Being Left Alone

[Texas_Diver]

I'm doing a solo cruise in February. Is it rude to read a book or use my Kindle in the dining room at dinner?

[Tura Lura]

I'm doing a solo cruise in February. Is it rude to read a book or use my Kindle in the dining room at dinner?

 

Get a table for just yourself and do as you please. If you were sitting with a bunch of other people it would be kinda rude. I prefer to sit by myself and read :)

[Honolulu Blue]

I'm doing a solo cruise in February. Is it rude to read a book or use my Kindle in the dining room at dinner?

 

We had quite an extensive thread on this subject a few weeks ago: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2276605

[Virtopia]

I think the solo cruise I felt most felt alone was my last sailing out of NJ on the Explorer. When I don't feel like talking to anyone, I keep my distance and that makes things so much easier.

 

I had one issue sitting with a couple, when my friend and this woman's husband ended up spending quite a bit of time at the bar post dinner. They barely said a word to us the rest of the week. Other than that, if I don't feel comfortable at a table after my first dinner, I don't return. Easy as that :D

[cocod08]

I sailed alone on HAL once. 14 nights, not one passenger said hello. Several did not want me at their tables. I have always remembered what to me was a very poor experience.I am a Senior female. I gathered that some of these cruise ladies thought I was after their husbands. So if you want to be left alone give HAL a try, Staff had same attitude.

 

That is horrible! I tend to stick to myself for the most part but I have found most people are fairly friendly. But to make you feel unwelcome at dinner is so rude.

[SallyIinSd]

I'm doing a solo cruise in February. Is it rude to read a book or use my Kindle in the dining room at dinner?

 

 

I figure I will plan on talking to my table mates at dinner. I will have other opportunities to read.

[Tura Lura]

I figure I will plan on talking to my table mates at dinner. I will have other opportunities to read.

 

I plan to get my own table and bring my kindle.

Edited January 2, 2016 by Tura Lura

[vespertino]

I'm considering traveling solo. I'm married..but he is a chronic complainer who doesn't want to travel much anymore and our kids are 15 to 25

 

So any married women with kids who travel solo out there....would you mind telling me your reasoning? Does dh get pissed? I know mine doesn't care when I go with the girls and is no way jealous of other men anyway.... Frankly he doesn't care nor do I lol.... But I know he would be difficult if I went alone

 

Just would like to hear some various reasons and stories of solo travel

 

Thanks

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

 

A complainer, eh? Are you sure your hubs and mine aren't twins separated at birth? Mine complains so much that vacations aren't enjoyable with him and he's got a sour temper with strangers. He travels all the time for work so he just wants to stay home and relax, I completely empathize and understand the latter but I'd love to travel and rarely get the chance. His idea of the perfect vacation is a "staycation" but I get stuck with having to do all the cooking and grocery shopping so it's not a vacation for me at all, it's just another ordinary day filled with chores. Whenever I talk about traveling alone he does one of three things:

 

1) Says we don't have the money for me to take a solo cruse (although we do)

2) Insists on going with me despite not wanting to go, which I don't want since he'd spoil the vacation for me

3) Insults my desire to travel, puts me on the spot to justify why I enjoy traveling when he feels its such a loathsome thing, and generally has an incredulous attitude to my responses

 

He has his shining redeeming points and is a wonderful hubby, but this is becoming a problem. I will be going on a solo cruise whether he likes it or not at some point, I don't need his permission. He doesn't object when I go with my mom because her and I rarely get any quality time together and she is aging. But I want to go alone for solitude and sanity once in a while, I have a mentally intense and draining job so I've been craving peace, quiet, and someone else to cook my meals and clean my room when I go on a shore excursion!

 

I'm looking at doing a shorter solo cruise in 2016 but don't have any solid plans yet.

Edited January 3, 2016 by vespertino

[Tura Lura]

I leave my partner at home to watch the cats. I like my solo time, don't have to answer to anyone, worry about where they want to eat, if they like the show, who annoys them. Just do whatever I want, when I want. :)

[Lois R]

A complainer, eh? Are you sure your hubs and mine aren't twins separated at birth? Mine complains so much that vacations aren't enjoyable with him and he's got a sour temper with strangers. He travels all the time for work so he just wants to stay home and relax, I completely empathize and understand the latter but I'd love to travel and rarely get the chance. His idea of the perfect vacation is a "staycation" but I get stuck with having to do all the cooking and grocery shopping so it's not a vacation for me at all, it's just another ordinary day filled with chores. Whenever I talk about traveling alone he does one of three things:

 

1) Says we don't have the money for me to take a solo cruse (although we do)

2) Insists on going with me despite not wanting to go, which I don't want since he'd spoil the vacation for me

3) Insults my desire to travel, puts me on the spot to justify why I enjoy traveling when he feels its such a loathsome thing, and generally has an incredulous attitude to my responses

 

He has his shining redeeming points and is a wonderful hubby, but this is becoming a problem. I will be going on a solo cruise whether he likes it or not at some point, I don't need his permission. He doesn't object when I go with my mom because her and I rarely get any quality time together and she is aging. But I want to go alone for solitude and sanity once in a while, I have a mentally intense and draining job so I've been craving peace, quiet, and someone else to cook my meals and clean my room when I go on a shore excursion!

 

I'm looking at doing a shorter solo cruise in 2016 but don't have any solid plans yet.

 

WOW....:eek:....glad you said he has some redeeming points because

it doesn't come across that way when you listed the first 3 points....

sure sounds like he is mean:rolleyes:...and critical of what you like to do...:eek: insults you as well.....geezzz....

 

Hope he doesn't go off on you when you tell him you are going on your own........

 

And I hope you get some peace on your cruise.

Edited January 3, 2016 by Lois R

[perditax]

A complainer, eh? Are you sure your hubs and mine aren't twins separated at birth? Mine complains so much that vacations aren't enjoyable with him and he's got a sour temper with strangers. He travels all the time for work so he just wants to stay home and relax, I completely empathize and understand the latter but I'd love to travel and rarely get the chance. His idea of the perfect vacation is a "staycation" but I get stuck with having to do all the cooking and grocery shopping so it's not a vacation for me at all, it's just another ordinary day filled with chores. Whenever I talk about traveling alone he does one of three things:

 

1) Says we don't have the money for me to take a solo cruse (although we do)

2) Insists on going with me despite not wanting to go, which I don't want since he'd spoil the vacation for me

3) Insults my desire to travel, puts me on the spot to justify why I enjoy traveling when he feels its such a loathsome thing, and generally has an incredulous attitude to my responses

 

He has his shining redeeming points and is a wonderful hubby, but this is becoming a problem. I will be going on a solo cruise whether he likes it or not at some point, I don't need his permission. He doesn't object when I go with my mom because her and I rarely get any quality time together and she is aging. But I want to go alone for solitude and sanity once in a while, I have a mentally intense and draining job so I've been craving peace, quiet, and someone else to cook my meals and clean my room when I go on a shore excursion!

 

I'm looking at doing a shorter solo cruise in 2016 but don't have any solid plans yet.

 

 

Oof. You have a draining job AND you do all the shopping/cooking/cleaning AND he won't let you go on a vacation by yourself? I know these things can look a lot worse on paper (especially to strangers, without context), but if nothing else this is a great example of why we can't let up on gender equality yet.

[Lois R]

Oof. You have a draining job AND you do all the shopping/cooking/cleaning AND he won't let you go on a vacation by yourself? I know these things can look a lot worse on paper (especially to strangers, without context), but if nothing else this is a great example of why we can't let up on gender equality yet.

 

Hi,:) I wasn't trying to put down the poster and we are all strangers

on here....;) and yes, it looks bad to me....I am on my own and have

been for over 30 years....let up on Gender Equality? Never:eek:

 

When I read things about husbands/partners, etc and "getting permission"

to do things, well, I am glad I am on my own.

[vespertino]

Oof. You have a draining job AND you do all the shopping/cooking/cleaning AND he won't let you go on a vacation by yourself? I know these things can look a lot worse on paper (especially to strangers, without context), but if nothing else this is a great example of why we can't let up on gender equality yet.

 

Oh I was just venting about the bad things I suppose and it looked worse than it really is. The cooking nearly always falls to me since I'm much better at it and not due to gender roles. For context the marriage is mostly good and he does 75% of the cleaning (he is clean and neat), almost all of the non-food shopping and errands, ALL of the laundry (he folds it perfectly and put it away too!), always makes the bed, knows how to listen (most of the time), takes care of me and cooks for me when I'm sick.

 

Anyway the travel/vacation thing is one of the few things we clash about for a number of reasons. I get burned out during "staycations"; while I like eating tasty meals cooking is "work" to me and I don't consider anything to be a true vacation if I'm the de facto breakfast, lunch and dinner fairy for the duration. He doesn't seem to "get" that or why I enjoy cruises so much.

 

I'm hoping to time a cruise during a week that he's normally gone anyway so it won't feel like he's losing quality time with me. My decision will stand and he'll just have to deal with it, it won't kill him, he'll get over it.

 

I'm looking at some of the single-occupancy cabins on some of the various ships to avoid the penalty fees. I'm a little bummed out by the lack of options or maybe I don't know where to look quite yet.

[vespertino]

I sailed alone on HAL once. 14 nights, not one passenger said hello. Several did not want me at their tables. I have always remembered what to me was a very poor experience.I am a Senior female. I gathered that some of these cruise ladies thought I was after their husbands. So if you want to be left alone give HAL a try, Staff had same attitude.

 

I've been considering HAL recently, and your post came to mind. I'm really sorry that this happened to you. It irks me that these women haven't stopped to consider that solo/single travelers are paying far more per person just to participate in the cruise and probably have more than enough money of their own where they're not interested in other people's sugar daddies.

 

I'm somewhat concerned about going solo on HAL being in my late 30's, while I want to be left alone it would trouble me if (when I did feel like being social) I was treated rudely by other people on the ship, especially in the MDR. My experiences on Celebrity and RCL with my MDR table mates were always great, I found everyone to be friendly and interesting with a good sense of humor, I didn't get the impression that the wives felt threatened by me, but it may have been that I was traveling with my mother. When when asked if I was single I'd always let them know I was married but hubs doesn't enjoy cruising (which is true). Bad manners from insecure women would certainly bother me if I experienced that on a future trip.

[Barrheadlass]

I sailed on HAL 4 times, 3 with my husband and the last time with a friend. There are rude people everywhere but I have to say I haven't run into them on HAL. I signed up for a Hal cruise this summer, going solo, and it never occurred to me to worry about rude or unfriendly folks. My fare was not double, it was 160 percent...certainly bad enough. My friend decided to go, saving me a bundle...

As to husbands staying home...mine no longer wants to travel. I'm heading off to Nepal next month alone. I took 6 trips last year, he went on one. When people ask me if he "lets me" I really really get annoyed. This is not the era where women can't vote! Go and have a good time!

[organized cruisin]

I'm considering traveling solo. I'm married..but he

 

So any married women with kids who travel solo out there....would you mind telling me your reasoning? Does dh get pissed? I know mine doesn't care when I go with the girls and is no way jealous of other men anyway.... Frankly he doesn't care nor do I lol.... But I know he would be difficult if I went alone

 

Just would like to hear some various reasons and stories of solo travel.

 

I'm married and go alone. We used to travel together, my husband would now rather stay home. I get asked a lot if he minds if I go without him. My honest response is I don't care if he minds...he doesn't want to go! As some others mentioned, there is a lot to see out there, and I want to see it!

I am traveling sans husband. He is a downer to me on vacations in general and momma needs to be taken care of too. So I am leaving him at home while I cruise. I asked him to meet me for the weekend at the cruise port city for an overnight. That is about all we can handle.

 

I am an introvert. I like being around people, but will choose my kindle first if given a choice. My energy drops like an anchor at times, so making a plan is exciting--until I actually have to do it. Cruising lets me say yeah or nay in the moment without feeling like I am missing anything. The book The Introvert Advantage helps me feel secure about why I prefer to vacation this way. When I did family traveling, I enjoyed exploring on my own and then having a set time to sit and chat with my family (6:00 reserved seating).

 

My husband does not like that I want to vacation alone. He does not get it, but with all the time given to get used to it he is working to accept it. We have an "us" trip locally we are doing for Valentines. So I reassure him I love him and then grin secretly for a vacation away and solo.

[vespertino]

I am traveling sans husband. He is a downer to me on vacations in general and momma needs to be taken care of too. So I am leaving him at home while I cruise. I asked him to meet me for the weekend at the cruise port city for an overnight. That is about all we can handle.

 

I am an introvert. I like being around people, but will choose my kindle first if given a choice. My energy drops like an anchor at times, so making a plan is exciting--until I actually have to do it. Cruising lets me say yeah or nay in the moment without feeling like I am missing anything. The book The Introvert Advantage helps me feel secure about why I prefer to vacation this way. When I did family traveling, I enjoyed exploring on my own and then having a set time to sit and chat with my family (6:00 reserved seating).

 

My husband does not like that I want to vacation alone. He does not get it, but with all the time given to get used to it he is working to accept it. We have an "us" trip locally we are doing for Valentines. So I reassure him I love him and then grin secretly for a vacation away and solo.

 

 

You might also be interested in Susan Cain (her book: "Quiet: the power of introverts"), also saw her lecture at the GLS a couple years ago, I highly recommended for fellow introverts.

[Barrheadlass]

This is really strange. The above 2 posters quoted me, but those are not my postings!