the teen and revisited the issue with my own son.

[graphicguy]

Why put curfew issues on Carnival. Your the parent. Take charge and be the parent and set curfew on your own child... Too many parents sluff off parenting duties. Curfew is one that is a parents responsibility not a corporation.

 

AMEN! Best advice here....be the parent to your child!

 

If you've done your job as a parent, all the hand wringing over everyone else's offspring will be moot.

[AngAndBoys]

I think the village thing is misunderstood by many. It does not mean taking over parenting for a bad parent. It means every adult feeling empowered to intervene if they see an unsupervised kid misbehaving. If this was the norm, we wouldn't see kids running around drunk in the middle of the night counting on nobody saying a word to them about it.

 

I don't know about you guys,but I'm not omnipresent. I have absolutely no issue with other adults correcting my kids as long as it's done out of concern. For example, my neighbor saw my oldest son speeding through a parking lot in his car. He stopped him, talked to him about it, and told me. What is wrong with that? I certainly wouldn't have known otherwise and it needed to be addressed.

 

Most parents,I believe, care about their kids and have great intentions. But they can't know or see everything. There is nothing bad or wrong with us helping each other out when the opportunity arises. Why do so many of you have such an aversion to this?

[frayedend]

I think the village thing is misunderstood by many. It does not mean taking over parenting for a bad parent. It means every adult feeling empowered to intervene if they see an unsupervised kid misbehaving. If this was the norm, we wouldn't see kids running around drunk in the middle of the night counting on nobody saying a word to them about it.

 

I don't know about you guys,but I'm not omnipresent. I have absolutely no issue with other adults correcting my kids as long as it's done out of concern. For example, my neighbor saw my oldest son speeding through a parking lot in his car. He stopped him, talked to him about it, and told me. What is wrong with that? I certainly wouldn't have known otherwise and it needed to be addressed.

 

Most parents,I believe, care about their kids and have great intentions. But they can't know or see everything. There is nothing bad or wrong with us helping each other out when the opportunity arises. Why do so many of you have such an aversion to this?

 

 

It's difficult these days. We had a teen speeding on our dead end street all the time. When a parent of a toddler yelled at the teen, the teen's parent came down the street screaming at her that there are teens on the street and she needs to watch her toddlers and not yell at her kid. The adults these days take offense to everything and it makes people less apt to get involved at all.

[AngAndBoys]

It's difficult these days. We had a teen speeding on our dead end street all the time. When a parent of a toddler yelled at the teen, the teen's parent came down the street screaming at her that there are teens on the street and she needs to watch her toddlers and not yell at her kid. The adults these days take offense to everything and it makes people less apt to get involved at all.

 

*sigh* I know....that goes back to the overall attitude that our society is fostering...and it definitely shows in our kids. It's very selfish and self centered, and its hard to fight it. That being said, I am willing to risk verbal abuse from a misguided parent from time to time if necessary. The other thing is...you can't really yell at someone else's kid and expect a positive response. You gotta take a deep breath, put on your patient pants, and try to correct the kid appropriately.

[Socref124]

I seldom make comments on these threads but enjoy reading others comments and recommendations. I don't understand the need to judge others who's opinions are different than ours? I'm taking my 18 year old grandson on a 4 day cruise in October to celebrate his high school graduation. He has heard about the joys of cruising from my 12 cruises and I wanted him to share the experience. But now I'm worrying this is not the best idea? I sure don't want him drinking and won't be relaxing for me if I have to worry about him sneaking out the cabin at night to join friends he may make onboard! Should I rethink this vacation??

 

We were on the Paradise in March with one of our children and his family. We were sitting in the Punchliner Comedy Club and our 18 year old grandaughter ordered a drink. The server asked if she was 18 and she said yes. He copied her S&S number down and brought her a drink. I had to bite my tongue not to say something, but her mother and father were there and allowed this to happen:(. I did tell my wife that this wasn't right. I always thought the S&S cards were noted if you are of age or under age. Apparently they aren't.

I would lay down the rules and check him on ocassion.

[joeyancho]

Another reason not to have kids.....

[HarpHarp]

It is not wrong- Royal Caribbean has a curfew.

 

So does NCL. If there is no curfew and teens are wandering around "looking for trouble" as my gram would say, security can do nothing.

Now I'm sure we were all perfect when we were teens and NEVER did anything our parents told us not to:rolleyes: but as a teacher, in the Virgin Islands where the drinking age is 18, and public reference librarian for 25+ years, those "other" teens sure do.

As somone who has also been involved in alcohol metabolism research, I would like to point out that alcohol poisoning may not be recognized because the signs associated with intoxication may not be there. Poisoning is caused by binge drinking, most prevelant among those 18-20 and individuals who are poisoned are often thought to have just passed out or are "sleeping it off". Instead their respiration slows or they aspirate vomit & die.

I have my theories as to why binge drinking has increased so much in the last 15 years or so, but that's a discussion for another time & place.

[frayedend]

Another reason not to have kids.....

 

Now you tell me!!!! :D

[AngAndBoys]

Another reason not to have kids.....

 

 

No kidding!! It's too late for me, but you can still save yourself!!:D

[HarpHarp]

Another reason not to have kids.....

 

Be "careful" on your cruise then. I am aquainted with several cruise "souvenirs", some just entering the wonderful teen years:D

[fuddrules]

We were on the Paradise in March with one of our children and his family. We were sitting in the Punchliner Comedy Club and our 18 year old grandaughter ordered a drink. The server asked if she was 18 and she said yes. He copied her S&S number down and brought her a drink. I had to bite my tongue not to say something, but her mother and father were there and allowed this to happen:(. I did tell my wife that this wasn't right. I always thought the S&S cards were noted if you are of age or under age. Apparently they aren't.

I would lay down the rules and check him on ocassion.

 

What's not right about it? Perhaps it's not in line with Carnival policy, that part would be correct, but someone 18 having a drink with their parents is done all over the world with very few exceptions.

 

It's not a big deal.

 

Edited to add: In these states it would be perfectly legal as well: Connecticut, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Texas, Wisconsin, Wyoming

[nitro2448]

It is not wrong- Royal Caribbean has a curfew.

 

Just because RCI has a curfew doesn't mean it's right. It's only right if you agree with it.

 

 

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[nitro2448]

We were on the Paradise in March with one of our children and his family. We were sitting in the Punchliner Comedy Club and our 18 year old grandaughter ordered a drink. The server asked if she was 18 and she said yes. He copied her S&S number down and brought her a drink. I had to bite my tongue not to say something, but her mother and father were there and allowed this to happen:(. I did tell my wife that this wasn't right. I always thought the S&S cards were noted if you are of age or under age. Apparently they aren't.

I would lay down the rules and check him on ocassion.

 

Why is it not right ? There are 18 year olds mature enough to drink, and some 21 year olds not mature enough to drink. And in some cases it's legal.

 

 

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[LandlockedCruiser01]

Another reason not to have kids.....

That, and the reason why I'm glad I didn't start cruising until I was way over 21, and solo to boot. No monitoring, no curfews, no answering to anyone; just good, (mostly) clean fun. So far, 99% of responses on this thread say that everybody under 21 needs constant supervision on a cruise, because drinking is doubleplusungood ;).

[HarpHarp]

What's not right about it? Perhaps it's not in line with Carnival policy, that part would be correct, but someone 18 having a drink with their parents is done all over the world with very few exceptions.

 

It's not a big deal.

 

Edited to add: In these states it would be perfectly legal as well: Connecticut, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nevada, New York, Ohio, Texas, Wisconsin, Wyoming

 

In theory, yes, but anywhere outside the home, very doubtful. No establishment in OH would risk their very costly liquor license by serving anyone under 21. How would they prove that the adult is the spouse or parent of the under age consumer?

[fuddrules]

In theory, yes, but anywhere outside the home, very doubtful. No establishment in OH would risk their very costly liquor license by serving anyone under 21. How would they prove that the adult is the spouse or parent of the under age consumer?

 

Most states allow it inside the home with parental consent, at any age.

 

Ohio allows it in restaurants, bars, etc....You're correct many may not serve it, but that's a liability issue, not a legal one where they would lose their liquor license. It's perfectly legal (see below).

 

I don't know to what extent you have to go to prove "we are the parents" but I'm sure it's been established.

From Ohio Law

(B) No person who is the owner or occupant of any public or private place shall knowingly allow any underage person to remain in or on the place while possessing or consuming beer or intoxicating liquor, unless the intoxicating liquor or beer is given to the person possessing or consuming it by that person’s parent, spouse who is not an underage person, or legal guardian and the parent, spouse who is not an underage person, or legal guardian is present at the time of the person’s possession or consumption of the beer or intoxicating liquor.

[Out to sea!]

So screw those poor kids who don't have a set of parents who care right?? God forbid we do anything to help them. I was capable of taking care of my child too, but what do you suggest we (as a village) do about the parents who aren't capable??

 

Spend the money now to intervene, or spend it later to lock these kids up - your choice, but believe me you're going to pay one way or the other.

 

Instead of being self-righteous, I thank God everyday for my mother who was always there for us. However, that doesn't mean that I don't also look at those less fortunate and say "there but for the grace of God, go I."

 

I'm forever greatful for those people like the OP who advocate for children.

 

I have never, ever, in my life seen a child that didn't have parents at one point in their life. And i don't think we're talking about orphans so the kids that are being spoken about do indeed have parents. Now, if the parents can't or won't do their job, that's a problem between them and the state. It sure isn't my concern, responsibility, or obligation. And that type of liberal "we're responsible for everyone" type of thought is exactly why i don't want or need anyone else to attempt to raise my kids.

 

BTW - Just like a liberal to use "poor kids" to try and make a point. I know several "poor kids" who figured out how to pull themselves up by the boot straps and make something good of themselves without interferance from others.

 

And I'm no where near being self righteous, I'm just responsible and expect everyone else to be as well.

[HarpHarp]

Most states allow it inside the home with parental consent, at any age.

 

Ohio allows it in restaurants, bars, etc....You're correct many may not serve it, but that's a liability issue, not a legal one where they would lose their liquor license. It's perfectly legal (see below).

 

I don't know to what extent you have to go to prove "we are the parents" but I'm sure it's been established.

From Ohio Law

(B) No person who is the owner or occupant of any public or private place shall knowingly allow any underage person to remain in or on the place while possessing or consuming beer or intoxicating liquor, unless the intoxicating liquor or beer is given to the person possessing or consuming it by that person’s parent, spouse who is not an underage person, or legal guardian and the parent, spouse who is not an underage person, or legal guardian is present at the time of the person’s possession or consumption of the beer or intoxicating liquor.

 

 

You're right, that is exactly what the ORC says. That is why I said in theory. In practice in the Ohio college town where I live, the bars will not even let you in the door, with parent or not, unless you are 21. The LLCB runs checks all the time and as I said, most establishments would not risk serving anyone that might be under 21 unless they can prove they are not. Indeed, like Carnival, it is against the rules to serve or even admit anyone under 21 in all places in the county. Every week there is a list of under age drinkers in the local paper. Bars caught in LLBC undercover operations have been closed.

I'm imagining the legal mess caused by 2 couples going out to dinner. Let's say one member of each couple is 22, the other 20 and they all order alcohol. Is the server really expected to check marriage license and ID?

[nitro2448]

I have never, ever, in my life seen a child that didn't have parents at one point in their life. And i don't think we're talking about orphans so the kids that are being spoken about do indeed have parents. Now, if the parents can't or won't do their job, that's a problem between them and the state. It sure isn't my concern, responsibility, or obligation. And that type of liberal "we're responsible for everyone" type of thought is exactly why i don't want or need anyone else to attempt to raise my kids.

 

BTW - Just like a liberal to use "poor kids" to try and make a point. I know several "poor kids" who figured out how to pull themselves up by the boot straps and make something good of themselves without interferance from others.

 

And I'm no where near being self righteous, I'm just responsible and expect everyone else to be as well.

 

I agree 100% with you on this

 

 

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[babyher]

I have never, ever, in my life seen a child that didn't have parents at one point in their life. And i don't think we're talking about orphans so the kids that are being spoken about do indeed have parents. Now, if the parents can't or won't do their job, that's a problem between them and the state. It sure isn't my concern, responsibility, or obligation. And that type of liberal "we're responsible for everyone" type of thought is exactly why i don't want or need anyone else to attempt to raise my kids.

 

BTW - Just like a liberal to use "poor kids" to try and make a point. I know several "poor kids" who figured out how to pull themselves up by the boot straps and make something good of themselves without interferance from others.

 

And I'm no where near being self righteous, I'm just responsible and expect everyone else to be as well.

 

 

Hitting the *LIKE* button like crazy here .

[loxley]

No, where I was born and raised, a village raising a kid means as adults we always look out for the best interest of children. As God is my witness, I thought I was part of a cruising community/village. Even though I don' know any here and hopefully some never will, I thought it was my responsibility to share what I learned, so maybe one parent can be more prepared. By doing this I thought I was being a good villager but it tuned out more like the village idiot. You know all villages need one, then again no village/community exist. I have people looking out for my kids as I do theirs, some I know, others I don't. If you think it's not a village/community business to look for for the best interest of kids, then I respect your opinion and your choice as a parent to care only about yours.

 

All I was trying to say, parents if you didn't or haven't, check the luggage. How really awful is that because I know I will next time. The rest like curfew or caring enough to give a darn about someone else's child, personal decision.

 

No, I doubt it. To get a different reaction you would need people/village/community who care. Most people live in towns with curfew, mine has one. Would it be so bad if I thought regardless of the parents, young kids out at 3 am is not a good idea, something should be done to protect the kids. We stand by and say or do nothing while the child become a possible victim as a result of having so-so or bad parents? Worse than a bad parent is the so- called good one, who thinks that poor child is not my responsibility because mine is fine and dandy.

 

I made it clear the purpose was to share what I learned from a good scource, my teen.

 

So help me out here. are you going to be checking the luggage of every child or is it only yours? Maybe your answer will be not to let your son make friends, ever. because if a friend has it and your son wants it, he will get it no matter what you do.

 

Where did you get the idea MOST towns have a curfew? I don't know of any that do.

 

One more thing. Since your talk with your son you discovered eye opening ways teens are smuggling, but I notice you have not cared to share them. That seems odd to me.

 

I have seen drunk teens onboard. I saw them on my last cruise both before and after midnight. After two night of 2am pizza, I decided to skip it after what I had to endure waiting for it. How many times can you hear living on a prayer sung at the top of their lungs of off keyed drunk teens. I just ordered room service.

 

Lastly, I don't think it is the teens that are smuggling that is the problem. I think they are getting it from mom and dad's stash or getting it in port. But how ever they are doing it, they are definately doing it.

[SeagoingMom]

I do appreciate OP's original posting, and I feel badly that the discussion has devolved into some unnecessary rancor. O.P.'s post was an eye-opener to me and probably to many parents regarding what could befall even the most "trusted" young people on a cruise, at least regarding alcohol. (And, of course, other posters added to the story with details of other potential pitfalls for youth on a cruise ship.)

 

How about this? If parents think (or even fear) that their children/offspring (of any age!) are not to be trusted or might be tempted beyond themselves on a cruise, why not simply not take them cruising? If you want a family vacation, choose one in which it would be easier to supervise the youth.

 

It seems to be very American (at least) to think that children/teens should be included in all the activities and situations their parents enjoy.

 

When our children were little (toddlers, e.g.) we would not take them to sit-down restaurants where we would have to stress over supervising their behavior or risk offending other diners. We felt it was inappropriate to expect that much "adult" behavior of our five young boys. Instead, we would take them to a fast food joint with a play area, or we would picnic in the park! As they matured, we expected more mature behavior of them, and instructed them in our age-appropriate expectations. Now that they are more mature, we take them to nice restaurants and many other other "grown-up" venues because they have learned how to behave.

 

But I have already told my 5 sons that I will not take them on a cruise with me. They are young. They are males. They are dare-devils, and fearless (always have been), and they are competitive and constantly egg each other on. I do not trust that they would behave in a manner I consider appropriate on board (but not due to alcohol, I think...:confused:) Rather, I fear they would be climbing the walls (literally) :mad: and using the railings as balance beams. :eek: While it may be true that other people's children will behave impeccably on their cruise (or perhaps not), if I think mine won't behave, I will not take them!

 

So when they have matured enough to prove to me that their behavior will allow all of us to enjoy a stress-free and safe vacation, I will consider cruising with them. Meanwhile, when we vacation as a family, we make other, more supervisable and less temptation-filled, choices.

 

It's that simple.

 

It is not appropriate for parents to lead their children/teens/offspring-of-any-age (or anyone else, either) into temptation, though the young people may want to be led there! And only a parent can (and should) determine whether a cruise is appropriate for his/her own offspring, based on their maturity level, trustworthiness, etc. We all have to use our best judgment.