Absolutely Awful Ideas for a Meet & Greet?

[POA1]

Here are some "Ice Breaker" name-tags I found.

 

Kit includes 13 sheets of peel-and-stick ice-breaker name tags, two Sharpie® pens, and a small, vinyl, vertical registration envelope

The eight ice-breaker name tags all say "Hello" and include these messages:

"my favorite famous person is"

"if I had a million dollars, I would"

"my obsession is"

"if my life was a movie, it would be"

"I never have enough time to"

"my life's theme song would be"

"if I had a factory, I would make"

"sometimes I wish I could"

 

http://www.pcnametag.com/ice-breaker-name-tag-kit

 

I think that's a good concept, but for our purposes, maybe the slogans on the name tags could be changed:

 

*Ask me my opinion on the dress code.

 

*Let's have a serious discussion about the new pillow chocolates.

 

*Who the heck decided to get rid of the Steak Diane?

 

*Wanna chat about balcony smoking? Me, too!

 

"How do you like my formal bathrobe?

 

*I (heart) ambient background music. Do you?

 

*The Adagio Strings were overkill. I want one Adagio guy. Or Adagio gal.

 

*If I had but one wish, it would be that they play "Piano Man" in the Piano Bar. It's so rare!

 

*Do you know where I can find the scalpers who sell low numbered tender tickets?

 

*Tell me all about how you got the same cabin as me for half the price. And $400 in OBC. With the Explore 4!

 

*If I had a second wish, it would be for another song you never hear, "Sweet Caroline."

 

*I (heart) the joyful exuberance of children laughing, running, jumping, and splashing in the Lido pool.

 

*I bet you can't guess if this is my real hair.

 

"Would I like to hear about your ailments? Who wouldn't?!?

 

*Is it just me, or are you tired of these smaller ships, too?

 

*The third wish? "New York, New York," of course!

 

*Can you believe that I've had this shirt since the Eisenhower administration?

 

*Sure, I'll talk about politics, but let's discuss religion first.

 

*Ask me my opinion on the wine policy.

 

*I have an entire suitcase of things that plug in and heat up in my room, including a soldering iron and a travel size arc welder.

 

*My lifeboat was on the shady side of the ship. Neener, neener!

 

*Even though I'm at this Meet & Greet, I am saving 6 chairs by the pool.

 

*You can never ask too many questions. Especially in line at the Lido buffet.

 

*Why yes, I am the most important person on the ship.

 

*I break wind in crowded elevators.

 

*Ask me why other cruise lines are better.

 

*Quite frankly, I'm still mad that they stopped holding Dutch night. Somebody owes me 27 Dutch caps!

 

*I (heart) the past.

 

*I think PETA is "People Enjoying Towel Animals."

 

*Cruising has changed a lot since my first voyage. For example, there are no longer two of every animal on board.

 

*I'm the reason they got rid of the dessert extravaganza.

 

*My way of tipping is the only correct one.

Edited July 23, 2014 by POA1

[Lizzie68]

That's hysterical! Off to bed, still laughing.....:D:D:D

[TiogaCruiser]

"*I'm the reason they got rid of the dessert extravaganza. "

 

That would make a great tshirt for someone I know.....

[Seago2]

Cookies and coffee with stunningly awkward silence followed by a grindingly slow tour of the ship. Ideally this should happen just as the sun comes out after 24-36 hours of rain. Everyone should have been instructed on their Roll Call how to bring homemade, hand wrapped gifts to give to their cabin stewards after display during the M&G. Half of attendees should forget these, leading to a frantic question and answer period and scrambling around by the self appointed M&G leader. As soon as possible the "leader" should begin to collect cash from attendees for a slot pull. 9/10ths of attendees will not have cash on them/not be clear on the concept/start eying the exits. The last hour of the five hour M&G should be spent silently awaiting the captain, who never shows.

[sapper1]

I think that's a good concept, but for our purposes, maybe the slogans on the name tags could be changed:

 

*Ask me my opinion on the dress code.

 

*Let's have a serious discussion about the new pillow chocolates.

 

*Who the heck decided to get rid of the Steak Diane?

 

*Wanna chat about balcony smoking? Me, too!

 

"How do you like my formal bathrobe?

 

*I (heart) ambient background music. Do you?

 

*The Adagio Strings were overkill. I want one Adagio guy. Or Adagio gal.

 

*If I had but one wish, it would be that they play "Piano Man" in the Piano Bar. It's so rare!

 

*Do you know where I can find the scalpers who sell low numbered tender tickets?

 

*Tell me all about how you got the same cabin as me for half the price. And $400 in OBC. With the Explore 4!

 

*If I had a second wish, it would be for another song you never hear, "Sweet Caroline."

 

*I (heart) the joyful exuberance of children laughing, running, jumping, and splashing in the Lido pool.

 

*I bet you can't guess if this is my real hair.

 

"Would I like to hear about your ailments? Who wouldn't?!?

 

*Is it just me, or are you tired of these smaller ships, too?

 

*The third wish? "New York, New York," of course!

 

*Can you believe that I've had this shirt since the Eisenhower administration?

 

*Sure, I'll talk about politics, but let's discuss religion first.

 

*Ask me my opinion on the wine policy.

 

*I have an entire suitcase of things that plug in and heat up in my room, including a soldering iron and a travel size arc welder.

 

*My lifeboat was on the shady side of the ship. Neener, neener!

 

*Even though I'm at this Meet & Greet, I am saving 6 chairs by the pool.

 

*You can never ask too many questions. Especially in line at the Lido buffet.

 

*Why yes, I am the most important person on the ship.

 

*I break wind in crowded elevators.

 

*Ask me why other cruise lines are better.

 

*Quite frankly, I'm still mad that they stopped holding Dutch night. Somebody owes me 27 Dutch caps!

 

*I (heart) the past.

 

*I think PETA is "People Enjoying Towel Animals."

 

*Cruising has changed a lot since my first voyage. For example, there are no longer two of every animal on board.

 

*I'm the reason they got rid of the dessert extravaganza.

 

*My way of tipping is the only correct one.

 

I was reading this page from the bottom up (don't ask) and I just knew that I would find your screen name attached to this post when I got to the top. Thanks for the laugh. :D

[Lis2065]

*I'm the reason they got rid of the dessert extravaganza.

 

Oh my - I love this! Have laughed so much my sides are hurting.....

 

Thanks!

[ger_77]

I think that's a good concept, but for our purposes, maybe the slogans on the name tags could be changed:

 

*Ask me my opinion on the dress code.

 

 

 

*Of course I'd love to hear all about your grandchildren!!" zzzzzzzzz

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[POA1]

I have to credit AlohaPride. Her name tag post was inspiring. :)

[Lovely other]

"*I'm the reason they got rid of the dessert extravaganza. "

 

That would make a great tshirt for someone I know.....

 

I think I should get that printed up for my Husband to wear ...:D

[djg541]

Many great suggestions!

Id try hiding whoopie cushions under all the chair cushions,then passing out bean burritos to all!

Everyone in robes would be a nice touch too.

[Homosassa]

And for those of us who have had a mastectomy(ies) and undergone reconstruction, a line on the name tag should read: "Yes, they're fake. Ask me how you can look this fabulous ."

[nana51]

God POA1 I would to cruise with you. I loved those name tag Ida.

[soundcruiser]

This is fabulous! As is this whole thread! Really perks up a gray day in the Pacific Northwest! Thanks for all your humor, folks!

[emjayel56]

Thanks. I'm leaning towards an event that involves a pre cruise weigh in at the Meet & Greet, and a meet up at the end of the trip, also involving a scale. I'm thinking Meet & Greet, then an Eat & Eat. Finally a Sigh & Bye with final weigh in.

OMG this is an absolutely hysterical post!!!! You guys are all too funny. My vote for the most awful idea goes to the weigh in!!! Have an awesome day everyone and keep smiling

Maryjo

[PatriciaF]

Cookies and coffee with stunningly awkward silence followed by a grindingly slow tour of the ship. Ideally this should happen just as the sun comes out after 24-36 hours of rain. Everyone should have been instructed on their Roll Call how to bring homemade, hand wrapped gifts to give to their cabin stewards after display during the M&G. Half of attendees should forget these, leading to a frantic question and answer period and scrambling around by the self appointed M&G leader. As soon as possible the "leader" should begin to collect cash from attendees for a slot pull. 9/10ths of attendees will not have cash on them/not be clear on the concept/start eying the exits. The last hour of the five hour M&G should be spent silently awaiting the captain, who never shows.

 

I was on a roll call that had something not quite as outrageous but simiarly planned--LOL--I didn't attend.

[YubaSutter]

How about a best liar meet and greet?

 

"Hi, my names Tom and I am the CEO of Microsoft"

 

or,

 

"Oh yes, Hillary and Bill are our next door neighbors in New York."

 

or

 

"Remember that shark from Jaws? Well, that's what I use for bate when I go deep sea fishing"

 

or,

 

"I was Sully's flight instructor. He owes it all to me!"

The CEO of Microsoft isn't Tom, it's Satya. Used to be Bill.

[POA1]

The CEO of Microsoft isn't Tom, it's Satya. Used to be Bill.

HamOp was spinning an extremely intricate lie for his Meet & Greet fib. :D. He's very serious about winning the $50 Beverage Card they give away for the best CC Meet & Greet. (Part of the "Fifty Bucks in Ale for the Best Tall Tale promo.**)

 

**Select sailings only. Yours is not eligible.

Edited July 23, 2014 by POA1

[babyher]

Cookies and coffee with stunningly awkward silence followed by a grindingly slow tour of the ship. Ideally this should happen just as the sun comes out after 24-36 hours of rain. Everyone should have been instructed on their Roll Call how to bring homemade, hand wrapped gifts to give to their cabin stewards after display during the M&G. Half of attendees should forget these, leading to a frantic question and answer period and scrambling around by the self appointed M&G leader. As soon as possible the "leader" should begin to collect cash from attendees for a slot pull. 9/10ths of attendees will not have cash on them/not be clear on the concept/start eying the exits. The last hour of the five hour M&G should be spent silently awaiting the captain, who never shows.

 

 

 

 

 

*LOL*

 

And this would also be a great time to set up tables for selling private excursions , or Mary Kay, or Amway , or Tupperware , or your grandkids Girl Scout cookies. *LOL*

[POA1]

*LOL*

 

And this would also be a great time to set up tables for selling private excursions , or Mary Kay, or Amway , or Tupperware , or your grandkids Girl Scout cookies. *LOL*

We've never been on a cruise with a formal meet & greet, but if people are going to sell me stuff, where do I sign up? ;)

 

Not for selling stuff, mind you - but for being on the receiving end of high pressure sales pitches. Nothing says vacation like that!

Edited July 23, 2014 by POA1

[ger_77]

"Hi everyone, my name is Ger. Thanks for joining us; did you know that just by talking to you folks about (fill in the name of your favourite pyramid sales group) this morning, I get to deduct this whole cruise? Now who would like to be the first to sign up for this great business opportunity to be part of my awesome team and deduct the cost of their cruise, too?":eek:

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[DaveOKC]

*LOL*

 

And this would also be a great time to set up tables for selling private excursions , or Mary Kay, or Amway , or Tupperware , or your grandkids Girl Scout cookies. *LOL*

 

Maybe the ship's excursion desk would let you use the office to sell your own excursions when they are not using it!

DaveOKC

[mkl55]

I've been struggling with my contribution to this event as there are so many wonderful and fun filled suggestions. I've decided to provide refreshments! Since I've learned that I cannot use certain electrical devices in my cabin, I will leave my usual turkey roaster at home and instead will deep fry a frozen turkey on the verandah and serve it with the wine I have smuggled on board. Feel free to wear your bathrobes.

[christy744]

Thanks for the laughs POA1 and all who jumped in on this thread. I will never attend another M&G. Fun stuff. :-)

[cruiser gilly]

HamOp was spinning an extremely intricate lie for his Meet & Greet fib. :D. He's very serious about winning the $50 Beverage Card they give away for the best CC Meet & Greet. (Part of the "Fifty Bucks in Ale for the Best Tall Tale promo.**)

 

**Select sailings only. Yours is not eligible.

 

POA1 please add future cruises to your signature - you'll have a throng of fans following you around the world!

[TheEmerson]

I am surprised. No one thought of a M&G in the steam rooms in the spa. Towels optional........