A Redneck's Review of an Alaskan Cruise- Part Deux

[RedneckBob]

Hi y'all, Redneck Bob here;

 

Bet you didn't know I spoke French (Part Deux); of course it is spoken in Southern France.

 

STOP !

 

If you did not read Part One of my review you will probably not understand Part Deux; so go back and read it. This is like one of those soap operas like The Young & the Restless. I've been watching it since I was laid up in the Hospital where back in 1982 and if you miss one show the next one don't make sense. Oh well let's continue.

 

Where was I at, Oh Yes, Icy Straits.

 

Icy Straits (continued); Well as I had prior talked about I did the zipline at Icy Straits. What a ride ! Someone asked me if I would do anything differently to make the ride more excitin'. Oh yes I replied. I think instead of wearing my jeans I would wear Scottish Kilts. Now that would be exciting !

 

Anchorage: Next stop Anchorage. When we arrived it was a beautiful day. HAL had provided a free shuttle to town; no the City had provided a free shuttle to town since you could not walk through the port to get to town. Me & the Misses set out at 9 AM and got on the shuttle bus. Well to my surprise we had a lady bus driver named Mabel and her side kick Rosemary. During the ride to town they were carrying on so much it kind of reminded me of one of those episodes from Hee Haw. Mabel said, "We are going to have a heat wave today". Rosemary replied, Yes Mabel, I think I will go to Walmart and buy me a pair of shorts and put them on." Mabel said, "What size" to which Rosemary barked, "None of your business". Well this went on for several minutes and being in the 2nd row on the bus I said to the ladies, "I am Redneck Bob and what is the temperature going to be today in Anchorage. Mabel replied, Nice to meet you Redneck Bob, it is going to be hot ! 75 degrees in Anchorage. Well I replied, "I be dogged." for which Mabel said, " that right, it's the dog days of summer !" :rolleyes:

 

Well we got to downtown and most of the shop were closed so we decided to go to the Museum which had been recommended by the Port Guide. Boy was it something. How those eskimos lived hundreds of years ago was something. And do you know that that wore very thin jackets to keep them warm while fishing that were made from, the best way to describe it was from the digestive tracks of wild game. That sounds pretty awful. Well I figured it this way, if they ever get eaten by one of those animals they will feel at home since they know what it is like inside from the jacket they made; like the rabbit and Uncle Remis; don't throw me into that Briar patch; well that's where the rabbit lived. You think I have carried this a little too far. After spending all morning in town we headed back to the boat an got ready for our next port of call.

 

Homer : Next stop Homer, Alaska. Well this was an interesting place. I never knew there would be a town named after a famous cartoon character. Homer Simpson. And to beat all Homer was located on a Spit. Well I did not plan to walk on land that was called Spit. I can imagine how that was named. But we decided to go ashore but the Spit was not the problem. When we pulled up to the docks there were 100's of birds waiting for us and you guess it, a lot of their markings on the dock. It stunk to high heaven like a dead shrunk in the middle of the road (remember that song back in 1972). Now I guess I would prefer the Spit to the bird droppings. We made it on the Spit and went for some oysters, to eat of course. But the locals wanted $3 a piece for oyster. What a rip off ! Back home we can go down to the Gulf and get them for 50 cent a piece. It's highway robbery I tell you. Well we went back to the boat very unhappy with our visit to Homer.

 

I'm getting tired again so I will continue this adventure tomorrow.

 

"I'm RedneckBob and I see it like I tell it, I mean tell it like I see it"

[hawkeye3d]

And not to bust ur balloon but no self respecting redneck would ever use the term "Part Deux"

 

Bob

[RedneckBob]

And not to bust ur balloon but no self respecting redneck would ever use the term "Part Deux"

 

Bob

 

I hate to tell you but when I grew up in Alabama I took French in grades 8, 9 and 10 from a wondeful French teacher, Monsieur Rene Leveque.

 

The only problem is that I am not good learning languages including ENGLISH !

 

When I arrived in grade 11 and showed up for my first day of 4th year French, Monsieur Leveque came up to me and said. "Mr. Redneck Bob, you have taken French from me for the past three years. You have learned nothing. I suggest you take Latin." :eek:

 

Well that's my story on French, Part Deux !

[Krazy Kruizers]

I am following your review so I didn't have to go back to part 1.

We have done your cruise 2 times. Both times we were in Icy Straight we did the whale watching tour -- loved it. DH has a problem -- so no zip lining for us.

Homer -- we loved that little port and the Spit. So many cute little shops. Remember that food in Alaska and other items are expensive compared to where some people live.

[sammiedawg]

I've really enjoyed both parts of your review. I love your writing style.

[G&G]

It appears the CC Forum removed the inappropriate post in response to Redneck Bob's original post.

 

Thanks CC Admin.

[Himself]

Your posts are entertaining.

[erewhon]

Thanks for continuing your review.

[puppycanducruise]

Thanks for your review.

Looking forward to reading more.

[cruise_mojo]

I got em one time when I was ten.:o I ate too many chilly willys after a church softball game in the summer:eek:!!!!!

 

no wait that was the icy sh**s!;)

 

NE way, keep it coming and when its all ovah we'll see hoo the real redneck is!:rolleyes:

[Winters in NZ]

Good decision to not wear the kilt for the zipline adventure. Might only be legal in Nevada. Or perhaps in New Hampshire...Live Free or Die.

[summer slope]

Love your reviews. Please continue.

[wishful thinking]

Waiting patiently for Part Trois! :)

[RedneckBob]

Waiting patiently for Part Trois! :)

 

Sorry for the delay.

 

Our little neighborhood is in a rural part of Florida. Since July 01 we have had over 30 inches of rain including 7 inches on Monday. I have been spending time cleaning things up but now I'm back and hope to have my final review Part 3 today.

[wishful thinking]

Sorry for the delay.

 

Our little neighborhood is in a rural part of Florida. Since July 01 we have had over 30 inches of rain including 7 inches on Monday. I have been spending time cleaning things up but now I'm back and hope to have my final review Part 3 today.

 

So happy to hear the next instalment is coming soon. And that's a bummer about all that rain! Hope it calms down for you soon.

[bonvoyagebites]

Good stuff. Thanks for sharing.

[RedneckBob]

Good decision to not wear the kilt for the zipline adventure. Might only be legal in Nevada. Or perhaps in New Hampshire...Live Free or Die.

 

You are right !

 

If they had not pruned the tops of those trees my voice might have changed when I got to the bottom of the zipline ! :eek:

[take us away]

Thanks so much for the entertainment - eagerly awaiting part III (did you take Latin)?

[summer slope]

It's already up.

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2244397

[RedneckBob]

Thanks so much for the entertainment - eagerly awaiting part III (did you take Latin)?

 

I took Latin in 11 & 12 grade. But all I learned was the Roman numeral. In fact a few years from now the Super Bowl (LXXX) will be the same Roman number as my shirt size ! :D

[BigFoot Cruiser]

Shuckums! It sounds like yall had a good nuff time, One question was them shell oysters or mountain oysters? There’s a big difference in the knowin.

Alaska sounds like a rite nice place ta see. :D

 

Bigfoot Cruiser

[RedneckBob]

Shuckums! It sounds like yall had a good nuff time, One question was them shell oysters or mountain oysters? There’s a big difference in the knowin.

Alaska sounds like a rite nice place ta see. :D

 

Bigfoot Cruiser

 

Your from Arizona and write that way.

 

I have an excuse. When growing up in Alabama we were ranked 2nd in the country in education; 2nd from last. Mississippi always beat us out for last place!

[cruise_mojo]

it ain't in the knowin

 

its in the TASTINS!:eek:

[RedneckBob]

it ain't in the knowin

 

its in the TASTINS!:eek:

 

Someone else who cant write but I will you give you a pass being you are from North Carolina

[NapTown Jim]

I hate to tell you but when I grew up in Alabama I took French in grades 8, 9 and 10 from a wondeful French teacher, Monsieur Rene Leveque.

 

The only problem is that I am not good learning languages including ENGLISH !

 

When I arrived in grade 11 and showed up for my first day of 4th year French, Monsieur Leveque came up to me and said. "Mr. Redneck Bob, you have taken French from me for the past three years. You have learned nothing. I suggest you take Latin." :eek:

 

Well that's my story on French, Part Deux !

 

I had a similar experience. I had taken 3 years of German in high school and at the end of my 2nd semester of German in College my leher Karl-Heinz Regenbogen told me I should have taken French. He did not explain why. It could have been I wasn't a very good student or he couldn't pronounce my name (which is French) correctly. I don't know. Looking back I do wish I had learned to parlez Francais.