When did you last...

[Lerin]

No one ever comes into my place of work and asks if I need something from a store in another country.

 

Cruise employees get to travel the world, they have access to items that I can only dream of(European chocolates and less expensive medications come to mind...)

 

I find the concept of asking to run an errand odd and almost rude. It implies they are more aligned with slaves than paid employees.

Besides what if they say yes? Next thing you know you are missing your well-earned vacation and running all over town looking for random items.

 

I don't pay for vacation to run errands, I can stress about those at home.

[whogo]

I agree. I do not consider crew members to be friends. In order for friendship to happen, the two people must be social equals, or at least near-equals. This is not possible where one is a passenger and the other is a service employee. Those aren't equal roles.

Excellent post! This is a key point of etiquette that many people have not learned. Thank you for posting this. How awkward it is for service people to have passengers chumming up to them!

[kelkel2]

Two phrases come to my mind as I read this: "random acts of kindness" and "pay it forward" both of which are voluntary and simply to make the world a nicer, more considerate place. Is there an obligation to do this? Nope....and don't do it if you don't want to. Is it a random act of kindness? Yep and it can make another person's day.

 

Agreed!!!

I haven't thought to ask before, but you can bet I will on our next cruise.

Now, no one is suggesting you have to or that you have to go out of your way to run an errand. But, most of the ports you visit have a small shop with stuff to purchase right by the ship. I don't mind asking if I know I don't have an excursion that will get in the way. Usually I spend my island time shopping anyways and picking up a small item would be no big deal.

You never know the situation. The steward my really need something. Who knows, they'll likely say no, but I would be happy to get them something if they say yes!

[OctoberKat]

This is a tres amusing thread.

[MrsPete]

I figure cabin stewards have friends among the crew who run errands for each other on port calls.

 

My policy is to tip generously and keep our cabin as clean and neat as possible to ease the steward's work load a bit. I also praise highly the effort they are making and let them know I appreciate their work.

 

Beyond those things, I don't want to get on a more personal basis with them anymore than I would for land-based wait staff in restaurants or room cleaners in hotels.

Well, we're on the same page.

 

I figure my responsibility is to be a pleasant guest, be reasonably neat in my room, say thank you genuinely each time I see the cabin steward in person, and tip generously at the end of the cruise.

 

Anyone who's arguing we "owe" more than that is wrong.

 

Asking a staff person if you can do a personal errand for him may well make that person feel awkward; I would feel awkward if one of my students offered to run errands for me on his personal time.

 

Furthermore, what if you offer and the staff person asks you to do something that's going to take more time than you'd intended to put into the task . . . or what if you can't find the appropriate store? The port probably isn't a port you know well, and it's quite possible that you'll be unable to complete the errand -- isn't it worse to offer and then be unable to follow through?

[huggs]

It would appear you are either the kind of traveler who choses to not follow the normal rules of " professional relationships" and roles and may indeed take a bit of time to get to know your room steward, dining room waiter and or others during the course of your cruise.

 

I do not consider a simple kind gesture of offering to pick up something should you see it along the way for a cabin steward, or cruise staff member an insult or crossing of boundaries. It is my nature to offer assistance to lots of people as I go through life, I chose not to worry so much about offending, crossing boundaries or breaking social rules/norms as I do with following my heart and being kind and paying it forward. This is who I am ...and never plan to change .

 

I personally have been challenged in my own professional life due to some of these so called rules and expectations, but I have held firm to my values and beliefs and surprisingly have turned others around .. I have successfully had relationships with employees, who were friends when in a supervisory capacity. It can be done !! So I think the same holds true in this situation, but respectfully I know others do not and will not agree with me.

 

Either way, as long as we are always kind, respectful and treat each other with dignity it is those values that matter the most .

Edited December 3, 2014 by huggs
change of wording

[BridgeMates]

It would appear you are either the kind of traveler who choses to not follow the normal rules of " professional relationships" and roles and may indeed take a bit of time to get to know your room steward, dining room waiter and or others during the course of your cruise.

 

I do not consider a simple kind gesture of offering to pick up something should you see it along the way for a cabin steward, or cruise staff member an insult or crossing of boundaries. It is my nature to offer assistance to lots of people as I go through life, I chose not to worry so much about offending, crossing boundaries or breaking social rules/norms as I do with following my heart and being kind and paying it forward. This is who I am ...and never plan to change .

 

I personally have been challenged in my own professional life due to some of these so called rules and expectations, but I have held firm to my values and beliefs and surprisingly have turned others around .. I have successfully had relationships with employees, who were friends when in a supervisory capacity. It can be done !! So I think the same holds true in this situation, but respectfully I know others do not and will not agree with me.

 

Either way, as long as we are always kind, respectful and treat each other with dignity it is those values that matter the most .

 

 

Your Screen Name suits you. :)

[sail7seas]

What I find particularly noticeable is how defensive both sides seem to be on this question. We all have different opinions on most of the threads but this one seems to be startlingly black and white with little gray.

[OctoberKat]

It IS interesting. But the dynamics of discussion boards regularly fetch up such divisions.

 

Most remarkable to me is the manner in which the original post was cast as a classical guilt trip, thereby putting almost everyone on the defensive.

[sail7seas]

It IS interesting. But the dynamics of discussion boards regularly fetch up such divisions.

 

Most remarkable to me is the manner in which the original post was cast as a classical guilt trip, thereby putting almost everyone on the defensive.

 

Funny,,,,,, I didn't see it that way. :shrug:

 

 

[iancal]

Notwithstanding the comments, when either of us do a random act of kindness the last thing we would do is brag about it.

 

We simply do it and keep it to ourselves.

Edited December 4, 2014 by iancal

[babyher]

Notwithstanding the comments, when either of us do a random act of kindness the last thing we would do is brag about it.

 

We simply do it and keep it to ourselves.

 

 

 

 

I remember reading a book by a Hollywood "Insider" once . he stated for every big celebrity that is world renowned for his charity and generosity , and has the plaques and awards and testimonial dinners and humanitarian Oscars and buildings named after them. There are some who give way more and help out more than the famous ones and no one would believe it if they knew . The author didn't mention names .

[ducklite]

Never, and I never would. I think some people misjudge the cordial behavior that service crew show to guests as friendship. It is not. It is what is expected of them as part of their job.

 

Just like I wouldn't expect one of my customers to ask me if they could run a personal errand for me, I wouldn't ask the same of a cruise line employee. It causes blurred lines, and can put people who are in essence working for you into an uncomfortable situation.

 

By the way, I've never been on a cruise where staff didn't get at least a few hours of shore leave every week, during which time they could run personal errands.

[ducklite]

Well, we're on the same page.

 

I figure my responsibility is to be a pleasant guest, be reasonably neat in my room, say thank you genuinely each time I see the cabin steward in person, and tip generously at the end of the cruise.

 

Anyone who's arguing we "owe" more than that is wrong.

 

Asking a staff person if you can do a personal errand for him may well make that person feel awkward; I would feel awkward if one of my students offered to run errands for me on his personal time.

 

Furthermore, what if you offer and the staff person asks you to do something that's going to take more time than you'd intended to put into the task . . . or what if you can't find the appropriate store? The port probably isn't a port you know well, and it's quite possible that you'll be unable to complete the errand -- isn't it worse to offer and then be unable to follow through?

 

I couldn't have written this better and agree 100%. I greet the various crew members pleasantly, but I don't inquire about their families, likes and dislikes, or more than a cursory question/comment on where they are from. (ie I understand it is very beautiful in that area/I've heard the area offers excellent cuisine/how far is that village from XYZ City?) It is NOT my business to know. I don't tell them my business, either.

 

I show my appreciation for a job well done in the universal language--cash.

[6rugrats]

Never. I don't understand threads where posters state they have become lifelong friends with staff, or ones asking what to bring them for gifts, or this one either.

 

I am polite, neat and tip for a job well done. I am not friends with the crew, and I don't run errands for them. This has nothing to do with compassion.

 

Sometimes, I wonder if people are motivated by guilt when they do such things? Or, that they feel the crew has a demeaning job, so they have to make up for it in some way? Just a thought.