shorts, dress code and insults

[TedC]

Although the issue may start with a simple question on dress, it soon evolves into hate mail, i.e. if you insist on following the code, you're an elitist. Even the dear departed Superstein called another poster who objected to his Caribbean shirt for formal night a racist. Seems as though being on vacation for some means to throw out any consideration for others.

 

One man’s insult is the protection of another’s freedom to be themselves. But then again, what do you expect when you can hide behind anonymity?

 

I wondered what happened to Superstein. Did he really "depart" - and not on a cruise ship - or did he just change screen names to protect the guilty?

[Giorgi-one]

I agree that we need to remain civil. But everytime I read the words "It's my vacation and I'll do what I want" ,I find it hard to resist a good barb. We have seen numerous dress code polls on these boards and I beleive the response on HAL was that about 90% preferred the dress codes to remain as they are. Certainly, it is no big deal to see a few people who do not adhere to dress codes. I'm not talking tux versus sport jacket, I'm talking jeans and shorts in the dining room and public areas. But where does it start to affect your vacation. 10%, 20%. How about if 50% of the people in the dining room wore jeans and shorts. How much fun would it be to dress up? We enjoy dressing up, but we ddin't even bother on NCL for that exact reason.

 

I also think the attitutdes start to change when it's obvious that someone is looking for support to ignore the suggested rules or indicates that if rules are not enforced then why should they follow them The original OP asks if shorts are proper, someone answers that HAL dress codes say no. But that answer is not good enough. Well, I never had to dress on NCL or Carnival, so why do I have to dress on HAL, etc. etc.

[lougee1043]

landlubber-- I hope I don't offend others with the black business suit I plan to wear on formal nights.:cool: >>>

 

you will offend no one unless you dont wear shoes -- i was a black suit kind of cruiser til i discovered renting a tux which means i dont have to carry the suit- the shirts and the ties---------my tux is delivered to my cabin in time to have minor alterations made if needed

 

[Landlubber54]

1. Uh, yeah. It is easy to go off topic. Getting back on the OP's issue: Anything said here has to be taken with a grain of salt. If one is really pi**ed and resorts to insults, what's the worst that happens? A thread is taken down (which may have been the goal of the pi**ed one). And with the anomymity of the internet and the ease of changing screen names, it can become a silly game for the bored and/or deranged.:rolleyes:

 

2. Yeah, I considered tux rental. Especially with a land tour preceding the cruise. I just hope the suit doesn't look like burlap when I go to hang it up.:o And, yes, I will be wearing shoes.:)

3. Yup. There won't be many perfect fits, but each individual should find the style that best suits them, and stick with it.

[ekerr19]

And with the anomymity of the internet and the ease of changing screen names, it can become a silly game for the bored and/or deranged.:rolleyes:

 

Landlubber - Couldn't agree more. I think most of these people would never be so bold in a face to face situation.

 

What really gets to me are the personal insults... I just don't understand that at all. Everyone has their own opinion - but there are those who constantly try to force their views down someone else's throat, so to speak and when they don't succeed, they resort to immature insults, like kids often do.

 

I've taken some heat when standing up to people who consistently engage in this childish behavior, and I wish it would just stop, but unfortunately it probably won't end any time soon.

 

I also think it's important to call these posters on their behavior - let them know that you see it for what it is - maybe that will stop some of them. :)

[lougee1043]

landlubber--"2. Yeah, I considered tux rental. Especially with a land tour preceding the cruise. I just hope the suit doesn't look like burlap when I go to hang it up.:o And, yes, I will be wearing shoes.:) >>>>

 

 

you rent the tux on line and its delivered to your cabin and then you dont have to worry that the suit looks like burlap------ shoes makes the man

[HeatherInFlorida]

I pass out pink slips to the dress code offenders .....................:eek:

 

Brian, I'm just wondering ... do you check to see if those you pass the pink slips out to end up wearing them to the dining room for dinner?;)

I like to get dressed up. The only reason I might get upset is if the non-dress code people begin to overpower the dress code people and HAL ends the practice altogether. That's my only concern.

I like civility, too. It's a shame there is such a lack of it here these days. I don't remember it quite this bad last summer. But I guess there's a lot of people who feel safe sitting behind their monitors and keyboards and not needing to face the people they attack. There's safety in their anonymity. It seems that most of the nastiest attacks come from people who are the most anonymous ... no signature to speak of, no picture, sometimes not even a location.

I hope it goes back the other way.

[stanford's girl]

K&RCurt,

Loved both of your posts. Nice to see a post that speaks directly to the issue without veering off.:)

[caribbean girl]

In my view, there are some folks on these boards who look for opportunities to jump into a debate and get preachy with others, just for the sake of arguing. Maybe that was acceptable on a debate team. We are all adults here. Would they do so face to face? Probably not. Annonimity can give people carte blanche for some behaviours. And it seems that, just because they have been around for ever, no one contests their views or their manner of addressing others. In my opinion, every one is entitled to an opinion. Others can disagree, but there is no need to be belligerent. In the past, direct judgements have been made which I find unnecessary, assumptive and in very bad taste.

[FamilyofFourtoAlaska]

I have lurked on this one (and other similar posts) and finally someone said something that really clicks for me. HeatherInFlorida said something about the non-dress code people overpowering the dress code people. I informed DH in no uncertain terms that he was taking that ridiculously expensive tux he bought a couple of years ago on the cruise. He has so few opportunities to wear it, and it is truly handsome on him. When he sees only a few folks wearing one, I am in trouble! I thought my 9 y.o. son would be my saving grace; he is dying to wear a tux. I called the cruiseline rental and, unfortunately, they do not have tuxes for him at our port. My little fashionista will just have to stun them in his snappy Perry Ellis sport coat!

[Copper10-8]

In my view, there are some folks on these boards who look for opportunities to jump into a debate and get preachy with others, just for the sake of arguing. Maybe that was acceptable on a debate team. We are all adults here. Would they do so face to face? Probably not. Annonimity can give people carte blanche for some behaviours. And it seems that, just because they have been around for ever, no one contests their views or their manner of addressing others. In my opinion, every one is entitled to an opinion. Others can disagree, but there is no need to be belligerent. In the past, direct judgements have been made which I find unnecessary, assumptive and in very bad taste.

 

Right on, Cira! Very well said!!

[Peggy Sue]

Originally Posted by caribbean girl

In my view, there are some folks on these boards who look for opportunities to jump into a debate and get preachy with others, just for the sake of arguing. Maybe that was acceptable on a debate team. We are all adults here. Would they do so face to face? Probably not. Annonimity can give people carte blanche for some behaviours. And it seems that, just because they have been around for ever, no one contests their views or their manner of addressing others. In my opinion, every one is entitled to an opinion. Others can disagree, but there is no need to be belligerent. In the past, direct judgements have been made which I find unnecessary, assumptive and in very bad taste.

 

 

Excellent -- bravo!!

 

My experience here is those that become "preachy" are so black and white .. only their opinion can be right .. No effort to peacefully co-exist with a differing opinion. Life is full of differences, from politics, religion, dating .. you name it .. I wonder how "preachy" these folks become in real-life situations when someone differs from their opinion?

 

I recall a thread about a year ago over an innocent post about an anniversary cake ... I was shocked at the hateful responses that this thread generated ... over a cake! I agree with previous posters ... if we were to meet these people face to face ... would they really continue be so full of hot air??

 

Do any of you have a mental image of those that become "preachy"? I do, and they are fairly comical .....

 

Peggy

[tumeroll]

I have never been to an all-inclusive resort for a week. Tell me, is there a dress code for dinner at those places ?

 

Would be interesting to compare. MaryAnn;)

 

I take a ten day golfing vacation ever September at the Balsam's in Dixville Notch, NH and they have a dress code not only for the dining room but for the tennis courts and the golf course. And guess what, they inforce it and no one seems to arrive unprepared as they include the code with your reservation materials and I guess everyone who goes to this outstanding resort (full American plan and all activities including golf included in the room rate) can and does read.

[sail7seas]

Oh my goodness, Peggy.......you read my mind. I promise you that as I was reading this thread, the Anniversary Cake episode entered my mind. That was Amazing!!! And here it is almost a year later, and about to have another Anniversary. :)

[tumeroll]

[

 

My experience here is those that become "preachy" are so black and white .. only their opinion can be right .. No effort to peacefully co-exist with a differing opinion. Life is full of differences, from politics, religion, dating .. you name it .. I wonder how "preachy" these folks become in real-life situations when someone differs from their opinion?

 

 

 

Peggy

 

I do not feel preachy is the right word here. How about the ability to have an opinion and not back off every time someone calls you on it. One can easily get along with others without backing off from an opinion. I have some radically differing political folks in the family but if politics come up I do not back down from my opinion and I do not consider it preachy. Same for my opinions on Dress codes and general civilized behavior.

[RevNeal]

Well said, tumeroll. Very well said.

[caribbean girl]

I don't have any objection whatsoever to people who don't back down if they happen to have an opinion which is not shared by others. That was the original point...you're entitled to your views. The unsavory part is to have someone question your integrity and make value judgements on the individual because opinions differ. Especially based on a cyber blog. That is not the spirit of this forum. You have an opinion? By all means, express it. More power to you!! But don't attack me, my choices, my person, because I don't agree. There is not need to call someone 'nasty' or anything else. Keep your cool and state your view. I don't want to talk about politics in ANY specific terms, since I don't think it's an appropriate topic here. But this bit about not being able to accept other people's opinions in a civil manner reminds me of the last election. I found myself in several situations where people who supported someone different than me, just couldn't accept it. They got very personal and ugly. We live in the USA. I, for one, treasure my inelienable right to speak my mind, and in turn, to listen to another's views and not feel like it's an affront on my views.

[Allis154]

I don't have any objection whatsoever to people who don't back down if they happen to have an opinion which is not shared by others. That was the original point...you're entitled to your views. The unsavory part is to have someone question your integrity and make value judgements on the individual because opinions differ. Especially based on a cyber blog. That is not the spirit of this forum. You have an opinion? By all means, express it. More power to you!! But don't attack me, my choices, my person, because I don't agree. There is not need to call someone 'nasty' or anything else. Keep your cool and state your view. I don't want to talk about politics in ANY specific terms, since I don't think it's an appropriate topic here. But this bit about not being able to accept other people's opinions in a civil manner reminds me of the last election. I found myself in several situations where people who supported someone different than me, just couldn't accept it. They got very personal and ugly. We live in the USA. I, for one, treasure my inelienable right to speak my mind, and in turn, to listen to another's views and not feel like it's an affront on my views.

 

Well said, regardless where you are from!!!!

[Oceanwench]

I don't have any objection whatsoever to people who don't back down if they happen to have an opinion which is not shared by others. That was the original point...you're entitled to your views. The unsavory part is to have someone question your integrity and make value judgements on the individual because opinions differ. Especially based on a cyber blog. That is not the spirit of this forum. You have an opinion? By all means, express it. More power to you!! But don't attack me, my choices, my person, because I don't agree. There is not need to call someone 'nasty' or anything else. Keep your cool and state your view. I don't want to talk about politics in ANY specific terms, since I don't think it's an appropriate topic here. But this bit about not being able to accept other people's opinions in a civil manner reminds me of the last election. I found myself in several situations where people who supported someone different than me, just couldn't accept it. They got very personal and ugly. We live in the USA. I, for one, treasure my inelienable right to speak my mind, and in turn, to listen to another's views and not feel like it's an affront on my views.

 

Love your post. :)

[Copper10-8]

I don't have any objection whatsoever to people who don't back down if they happen to have an opinion which is not shared by others. That was the original point...you're entitled to your views. The unsavory part is to have someone question your integrity and make value judgements on the individual because opinions differ. Especially based on a cyber blog. That is not the spirit of this forum. You have an opinion? By all means, express it. More power to you!! But don't attack me, my choices, my person, because I don't agree. There is not need to call someone 'nasty' or anything else. Keep your cool and state your view. I don't want to talk about politics in ANY specific terms, since I don't think it's an appropriate topic here. But this bit about not being able to accept other people's opinions in a civil manner reminds me of the last election. I found myself in several situations where people who supported someone different than me, just couldn't accept it. They got very personal and ugly. We live in the USA. I, for one, treasure my inelienable right to speak my mind, and in turn, to listen to another's views and not feel like it's an affront on my views.

 

Great stuff, Cira!! You're on a roll

[bkonner]

How I hate formal night! But I bring a nice suite (I only have one). I am in IT and my field is very, very casual. Dressing up in my line of work is having shoes instead of flip flops during the summer. But I do not make waves so I dress up (and take my jacket off at the table). When dinner is over, I zip back to my cabin and put on my shorts. I want to enjoy myself. I do not understand why others get all pissed off when people do not dress up. I guess they have problems with people not following the rules (I must admit, when people do not follow the rules, it pisses me off too--but again, I hate formal night).

 

My only regret is that my 7.30 cruise is not a back to back. Oh, I wish I could do two weeks on the Zuiderdam. Alas, I am starting a new job two days after I get back. But at least I am staying in a Mariott in Ft. Lauderdale two nights prior to the cruise, and that's something I guess (not a cruise, but something).

 

Oh, how I LOVE HAL SHIPS! I do three a year!

 

Bkonner

[RuthC]

Such language! :eek: That's twice in this thread that posters have used vulgarities.

That should not be necessary.

[jessemon]

Seems as though the moderator tired of the insults being traded over the thread on shorts and dress code and pulled it .. a pity that as adults we can't have that discussion w/o resorting to personal attacks... ok to differ in opinions.. but can we agree to respect each individual's right to theirs??

 

I can see why the HOST pulled the first thread. You are still all acting like children!!!

If you all can't be civil...just read and don't post.

JMO;)

[dakrewser]

In my view, there are some folks on these boards who look for opportunities to jump into a debate and get preachy with others, just for the sake of arguing. Maybe that was acceptable on a debate team. We are all adults here. Would they do so face to face? Probably not. Annonimity can give people carte blanche for some behaviours. And it seems that, just because they have been around for ever, no one contests their views or their manner of addressing others. In my opinion, every one is entitled to an opinion. Others can disagree, but there is no need to be belligerent. In the past, direct judgements have been made which I find unnecessary, assumptive and in very bad taste.

 

Gee, and I hadn't even said anything yet! :rolleyes:

 

Still, there's nothing I've ever written on these boards that I wouldn't also say to the person addressed, face-to-face. Admittedly, I'd like to have a table between us (at least for some people:) ), but anyone who isn't willing to stand up and defend his/her words doesn't deserve the opportunity to spew them in the first place.

 

I'm always ready for a full-bore argument. But when verbal abuse enters in, you can be sure it's done to defelct attention from the abuser's weak argument.

[bookworm0911]

I'm always ready for a full-bore argument. But when verbal abuse enters in, you can be sure it's done to defelct attention from the abuser's weak argument.

And vice-versa. I've noticed many times that 'verbal abuse' is often claimed when the other poster did nothing but very effectively counter an opposing view. When there is nothing further to be said to defend their view, some posters then claim they have been personally insulted, when it fact nothing of the sort was done. :rolleyes: