Child Safety - Overreacting or Not?

[kyriecat]

I was on an RC ship a couple weeks ago with my sister-in-law. One night she wanted some coffee at around 1:30 AM. When she got on the elevator to go down to Cafe Promenade, there were 3 girls (she said they looked between 13 and 15) sitting on the floor, playing cards.

 

My SIL asked what they were doing and was told that they were two sisters and a cousin who were sailing with family. They were sharing cabins with their parents, who wanted to go to bed so told the girls to go somewhere else. The girls said they hung out in the teen club until it closed. They didn't want to go back to their cabins, but a security guy told them they couldn't hang out on the pool deck because curfew was 1 AM for under 18. The girls decided to sit in the elevator instead. My SIL thought it was weird but since the girls weren't being noisy or misbehaving, she decided not to say anything.

 

After she got some coffee, she ended up in the same elevator with the girls, but this time a man that my SIL said looked to be early to mid-50s had joined them. My SIL asked the man if he was related to the girls and he told her that he wasn't but was sitting with them so security would leave them alone.

 

My SIL thought it was really creepy that a man was hanging out with mid-teen girls who were not kin so she called guest relations when she got to her cabin to ask if they would send security to check out the situation. She went back to elevator about 10 minutes later and everyone was gone.

 

She asked me the next morning if I thought she had overreacted by calling for security. She wasn't trying to cause trouble and had no proof that the man was going to do anything to the girls, but she was concerned anyway. I thought she did the right thing, but I'm not an appropriate sounding-board since I don't have any kids.

 

After the cruise I mentioned the incident to some coworkers who have teens to see if they want security called if their teens were hanging out with an adult stranger. Many of them thought my SIL shouldn't have done anything. They said ships are safer than home and the odds of a pedophile being onboard are almost non-existent. Since the girls were together and had their parents' permission to be out past ship curfew, my SIL was interfering. I was surprised by the responses.

 

I am curious what other cruisers suggest to do in that situation. Ignore it? Call security? Confront the man?

 

My SIL told me that she didn't see either the girls or the man after that night and she hoped that her actions didn't cause anyone to be thrown off the ship. I don't think that not seeing them is really surprising considering the size of Navigator, and I also don't think RC would throw anyone off for just sitting in an elevator with underage girls or for letting kids stay out past curfew.

[dbali]

Your SIL did the right thing. Those kids should have gone to bed a long time ago. Bad things can and do happen on a ship just like everywhere else.

[jennywren46]

I think she did the right thing but I think the security should have gone to the parents how could they have gone to bed and left children of that age to do their own thing.maybe I'm old fashioned but that's totally irresponsible.who knows what could have happened

[SpainAlien]

I am a Mum and a step-mum, whenever we took our kids on holiday (1 boy, 1 girl 10 years apart) we stayed with the kids all the time unless they were in a kids club, there is no way I would have let them be on their own in an elevator. Having said that if the parents had honestly believed the children were still under the care of the kids club and they were my kids I would have been grateful that someone had called security. Presumably the girls were escorted back to their rooms safely.

 

A cruise ship is like a small town there is always a chance that bad people are on board. There are occasional reports of people being robbed, beaten up and raped on cruise ships, why take the risk.

 

Well done you, I would have done exactly the same or taken the girls to guest services myself to ensure they were not left alone for one more minute with this stranger.

[Trainman-2]

 

With kids, "Better Safe Than Sorry", is a good rule.

[BekkaW]

After the cruise I mentioned the incident to some coworkers who have teens to see if they want security called if their teens were hanging out with an adult stranger. Many of them thought my SIL shouldn't have done anything. They said ships are safer than home and the odds of a pedophile being onboard are almost non-existent. Since the girls were together and had their parents' permission to be out past ship curfew, my SIL was interfering. I was surprised by the responses.

 

This is completely incorrect. I really don't understand how anyone could think this.

 

Also, curfew is curfew. There's no exemption of having permission to be out after it. I hope the ship staff had a lengthy talk with these parents about their irresponsible behavior.

[A&L_Ont]

For starters they could have sat some where better than in the elevator. Depending on the ship, a table in the atrium is always good, right within sight of the pursers desk. No creepy guy should have caused problems there. If security was going to have a problem with them sitting there, they for sure would not have like them riding the elevator. That is wrong for so many reasons, starting with germs on the floor.

 

Calling security was the right thing IMHO. The parents should have either told their kids to go to bed, tired or not when teen club closed or at a specific time at least. Makes you wonder if they knew or didn't care. It might have been better if security spoke to the parents later about what happened and the. Informed them about the stranger with them. Your SIL might not have seen the kids as hopefully the parents kept a better eye on them.

 

Teens don't always make good decisions, and who knows what the man was up to. I doubt they were kicked off the ship, unless this wasn't their first run in with security for the parties involved. Many times people should mind there own business, this is not one of them.

Edited June 21, 2015 by A&L_Ont

[read52]

Your sister-in-law did the right thing. In some states, parents could be arrested for not properly supervising their children at that time of the night. A cruise ship is a small town and bad things can happen.

[sauvichick]

She absolutely did do the right thing! There are creepy people everywhere. Just because you're on a ship doesn't mean it's a safe environment. Things can happen too. What is wrong with those parents? And I hope security spoke to those parents!

[BND]

She did the right thing. The ship is not safer perse than at home and pedolphiles most definitely can be on a ship, just as anywhere else. Geez people, get real (and get a clue). That man WAS being creepy. Any adult male up at that time wasn't looking to "help" children keep security away for no reason. I raised two boys and I wouldn't have been comfortable with that situation. The parents should be ashamed of themselves. It was after curfew so anywhere they hung out they would be told to go to their cabin. I hope security escorted them back to their cabin to their parents and woke them up. Whatever happened to the parents just saying, okay, we're all going to bed now?

[LovesCruising]

I would have thought that situation was creepy as well - shame on the parents - your SIL did the right thing.

[jackinlux]

Your SIL definitely did the right thing,could you imagine if she woke up the next morning and heard them paging those girls name. Terrible things happen, maybe I'm overly protective but my daughter was in the cabin when we were. I have seen children running around on their own so many time, and it just makes you wonder (Where Are Their Parents) Go figure, they'll be the first to cry foul 😏

[CaptData]

I am a grandmother to teens now. I went on ships with them when they were younger. They had rules to follow ie no one allowed in our room. Be back in the room by a certain time , before curfew. If they leave the club they must stay together and come back to the room and write where they are going (this was when they were in the teen club).

 

She did the right thing. Yes, the man may have been innocent in that he was just protecting the girls by staying with them but it could have been for other reasons as well.

 

My eldest granddaughter is going with me on Anthem next May. She will be 19. She has told me that the rules that applied when she was in the Teen Club are still good rules to follower ie leave notes where she intends to be. Although she has no curfew, she said that she intends to be back by 1 am. She will also follow my drink policy in that if she leaves her drink to dance or go somewhere it is a dead drink. This way she won't worry about if someone slipped something in to it. She will just get a new drink (she has the package so she can do this easily (Royal Replenish).

Edited June 21, 2015 by CaptData

[Thoie]

She did the right thing. The ship is not safer perse than at home and pedolphiles most definitely can be on a ship, just as anywhere else. Geez people, get real (and get a clue). That man WAS being creepy. Any adult male up at that time wasn't looking to "help" children keep security away for no reason. I raised two boys and I wouldn't have been comfortable with that situation. The parents should be ashamed of themselves. It was after curfew so anywhere they hung out they would be told to go to their cabin. I hope security escorted them back to their cabin to their parents and woke them up. Whatever happened to the parents just saying, okay, we're all going to bed now?

 

I would have thought that situation was creepy as well - shame on the parents - your SIL did the right thing.

 

I think your sister-in-law did the right thing in that the girls shouldn't have been wandering around alone at that hour. I wouldn't immediately assume that the 50 year old man was creepy (though you can't rule that out either). It's possible he's a father with kids that age himself, and was concerned about them, and staying with them to ensure nothing bad happened them and that they didn't get pestered by drunks.

 

I'd probably have notified guest services when I went to get coffee initially.

 

While cruise ships are no different from anywhere else, and there can be bad people everywhere, in general there are far more normal people in the world than bad people.

[jahannah]

Weighing in as a parent, you did the right thing. Cruise ships are a microcosm of society with the same problems as the real world. I know you would have been heartbroken if you had heard that something had happened to those kids and you had done nothing. You have my and many other parents' thanks for getting involved.

[denatravels]

Eewww-- that guy was creepy!! Absolutely she did the right thing!

[APDMOM]

After the cruise I mentioned the incident to some coworkers who have teens to see if they want security called if their teens were hanging out with an adult stranger. Many of them thought my SIL shouldn't have done anything. They said ships are safer than home and the odds of a pedophile being onboard are almost non-existent.

 

This is total ignorance on the part of your co-workers. They need to read some events at sea reports on cruise junkie... Just looking at the Disney events this morning, there is a report of a Rochester man who was sentenced for abusive sexual contact with 13 year old on a Disney ship in 2006. He posed as a security officer, even though he was a passenger.

 

Last month, a passenger on Coral Princess was arrested for murder. The murder was not commited on the ship, but he still managed to cruise to Alaska.

 

Also last month, a passenger on Liberty of the Seas was arrested for stealing cash.

 

There is an April report that a crew member (from Mauritius) of Quantum of the Seas sexually assaulted a passenger.

 

I am sharing these reports for people to realize a ship is not much different from where you live. Would you allow your five or six year old to walk alone in a mall? Yet, I see it all the time on ships. Think about it... The US has a fairly good background checking system, but it is still not perfect. Now, think about all the foreign countries that crew members come from. How do you do a background check for prior crimes in those countries? Now, I am not constantly suspicious of all the crew members. I appreciate them and their hard work. I am just careful like I would be with any virtual stranger.

 

You can't be paranoid and let fear of something ruin your cruise, but you do need to be wise. Your SIL was wise. I would have done the same thing. I hope RCI gave these teens and their families a consequence for breaking the curfue...

[Donna_In_India]

It shocks me how people let their children (some very young) wander all over a ship alone at all hours. I can't tell you how many people on Disney say "it's Disney, nothing will happen". But it DOES! With a few thousand people on board, you'll have all kinds of people.

 

Your sister was absolutely correct in reporting the situation. I would have reported it immediately. And that man WAS creepy!

[skiiergirl]

SIL most definitely did the right thing!!! Bravo to her for being concerned!!! Too many folks these days would have said "not my problem". We need more folks like SIL in today's world! (and need fewer parents like your co-workers!)

[Out to sea!]

Well, I'm not going to hop on the bandwagon. Yes, your SIL went overboard. Can anyone tell me in what year sitting down next to a kid became a criminal act? I agree, the parents are at fault for the kids being out so late but a guy sitting next to kids is not creepy, an indication of possible foul play, or a criminal act. If you don't that there were 3 kids in the elevator past curfew, call security for that but to call security because a man is sitting with them.......really?

[spookwife]

curfew at 1 am means IN YOUR CABIN if not with your parents or guardian/other adult SAILING WITH YOU.

 

 

not hanging out in an elevator with or without a random stranger. and FTR i would have done exactly what you SiL did even if the 'other adult' was only an old grandmother looking type.

 

while there is a better than 90% chance the gentleman was only trying to help and scare off predators( crew or passenger) it doesn't matter. minors must be IN THEIR CABIN if not in the presence of the adults sailing with them( or participating in a Kid's club activity) after curfew

[ronandannette]

For starters they could have sat some where better than in the elevator. Depending on the ship, a table in the atrium is always good, right within sight of the pursers desk. ...

 

...Teens don't always make good decisions, and who knows what the man was up to. I doubt they were kicked off the ship, unless this wasn't their first run in with security for the parties involved. Many times people should mind there own business, this is not one of them.

 

According to the OP the kids were purposely "hiding out" in the elevator because security had cleared them from a public area due to curfew. (Presumably they would not have been allowed to stay down in the atrium.)

 

Personally, if I had encountered them and they didn't bother me in any way I would not have addressed them at all and thus not known anything about their situation. Upon seeing a man with them on my return to the elevator it wouldn't have occurred to me that anything was amiss. I am a live-and-let-live kind of person.

 

BUT...that doesn't mean my approach is always right. Knowing what your SIL knew about the kids being on their own, unsupervised and knowing the man was a stranger - yes, I think erring on the side of caution was the correct action. I hope the girls were escorted back to their cabins and their parents woken and informed. I also hope they were advised that further action would be taken if the same kids were found breaking curfew again. I hope the parents and the kids had an "ah ha" moment about their responsibilities, shipboard rules and the potential for danger. One can always hope.

Edited June 21, 2015 by ronandannette

[LA_CA_GAL]

Well, I'm not going to hop on the bandwagon. Yes, your SIL went overboard. Can anyone tell me in what year sitting down next to a kid became a criminal act?

 

Maybe not a criminal act, however, any adult male that would put himself in a position to be alone in the company of minor children has a screw loose IMHO.

 

If you had minor children, would you want some strange adult male in their company in the wee hours of the morning?:confused:

[MommaBear55]

Maybe not a criminal act, however, any adult male that would put himself in a position to be alone in the company of minor children has a screw loose IMHO.

 

If you had minor children, would you want some strange adult male in their company in the wee hours of the morning?:confused:

 

No, I would not want my children with an unknown male. However, my kids would have been in the cabin with me.

 

I think the SIL did the right thing. Better to err on the side of caution. You can never prove she prevented a problem, but because of her intervention nothing bad happened!

[irishhrts4]

I'm not saying what your SIL did was right or wrong, but I'm curious...

If it was a 50-ish WOMAN in that situation, would it still be creepy?

I was raised by my dad after my parents got divorced...He is a kind and sweet man. I also used to baby sit for kids that lived with their dad. Once, while his daughter was in daycare, he went in to help out. Mothers freaked out that this dad was helping the kids (boys and girls) in the bathroom. I never heard anyone complain when other moms helped out the little ones in the bathroom.

It really upsets me when people look at men as creepers.

Just my 2 cents